Author's note: This is chapter 9 from Yosuke's perspective.
Chapter 9 - Yosuke
Yosuke pushed the drive close and snatched up the DVD player's remote before making his way back to the couch. "Alright, best movie ever time. Think you can manage without subtitles, genius?"
His partner had a smirk when he answered, "Is there any other way to watch this cinematic work of art?"
"Damn right."
He went to sit, but noticed that Yu was less centered and favoring one side of the couch. If he weren't also moving his limbs ever so slightly away from where Yosuke would be sitting, the other teen wouldn't have even noticed at all. It had to be because Yosuke had been acting so damn weird earlier, and he knew that Yu always tried to go out of his way to accommodate Yosuke however he could, but maybe it was his turn to make a point. With his best friend pouring his heart out not even five minutes ago, it was pretty clear he was hurting and just now letting Yosuke see half of what he was dealing with. Plus, he didn't mind being close to Yu now—earlier had just been a panic move. Actually, 'close' sounded... pretty okay. Then again, he was pretty tired and it took energy to over think the way he usually did.
When he finally sat down he was only a few inches away from his friend, and as per usual, Yosuke opened his mouth to try and cover his awkwardness. "I'm going to try so hard not to talk this time."
"You say that every time."
"And I try to mean it."
It'd been a long day full of serious and Yosuke was kind of burnt out with his own inner turmoil. When he'd—ugh, was realized even the right term? Would confused be more appropriate? Sure, he'd definitely thought about Yu in a... romantic way for a second, but that was just him—
Takehaya Susano-o didn't give him a chance before the Persona put an almost painful amount of pressure against his forehead.
...
Who was he kidding? The thought of Yu made his heart sing and stomach drop, and those were two pretty conflicting feelings to have simultaneously. Those symptoms stemmed from a list of emotions that had a very narrow range.
His eyes followed the scenes in the movie and as the main detective characters interacted on the screen, he tried to imagine it being the two of them. Yu was absolutely the serious one while Yosuke would no doubt be the comic relief that was still talented at his job, but also brought his partner out of his shell. Could they go back to being those same friends now that Yosuke was having these feelings? Could Yu tell? Was that why he wanted the space? ...Was he weirded out? No, Yu wasn't even capable of that when it came to Yosuke—Junes made that obvious.
He needed to just give up this fight for the evening and revisit it after a good night's sleep. Things would make more sense tomorrow.
He closed his eyes for a moment as they started to burn from a mixture of his poor sleep schedule and his still unconquered sickness. The dark was welcome as his eyes tried to recover from the dryness, but it also made his limbs heavy and he could feel a yawn building. It wasn't often he got to feel this at ease, but with Yu it was always easy. He knew his head was struggling to keep itself up as he would accidently doze for a moment and catch himself almost immediately afterwards.
Yu wouldn't care if he took a quick five minutes, so he gave up and didn't fight it after the tenth time. And now that he was thinking about it, what was his head resting on? It wasn't a pillow, but it was nice and warm; in fact, it wasn't very soft, but it was the perfect size, even if it was moving just a bit. His mind was still in limbo as he realized it was Yu's shoulder he'd settled on, but it didn't alarm him. Should he be moving away? Maybe it was due to his exhaustion, but he was going to stay put. This was nice.
His inhibitions were lowered further as he slipped more and more into the lull just before sleep. He even stayed still as Yu's thigh pressed to his and his partner's hand fell against his open palm. The warmth was so comforting and Yosuke found himself getting lost in how right it felt. If he didn't have paranoia at the forefront of his mind it was much easier to think. He never believed he'd ever trust or care for someone as much as he did Yu. What his best friend had said earlier matched his own feeling completely.
'...it's always different with you. It's almost too effortless.'
Those words had nearly knocked him over. Yu seemed so intense the entire time he was speaking and it was even a little intimidating. Was that how best friends normally talked? He found himself wondering if that was how they'd talked in the past; once again, he almost couldn't remember. Was he really relearning his partner or was it because their dynamic was changing? Yu seemed different with him, but it wasn't an unwelcome change... Was Yu confused like he was? No, there was no crazy way Yu was confused like he was—the guy was never confused about anything really, but did he know something Yosuke didn't? What was he feeling?
His mind wasn't ready to leave it's sleepy limbo and it pulled him further away from his thoughts, and he found his eyes far too heavy to open now. Five minutes.
