Please don't hate me. I promised I would finish this...six months ago. Then internship. New boyfriend. Semester. Well finally, here I am. I have two chapters left. I am so sorry I put this off. I hope this is good!

The Smash Mansion was not a happy place. Brawlers were growing beyond antsy with the lack of visitors and inability to leave. Friends were starting to hate each other. There hadn't been any parties all season. The forced bonding was all a farce. And to make it all worse, everyone's stashes were running dangerously low since delivery stopped a few weeks earlier.

Ike had taken the full brunt of everyone's anger. He was being blamed for the lack of shipments. It was his fault and he knew it, but he didn't care to do anything about it. He had delved into deep self-loathing since breaking up with Peach, hiding in his room at all hours and talking to no one. He couldn't even catch up on his shows.

Peach herself was going through a tough time. Ike's friends had completely alienated her, pissed at her actions. She couldn't be mad at them. She understood. She fucked up and now she was dealing with the consequences. Her only friend left was Zelda, and even the Hylian was too busy with her boyfriend to make time for her.

To make it even worse, Peach had gone back to Bowser with her tail between her legs, hoping he would take her back. He, of course, cackled and slammed the door shut in her face. This rejection stung more than anything, and now Peach was truly alone.

The only happy one seemed to be Marth, who had gotten leave to go see Caeda. He told Master Hand that Caeda was ill and he had to care for her, but really, he was over Rosalina's scheming and wanted to cuddle with his girlfriend for a solid weekend.

But the news of Marth's approval for leave made one swordsman very, very angry. Link stormed to Master Hand's office with every intention to let the boss have it for denying his request to get out of there once again.

"What is this?" Link barged into the office and brandished a piece of paper high. "What the fuck is this?"

Master Hand glanced up at the steaming mad Hylian. "Link, calm down, I-"

"No!" Link slammed the paper down onto his desk. He was not one to lose his cool, but now that he did, Master Hand was going to listen to him. "This is ridiculous, Master Hand! Why are you denying my leave again? This is the fourth time!"

"Link, I don't think it's necessary to-"

"To hell with what you think!" Link pounded his fist on the wooden surface. A nice civil conversation would probably move this along better, but Link was straight up tired of being diplomatic. He wasn't Zelda. He was a warrior. "This doesn't make any sense. I'm just asking for one night. We're not even going that far! Just to town! For dinner!"

"I understand that but-"

Link had to bite his tongue to keep from whining, but he found it difficult to do. "I am going crazy in here, Master Hand. We all are. These rules are fucking ridiculous and you know it. The tournament was more successful without them. And now…now you give Marth leave for an entire weekend but you deny me a date night? What gives? Why do you hate me? I'm fucking iconic to this franchise!"

Master Hand sighed, rolling his eyes if he could. "Link, calm down. I don't hate you. This isn't personal at all."

"Then why?" The Hylian was exasperated. "God, I'm too old to be parented like this."

"You're right," Master Hand agreed. "Honestly, I've been noticing too much imbalance here lately. I didn't expect the rules to be this bad. Maybe I should have eased them in better. You know, I've even heard rumors that there was some…smuggling operation going on. Can you believe that? This isn't the Prohibition."

Link stiffened, glancing at Master Hand before looking away. How much did he know?

But Master Hand noticed that. "You…you know about this, don't you?"

Link forced a laugh. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"No, you do!" Master Hand became angry. "I can't believe it! You, Link? You're one of the good ones!"

Link now didn't have to force his laugh.

"Alright," Master Hand rose to his full height. "What's going on? Tell me right now."

Link crumpled up the paper in his fist. "Forget it. I'll just have Zelda apply or something." He turned for the door.

"Stop right there." Master Hand demanded.

The swordsman reached the door, so close to freedom.

"If you tell me, I'll grant you leave."

Link paused. "What did you say?"

"If you tell me what you know about the smuggling, I'll let you go out."

