Sephiroth's POV
I watched Cassmora fall into a deep slumber and breathed a sigh of relief. My interior immediately crumbled in the darkness of the bedroom and I rolled onto my back, putting my hands over my eyes. I felt nauseous. I slowly eased out of the tiny bed and closed the bathroom door behind me. I continued to the toilet where I emptied my stomachs contents. With every heave I saw the same images in my mind that Cassmora had filled me with. Hojo, her bloody room, and the acts that were done to her. I heard her screams once more in my mind and sat down on the bathroom floor.
Sorrow had filled me before but it was now replaced with a burning rage that burned deep within my soul. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes. I would murder that beast with my bare hands. I wanted to rip out his heart and shove it in his mouth. A darker part of me wanted to stab him with Masamune in the same way he penetrated my Cass. I would hear him beg for mercy… if it were the last thing I do.
I flushed the toilet and rinsed out my mouth before heading back to the bedroom. How did she keep those memories from Lucien? I knew that when he matured and became more powerful, she wouldn't be able to. My son could not witness that. He had to be protected. I walked over to the bed and lay next to her once again to put both hands on Cassmora's head. Putting a mental block on all those memories would protect Lucien and only I could do that for her. In Wutai, during the wars I wasn't the best soldier for only my skill in combat, but for other inhuman skills as well. Making a soldier forget who he was and who he worked for was one my specialties.
Inside her brain I saw many memories flood through before I found what I was looking for. I also saw our first encounter outside President Shinra's office, our meeting in the lunchroom, and our first night together. I continued until I had witnessed the entirety of our relationship...until I left her….
Cassmora's POV
"Sephiroth, please think about what you're doing!", I said as I followed him to the door of his fancy apartment. I had been staying there for the past three months and it had so many of my things in it, it was more mine than his. Sephiroth ignored me as he sheathed his sword and grabbed the keys to his motorcycle. I grabbed his arm. "I am afraid of what you might find," I said. With one powerful shrug he pushed me from him and I almost fell to the ground. This movement shocked me and I studied the man before me. He was not himself. This wasn't the man I had fallen in love with.
"Sephiroth… You have done your part, let SOLDIER do the rest. You might find out more than you bargain for. I love you just the way you are, why must you find out Shinra secrets?" I begged with him as he rested his hand on the door. "….I may not return…." He said as he turned the handle to the door. "What do you mean?" I asked in a whisper. "…The truth may change everything. I must find out about my mother and the Jenova Project. I don't think that includes you anymore." Sephiroth swung open the door without so much as a backward glance. "…Who are you? You are not my Sephiroth. You…you are acting like a monster! I don't know you…" With one final blow, Sephiroth turned to look at me and I saw something I had never seen before. He was always determined and self-assured, but in his eyes, I saw a pure hatred that shook me to the core. He didn't love me anymore. He loved nothing anymore. Something had possessed his soul…. With that, Sephiroth turned to leave and slammed the door behind him. I fell to my knees and felt a pang of nausea hit me full force. I stayed like that for hours, contemplating my next move. Suddenly I heard a knock on the door. Sephiroth…. I raced to the door and opened to find Hojo staring at me from under his glasses…..
Sitting straight up, I woke in a sweat and looked wild eyed around me. My breath came out in rapid gasps and I strained to see in the darkness. I then realized two hands on my waist and I realized I was still in Sephiroth's grasp. "I'm still here…" He said in a hushed whisper and I felt my panic begin to die. "Is Lucien back yet?", I asked. "No…It has only been twenty minutes." "Oh." I wiped my forehead with the palm of my hand and let it linger there in the darkness. "Did you see…?" "Mmmmm…" Sephiroth responded, his voice still a whisper. Part of me hoped that he hadn't, yet another part was glad that he had witnessed that wretched moment in my life through my eyes. He was drunk with anger and desperation and saw a chance to discover the truth. I was drunk on love and only saw him.
His voice appeared in my head. Would it be better if I took leave? "No." I said aloud and sensed his surprise at my immediate response. Why did I say that? I didn't need Sephiroth. I had not needed him for a long time. So why did I think that I would fall into a million pieces if he left my side? We sat in silence for a few moments before I realized that he was still holding onto my waist. His thumbs had begun a slow rhythmic pattern above my hips and I realized my face was turning hot. I hadn't been touched like this in such a long time that the lightest stroke of the hand left me in a puddle of lava, scorching everything in it's path. He sensed this too and I heard a low rumble rise up in his throat. His acknowledgment only made me burn hotter and I scrambled away from him in embarrassment.