It was a deep rumble that woke him up. At first he couldn't place the sound, but as the noise echoed around in his mind he placed it. Yu's voice.
"Mmm, sorry, did I pass out?" he asked, reluctantly leaving the comfort of... where had he fallen asleep? It didn't matter.
"Yeah, but it's okay. You've pushed yourself enough these past couple days," his partner answered following a sigh.
Yosuke was still slow to process, but he knew relief when he heard it. He tried to rub his eyes awake to get a good look at his friend only to find that Yu's face matched the tone of his voice. "You look kinda freaked out. You alright?"
"Now I am."
Yosuke knew what 'now' meant. "Did 'it' come back?"
"...'It' did."
Yosuke felt his chest tighten at the thought of having missed the moment. Yu had been alone. Again. "Did it have anything to say?"
"Always."
No details. Not surprising with Yu. Not surprising after Yosuke had let him down.
Still, Yosuke tried. "Wanna talk about it?" He moved his body to face Yu, making it clear he was awake and this was priority number one.
His best friend hesitated before deflecting with, "You got a text while you were asleep."
Few people would text Yosuke. None were as important as Yu.
Conclusion: it didn't matter.
"Oh? What'd it say?" He tried to sound as calm as he could, but he wanted Yu to tell him the truth. However, being pushy was not a right he'd earned back just yet.
"Well, it was from... Ume, so I didn't want to intrude," Yu answered with a hint of something in his voice. What was it?
Still, Yosuke found his answer funny. "That doesn't matter. You can read whatever garbage you want in that old thing anytime you want. Not like I lead a very interesting life. Just ignore all the texts I've saved from our conversations. I reread them when I need an ego boost, which is—ya know, pretty often."
Did Yu really think that Ume was something that was a secret? Why would he think something so ridiculous? She was just some girl.
A girl who didn't matter like that.
His stomach flipped for a moment when he thought about it. Some girl... Well, having Yu here made things a lot more complicated after all. Why did Yu cause everyone to have so much introspection? Earlier Yu might have said he didn't do all that much to help, but there was just some aura about the guy that made people face everything they didn't want to see. It was like having a Shadow that branched conversation over months rather than minutes.
And was actually pleasant, and a lot less deadly. As long as his blade was aimed at an enemy, anyway.
Yu seemed relieved from what Yosuke had said and offered his own unnecessary reassurance. For a moment it felt like a few months ago. They joked like old times, Yosuke got to pick on him a little, but now the heavy topic was all that was left.
The Inaba teen tried again. "By the way, that was a pretty lame attempt to dodge my question, but just know that when you want to talk, I'm here."
The leader shook his head. "Hmm, thought I was being clever."
That 'hmm' wasn't working this time.
"You're not as clever as you seem to think."
Finally, Yu smiled. " Maybe, but you're also the only one who seems to see through me, remember?"
His words were choking. Why couldn't he just stop being complimentary? Yosuke couldn't handle it with the way his heart was a mess.
"No, you're just not the best with misdirection."
"Take the damn compliment," Yu threw Yosuke's words back at him and grabbed his phone. "Here, it's been about half an hour now."
Annoyance overrode his nerves and Yosuke groaned in frustration. Who? WHO? It still didn't matter.
hanamuraaaa-senpaiiiiii i'm all lonelyyyy. call me. ;3
Ume? That seemed... off.
don't you want to taaaalk?
Sorry, my friends took my phone. Please don't call, they're just being them.
That one looked right.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, just her friends grabbed her phone and she sent some apology text. Probably the same friends that left that dumb note in my locker," he answered, not censoring his irritation.
His friend had a peculiar look on his face. "Do you want to talk about her? You haven't really told me much."
He didn't want to answer Ume or this question. It wasn't anything against Yu, but the more he talked about her the more he was having to accept that this act he was pulling wasn't going to work out. So, he rambled, unsure of what direction he'd go by the end. Things like, who was Ume to him, really? Where was it going to go? Was he an asshole? Maybe Yu could offer insight.
By the end, Yu looked somewhat relieved again. "It's fine. It's nice to get attention every now and then. As long as you don't start something you don't intend to follow through with, I think it's a good learning experience. That's human nature."
At least he could laugh at it. "Leave it to you to make it all sound so clinical. Still, I don't know how to just say I'm not interested in that kind of relationship..."
But even as he finished the sentence, he knew that he was also guilty of trying to hide the truth from his friend. Human nature, huh? Maybe last year that'd have been the reason, but it really didn't have to do with her at all... Not really.
