Beta: Tegthe
A/N: I've had a couple of questions of how old the boys are - I think this takes a place about 1-2 years before Yuki actually arrives. And before anyone asks, I'm aware that in manga, everyone calls Takashiro "Takashiro-sama", but I've never been a fan of using honorifics in fics. So I'm working my way around them. (Plus, I think that hundreds of years ago, they would've spoken to him with even more respect.)
I was also asked what Hotsuma has been doing - well, I think Takashiro answer to that here.
And we're already at chapter 10! (And still have a long way to go - good or bad, I'm not sure. :')) Hope you enjoy, don't forget to let me know that you exist (aka review, if you will). Long A/N is long, now off you go with the chapter!

Chapter 10 – Fall apart

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

The white world was covered in crimson. Snow was falling from the sky, painting the world white, but on the ground where it lay, the white color of snow was overpowered by crimson red.

Blood. It was everywhere, covering the snow, silently proving how tough the battle had been this time.

Shusei was on his knees on the ground, the paired swords lying close. He was next to his unconscious partner, checking the pulse, praying that the gods wouldn't take his partner away from him, not like this.

For once, his prayers were answered – the pulse was there, even if it was faint. The amount of Hotsuma's wounds – bruises, deep, deep cuts – was alarming, just like the amount of crimson snow around him.

"Shusei! Hotsuma!"

The youngster's gaze snapped to the silver-haired boy running towards them. Just like Shusei, he was also covered in wounds, but none of them were too serious. "Thank God, you're alive."

Shusei nodded, eyes shifting back to his partner. Anyone else couldn't have known that both of them were alive – but Tsukumo could, being able to hear their heartbeat. He was the 'Ears of God', after all. "Barely."

Tsukumo nodded as well, hand coming to rest upon Hotsuma's chest, his expression full of worry. "Toko went to get Yuki and lord Takashiro."

Shusei nodded absentmindedly again, eyes briefly meeting the other boy's as his fingers ran across Hotsuma's body, trying to locate the worst wound, the one that was still bleeding, rapidly changing the color of the snow from white to red. "How are the others?"

Tsukumo's hands closed into fists. "We lost Shiba."

The brunette youngster's hands stopped for a second. Shiba was one of the strongest among them – it felt unnatural that he would've fallen, even if they had had to fight against so many Duras'. More than that, before getting separated during the battle, he and Hotsuma had fought alongside Shiba and Ayako. At that time, Shiba had taken one hit for Hotsuma, saving the younger boy's life. It hadn't been a major wound, but a wound nonetheless. Besides that, the pair had been fine – if not for a few minor cuts. After that, they had gotten separated, and now Shiba was dead.

Despite not having seen the end of the fight, Shusei couldn't help but feel that it had been partially their fault – the wound must've slowed Shiba down.

Shusei was pulled back to the moment when he lifted Hotsuma's shirt to see the worst wound – a cut on his side. Both Shusei's and Tsukumo's eyes widened in horror as they saw the wound – it was a deep, wide cut going from the blonde's side to his abdomen. It went all the way down to the bones and muscles, blood gushing out of the fresh wound, painting the snow red.

Tsukumo pulled Hotsuma's shirt downwards from his shoulder, revealing another horrendous cut there. It wasn't as long as the other one, but it was also deep, all the way to the muscles.

Those two horrendous wounds, combined with the other cuts… Shusei couldn't breathe.

That was when Toko came running, Yuki and Takashiro by her side, looking relieved to see everyone alive.

Their relieved expressions turned into horror in less than a second as they saw Hotsuma's wounds. Toko's hands flew to cover her mouth as she stopped in her tracks, not being able to move forward.

Yuki didn't waste any time as she moved next to the Zweilt pair, knees softly hitting the snow as she dropped herself down to Hotsuma's side to have a better look at his wounds. She might not have spent much time around them, but she cared for them – she was much like their mother, their lifeline.

She didn't need to examine the youth for long before an unsure word left her mouth as her eyes shifted from the unconscious youth to Shusei. "I…"

Shusei didn't need to hear the rest of the sentence. The apologizing, agonized and sad look in her golden eyes told him everything he needed to know.

The others couldn't follow so fast though. Yuki turned towards Takashiro, unsure of what to do. She wanted to try, never mind what would be the state of her own body after that, but… "It's too much", she said, voice barely above whisper.

Shusei's hands closed into fists on Hotsuma's chest as he lowered his head and squeezed his eyes shut, fighting back tears. He didn't want this to happen, not again.

