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I would like to thank Cheryl Grant for pointing out that I posted the same chapter twice (Oopsie). Thank you so much (:
Beta'd by SecretEmpath and proof-read by Rebelgirl22. Thank you. XO
Bella POV
"Bella?" Esme called softly.
"Yes."
"Come with me for a walk?" she asked.
I peeked at Edward, he was humming his new composition to me; he looked over at Esme and said something too low for my human ears to pick up. I frowned at him, hating that I was kept out of loop.
He sheepishly looked at me and nudged me in Esme's direction. I quickly got up and stumbled towards her. She held my palm in both of her hands and guided me to their lawn, walking towards her nursery- a tiny shed that Emmett had built for her to fulfill her nurturing and caring side.
We walked through the tiny shed, my arms still sandwiched between both of hers when she turned towards me. Her soft eyes blazing with love and adoration. She hugged me tightly to her before pulling me at arm's length.
"Bella. Thank you so much. You have brought so much joy into our lives. Edward is so happy these days. I was always worried about him. He was always so alone, but now he has you to share his existence with. I'm so glad he finally found his mate. You are without a doubt the best thing that has happened to him. I don't know how to thank you sweetie, but always know that you are now my daughter too and I love you with all my heart"
Tears were flowing down my eyes; I quickly brushed them on the sleeve of my shirt, sniffling loudly. "Thank you Es-...Mom" I said and hugged her tightly.
…
"Jill." Emmett boomed. He picked me up and spun me around in rapid circles, almost making me puke my lunch all over his face.
"Whoa. You look green." He said while putting me down and taking two steps away, still holding my shoulder to steady me.
"Emmett!" I screeched after making sure that my lunch was not making a re-appearance. He cast a wary glance behind my back before taking a step away. Confused, I looked behind me to see that Ali was snickering softly while extending a baseball bat in my direction. I picked up the baseball bat and kept a firm grip on it.
"What have I told you about spinning me like this shortly after I have consumed food?" I seethed while swinging the bat back and forth in a threatening manner.
My clumsy side made an appearance and I tumbled over while making a wide arc with the bat. Thankfully strong hands caught me before my face could connect with the floor. I was flushed and embarrassed. I wanted the beautiful carpet to tear apart and swallow me.
Beside me Emmett was guffawing loudly, his entire bulky frame shook with his laughter. He, being the one to pick me up, still had his hands on my shoulders sending tremors though my body because of his maniacal laughter.
I swallowed my pride and ignored the entire incident before asking, "Jill?"
"Jack and Jill went up the hill….Jill came tumbling after" he sang as if that made all the sense in the world. A small smile crept over my face looking over the big buffoon that was my brother.
…
"Bella." Alice called in her sing-song voice making me cringe into Edwards's arms. He laughed at me while pulling himself away and giving me a chaste kiss before streaking out of the room.
"Coward." I screamed after him. I cowered back into the couch as I heard the devil's tiny footsteps approaching the door and slowly twisting the handle. She had planned some stupid two-day shopping trip to god-knows where. Somehow even Charlie had agreed to it, making me doubt if my father even loves me. I had been postponing our leaving by hiding in Edward's room, making Ali mad. She wants me to start getting ready. Pfft!
It was like a horror movie scene. The door slowly creaked open and the tiny ghost wafted through the air before softly landing in my lap making me scream and flail wildly.
Her soft tinkering laugh was accompanied by various degrees of laughter from all around the house.
"Oh Bella! You know you love me." she sang before kissing me on the cheek and blurring out the door.
"Ten minutes Bella." her voice wafted through the room. I stuck my tongue out at the door, earning me a tinkering laugh from somewhere in the house.
….
"Only you Bella." Carlisle laughed softly while checking the minor bump on my head, making me blush. The glass was so clean, I bumped right into it. Forgive me for not having their superb vision. My forehead stamped on the beautiful glass as Edward slowly pulled me towards him and carried me to Carlisle.
"All fine." he said before lifting my chin and softly looking into my eyes. Beautiful topaz into my boring dull brown.
"Don't be embarrassed. You are a part of the family now. My daughter. I will always be there to tend to your...unfortunate accidents" his lips twitched at the end, but his love for me was evident in his eyes. I hugged him and softly kissed his cheek. While walking out of his study, my toe got caught in the ledge making me lurch towards the marble floor. He used those superb abilities of his to gather me before I fell. After I was steady on my feet, he looked at me and said "Always."
…
I tightly shut my eyes, forcing my brain to not remember them. They left me. It's no point thinking about them. They never loved me, all of it was fake. I fisted my hands, my nails digging into my skin hard enough to draw a little blood. But the pain was welcomed as it stopped the torrent of memories, 'their' memories.
