Willow 9 years old, Rye 6 years old
Time goes flying by. I always thought that people exaggerated how fast your kids grow up, but they were not kidding. Willow doesn't let me hold her hand anymore in public. I have to ask to walk her to school every morning. Most days I'll walk with Rye and let Willow walk with one or two of her friends. Willow also is part of the new chorus program they have at school. She loves it and next year Rye is going to join too. Willow loves school and is very smart. I haven't seen a grade lower than an A for her yet. Rye is a little different. He doesn't say he hates school, but I can tell he does. He is very mature for his age, and he doesn't take much interest in things boys his age do. He loves the woods. When we go out together in the afternoons that is when he is happy. No matter what we are doing, he will always have a look of amazement and a grin gracing his lips, the same grin that Willow sports while she is baking with Peeta.
I have also noticed that snares come naturally to Rye. He can see slight unbalances that make the difference between have a rabbit or no rabbit. On our trips, he always amazes me. He gets quiet for a little while and just looks at everything around him. Then he will say something like, "mom the wind is blowing to much the animals will smell us," or he will spot special plants from ten feet away. Once he got poison ivy and it was not a pleasant experience for him. Now he can decipher it without looking twice.
Rye learns from experience and making mistakes, but Willow learns easier from a book. She loves to read and she is always writing little poems for Peeta and I. They always have a small drawing on them and most times, they are about Pumpkin.
That cat is like no other cat. Like right now I'm sitting on a stool in the kitchen and Pumpkin is sitting up right licking it's paws. I have never seen anything like it before. Willow told me before she left for school to make sure I give Pumpkin something extra for lunch because he didn't bite her ear while she was sleeping last night. Usually the cat will nibble on her ears until she wakes up and pets her. I can tell when she does this because Willow is extremely difficult to wake up in the morning. I was hoping since we opened the windows this spring the cat would figure out to go outside and be a real cat, but no such luck.
I get off my perch and get the cat some left over chicken. Pumpkin swallows it in under two bites. I really don't know how this cat isn't over weight yet.
I slip on my boots and shut the door behind me. As I'm walking down the path towards town, Haymitch is walking toward me, not a stager in his step.
"Hello Haymitch," I mumble and keep walking the other way. I hear the gravel crunch under his boot as he turns on his heel and does an awkward brisk walk to catch up with me.
"Hey there sweetheart, and where might you being going this fine day," he says in a forced up beat tone.
"To the bakery until the kids get there."
"Mind if I join you?"
` "Doesn't sound like I have any other option," I mumble.
We walk in silence to the bakery besides the occasional grunt from Haymitch. His knees have been giving him trouble for some time, and I'm thinking of making him a cane.
The bell over the front door announces our arrival and Peeta comes out from behind the counter. "Hey Katniss," he says and gives me a kiss. I hear Haymitch gag and give him a nice shot to the shoulder.
"Still treating us like kids," I huff and Peeta laughs and shakes his head.
"You two care for some lemon squares? I made a little extra by accident," Peeta offers. We both nod and slide into the booth closet to the window. Peeta carries out a tray filled up with at least two dozen of the lemon squares.
"You said you made some extra by accident?" I raise my eyebrows and he ducks his head.
"Fine I made them for you," he admits and takes a seat next to me. I take the yellow square covered in powdered sugar and as always, it is delicious.
"So Haymitch what did you come here for?" Peeta ask him.
"I was wondering how you two have been. I haven't seen you two for awhile thought I make sure everything is peachy in family land."
"We're fine Haymitch," I answer but he just holds up his hand.
"I want to know how you are mentally," he says pointing to his own head. I look over at Peeta and he tenses up. Haymitch also has his gaze on Peeta.
"We're fine right Peeta?" I say fading out into a whisper. He looks down at his fidgeting hands. I can't even remember the last time he had a flashback. I don't understand what Haymitch is insinuating.
"I….The other day I had a flashback," he mumbles. I find his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.
"That's fine, but why didn't you tell me. I mean what happened was it bad?"
He takes a deep breath and says," I was in the back with Robert. A wasp came in through the hole in the screen door and I lost it. I don't want to tell you what I saw, I really don't. I didn't hurt him or break anything I just tensed up for twenty minutes. When I came around I was sitting on the floor and Robert was trying to talk me out of it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I just didn't want you to think I was relapsing or something."
I look over at Haymitch. "How did you know about this?"