Takashiro bit his lip. As he closed his eyes, he let out a sigh. This was pleasant for none of them, especially since they already lost Shiba, but there was no way they could risk Yuki. Not when the war was as flashy as it was.

"Heal him a bit", Takashiro ordered. "So that he can make it through the resurrection ceremony."

Yuki nodded, turning her attention back to Hotsuma. She put her hands above the wound on his shoulder. A warm, golden light emitted, healing the wound slowly. When she was done with the first wound, she moved to the next – she didn't heal the wounds completely, but enough to stop the flow of blood. Hotsuma wouldn't make it far, but he would make it until Takashiro would be finished with the ceremony – then Hotsuma's soul could be called back when the time would come for them to fight again.

Shusei watched Yuki work her magic, mind blank of thoughts. He didn't notice how Tsukumo got up and walked over to his sister. Shusei missed how Toko was crying against his brother's shoulder and how Tsukumo was blinking back his tears as well.

Shusei didn't cry. He was numb, couldn't feel a thing. Hotsuma would be robbed from him once again.

He didn't speak as they carried Hotsuma back to the village, to the holy building where the ceremony would take place. After they entered the building and carefully laid Hotsuma down, Toko took his hand.

"Come on, let's get your wounds healed." Her eyes were filled with tears as she spoke, sadness evident in her voice as well. Like her brother, she was battered and bruised – the battle hadn't been easy for either of them.

Shusei didn't move however, but looked at Takashiro. "My lord", he spoke up, catching the man's attention. "Could I… Is it possible for me to stay?"

It was the first time he pleaded for that – many others had begged for it as well, wanting to stay beside their partner until the end. But unlike others, Shusei had never asked for it – even if Hotsuma had usually been the one to die before him. He knew how important the ceremony was and understood that even the smallest mistake, caused by an outsider, could cause for it to go wrong and as the result, Takashiro wouldn't be able to call the Zweilt's soul back again.

Takashiro studied Shusei for a while, weighing the risks in his mind. "Yes", he finally answered, turning his back on the brunette. It was rare for Takashiro to allow attendance at the ceremony – he had made some exceptions in the past, but they were few and far between. Shusei didn't know what moved their leader enough to let him stay – as long as he stayed silent and kept out of the way of course – but he was grateful for it.

After the holy ceremony, they moved Hotsuma to another room. Shusei made the decision to stay in the room and stay beside his unconscious partner until the end. No one denied him, but the Murasame siblings – Tsukumo and Toko – asked if he was sure and if he wanted company. Shusei appreciated their concern, but he knew what he was doing, and wanted to be alone with Hotsuma.

Yuki stayed with him for a while though – Takashiro had ordered her to heal the wounds of those Zweilts who survived, Shusei included.

The warm, golden light emitted from her hands as she worked, slowly healing most of Shusei's wounds. They stayed silent as the night closed in on them, the only source of light in the room being the candle and her magic.

Shusei barely noticed when she was finished – his mind was on his partner, wondering how long it would take for Hotsuma's breath to stop. It was a frightening thought, to let him die again. One would've thought that he and the other Zweilts would've gotten used to it by now, after so many wars and deaths, but it was just as terrifying every time. Time after time, it still broke your heart, even if you knew that you were going to meet your partner again.

When Yuki was finished, she sat beside Shusei for a while, observing the youth. Like always, Shusei couldn't tell what she was thinking – she was the clan's princess, who kept her distance from them, yet they still longed for her, wanted to be beside her – it was something that was written in their blood.

"I suppose you want to be alone with him?" she finally spoke up, softly.

Shusei nodded, averting his gaze. It unnerved him how it felt like she could see through him, through all the barriers he unconsciously built.

Yuki's white dress rattled a bit as she stood up, moving to the door. As her hand reached the doorknob, she partially turned back to look at the Zweilt. "I know how you feel."

Yuki's eyes captivated Shusei's as she spoke. "It's the scariest feeling in this world. To be all alone."

With that, she left the room, leaving Shusei alone with his dying partner. After the door closed, Shusei laid his head above Hotsuma's heart, listening to the weakening beat. He could feel the warmth starting to escape, could feel how the life was leaving from his partner on every second that ticked by.

He missed the warmth that Hotsuma was always radiating – Hotsuma was the one made from fire whereas Shusei was made from ice. They were almost polar opposites, yet Shusei was drawn to his partner in every single lifetime. Maybe it was because Hotsuma alone was able to melt the icy barriers he built up, time after time?