"Why don't you sound so sure of that?"
And of course his partner noticed right away, and maybe... maybe he could use that. Maybe if he told Yu the truth he would trust Yosuke again. If Yu had poured his heart out earlier, maybe this would be an even trade. Maybe it would help Yu feel at ease that he didn't need to have everything together, because Yosuke sure didn't. And it was obvious and had been from the beginning. The moment before he opened the door to the roof, the moment he'd seen his dad's message, he knew. Everything he was about to confess, would Yu look at him any differently?
'Nothing can change that?'
Hadn't Yu asked him that already? Hadn't that conclusion already been decided?
"You're just gonna laugh," Yosuke said with less and less confidence in his voice.
Yu looked uneasy. "I promise you, that will not happen."
His partner's eyes were too intense for him and he looked down. "This is going to sound so dumb, but... it's just... it seems like, in a weird way, my dad is happy about it. I'm not sure how else to explain other than maybe I'm just enjoying the actual praise I've been getting from him this past month. He's never really seemed all that proud of me, but now he's asking about my day and not every word that comes out of his mouth is negative." A pathetic laugh escaped. "Like I said, it sounds stupid, but I'm hanging on to what I can. Maybe he feels like I'm less of a waste of space."
Yu didn't answer. Minutes passed without response and nerves made Yosuke finally look back up. "Partner? My dumb explanation leave you speechless?"
His friend looked almost startled when he answered, "No, sorry, just processing a response... I think you should do whatever makes you happiest, but I also think you should be practical about it. It's not just you involved in this, and in the end it's going to hurt her more than you."
Honest, albeit a little cold. Just the way Yosuke needed his advice. "Yeah, I know, it's just not my area of expertise." Because if Yu had been a friend that wasn't direct, Yosuke wouldn't have known what to do. He was emotionally inept enough for two people.
Yu continued, " I don't want to sound presumptuous, but are those the only reasons? Just the attention and your dad? It's... That just doesn't sound like you."
Part two was being requested. The one that actually mattered. This one might have actually been something his own Shadow would have mentioned last year. Still, he at least knew how to see the truth now, even if he didn't want to. How would he word this? In the end, he'd have to tell Yu everything about that week. About his dad, Ume, his own weakness that he still couldn't overcome.
"No... I'm just not sure how to say it without sounding like the person I was last year."
Because he hated that person.
"There's nothing you can say that will change my mind about you."
Leave it to Yu to be positive despite all of Yosuke's stupidity.
"Heh, I know... This time it's... more me, I guess. But I guess it's only fair to tell you since you told me all of that earlier. I just don't like this about me."
"Please." Yu's voice was heavy with worry, Yosuke didn't miss it.
Would his explanation really help his friend feel better? What would it relieve? Yu should be worrying about himself right now, but he always put everyone else first. Yosuke's dull eyes focused on Yu's for only a moment before the steel color was too cutting once more. He looked away, always feeling like the guy could see right through him. It had to happen, so why not now? Five minutes from now would only make it more awkward.
"Partner... I don't want you to think I'm the same as I was last year... Hell, I even apologized to Kanji for being a total asshole... You know how my parents are—especially my dad, and how they are really conservative or whatever... Well, my dad came home from work the other day and was complaining about these two kids that he had to deal with. It was just two teenagers messing around in one of the stock rooms... but it was two guys and my dad was on the warpath about it.
"Anyway, he was more pissed than usual and he was even snapping at my mom. He never made any comments directly towards me, but my dad tends to spiral when he gets hung up on something. It's beyond dumb, and it's something the old Yosuke would do, but I panicked. I didn't want to do one wrong thing and my dad start hounding me about not having a girlfriend since this was gonna get out and he's all about his reputation. I know I sound insane, but that's how he is with stuff like this. He didn't get the son he wanted, so he tries to cling to every traditional thing he can when it comes to me... Maybe that's why I try to compensate the way I do. Not that it's an excuse, but I'm just trying to find some explanation for my crazy reasoning."
He took a breath. It was all there. All the embarrassing truth had been laid out and he couldn't take it back and...
And things didn't feel much better.
He finished, " You must think I'm a piece of shit... You should. I know I do."