Link felt his heart beating quickly. Could…could he snitch? No. No, that was awful. These were his friends! His best friends! But…his princess. He just wanted to take her out. She was so kind and good to him, and back in Hyrule she did so much for him. There was little he could do for her, since, let's be real – he couldn't afford that much. This was just one thing! Something romantic. A grand gesture to celebrate their love.

But… "I don't know shit." Link lied through his teeth. He desperately wanted a date night, but he knew Zelda would respect him more for keeping this secret. "Can I go now?"

Master Hand wasn't done. "I'll give you a weekend."

Link's heart stopped now. A weekend? An entire weekend? He couldn't. He shouldn't! They just had an entire break off together!

"A weekend and…exemption from mandatory activities for a week."

"A month," Link countered.

"A month," Master Hand agreed. "Do we have a deal?"

Link thought it over. It wasn't like he would get in trouble, right? And honestly, they wouldn't know it was him. Anyone could have snitched. Why, he could blame some of the more villainous brawlers! "I just have to give you a name?"

"Well, a little more than that. I mean, that could be a start."

Link pursed his lips, still thinking.

"Link. You're our star. Help me out here. Help me so I can help you. Just tell me something. Anything."

"Anything?" Link raised an eyebrow. "Okay, Master Hand."

The boss leaned forward excitedly.

"Go fuck yourself." Link turned around and marched out of the office. Yeah, he wasn't a snitch.

Pit was back in the gym, finishing up a long workout session. He glanced in the mirror and had to smile a bit. He was looking good! He had been spending a lot of time here, since everything else sucked, and it was actually paying off. At least there was something to be happy about.

"Hey," the Wii Fit trainer spotted him and gave him a wink as she waltzed in. "What's up?"

"Oh, not much," he waved at her. "Done for the day," he pointed back to the weights.

"Aw, that's too bad. I was hoping you'd join me."

Pit sighed. He was tired, but some company sounded nice. "I could do like a post-workout stretch."

She beamed and took his hand, leading him to the mats lining the back wall. She placed both hands against the mirror and stretched her legs back one by one, making sure to lift them as high as they would go.

"Yeah, I can't do that," Pit's eyes widened as he watched her. "I probably can't even get higher than your knee."

"Try it."

He leaned against the glass and tried lifting one of his legs back.

She giggled and bent down, "No, no. You're not doing this right. I know you can do this," she placed a hand on his thigh and another on his knee. "How does this feel?" She pushed it up.

He cleared his throat, his face reddening. "Not…good."

She laughed and dropped it. "Okay, maybe you're not as flexible as I thought."

"I'm getting better! You've been a great teacher."

"And you've been a great student," she smiled at him. "By the end of this tournament, I promise to get you to at least straighten your leg."

He chuckled, "I don't know. That might be difficult. But I'll try."

"And you could teach me a thing or two about weightlifting," she playfully hit his arm.

He nervously rubbed his arm. "I don't really know what I'm doing. I just spend a lot of time here. I think that's all it is."

"Well, you're looking pretty strong. I bet you could pick up two of me."

He nodded. "Maybe. Probably not. I don't know."

The two settled in an awkward silence for a moment. That conversation was…weird. Pit didn't know what to think of it. He kind of just wanted to go back to his room and be alone, as per usual. "Um," he finally spoke up, "I think I'm-"

But he wouldn't finish his sentence. The Wii Fit trainer placed her hands on his shoulders, lifting her head to give him a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. She dropped down and smiled coyly, her pale cheeks turning pink.

Pit froze in his spot. Did she just…?

"Sorry!" She bit her lip in worry. "I thought…well, I thought you…" she sighed. "I thought you liked me."

He looked her over nervously. He was hoping this wasn't another Rosalina situation. And honestly, he didn't even notice that she was interested.

"Sorry," she apologized again, embarrassed. "I'll just go." She turned around.

"Wait!" He called after her. He couldn't stand seeing someone be so upset because of him.