A small part of me didn't want to forget them, I know I wouldn't, but thinking about my best moments with them always brought a smile to my face. Feeling nostalgic was not my thing, I hated it. I opened my palms to examine the scrape, it was gone. All healed. Only two droplets of smeared blood were visible but not the source.
It didn't surprise me, nana had told me about the healing capabilities. It was nice but sadly I didn't trip anymore. Where were my super awesome quirks when I was a frail-clumsy-danger-magnet? I huffed.
"Izzy?" my nana called softly, her eyes darting to my face and then my hands. It was her round-about way of asking if I was alright.
"I'm fine, nana." I replied, but the worry did not leave her eyes.
She motioned for me to accompany her to the porch and settled down on her recliner while patting at the arm. I got settled on the cushioned arm while my nana ran her fingers through my curls. The stress left my body immediately.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
"I guess." I answered, unsure.
She did not ask me again but continued combing my hair. After a few minutes I was composed enough to launch into my long-ass story.
"My boyfriend and his family left me." I started easy, not wanting to outright say they were vampires.
"Hmm." she said.
"They were my family too, and they knew I depended on them. I loved them all and they left without even saying goodbye, not so much as a -fuck-off." she didn't reprimand me for my choice of words, I was thankful.
"And?" she asked. My nana knew me so well. She knew I was hesitating. Oh forget it! I should just tell her.
"They are vampires." I murmured softly, hoping that she did not hear it, but no such luck. Her hand halted their movements and her breath caught in her throat. I turned and faced her, there was fear in her eyes, and I quickly explained more, "They are not like 'her'. They don't even drink from humans, they hunt animals. Their family patriarch is a doctor, a very good one." And just why the fuck was I defending them? Oh Yeah, for Nana's fragile heart.
Some of the fear left her eyes and it was quickly being replaced by anger. Fuck!
"Uh...Uh...I actually didn't know about them...uh...but I found out later...uh...and sorta developed feelings for Edward…met his family..all nice...left" I stumbled through my explanation.
"IZZY." my nana called in a high voice, bringing me out of my crazy haze.
"Uh...Yeah?" I asked like a moron. I felt like banging my head against the wall, but the railing was nearest. Finally I settled for fisting my hand and banging it twice on my forehead.
"Explain." she said.
That's how I went into the explanation, barely stopping for breath. I told her everything, from how I saw them for the first time to how Edward saved me. I told her about the family, the baseball match, and the encounter with the nomads and my subsequent injuries. I earned a sharp glare from my nana when I told her about how I wanted to be changed. I lowered my head and mumbled nonsense for a while then.
"Dazzling…beautiful….mmm….family" I stammered.
Nana held my hand and said two words that made the anxiety dissappear, "I understand."
"You do?" I questioned in a meek voice.
"Supernatural beings are alluring, everything about them pulls you in." she said with a timid smile.
Everything about me draws you in.
I shook my head to dispel Edward's words. Was it really dazzling or did I truly love him?
Sure, he was attractive but it was more addiction or obsession than love. I loved who he was, not him. His difference is what pulled me in. I felt special about being able to garner the attention of such a creature. I have been neglected as a child and as a teen. I have never talked to many people and nobody has ever shown any special interest in me. But when I moved to forks, I was able to draw in the attention of the most aloof family. I know it was my blood but, even still, I felt special. I was a part of a family that others wished they could talk to.
I had never had a boyfriend. Suddenly, I had the chance to date Edward, the 'prettiest' of them all. For the first time in my life I felt important; I didn't just blend in, I was at the very center. Esme hovered over me, Edward would never leave me alone, and Ali would drag me around the school or at her home. I wasn't alone. They were interested in me, they loved me.
It mustn't make much sense to others but it made the perfect sense to me.
I listened to Edward, did as he asked fearing he would leave me if I didn't oblige. I couldn't be alone again. I tolerated the make-overs that Ali planned. I tried to make amends with Rosalie, even though she was nothing but a bitch to me. I wanted them to accept me, love me and finally change me so that I could be with them forever. I genuinely cared for the family. I termed my obsession and infatuation with Edward as love, but I am not sure it ever was.
I was in love with the idea of being in love. I wanted to have a boyfriend, a loving family who genuinely cared for me. I was infatuated with them.
I was like a little kid at a candy store, with the option of living at the store forever. Yeah! Analogies are not my strong point.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I am talking to myself. I shook my head like a wet dog, or maybe a cat. Fuck!
