A/N: Still moving forward with the story. I'm writing but not really getting around to getting online. I've no idea why. Anywho, hope you like this installment & as always, thanks for the comments and accolades! Everyone rocks! Next chapter up soon. :) Oh yes, and the portion in italics is always a flashback or memory.

Disclaimer (casual): I totally don't own Jericho or any characters from the show. This is just my toybox & the only things I own are my own original characters.

Disclaimer (formal): Jericho, all characters & canon fictional locations therein and associated trademarks are the sole intellectual property of CBS Paramount Television, CBS Studios, Inc., Junction Entertainment & Fixed Mark Prod. This work is not intended to infringe on the copyrights or trademarks held, but is solely a work of fan fiction and for diversion and amusement, not for profit.

Title: Afterburn (Chapter 10/?)

Chapter 10: Not O-Effing-Kay!

When his father was killed, it was more than Jake could take. It was far beyond the last straw and when he sat on the porch at the Richmond's he wasn't just crying for the loss of his father, he cried for all the last few months had been. For Freddie and Ana and all the people he'd tried to help but hadn't been able to save. For that girl in Iraq. For Randy Payton. For Heather.

He didn't have any more mental real estate in which to drop his grief and his coffers ran over. It wasn't long that he cried but it was necessary just the same. It wasn't long that he cried but it was necessary just the same. He rose and spoke to Hawkins on the radio and before taking his leave looked back at Emily. She was there at what seemed like the end of all things. They were outnumbered and overpowered by New Bern. This was their last stand. And when he walked over to her and kissed her, it was a thank you and I'm sorry and I love you and a goodbye all in one. He didn't think any of them was going to survive it. He hoped that he didn't and planned on not so doing. He wanted it all to end. His father's words came back to him after his return from Black Jack about why he hadn't stopped the car. He'd said he didn't know but the truth was he didn't want to admit it. The truth was that he envied Randy Payton his ability to let go. His last stand was faced with a certainty and peace that Jake had understood. He'd wanted that for himself. The atonement that came with the sacrifice had danced closely but never engaged him fully. Circumstances had kept intruding since the bombings but it looked almost, this time, like his end was near and he didn't want to fight that end any longer. If the war with New Bern and a final stand were the things that needed to be done and by some happenstance Jericho made it out, Jake still didn't want to. His father was gone. Eric would take care of their mother. He didn't have any reason to go on. Nothing left to prove.

But circumstances intervened and turned Jake's plan on its ear in the form of the military. Major Beck & the 10th Mountain division reached Jericho in time to put down the skirmish before it reached the point of no return. The Major had Jake and Constantino brought to him inside the Richmond house. He'd known from the information supplied by Col. Hoffman that Constantino was the one leading New Bern and that either Johnston Green or Gray Anderson would be in charge of Jericho. Also mentioned was a Jake Green, so when he arrived and found that Gray was away in a secure location & Johnston had been killed in the battle, the next one to find was Jake. Beck had seen men in the state these two were in before and knew how these things usually shook out. But right now, he needed to give them both the opportunity to tell their version of the truth. As he listened to them both he knew which was likely the more truthful. Jake Green. He knew then that if he could reach him he could get him to help him bring Jericho back into the civilized world. But it was clear when he took Jake aside that the young man was not interested in that task at the moment. He was spoiling for vengeance and couldn't hear anything else. The Major made note of this and while he was sympathetic felt he needed to warn him off from such a path. His telling Jake to go home to mourn and bury the dead was tempered with the assurance that order would be restored. As Jake walked off in silence, Beck only hoped that he'd heard him.

Jake took his leave. His father's body had already been taken back to town by the military and Eric had gone with their mother. He was numb. He couldn't feel much of anything except the occasional eruption of rage and even that was in some way a peace. His father was dead and Constantino was still breathing. What was right about that, he wondered. He'd heard what Beck had said but he was no more inclined to let anything go. Constantino was solely responsible for the deaths of many, including his father, the torture of Eric and ordering the murder of Heather. There was only one place he wanted to see Constantino and that was hell. He promised himself that no matter what, even if it means he died, he'd avenge his father. He couldn't accept that his father, by all accounts a good man, had died yet he of questionable character at best, was still living. The guilt he felt over it made him somewhat physically ill when he thought of it. He put it out of his mind and walked the rest of the way home. The distance didn't matter. Nothing much did any longer.

When he arrived home, the house is quiet. He mused that if he didn't know better he'd think the house itself knew his father would never walk through its doors again. He noticed his Johnston's messenger bag and coat hanging on the pegs by the door. He reached out but stopped short as his vision blurred with tears. He let his hand drop and headed for the kitchen. He washed his hands and face clean of the blood and wear of the day in the sink and dried off absently. He sighed and poured a glass of water and leaned on the sink while he drank.