She stopped in her tracks and looked back.

"I like you too, but-"

That was all Pit needed to say. The Wii Fit trainer ran back and pressed her lips against his. Well, okay then. Pit was going to tell her she was just a friend to him, but…this attention…was nice. He wrapped his arms around her back to draw her close as she hung off his neck, kissing him harder.

This was wrong. This felt wrong. Well, actually, it felt good. But still. Wrong. The Wii Fit trainer pushed him against the wall, her teeth clacking against his as they made out. He clutched at her hair, then hurriedly tugged off her hair-tie so he could run his fingers through the brown locks. His mind kept telling him to stop, but his body was too deprived of any human touch to listen.

It was when she was sucking on his neck that Pit heard two voices coming from near the door. He lazily opened his eyes, but they widened the moment he recognized who was there.

Samus had finally convinced Ike to leave his room. Since he wasn't getting laid, what better way to lift his spirits than a good old-fashioned romp in the gym? (Side note: anyone who actually thinks this way is wrong).

"Ooo, I hear someone making out in there!" Ike giddily ran in. "Oh, shit!" He gasped once he saw who. Immediately, he covered Samus's eyes, just as Pit pushed the trainer away from him.

"Get the fuck off of me," Samus shoved Ike's hand away, giving his wrist a good twist for measure. The second she turned back to the room, she wished his hand was on her face again. Her heart dropped to her stomach, and she took a shaky step backwards.

"Sam!" Pit immediately called, having successfully smoothed back his hair and wiped off his mouth. "This isn't what it looks like!"

The Wii Fit trainer was offended. "Then, what is this?"

Pit didn't care about her. He dashed after the bounty hunter, who had stormed angrily out of the gym.

Ike laughed the moment they were both gone. He was definitely cheered up now.

"Sam!" Pit kept shouting as he looked for her. "Where are you?" He kept searching frantically. How did she get away from him so fast?

He spotted a familiar yellow brawler bouncing along with his friends nearby. Quickly, he scurried over. "Pikachu!" He bent down and grabbed him. "Have you seen Samus?"

Pikachu eyed him warily, distrustful.

"Please!" Pit begged. "I'm not going to hurt her. I want to talk to her!"

With a little huff, Pikachu looked towards the front door to the mansion. She had gone out. Pit thanked him and ran outside, hoping to find her somewhere.

Meanwhile, Samus was in the woods, opening up the box she had her little Pokemon hide there weeks ago. Fuck this. Fuck him. Fuck boys. What use were they anyway? She had more fun on her own. All they did was hurt her or hit on her. Fuck that.

She ripped off the top of the scotch and took a long gulp. Fuck, this was good. But she couldn't even enjoy it. The asshole that gave it to her clearly was over her. Just like she was over him! She lifted the bottle high in the air and smashed it against the ground. Good riddance.

One by one, she began breaking the contents of the box. Goodbye ice balls. Goodbye glasses. Fuck you all to hell. Now for the box itself. It wouldn't smash well. That was a bummer. She pulled her gun from her holster and shot it to pieces instead. Effective.

The sound of the gun brought Pit running. "Sam!" He called again. He saw her standing over shards of glass and wood, then looked at her with concern. "Are you okay? I heard shooting."

She trained her gun on him. "Go away."

He held his hands up in defense. "I'm not here to fight you. I just want to clear things up."

She stood unwavering. She didn't want to hear him – not now, not ever. It hurt her more than she expected to see him kissing someone else. Sure, they weren't together, but it still pained her in a way she couldn't understand.

"She and I…" Pit started, realizing she wouldn't speak. "We're just friends."

"That doesn't look like friends."

"But we are! I don't know what that was!" He took a cautious step closer. "Listen, Sam-"

"Don't call me that!"

"Samus," he corrected. "I've been…well…it's been pretty tough since we got back. The delivery stuff and the strikes," he threw a hand up. "I haven't had many people to talk to."