He grabbed me again quickly and brought my back into his chest. You know you can't escape me. You never could… You are not strong enough. His fingers danced along my jaw line and then down my collarbone, leaving a trail of fire in it's path. I shivered in pure desire and closed my eyes. My body leaned into his touch as he once again made his way down my body….across my chest….across my abdomen…until he reached the top of my pajama bottoms. His hand lay there perfectly still as if waiting for a green light and I felt his internal thoughts become serious. I started to pant and leaned into his touch. I don't want to do anything to you unless you want me to… My eyes opened as I pondered on what he was saying. Even when we were sleeping together on a regular basis, he had never been so aware of me. So careful… I felt like I was going to explode. His hesitation had only made me hungrier for more and I suppressed a moan. I had made up my mind this time. No matter what happened, I did not want my last memories of sex to be filled with Hojo's face. I wanted the visions out of my head and replaced with something much more enjoyable and passionate. I wanted Sephiroth and I wanted him now, more than ever. "No matter what happens…no matter what I say, please don't stop. As you said before, my mind needs to be healed…" He hesitated for a moment and I entered his mind. Please…Please make love to me Sephiroth. Like you used to…
BEGINNING OF LEMON
Without another minute lost, Sephiroth pushed me into the mattress and began to ravish my mouth with his own. His hands found mine beneath the sheets and brought them to rest beside my head, his pointer fingers digging into my palms while his hands held my wrists tight. His mouth made his way down my neck. I felt his body add pressure to my own and a moan escaped from my lips, too strong to be held back this time. His hands released my wrists and ran over my arms and down my sides only to make their way back up to tear my shirt from my torso. My freed hands ran across his chest, memorizing his skin. Oh, how I had missed him. I had lay in bed so many nights wishing for his touch and yearning for his arms around me. I had cried out for him in the darkness of that prison, begging him to take me away. He stopped to discard his shirt, but my hands were already there. I removed his shirt from his body, causing his hair to tumble around his shoulders. The scene of him glistening in the moonlight caused my mouth to water and I reached up for him once more. His hands undid the buckle of his pants for the second time that night and I reached down to remove my own. No, let me do it. I paused and waited for his hands in the darkness. Sephiroth grabbed the top of my PJ's and slid them off in a hurry. I couldn't stand it any longer. I needed him inside me. I heard him chuckle in my head and knew he would only extend my suffering. His mouth once again came down upon me as he traveled farther down my body. The path they were taking was one for destruction and I knew what he was planning. His head rested above my pubic bone and he raised his head to glare at me with his signature smirk. I was done for.
"Sephiroth…Please…..!" I sobbed and twisted under his hold. He came back up to kiss me passionately again before positioning himself between my knees. His mouth hesitated and all movement ceased. Are you sure? I opened my eyes and felt myself become nervous. What if I freaked out like I did earlier? No. I needed this and he knew it. Before I could answer, Sephiroth thrust into me with one powerful push.
I arched like a bow.
Passion and pain hit me at once and I cried out in the night. My scars from years ago had caused me discomfort that I realized in that moment would never heal. His breathing stopped and he gave me a few moments to let my body adjust to him. Memories began to seep back into my mind of that horrid event and I turned my head, shutting my eyes in nervousness and pain. No….look at me... I turned my eyes upon him once more and could only make out some of his facial features. He was absolutely angelic. I felt tears sting my eyes as I tried desperately to erase the past. Don't think of that now...Think of me. My breathing became rapid once again and my hips began moving on their own accord. The pain began to decrease and desire was slowly taking it's place. His body came back to life and there in my bed that night, I found myself once again as I screamed out his name. We both reached our breaking points at the same time and Sephiroth filled me with his passion. I trembled in my aftermath of desire. The act left me breathless and neither of us moved until Sephiroth slowly eased out of me and brought me to roll onto his chest. I closed my eyes and felt my body relax into his touch. His hand traced my scars up and down my back and I felt myself begin to drift again when we both heard the footsteps heading up the stairs to my home.