Yu remained quiet and Yosuke refused to look up. Somehow the lack of judgment Yu's eyes always carried were worse in moments like this. He wanted Yu to tell him how wrong he was, how terrible he was, but that it was okay because they'd figure it out together. Wasn't that usually how it went? Yosuke would fall to pieces and Yu would put him back together again. However, wasn't that a pretty selfish thing to expect right now? His partner was literally seeing a Shadow and Yosuke was bitching about how he didn't know how to deal with his dad. When was Yu ever going to get the chance to fall apart? Well, more correctly, when was Yosuke going to actually be there for him like he was supposed to be? Because he'd done a shit job last week.
Yu broke the silence. "No, I think that you just want to make your parents proud and their views conflict with what you want yours to be."
But he also knew he was practically addicted to hearing Yu reassure him. Nothing seemed to cheer everyone up quite like their leader's words of encouragement. He'd see the comforting smile his best friend always had and—huh? Yosuke's eyes widened as he finally looked up and he saw nothing but tears on Yu's blank face.
His chest was on fire. His partner was crying. He was hurting. All reservations fled and his hands were wiping the tears away before he even realized it. It seemed to startle his friend.
"Yu, what's wrong?" His voice was anything but steady.
What had he said? What had he done?
"Partner, talk to me. What's wrong?"
The world felt hollow and miles away as all his senses focused in on the person he cared most about. If it meant he could fix anything that he'd broken, he tell Yu everything he was feeling—good and bad. Was he miserable because Yosuke was being this selfish?
Yu took a deep breath, but never moved away. "I'm just... very emotional without my Personas. I can't explain it. Things that wouldn't have bothered me so strongly before seem to... well, do this."
Then, Yosuke remembered that December night.
Yu putting up that front that he was strong—because he had to be, he was never allowed to be anything else. Or, he placed that burden on himself, at least. Yosuke could remember the weight of Yu in his arms as his friend sobbed, the freezing sensation as his friend's tears soaked through layers of his clothes and how he'd heard raw pain for the first time. No sound on earth was quite as gut-wrenching as the cries of someone who had lost one they loved.
Every tear Yosuke watched slip through his fingers stung for a different reason now.
"What part is bothering you?"
What had he said to cause Yu to break like this? What was he missing here? Yu losing his Personas was not the full story, there was just no way.
Yu's face tensed against his hands. "That you don't feel like you get to decide what makes you happy... I hate it."
Yosuke almost laughed in disbelief, because of course it was about him... No one had ever cared about him like Yu did. Quite honestly, he felt like no one ever would. Seeing Yu like this and hearing the pain in his voice... All he felt was agony knot up his insides. God, what a mess everything was. Was loving someone this hard?
...
...
...
...Love?
In an instant, everything over the past few months flooded his memories. Every conversation, every text, every thought or feeling. Just like the day Yosuke had accepted Him, Takehaya Susano-o sent the same sensation of liberation through him that feathered out to even his fingertips. Even if he hadn't wanted the affirmation, there wasn't anything he could do against his own Persona's wishes. Here, staring his crying partner in the face, that 'love' hit him square in the chest. And the word that Yu had used was 'hate'. Yosuke's adrenaline was pumping, he didn't want to think about what loving Yu meant, he just wanted to see his friend okay again.
He moved to gently take his partner's hands, remembering how early this simple touch seemed to have helped Yu. He felt the fire crawling up from his neck and covering his face. Every touch from Yu always fought against his instincts to push back. "I don't think I've ever heard you say you hate anything... I don't know what to make of that."
Hate. Had Yu ever said that before? But it was because Yosuke couldn't be happy, or at least that's how Yu saw it, so what did that mean? He didn't want it to mean this much to Yu that it'd do this to him.
But Yu's tears finally stopped and Yosuke felt their hands grow more intertwined and tightly bound. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to sound directed at you, just the idea. I don't blame you for anything you said."
He wasn't sure what had caused the sudden shift, because it certainly couldn't have been anything he'd said. Deep down he hoped that his touch had the same effect on his partner as Yu's did to him. What was going on in Yu's mind? There was no way this was all, he had to be shielding Yosuke from something. Yosuke wanted to take everything back, to keep Yu safe from all the crazy Yosuke had bottled up in his head. He could have figured this out on his own, he didn't need to burden his best friend with something so trivial in comparison. How many conflicting thoughts could one person have going on at once?
"I think you should. I kind of wish you'd just smack some sense into me... Maybe I'm overdue to get my ass kicked by you," he said, trying to hide his nerves with humor. "And you don't have to take what I said so seriously. It was a panic move and I know I have to do something about it, but it was just hard to admit. More than a little embarrassing, that's for sure."