"Boy called after it happened. He needed someone to talk to that would understand. I just think you should know about this. It's not just about keeping you safe anymore. It's about keeping the little ones safe too," he scolds and this hurts Peeta. The last thing I need is for Peeta to doubt his ability of controlling himself around the kids.
Peeta gets up and heads to the back. I shoot Haymitch a deadly glare. "Thank you for your help," I spit and follow Peeta to the back.
I find him hunched over the table with his back towards me. He doesn't know I'm here until I wrap my arms around his waist and lie my head between his shoulder blades. He relaxes but I can tell he is crying. "Peeta," I whisper and move around to his side.
"Peeta talk to me," I coax. He wipes his eyes and looks down at me. My heart shatters at the look in his eyes. I haven't seen this look since before the war. The look he gave me after I told him it was all an act. "Peeta this doesn't change anything. You know that right. This is the first flashback in years. I never expected you to do this well, ever. Besides, you would never hurt us. Just please don't cry," I whisper.
He throws his arms around me and buries his face in my hair. I just hold him and wait for him to come to me. I just wait for him to break the silence. Eventually he does.
"I saw myself kill Willow and Rye. I saw myself choking them, choking them! What kind of father sees himself kill his kids? Then the worst thing was I made you watch and I heard myself call you a mutt and then I went after you and I just remember you begging me not to do it," he chokes and starts to cry even harder. I rub his back just to remind him that I'm not going any where.
He cries himself dry and I lead him to a chair in the corner. I sit in his lap and never loosen my grip on him.
"Peeta," I finally whisper. "You can't worry about that stuff you saw. You breaking down or shutting us out would let him win. We can't let that happen can we. We need you and you are the best father in the world. Do you understand me? We love you way too much Peeta. I love you too much for this to affect us."
He nods his head and I gently kiss his forehead. "They are going to be here soon. I'm going to go to the woods with Rye while you and Willow bake. You will be fine," I assure him and climb out of his lap. I offer him my hand and pull him up and into a kiss.
"Thank you," he mumbles.
"Just don't let Haymitch be the first one you tell next time." This gets him to smile a little.
"That sounds fair to me."
After that, he got himself together and started to get out ingredients for some type of cake. I should know what type by now, but I really can't tell the difference. The kids come here from school both of them starving. Peeta gives them each two cookies while Willow rambles about everything going on at school. Rye looks slightly annoyed and I can tell he wants to go, but I want to listen to the rest of Willow's story about art class. It's ends up being that Willow was voted best painter in the class and Peeta is very proud of that.
Rye gets off his stool and shuffles over to me. I look down at him and he asks me, "Mommy can we go now?"
"Sure thing," I answer him. I give Willow a kiss on the cheek, which she pretends to rub off, and Peeta a quick kiss that receives a round of 'ewes' from the kids. I tell him that we will be back for dinner no later. Rye follows me out the back door and once we get to the gate I finally ask, "What's bothering you?"
"Nothing," he mumbles and keeps his eyes focused on the ground.
"Come on buddy something is wrong. Don't make me tickle it out of you," I threatened.
"No," he says and tries to run away. I catch up to him easily and grab him around the waist. I start to tickle his sides and I don't stop until his laughter is uncontrollable.
"Alright now tell me. If you don't tell me I'll get Daddy to figure it out or I'll ask your sister," I say as I get to the hollow log containing my bow and arrows. I decided to move it back out here because when Rye starts to learn how to shoot I would rather not have one at the house.
Rye plops down next to me. "I don't like school. I want to stay home and go out in the woods every day with you."
I sit down next to him and wrap my arm around him. "I'm sorry, but you have to go to school. Why don't you like it? Don't you have some friends that you like to see every day?"
"I guess, but the older kids talk about us." This really catches my attention.
"Do they make fun of you?" I ask him. He shakes his head no.
"They just point at sissy and me. I saw it when we had lunch today."
"Oh, well just try to ignore them," I offer him but I know it won't make much difference. If he has noticed it now he won't be able not to. I remember when people would look at me differently after my father died. Most with pity others with awe because they knew I went under the fence.
"Okay, but Mommy are we different? I don't know any other Daddy's with plastic legs," he says. I run my fingers through his short hair. I sometimes wish he wasn't so observant, but he is and I just hope he doesn't observe to much to soon.