Her grip on her gun loosened a little, but she still kept it pointed at his chest.

"She was there. I talked to her. She kissed me. I…" he sighed. "I kissed her back." He looked down glumly. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" She lowered her weapon. "We're not together. It doesn't matter."

"It didn't feel right. It felt like I was…betraying you. Or something."

"Do whatever you want," she stuffed the gun away. "I don't care."

"I care!" He pointed to himself. "I don't want to hurt you. And I know I did," he motioned to the gun.

"Kiss whoever you want. Fuck whoever you want." She waved him off, turning to go.

"Samus, I won't!" He called after her. "I can't! I can't be with anyone else!"

"Sucks for you. I've already started with Ike."

Pit's heart sank. He felt pangs running through his body in waves. What? She…so she was, what? Sleeping with Ike? Dating Ike? His "friend" Ike? As the bounty hunter walked away, he looked down at the mess on the ground. Ugh, he recognized his gift to her, destroyed beyond belief. Why did this hurt so much? They broke up what felt like forever ago. They were allowed to see other people. But a part of him still belonged to her. A major part of him. How long would this misery go on?

Back in the house, Link was cuddling with Zelda in their bed. She was reading, and he had his arms around her, focused on 8-ball on his phone.

"Hey," she turned her head up to look at him in between chapters. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fucking terrible at this game."

"No, not that," she giggled. "You seem…off."

"Do I?"

She nodded, grazing her fingertips along his jaw. "Your eyes aren't so bright."

He smiled at her. How did he go so long without her? They knew each other too well. He gave her a soft kiss. "That meeting with Master Hand did not go well earlier."

"It's alright. We don't need to go out. I'm happy here."

"I just want to treat you, Zee. You do so much for me."

"You do treat me," she touched the pendant at her neck.

"I want to give you a night out. Take you to dinner or a watch party. Anything you want. Just not here."

She turned so she was facing him. "I want to go out too. But it's not worth getting in trouble."

"Oh, thank God," he breathed a sigh of relief. "I almost made the worst deal with Master Hand to get a weekend away with you."

She squinted at him. "What deal?"

"He offered me a weekend away with you, plus a month off mandatory activities, if I gave him some info about Ike's little smuggling ring."

"What?" Zelda was shocked, sitting up straight now. "What does he know?"

"Just that it existed. And I guess that I was involved. Or that I know something about it."

"Link!" She took his shoulders. "You cannot get in trouble for this!"

"Hey, hey, I won't," he assured her.

"No, I'm serious. If you get caught…" she shook her head, not wanting to think about it. "Turn in the others, but protect yourself."

"What? No, Zee. I'm not going to do that."

"Why not?"

"They're my friends! They're your friends! I'm one of the faces of this franchise! He won't kick me out! But he'll kick out Marth or Ike."

"Yes, they're our friends, but…" she sighed. "They almost threw Pit under the bus. Pit! An angel! How do you know they won't do that to you?"

"They won't." Link said, but now he wasn't feeling so sure. He shook himself of any self-doubt. "They're. Our. Friends. They wouldn't do that."

"Link, go tell Master Hand you're not involved or I will," she pointed to the door.

"No!" He got up out of the bed to frown at her. "What the hell, Zelda? Aren't you supposed to be the smart one?"

She crossed her arms. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"If I turn them in, I'm no worse than they are!"

She glanced away. "You're doing this for us."

"I'm not going to get kicked out. If I do…" he huffed. "Well, we both live in Hyrule anyways. It'll be fine."

She pouted. "I am still the smart one."

"Oh yeah?" He stifled a smile. "How so?"

"Because your plan is dumb. It doesn't matter if I still see you at the end of the season. You and I can't go a day without each other. You should know that."

He grinned widely, "I'm still not turning them in."

She rolled her eyes. "Then don't come crying to me when this whole operation gets blown apart."

"I will always come to you," he leaned down to give her a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."

One more chapter to go. You have permission to murder me if I don't finish it soon.