Yu's thumbs were tracing circles over Yosuke's skin. "Then we'll schedule a fight for old times' sake before the end of the week... I'm sorry that I made you worry. I didn't mean to do that."
He shouldn't have been apologizing for anything. In truth, Yosuke should have been the one groveling on the damn ground. Then, ashamedly, he found himself feeling a bit proud. Where had that come from? Now that Yu was done crying, did that make it better? No, of course not. How could it? The end of tears didn't signal the end of a problem. But still, that most selfish part of him felt pleased that his best friend was offering Yosuke the words he needed most. Even before his feelings had evolved, this was a part of their friendship he'd felt guilty for.
"Nah, I'm kinda happy in, like, the most messed up way possible, probably. It's nice when you show that you aren't some invulnerable person... It's just kind of shitty that I'm usually the reason you're upset."
Because that was the painful truth.
Yu wasn't mad at him, he was mad for him. Even though he'd wanted to be honest and help Yu trust him, Yosuke had also been so terrified that Yu would finally just be done with his close-mindedness and get up and walk out; after all, Yu had been the one to actually have a few sit down conversation with him after rescuing Kanji. Instead, here he was, defending Yosuke when he didn't deserve it.
"It's not for the reason you think."
... The reason?
Yosuke opened his mouth to say... what? What was there to say or ask with that? Besides asking what the reason was, because Yosuke didn't have a clue. Well, not a safe one. The only real guess was that...
Those same conversations came back, and every sentence that had confused him seemed to now make sense if—
"I can't do this myself, Yosuke; I've tried and clearly failed... I need you.'
'You're the most important person to me.'
'They wouldn't be my ideal partner.'
'I think it's safe to assume you've already guessed what I'm about to say, whether you've fully realized yet or not.'
...Wait.
All those times he'd...
Did Yu... care about him too?
...
No.
No he could not think about that right now. Too much had just happened. His thoughts were too fragmented.
"W-well, whatever that is, I'm glad you trust me," he stammered out to clear his head for a moment. "Geez, we've been so sappy recently... Haven't we had enough serious talks for one day?"
Recently? What a joke.
Yu had an amused smile now. "It's just after midnight, so technically it's a new day."
A new wave of guilt hit him. "Is it that late? How?"
"I suppose I'm a slow speaker. We've been talking for some time... The menu has been on repeat for ages."
"I bet my parents came back while we were talking... No way we can take a bath without waking them up... Wait, and we're going to see Nanako in the morning. Then again, my parents go to work early—well, Dad does, but Mom usually follows... Do you care to wait?" He felt awful to inconvenience Yu like this after he'd just had what was probably the worst night since Yosuke had broken his promise.
However, Yu seemed to be alright. "It's fine. I'll wake us up around five if that's okay with you. You should try to get a few hours since you're not fully healed."
Still worrying about him when he should have been worrying about himself. Yosuke needed to get out of the room. He had to clear his head.
"Alright, then let's—" Then Yosuke remembered that the warmth surrounding his hands belonged to Yu. He looked down and felt the same warmth spread through his chest. As much as he needed out, he also didn't want to let go, and with the way Yu had laced his fingers through the same lovely mess, neither did he. However, he couldn't have both. Yosuke reluctantly let go and got up. "Let's go to bed. I'll go brush my teeth and be right back."
His heart pounded the entire walk to the bathroom and his hands were shaking so badly by the end that he had to grip the sink to hold himself together.
So, he loved Yu.
Loved.
Love.
What a word.
He closed his eyes and saw Yu's tears and his father's angry face side by side. For the first time, he cared almost nothing for the man glaring back at him in comparison to what he truly felt in his heart. The only problem now was that he didn't want to love Yu. All his conflicting beliefs aside, he just wanted to see Yu as his best friend. It would have been so much better if things had just stayed the same. Yosuke had wanted to keep his best friend, follow that generic life plan he had and just let that be the end of things.
Why? Why did his head have to mess everything up?
Because he knew he couldn't just stop texting or calling Yu after this week. As it stood, with how powerful of a sway Yu unknowingly held over him, he'd never be able to look at his partner as anything less. Why couldn't the guy just be a little less caring and a little more cold? It wasn't fair. Unwanted love was fucking awful. He had always wanted the first time he fell in love with someone to be this magical thing and he didn't care how dumb it sounded. He wasn't asking for movie moment perfect, but damn, did it have to be Yu? And if it did, why couldn't the world view things differently? And if it couldn't, then why couldn't he?