I guess we are very different, but he can't know that yet. He can't know that his parents are two of the most famous people in the whole country. I just have to explain this right to him so he can understand without going into detail. I don't want to lie and say that we aren't different. I can't lie to him like that. I take a deep breathe and say, "Rye we are different, but everyone is a little different. No one is the same. Like how you have blonde hair and I have brown hair. We are different, but that doesn't mean we should be treated different. Just don't worry about the kids at school. They don't matter because I love you, Willow loves you, Daddy loves you, and a bunch of other people love you too. We are the ones that matter. Does that make you feel better?"
"I guess," he says. I stand up and pull him up with me.
"Now how about some hunting," I grin and he finally cracks a smile.
"Okay Mommy, let's go."
We both check the whole snare line and I manage to kill two squirrels. Over the last couple of years, I have taught Rye how to walk in my footsteps. He steps exactly where I do and when he does this I could almost forget that he is with me.
On the walk home Rye is in a much better mood then earlier. He tells me some jokes he learned from his friend Sean. Most are corny, but some are funny. We get home and I can smell dinner cooking from the front door. Rye runs in the kitchen to Peeta and I follow him. Rye jumps into his arms and clings to him like a monkey, while I sit down at the table next to Willow. She is working on some homework, and seems to be stuck on a math problem. It looks like simple multiplication that's about all the math I know. I help Willow with the rest of her homework and Rye helps Peeta with dinner. Willow finishes her problems and sets the table with me.
We eat the beef and pasta that Peeta made. I force Rye to eat some of his vegetables then he can go play with his toys. Willow joins Rye and together they make up a game with his toy cars. Peeta and I clean up the dishes and talk about our day. Since we spent most of it together, the only thing we really talk about is his baking time with Willow and my hunting time with Rye. Apparently, Willow has a secret that she wouldn't tell Peeta. He even gave her another cookie and she wouldn't budge.
"Really not even for a cookie," I ask him again.
"Not even for a cookie," he tells me again.
"Well, Rye was upset about school."
"Really what happened? He did seem off when he was at the bakery. I figured it was just because he wanted to go to the woods," Peeta says wiping down the counter.
"Yeah well I guess some of the older kids where pointing at Willow and him at lunch. He noticed them talking about them and he thought that they are different then other kids because you have a fake leg."
"Oh," Peeta says hurt.
"But I told him that everyone is different and he shouldn't worry about those kids. He seemed better after that, but I that's all we can really do."
"Yeah I guess so," Peeta says. I walk over to him and he opens his arms for me. He wraps me up in a tight embrace and kisses my forehead.
"I wish that we really were normal though," I whisper.
"I know, but again nothing we can do about it now."
The rest of the night, we spend together. Willow, Rye, and Peeta wrestle together until Rye bumps his head and then Peeta says they should stop. We both take them up stairs and make sure they are cleaned up for bed. I tuck Willow in while Peeta tucks in Rye. Every night we both take one at a time and then alternate, usually saying good night a second time together.
I fluff Willow's pillows and make sure she has her teddy bear. Once she is settled I ask, "What's your secret?" She blushes and rolls away from me. "Come on you can tell me."
She rolls back over and says, "I like this boy."
I can't help but smile, already a romantic like Peeta. "Who?"
"His name is Max," she answers me. Max is Thom's son. This is sweetest thing my little girl has her first crush.
"Do you talk to him?"
"No," she says quickly.
"Well you should maybe you two could be friends."
"Okay."
"Okay, good night. I love you," I say and give her forehead a kiss.
"Love you too, Mommy," she says.
I get up and head down the hall to Rye's room. When I walk in Peeta is sitting on the edge if his bed and I can tell Rye is about to drift off. I quick tell him good night and that I love him. Peeta and I both leave his room and go back to Willow's. Peeta bids her good night and then we go to our room. As we are changing, I tell Peeta about Willow's secret.
"No she can't like him. So is only nine," he protests. I laugh at that coming from him.
"This is coming from my husband who has loved me since he was five. Peeta really it's just a crush," I tell him and climb into bed.
He slides in next to me and pulls me on top of him. He gives me a nice hard kiss then says, "I think we both know how dangerous those crushes can be."
"Yeah well there's no stopping it now. She is probably already a goner," I tease him.
"Yep probably let's just hope he can't sing."
"We can only hope," I grin and he kisses me again. "I would like to do less talking now," I whisper.
"I'm fine with that," he says.
Sorry bout the delay. I have been very busy, and I don't know how much I am going to update until the end of the school year. The next chapter will be the big one! Thank you reading and I will see you all next time! Thanks again and let me know what you think! I love your reviews!