END OF LEMON
As beautiful as this evening had turned out to be, our next thoughts were both swears. "Shit..." In an anxious attempt to regain myself, my shaky hands rushed to pull my cloths back on and pull my hair up to make a bit of a style. Sephiroth came out triumphant in the race to be clothed and calm, of course, and he headed for the bedroom door. As his hand rested on the doorknob and my foot fought to enter my pajama pants, our eyes met for a few minutes. His glare spoke a thousand words and I knew he would be back for more before the night was up. No, Lucien sometimes sleeps with me. You have to control yourself. He smirked, and turned to exit the room. Hmmm...we will see... His low chuckle erupted inside my mind as I heard him open the front door and nonchalantly welcome the Turks. Their hushed whispers told me that Lucien must have fallen asleep and as soon as I was composed, I walked out to greet them as well.
Reno stood with his back on the wall cradling my sleeping son in his arms. I caught his warm smile peering down into his face before he noticed my presence. "Cass...how you feelin?" I nodded my head but felt a bit too embarrassed to answer. Both for my loss of control at the battlefield and the actions I partook in only minutes earlier. I knew my voice would croak and stifled a yawn to make up for my lack of voice. Sephiroth watched me closely, knowingly studying my posture and composure. You could read me like a book and I knew it. Thank Gaia Sephiroth was as composed as he was and always had been.
Rude took his turn to speak. "Rufus has requested for us all to meet at the bar tomorrow morning to discuss another plan. 9 am. He said to get rest." All this was said behind sunglasses, but I was getting to the point of being able to read Rude much better than ever before. He was concerned. I entered his mind to reveal his anxiety and realized he was concerned for Lucien and myself. He didn't want to leave us with Sephiroth. "We will be fine," I said aloud to ease his mind and felt his shoulders relax a bit. Sephiroth glared at Rude and I knew he had seen his worries as well. "So you get some rest too." With that, I eased Lucien out of Reno's arms and left the room. Carefully, I placed Lucien in his tiny toddler bed and switched on his nightlight. Stars and planets danced around his quiet little room as I remembered the first time he slept in this bed all night by himself. I was so shocked when he didn't wake at all, that I spent the entire night checking on him to make sure he was still breathing. That was rough. I sat in the floor and watched my son's angelic face peacefully dreaming and felt curious as to what he was thinking of.
I entered his tiny dreams to see my face smiling down at him. We were in the living room. Normal. Watching television and eating popcorn. How funny that as young as my son was, his "good dreams" were just a normal reality. I felt guilty that my son had to endure such a horrible event in his life such as this. I continued watching his dream as Sephiroth came into the room. At about that time, I saw Sephiroth in Lucien's dream as well. He was there too, watching tv. We all three sat on my couch, Lucien in the middle of us, hanging out. As a family. I heard Sephiroth's voice in my head and felt another pang of guilt. My son wanted a family. More importantly, my son wanted a father. I released my son's mind and sat unmoving on the floor. My next thoughts toward Sephiroth were hesitant, but I had to get my feelings across to him.
Sephiroth...I still...I know you have changed and you are back to help us...but...I am still having a hard time trusting you. At that I turned to look at this face. The stars and planets from Lucien's nightlight lit up the room just enough to read his face, but I should have known that I wouldnt' see much emotion. His face was stoic, so I continued on. I don't think you will hurt us... I am afraid... I hesitated once again and didn't know if I could go on. Tell me. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself. I am afraid... of you... I saw what you did...to all those people. To the planet. And even though I know you won't hurt us, I can't trust you. I can't trust you to stay with me. I can't trust you to be... a father. Lucien needs consistency and you have never shown me that. I want you more than ever...but I feel like I shouldn't...
With that I turned to tuck Lucien in and kissed him lightly on the forehead. I moved to exit the room but Sephiroth stopped me. No, let's talk out here. I want to hear your voice. I could tell he agreed and followed me into the living room. I collapsed on the couch and felt my exhaustion catch up with me. Sephiroth joined me quietly on the couch and I scooted to keep from touching him. I knew even the slightest contact would distract me from what I wanted to say. "Sephiroth. I don't know how to trust you." I paused and waited for his reply. It never came and I could feel his body grow rigid. "How can I? I want to. I know that I can in bed, but that is something completely different than being present in my... in Lucien's, life." Sephiroth thought long and hard about his next sentence, but it paid off. His words were something I had waited to hear for a long time. "I have given you no reason to trust me. You want consistency and the only hope I can give you is what I can show. I am here now to protect our son. That's my purpose, I never had that before. A purpose." With that he looked up at me. "I am sorry that I did not make you my purpose before. But I have come back from the dead to make that up to you."