He knew the water wasn't going to supply him with the solace he was looking for. He'd grown accustomed to the constant noise that resided in his head for months. Thoughts racing, past looming, problems mounting and all the while he'd moved through it all. The moments of self-reflection were almost non-existant though he remembered writing in his journal twice. He didn't think he'd ever do so again. It reminded him of her and hurt too much. There was hardly any time to sit and think about all the things that had happened let alone come to terms with them. The tasks were the thing that got him through. Activity was his friend and now it'd been taken away. Major Beck and the military had come in and taken away his task of the protection of Jericho and its citizenry and there wasn't anything he could do about it. He was glad Jericho was safe from New Bern but a feeling of uselessness was nagging at him and that was most unbearable. All he had left was making sure Constantino paid... for his father. For all of them. Nothing else mattered now.

He stared at the wall thinking about how to make his promise come to fruition. It was better than mourning. He couldn't do that. Not yet. There were things that needed to be done, he told himself. People depending on him. He had to hold it together for his mother and brother and everyone who'd loved Johnston Green in Jericho. His father would have wanted that. So lost in thought was he that he barely heard the knock at the back door. He put his glass down and went to see who it was.

"Em" he said in greeting as he opened the door to let her in.

"Hey. Your Mom and Eric are at the medical center... and when you didn't come by..." she said, searching his face and trying to meet his downcast eyes.

"Yeah. I know. I should go..." he began.

"No. It's okay. Your Mom said she wants to stay with your father. Alone. Mary's there taking care of Eric."

He nodded slowly, "That's good."

"So I thought maybe you could use someone to take care of you too" she said as she stepped closer.

"Me? No. I'm fine" he said and took a step back.

He thought he'd break down completely if she went to hug him and he wasn't sure that if he did he'd ever make it back.

"Yeah?" her sideways glance

"Mmhmm. It's just been, um... a rough day" he managed.

"I know" she began tentatively. "Jake... it's okay for you not to be okay. You know that right? You can talk to me" she said.

His eyes met hers finally and without another word he kissed her. She responded in kind as he pulled her close to him. It was the only way he knew to get her to stop talking or pursuing the issue.

That they found themselves upstairs in his room clawing and tearing at each others clothes was no particular surprise to Emily. The sex between them had always been something that even in the worst of their times, both had remembered fondly. Often it was the only thing that got them through the bad. He hadn't been her first or her last but she couldn't say he wasn't one of her best. This felt like where they'd been heading since she saw him the day he came back to town. They'd gone forward and gone back and that comforted her and made her happier than anything else. She matched his urgency as they tripped over jeans and shoes discarded and slipped her legs around him easily as he backed her up against the wall. She dug her nails into the back of his neck and relaxed into their familiar rhythm. When it was over, Emily felt a calm and satisfaction that was more than just the orgasm she'd had. When they stumbled over to the bed and collapsed onto it, her smile was at having him back again. All the things she'd worried that she'd lost or would never have were once again right in front of her.

"Well, even though I think your timing was a bit odd, this was just what I needed... seems like you did too" she whispered as she smiled and looked over at him.

"We'll see" Jake said quietly to no one in particular as he stared at the ceiling.

He wasn't thinking about what they'd done or what, if anything, it had meant. He wasn't thinking about his father. He wasn't thinking about what had happened today or anything from the last few months. As he laid there he concentrated on the feeling of a breeze moving over his sweat slicked skin and the cooling sensation it left. The taste of Emily still on his lips hinted at something he should remember but he didn't care. It would all come back soon enough but this moment was nice. It was more than nice, it was necessary.

Camp Liberty, NE...

Awaking suddenly and in fear had become too much the norm for Heather. She kept thinking that the next time she'd catch herself and realize that her nightmares were simply that and nothing more but that wasn't happening. She found that she was stuck in a pattern that left her terrified and when she realized that it was a mere reminder and not her current reality her anger overall was renewed.

That's where she was again after the sedative she'd been given wore off. She sat up in bed and after looking around and remembering where she was, tried to calm down. Her talent for pushing aside the memories of the past had been tested and become more and more honed over time. It wasn't a direction she'd gone in willingly but had done so out of necessity. For months she'd seen things that no one could fix and been in situations that no one could save her from. She saw so many suffering that all she could do was continue to bear up as best she could. But there were times that she wanted to break down and cry. She wanted to stand in the middle of a room and just scream until she couldn't any longer. She was angry about a lot of things that had happened and had to all but put out of her mind the actual event that put this world in which she now moved into motion.

The September attacks had robbed everyone and while she'd retained her high level of optimism and belief in the inherent goodness of people immediately after, that had been greatly eroded in response to recent events. She didn't wish she hadn't gone to New Bern but she certainly was angry with herself for having been so naive as to not have considered the possible dangers and peril that awaited her. She knew she'd do it all again without question or second thought but she promised herself that she wouldn't again be caught out that way. The only thing that lessened the pain was the ultimate good that had been done when Colonel Hoffman had sent troops to Jericho. She'd felt confident that should they arrive in time, they would save the people she loved.

