Cassandra settled down for another day of reading, deciding today that it would be better to sit on a secluded area of the battlements instead of the stump she usually repurposed as a chair. Thinking back on Varric's story the night before filled her with both hope and dread. She hoped for her friends' return, and for Varric to have his chance to talk to The Champion. She dreaded the day the inquisitor came back without her and she had to watch him mourn.

Such thoughts would not help their situation, as she knew well. Waiting was all there was to be done now and so she would fill her time with stories.

It's been a few days since I've been able to write anything down here - but there's a perfectly good reason for that. You see, Hawke and I have only just returned from Sundermount.

It was a particularly cold winter morning, and Anders was running low on supplies for his clinic. Hawke, seemingly looking for a distraction, offered to scour the mountainside for any remaining herbs. I tried to reason with her that at this time of year we probably wouldn't find anything useful, but she was having none of it.

So in the end Hawke, Anders, Fenris and I scaled the mountainside through the snow. Even though Hawke had offered her services, Anders didn't like the idea of leaving us to it when it was his problem to deal with. Nothing had been said about the incident with Fenris since that night in the Hanged Man but they were as sickeningly close as ever. I guessed they must have made up.

Sometime around mid afternoon the snow began to fall again. Sensing that this would become more than a flurry, Fenris and Anders were attempting to persuade Hawke to leave the mountain. She declined.

Eventually she snapped at them to leave her to it, I figured she must have been in a poor mood over something and told them to leave and I'd keep an eye on her. They begrudgingly agreed.

The snow began to fall thicker and faster, in the end it was impossible to see far enough in front of us to actually search for any more plants. I spotted a small alcove we could use as a makeshift shelter until the storm passed and we settled inside as the wind whipped around us. Hawke was good at practical things like lighting fires, so, realising the gravity of the situation we were in, she used some of the plant material we gathered to start one. Eventually it seemed that the storm wasn't going to pass any time soon, so we huddled up together to try and weather it. We agreed to take turns staying awake to watch the fire and let the other rest. This went well at first, but eventually I opened my eyes to complete darkness.

Fumbling around I realised Hawke was still next to me, and she woke with a start when I accidentally grabbed her face.

"Varric, what the shit?" she began, before also realising the situation we'd found ourselves in.

I heard her shuffle about before there was a mumble followed by a spark and she had counjured a fireball in the palm of her hand, which she used to bring our fire back to life. No sooner had my sight been restored than I wished it hadn't. In the end we had both fallen asleep, the fire had gone out and we were snowed in. It was freezing cold, dangerously so. Hawke shivered, but I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or fear.

We spent some time testing the thickness of the snow above us, and various methods of escape before realising we were well and truly stuck. There must have been several feet of snow above us and any attempt to move it would just cause it all to collapse in on us, making survival even less likely. We stayed stuck for hours, pressed together for warmth. We had wrapped any available materials around us like a makeshift cocoon.

Being trapped has a way of making you consider the regrets you've had in your life and how to fix them. I found myself thinking of Bianca, and Hawke and the entire situation I was in as far as my emotions were concerned. There wasn't really any way to wrap my head around it, and I felt an idiot for developing these feelings for my friend when I already had someone else. Didn't I? Sometimes I wasn't sure if I even cared about Bianca like that any more, but any time I had that kind of thought the guilt would eat me alive.

I was left with my thoughts for a long time, the two of us drifting in and out of conciousness. It was only later on we would discover we'd been stuck for two days.

"You know, I tried apologising to Fenris." Hawke said eventually, offering a reprieve from my mind. Her throat was dry so her voice was rougher than usual.

I looked up at her. Thinking pease don't let my last conversation before I die be about Fenris.

"Apologising? Maker, what for?"

"I guess just hurting his feelings, not considering how I'd affect him."

"He didn't exactly help you to understand them, and he left you to fend for yourself after that."

The idea that Hawke felt like she had to apologise for anything after the way it went down baffled me. Then again, maybe I was biased, I wasn't technically there after all.

"Yeah, but he's just confused. It was partly my fault anyway."

"Andraste's ass Hawke, if Fenris has been telling you it's your fault…"

"What? No! No. I came to that conclusion myself. It doesn't matter anyway."

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?"

"He said he wanted space, I'm pretty sure we're still together but he doesn't want any affection or anything right now."

I ground my teeth in an attempt to stop the growing temptation to yell at her to leave him and get on with her life.

"I get that you care about him but you really need to call him out on his shit."

"Yeah, I guess I just feel a bit unwanted at the moment."

Being trapped inside this cave with nothing but each other and our small fire for heat made the hours tick by painfully slowly. Hawke's current revelation about Fenris was enough to make my blood boil. I mean the guy's always had clear issues - as if any of our friends haven't - but to mess her around like this was really pushing it. She looked up at me from the spot where her head had been resting on my chest, her eyes were so fierce even now.

"I'm sorry," she said smiling a little sadly and didn't give me a chance to ask why. "Indulge me a little bit?"

With that she'd put her lips against mine as she had done before, except this time it wasn't hesitant or unsure. This was a decision she'd committed to fully with no time for second guessing. I'm sure you can tell where this goes next. As much as I liked to be careful when it came to Hawke, I was still into her in a big way. I'd accepted that and also spent time coming to terms with what that meant for me and for her. It seemed, however, that all the mental preparation I'd done for moving on from her wasn't enough to persuade myself to push her away.

I could feel her shaking again, trying to convince myself that it was from the cold - and wondering if I was shaking too. No doubt the energy we were expending now could have gone into keeping us alive, but I don't think either of us cared.

At some point it had changed from her confidence and my apprehension to the two of us releasing a lot of pent up feelings. Thankfully I was able to remind her that she was technically still in a relationship with Fenris at this point despite what she'd told me. It was an effort to cut our make-out session short before I did something I would really regret. Her response of 'fuck that' was amusing but she did back down all the same.

"I'm beginning to think you're just worried you wouldn't be enough for me." She teased, I scoffed. Things like that should not be said between friends, especially from Hawke, I had a sinking feeling I'd become part of her collection of people who've fallen for her. Another notch on the bedpost so to speak. As if I wasn't confused enough by it as I was.

"Or is Bianca in my way again?"

I knew she'd meant it as a joke, but there was something about her choice of timing that really ticked me off.

"Andraste's flaming ass Hawke!"

She put a hand delicately over her mouth while shrinking back, and I remember thinking it was the most ladylike thing she'd ever done.

"Ah shit Varric I didn't mean -"

"We're both in a situation where this isn't okay you know? It's not harmless, and it involves more than you or I."

Thinking back on it I don't know why I snapped like I did. Maybe I had spent too long stewing over it.

"I know that! Do you think I've got much of a clue what's going on?"

It became silent save for the sound of someone digging outside. Both of us turned to the opening of the cave and watched as a pair of hands broke the final layer of snow. The argument was ended, but it wasn't truly over.