Shusei didn't know how long he stayed like that – just feeling and listening, waiting for the inevitable, yet praying it would never come.

When the sound of the heart beat finally stopped, Shusei opened his eyes, pushing himself upwards. He looked at his partner's calm face, hand resting above the once-beating heart. As his hand closed into a fist, a tear dropped down on Hotsuma's chest.

Shusei squeezed his eyes shut as a broken sob escaped from his lips. Slowly, he rested his head on Hotsuma's chest again, letting the tears fall.

He was supposed to be Hotsuma's partner, was supposed to protect him, yet he always let him down. Hotsuma always died before him, he was never able to help him, even if he would happily give his life for him.

Maybe it was better this way though – at least Hotsuma was never left behind with a broken heart. He didn't need to watch his loved one die and feel how his own heart died with him, but the body kept on living. He didn't have to be left alone.

Because, like Yuki had said, the most terrible thing was to be left all alone.

Shusei woke up covered in sweat, feeling like his heart was about to burst. The dream – a memory – was so vivid. He remembered the horrible feeling of his heart being reduced to ashes, the all-consuming fear and pain of being alone.

"A nightmare?"

The brunette youth didn't even glance to his side to see the light-bronze haired man sitting there. Shusei lifted his hand to cover his eyes, but a burst of pain on his chest when he did so made him cry out and give up on the idea. So, instead he squeezed his eyes shut, holding back the tears the memory – more like a nightmare - had called up.

"Memory", he spoke out, ignoring the lump in his throat. "I saw Hotsuma dying."

He could still see the crimson blood splayed on the white snow, could still feel the warmth escaping from his partner, could still hear how his heartbeat weakened and eventually, stopped.

Takashiro didn't have much to say to that – the Zweilt had died and watched each other die so many times that it should've gotten easier by now. But maybe it was natural for them to still struggle with it – at least it meant they hadn't lost their humanity during the lives they had lived through.

It was a cruel fate – to be reborn and be forced to fight the same fight over and over again, without the end in sight.

Shusei was just about to ask about his partner, but there was a knock on the door. The nurse from yesterday stepped in, greeting Takashiro with a kind smile on her face, telling that it was time to switch the bandages again.

Shusei winced at the mere thought, but didn't protest.

"I would like to stay, if possible", Takashiro pleaded, making his request clear.

"Of course."

Takashiro watched as the nurse went through the same routine as yesterday. Even if Shusei was now more prepared to the pain that the procedure brought, it didn't make things any easier. It still hurt like hell, and the drugs couldn't take the pain away.

When she was finished, Shusei laid down to the mattress again. As he stared at the white roof, he was trying to blink back the tears that were slowly running down on his cheeks. He was exhausted, mentally and physically – the memory had left his emotions mixed, making it feel like his heart was crashing, and the newly brought physical pain of the burns didn't make anything easier. All in all, there was nothing but pain.

The nurse left, leaving Shusei in Takashiro's care, counting on the man to take care of the poor boy. "Take care of him, will you?" she said at the door. "His parents still couldn't come."

When the nurse left, Takashiro turned his attention to the suffering Zweilt. "It's not your parents you need, right?"

Shusei shook his head. His body and heart hurt – he wanted to see Hotsuma, to see that the other boy was alive, not the lifeless body that had been in his memory. "Where's Hotsuma?"

Takashiro let out a breath. He had been trying to convince the kid to go and talk to Shusei, but his words had all fallen on deaf ears. Hotsuma was so scared of the fact that he had hurt his best friend and partner that he refused to see Shusei. It was painful for him to come face to face with that fact, and somewhere deep inside his mind, he feared that now Shusei would be scared of him as well.

But how to bring that up to a kid who wanted nothing more than to see him? Takashiro might not be a loving person, but he still had a heart.

"He's still struggling with himself", Takashiro finally said, looking into pained eyes. "I'll talk to him again."

It wasn't enough for a comfort, not by far, but it was all he could provide at the moment. Just by looking into Shusei's eyes, the Giou clan leader could tell that the kid was scared – scared that he had just lost his partner.

"Go to sleep", Takashiro mumbled, absentmindedly touching Shusei's hair, trying to provide some kind of a physical comfort – something he hadn't done in hundreds of years. "It'll be fine."

It sounded like an empty promise, but Shusei hanged onto it as he closed his eyes – he hadn't anything else left, anyway.