Her initial wish to return immediately home was less urgent now. She was acutely aware of the fact that she wasn't the same person any longer. She knew she couldn't go back to who she'd been but she could use a little time to normalize. Even with all that had happened she had no wish to burden anyone back home nor did she want to talk about the things that had happened to her.

"Maybe being sent off to Cheyenne isn't really the worst thing in the world right now" she said aloud.

She looked her room and swung her legs over the side to climb down taking care of the IV line she was connected to. Her bed was more comfortable than anything shed slept on in ages but she needed to stretch her legs. She had a lot to think about and about a million questions that she needed answered but she didn't quite know who she could trust. Marc crossed her mind and she debated his trustworthiness. Something about him made her want to trust that he was just as he seemed but she didn't want to be disappointed or hurt by misjudging him. But she also had to admit that she hadn't any other contacts or allies here. Colonel Hoffman had been nice enough to send troops to Jericho but after she'd noticed the change of the flag, she didn't feel so comfortable asking him about it. She'd learned the lesson that positions of power were not necessarily held by the benevolent, honest or fair and that circumstances and its changes could bring out the unexpected and the worst in some people.

'Best to bide my time and temper my tongue' she thought of something her grandmother used to often say.

The memory was bittersweet, serving to remind Heather of how alone and apart she really felt.

Months ago...

"So what are you doing in Jericho teaching little kids?" Jake asked her as he helped her reorganize her classroom after her students had been dismissed.

"Why shouldn't I be in Jericho teaching little kids?" she asked and glanced at him over her shoulder while she cleaned the black board.

"Umm, possibly because your degree says you should be off doing something huge?" he teased.

"Well, the degree is one thing but your heart is sometimes in a different place at the end of your journey than where you began. At least, that's what happened to me" she answered with a shrug as she continued to clean.

"You found out your heart's desire was teaching?" he asked and glanced back over at her.

"No, not strictly. I found out my family was wider than I'd thought originally and remaining close to them was more important to me than other things" she said and began on organizing her student's cubbies.

"Really?" he asked and started at the opposite end of the cubby row.

"Yeah. My grandpa died my senior year of highschool and I was going to stay closer to home for college but my grandma wasn't having any of it. She said I had to go and not just for myself but also because it would have been what my parents and grandpa would have wanted also. For me to go chasing down my dreams. So, I did. And I loved it. Every minute of my time away at school was amazing. I certainly made more friends there than I had ever in my entire life and it was wonderful. But, my grandmother was sick and she didn't tell me until I'd returned to school for my last year. I wanted to come home right then but she wouldn't let me. She said I needed to see my education through and finish, so I did. And as soon as I was done, I came home. Oddly enough, the job market in New Bern wasn't really breaking for MechEn, so I took a job teaching middle school instead. It turned out, I was pretty good at it and it still allowed me plenty of time to take care of my grandma. A few months before she died, I'd accepted an elementary teaching assignment in Jericho. And after she died, I just needed a change from New Bern. It was filled with a few too many memories, both good and bad. So, I sold my grandparent's ranch and moved to Jericho. I made sense, I had a best friend in Emily and I absolutely adored my students, not to mention Mr. Rennie and the other teachers that I'd come to know. They'd all become my family and I realized that I'd rather be close to them than anywhere else in the world" she said as they met in the middle.

"So..." Jake said with a smile and a look she couldn't really place but woke up the butterflies in her stomach.

"So... I guess that's what I'm doing here" she managed to say.

"So I guess I'm glad and lucky" he replied.

"Hey, Heather" Marc greeted as he came in to check on her and noticed she was crying, "Are you okay?"

The question pulled her out of her thoughts and she realized that her face was damp with tears as she brought her hands up to wipe them away.

"I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Are you sure? Can I get you anything?" he asked and handed her a small box of tissues.

"No. Thanks. It's okay. I'm okay" she replied and accepted the box.

"Alright. I'll come back later" he said and turned to leave.

"No. Please don't go."

"Are you sure? It's not a problem, really. Things have been crazy for months and I haven't met anyone yet who hasn't needed to take a moment now and then."

"I'm sure. I have some questions I wanted to ask... and you're the only person that I've kind of talked to, so..."

"Sure. Ask me anything" he replied and pulled up a chair to sit.

Heather regarded him for a moment. She needed to decide now, to trust him or not. His openness reminded her of things she'd lost and she wondered who he was and how he'd retained that given where he worked. She didn't detect any malice in his blue eyes so she forged on.

"Thanks. Well, first off, what's happened to the flag?"