His nausea was overwhelming. Yu was a guy. He was a guy. It just wasn't normal. At least, that's what he was trying to get his mind to remember. He thought about any other guy and it made him shudder, but Yu... it felt as natural as thinking about a girl. Well, at least in terms of whether he could love them.
The water he used to wash his face was freezing cold and it blinded his reason for mere seconds at a time. This was a problem he was going to be up all night thinking about. What if going to sleep was the bad idea? What if his dreams showed him things he didn't want to see? When he finally forced himself back to his room, Yu was still sitting and staring off into space.
His cheeks started to burn. Yosuke refused to acknowledge how nice Yu's normally pale features contrasted with the dim light from the TV. The nausea came back. "Your turn. I'll pick another movie we can fall asleep to while you get ready."
His friend seemed back to normal as he got his things together and took his turn. Yosuke, however, still had trembling fingers as he sorted through his movie collection. Was it possible to love just Yu and find all other guys disgusting? Because he hadn't even found Yu... attractive before today. He could acknowledge that other girls probably found him nice to look at, but he'd never once felt this way before. Was it possible to love someone just because of their personality and not want anything more? Because other things were typically expected to go along with a romantic relationship...
A mellow movie. That's what he needed. Monotonous everything. He'd go right to sleep.
Yu was back far quicker than Yosuke had expected, but it was fine. He could fake normal. "Less noise than the last one, lighting is a lot darker, so it'll be easier to have playing in the background."
Either Yu didn't care or he had nothing to add because he started getting comfortable in Yosuke's bed without another word. It was really difficult to see Yu in his bed after having realized how he felt. He really didn't want to like the way he did. Just because he didn't want to love Yu didn't mean that he didn't want to want it. He was going in infuriating circles. Why were these polar opposite feelings so strong? Even his Persona had given up on him, or maybe He knew that Yosuke had given up on himself. He could face that he loved Yu, he could accept that he wanted to be and didn't want to be happy about it, but he couldn't deal with the thought of Yu finding out. Yu was too polite of a person to crush Yosuke's heart the way he needed him to. He wanted blunt rejection rather than acceptance, because then maybe things could go back to being easier. Life would be too much a wreck to try and make 'them' work and Yosuke really just wanted simple.
He gripped his covers tightly and squeezed his eyes painfully shut. No. Right now he had to be Yu's best friend. For once in his damn life, he had to put his heart completely to the side. Nothing could be allowed in influence this mission. Yu came first, their friendship was priority here, and Yu needed his best friend to get his shit together and save him.
"Hey, partner."
"Hmm?"
"Don't forget your promise."
Yu's quiet laughter caused Yosuke's chest to swell. "How could I?"
"You have a tendency to think you're more clever than you really are, remember?"
"Don't forget that we also have to meet with the others," his friend said in a playful tone.
Yes, the other part of his problem. Everyone else. Explaining to things to them would be worlds apart from how it'd been explained to him. "Yeah, 'how could I'? I know your tricks. Don't think that's going to change anything."
"I understand. Good night."
And because of how well he knew the boy near him, he could practically hear the smile in his voice. Perhaps tonight had helped Yu. He might have been a wreck, but one good thing had come out of it. The most important thing. "Good night, partner... And thanks for telling me some of what's been on your mind."
"The same goes for you as well. And thank you for listening."
Yosuke stopped the conversation there, feeling his annoying habit of wanting to ramble trying to surface. There were so many things he wanted to say and ask that he knew he shouldn't. He pushed them back in the corner where he was keeping his self-doubt. What did you do when the one who kept you grounded needed you to take that role? Did Yu already see Yosuke like that? Yosuke wasn't sure what he could possibly offer that his partner didn't do a thousand times better, but whatever Yu needed, at least he saw it in Yosuke.
Tomorrow would be the real start of everything. If they met Yu's Shadow, what would It have to say about Yosuke? After all, even Chie's had some painful things to say about Yukiko, and Yukiko hadn't even been there to hear it. If It had anything to say about anyone other than Yu, It'd definitely be talking about Yosuke. That wasn't arrogance, that was just probability working against him. Whatever it might be, it was deserved.
Author's note: It might have been repetitive to read the same dialogue over, but this was probably the most important turning point for Yosuke in the story so far. To me, there was no way I could omit it. The actual chapter will be the next update. :) Thanks to everyone for reading!