"Go." nana laughed.
I looked at her with wide eyes. So...apparently I am not the only crazy one. Yay! I have company.
"Scurry away." nana said.
"Huh?" I murmured.
"Go. For. A. Run." nana spelled clearly as if talking to a loon. I guess I am one, I shrugged.
With a swift kiss to her cheek, I was up and running. One leap and I was in my panther form.
Ah! Running was so freeing. I felt like a fucking cat on high – going and shrieking in about every corner of the house. Haha. I went back to my pond and zig-zagged between the trees to just show-off a little bit. Show-off to fucking whom? My sarcastic side asked.
Rawr! Was my reply.
I will finally get to see my reflection.
I bounded off towards my clearing and skidded to a stop near the pond. This time I did not waste time and leaned forward to look at my reflection. WHOA!
I look so beautiful. My eyes are a lighter brown, I wonder why? I can only see my face, maybe I can shift in front of a mirror to get a full effect or I can ask nana to sketch me, if she is willing.
Aw! I mentally gushed. Are those my whiskers? I had a tiny button nose and my ears were perked up. I felt like kissing my reflection. I looked regal but my thoughts are more dog-like, I laughed.
My eyes seemed to shine. They drew you in. I felt mesmerized looking at myself. Now I can understand why nana was so surprised when she first saw me in my panther form.
I leaned in further, slowly my neck came into view. WOW! It was so slender, pretty, and jet black. I finally managed to rest on my hind legs..um..paws. Whatever. So that I could see most of myself reflected back in the water.
Everything seemed so surreal. This whole situation was surreal. But here I am – in my panther form. 'Regal' that's what I'd said. I looked fucking majestic.
I pulled back, but I seemed to be in a daze, my panther self seemed to be flashing in front of my eyes. I don't know how, but I managed to reach back home and shift back to my human self, picking up the sundress adeptly hidden in the backyard on the way to my room.I hoped that nana would be there. I didn't even feel like using my intensified senses to locate her. But I needed to see her, ask her if she would sketch me in my panther form.
A note was taped to the tiny mirror located behind my bedroom door.
"Gone shopping. You need more clothes. Will also pick up some groceries on my way back home. Be Good"
While turning back to enter the room, I caught a reflection of myself in the mirror, I moved closer to look at myself properly. I felt so dull, my human self was not so entrancing as my Panther self, but on closer inspection I could find a few similarities. My eyes were not as dark but not very light too. It looked like a flame was ignited behind them, making the boring dull brown come to life.
A slow smile spread across my face. I looked beautiful, although there were not many changes but my super eyes could pick them all. The roundness of my cheeks was gone, giving them a slender look, and a natural pout graced my lips. The tiny flecks on my cheeks, which would irritate me to no end, were all gone.
It looked like I had matured. Matured from a girl into a woman. Cheesy I know but that's how it was. And I loved the new me.
I reluctantly turned away from the mirror and plopped down on the bed with the note still clutched in my hand. I felt like I was in some sort of a trance.
I fucking dazzled myself. I mentally snickered.
I lay down on my back, staring at my cream-colored ceiling. I could easily spot the tiny cracks and the chips of paint. I picked out the pores and lulled myself into sleep counting them.
….
Crashing Waves,
Molding stones.
Flowing Life,
Soothing tones.
Heels Embedded,
Soft Sand toes.
Roaring laughter,
Splashing Feet.
Crimson hue,
flickering beat.
With the end of the pen stuck in my mouth, I contemplated the next line. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't come up with anything. With a huff I set the pen and my notepad aside and rolled over to lie on my back. I groaned, I suck at writing poetry.
This is what happens when I am left alone. Nana is out shopping and apparently my mood swings do not entitle me to venture out. I blew out a puff of air, effectively dislodging a lock of my hair stuck to my nose. I looked around my room, trying to locate anything that would keep me entertained for the next few hours, while my nana shopped for clothes and groceries.
A loud bang pulled me out of my depressing thoughts. I streaked down the stairs and had the front door open in no time. There was nobody there. I looked around and inhaled deeply, I could sense a perfumed lilac smell. I followed it, but it continued into the woods.
Confused, I stopped my pursuit and ran back home, there was a pink envelope on the doorstep; it was completely covered by the lilac smell, accompanied by the smell of hay. It was a little concentrated but not unpleasant. I felt like I recognized the smell, not the lilac, but the hay smell.
I ran back to my room with the envelope clutched safely into my hand.
….
OHH! Who do you think the pink envelope is from? Review and let me know.
A sneak preview to the next chapter to all those who review. Finally :D