Chapter 10

"Evelyn? Evee?"

I slowly opened my eyes. I could hear the sleep around them crack. "Race?" I smiled.

"No, it's me, Mr. Kloppman." He stroked my check. "How ya feelin'?" he inquired.

I tried to nod, but just replied, "Fine." I thought for a few seconds and hopped up, of course, banging my head. "I hate this bed," I grumbled. He rubbed my head for me as I remembered my thoughts. "How's Racetrack doing? Is he OK? I saw…"

Kloppman cut me off, pointing to the bed beside the one I was in.

Racetrack was sitting in it, his eyes closed. His face was clean, but he sure had cuts. I knew John had got him with the knife too. I checked out my own arm and saw that I was wearing a white shirt. The sleeves were pulled up and there was a bandage on the cut. I touched it and felt pain right away. Duh. I looked back at Racetrack and then at Kloppman. "Is he all right?"

I saw him swallow hard. "Uh, well, he…"

"Lie to me," I whispered, cracking a fake smile.

"Well, uh, he won't be fine."

I thought for a minute and gave him a hug. "Thanks for taking care of me Klopp."

He grinned. "Yeah, no lyin' now, Racetrack got cut up pretty bad. He got it right in da stomach. Der was blood ev…" He stopped himself, seeing my eyes die down. "But he still had da strength ta crawl ova' ta youse and see how ya was."

My eyes watered. "I hate him. Where is he? Where's John?" I got out of the bed, wincing with pain. Kloppman gently helped me as I knelt beside the bed Race was in. Kloppman was avoiding the question. "Well?"

Kloppman shook his head. "He, uh… he's, uh, dead." He wiped some hair from Racetrack's head.

"How did he…"

He said, almost too quickly, "After he saw Race comfort you and after all'a da guys jumped him… He trew all da guys off'a hisself. Den he went ta da winda' and jus'… jumped out. I mean, it ain't dat far down, but it can definitely kill ya. Da guys said he jumped like he thought he'd make it, so…"

"I can't believe he killed himself." Kloppman was making it seem like it wasn't suicide. I chuckled, "And it was all for love. And for me. Ha."

"Well, you're a…"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I left the guy."

"But you fell in love."

I looked at Racetrack and immediately felt stupid. I was acting stupid. I was sounding stupid. I was stupid this whole time. I DID fall in love. John and I weren't in love. He was crazy for me, but I wasn't for him. And he didn't understand that. "But I was the one who killed John then," I whispered.

Kloppman shook his head. "He really did tink it was an easy way down. Or he just felt like the best thing ta do was jump. He definitely wasn't da type'a guy ta kill himself, from what I heard about dis guy," he explained.

He was right. John was too into himself, but he still loved me, at least I think so. I kissed Race's cheek, which was cold and smooth. "I love you," I whispered in his hear. I tried forcing John out of my head, but he kept popping back up. I felt responsible for his death, but maybe I was sounding too conceded now.

Kloppman stood up and walked to the door. He stopped and turned around. "If ya need me, I'll be down at da front desk." He turned the knob and added, "And it ain't ya fault kid, all right?"

I nodded, still not sure. I closed my eyes and dropped my head on Racetrack's stomach, crying puddles of tears. I sniffled and slowly picked my head up, hoping only to see Racetrack open his beautiful eyes. But they stayed closed. I took his hand and held it. "I'm sorry I didn't say I loved you when I knew I did. I'm sorry I didn't show my love for you as much as I should. I'm sorry I acted so weird when you said you wanted to marry me. I want to marry you. I love you, with more than just my heart. I love you… And I'm just so sorry for all…"

He twitched. "You still say sorry too much," he murmured.

"Race? Race? Are you all right?" I let go of his hand and stroked his cheek again with my now cold fingers. "Were you eavesdropping on my sad time?" I asked him, trying to sound angry.

He chuckled and then let out a small cry of pain. Before I could say anything, he assured me, "I'm OK. Just a little…" he trailed off.

"Oh, my sweet Race, I really…"

He cut me off, "So when do youse wanna get married?" he inquired, now opening his eyes a sliver.

My mouth fell open slowly and I shrugged slightly. I shook my head as I filled my thoughts with a sad future, which was definitely not what Racetrack and I would have. I'm doing it again. I rolled my eyes, which he caught.

"Or maybe youse don't wanna…" He sighed, almost too deeply.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed, "I was just disagreeing with my thoughts."

"So your thoughts don't wanna get married?"

I slapped his arm playfully and he flinched. "I'm sorry," I cried, caressing his arm. "I'm not used to this whole… pain thing," I whispered, looking down. "And… I do wanna marry you Racetrack."

He smiled, showing many teeth. "I'd get down on a knee and do it da right way if I could…"

"I understand, and I don't mind." I leaned over his beaten body and kissed him. His mouth sure hadn't gotten hurt. I grinned as I pulled away.

He now had his eyes open wider. He studied my face and stated, "How ya doin'?"

I swallowed as I remembered what had happened to me. I touched my face gingerly and then made my way slowly up to the gash from the fall and the sideboard. It still hurt badly, and when I touched the bump, I felt myself get woozy. And for just a second, I didn't know who was sitting in the bed in front of me. "Who?" I started and shook my head, pulling my hand away. "I think I need to get some sleep."

Racetrack seemed to immediately feel better. He sat up and winced, then he pulled his covers down and scooted over. He patted the space beside himself and I hesitated. Then I climbed in the bed and wrapped my hand around his arm. "I love you," he whispered as my eyes closed and I fell into a deep sleep. Deeper than I thought I'd be in.

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