Synopsis

In Brooklyn, Alex is recovering from an epic crash and burn, coming clean and starting fresh with her friends and family but something strange happens to her when she finds herself connecting on a whole new level with her big brother, Justin. And this new development breaks her resolve and brings her demons back with a vengeance. And Justin, battles with an identity crisis the wake of all this.

Meanwhile, back in Manhattan Max and Lily try to be normal again and seem to be getting serious now that the drama in his life has calmed. But there's something Lily is keeping from Max and it may ruin their perfect blossoming romance. And have a big deal to do with what's ultimately happening with Alex and Justin.

And where does Harper, who just came back after choosing to leave rather then deal with Alex's demons, fit in with the new dynamic of the Russos? In turn, how do Teresa and Jerry deal with the truth of what their daughter went through and the ramifications of it?

And of course what is the mystery surrounding Demetri? And will we ever see Leo again? Well, we all know that's a yes!

PAIRING: JAlex, but angsty JAlex and Mily (Max & Lily) or Maly, or Lix? Lax? ....

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Chapter 9 What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost?

- -

Justin felt like crap afterward and knew there was no shower hot enough to cleanse the dirtiness he felt after sleeping with Marly. As obviously beautiful as the curvy woman was, there was something wrong about trying to use her to not want to sleep with Alex. It was skeevy and Justin didn't like how it made him feel.

He drops his books as he catches sight of Marly crossing the campus and ducks behind a pole.

"You're hiding."

"Yeah I'm hiding." Justin hisses, turning to look into very silvery eyes of a very tall man. Justin swallows. "Professor Avalon."

The very British man chuckles. "From a very fetching young lady at that. Should I be concerned, Master Russo?"

"No, no... sorry. Just having a rough time with my sister and it's making things weird with this girl who's NOT my girlfriend but... Sorry, I ramble when I'm stressed." Justin murmurs.

"Wow, I've never seen such a sweaty individual. You are literally dripping sweat like torrential rainfall! Call me William. She's gone." The professor straightens up and chuckles. "I will seize this opportunity to tell you I won't allow such a bright individual as yourself to drop out of my Medieval Mythologies class."

Justin winces and shakes his head after wiping his forehead. "I've really fallen behind my work, Professor. I mean, seriously. There's a lot going on with my family and I can only afford to carry so many credits."

"Well, things seem to have calmed down if you have girl troubles. Let me help you..." He frowns. "You're too smart, Justin. Special, even. You have great potential. I won't let you waste it. Throw yourself into your studies and the rest of your life will fall into place. I promise."

Justin raises an eyebrow and smiles bashfully, shrugging. "I have to work harder to be half as smart as the other kids in the class. I swear i'm out of my league here..." he confesses a looming insecurity.

William laughs richly, a deep sort of laugh that came from deep within his barrel chest. Justin felt a bit... small next to him. "We could be great chums, if all else fails." Justin chuckles a bit as he begins to walk with his professor. "Do you recall the last lecture you were present for?"

"Ah... Morgan Le Fay, except I don't remember a thing about her."

"Ah a fascinating creature, Morgan Le Fay. The woman in Arthurian legend was a devilish pest to the likes of Merlin and King Arthur. I should recommend you read some of those books I suggested." William pulls out a list and Justin just stares. The professor then rolls his eyes. "I know, the irony. King Arthur, Mists of Avalon, British. Trust me, it's not lost on me. Just take a gander at these tales. Maybe they'll inspire the courage you need to face your problems." He smiles charmingly again and wanders off.

Justin smiles down at the list. He could use the escapism of legend. After a quick stop Justin rushes home, hoping to find Alex but isn't surprised to find she isn't around. So he makes himself a bowl of cereal and sits among his books. Well, at least he had time to read.

- -

Lilith passes the brush along her hair and sighs softly. It felt good to put down the disguise sometimes. And after her fight with Max... She needed to stand in her own skin. Especially today. To see the face she remembered as her own. She stands before the mirror wearing the medieval gown. Her finger tips drift to the choker on her neck. She could feel herself get lost in the memories that flooded overwhelmingly whenever she allowed herself these few vulnerable moments.

She embraces herself, dropping the silver horse hair brush to the carpeted floor. She sighs. What she would give sometimes to go back to those times and try this all over again.

"Another stroll down memory lane? I'm beginning to see a pattern."

Lilith opens her eyes, but she can't reign it in. She's in it, suffocated by the nostalgia. "What could you possibly want from me now, William?" She asks breathlessly. "Being your wife once upon a time means noting now."

"Demetri." He corrects, raising a brow, watching his sister, far gone. "And if you recall, I had no desire to be married with you and neither did you with me." He takes a seat on her bed, watching her. He can almost see the sister he used to push into the mud or off her horse. The sister he was disgusted at the idea of marrying. The sister turned against him after her "Mistress" turned her against him.

Those were foolish days. "William, my brother, my rival, my husband, my nemesis." She turns to give him a stern look. He sighs and shrugs. "Not Demetri. Demetri is a stupid villain's name. Like Dracula, or... Green Goblin!" she snaps.

He chuckles. "You know how things were back then, Lilith. Why we had to marry. To keep magic and magic kind pure, we had to keep it in the family. Our parents were first cousins you know." He holds onto a glowing black and green orb the size of a tennis ball, tossing it from one hand to the next. Of course she knew.

She shoots a glare in his direction. "The King favored us. I had to lie to him."

"The king was a fool, whose wife was knocking boots with one of his men. His favorite, isn't that so? And were you not his lover briefly as well? He did get around." Demetri rises and stands behind his sister. He holds the orb before her.

She looks at it in confusion, lifting her hands toward it as she speaks. "He was a good king, the last great king. What are you up to now, brother?"

"This is just a gift from me to you. Happy Birthday Lilith." She lifts her hands to cup the floating orb. She begins to ask what it was when the world around her shatters away, coming back together... to place her amidst the people of the royal court. Her eyes widen. Was this real?

"Of course it's real. A loop, sister. You know how time travel works, don't you? Think to this day, our wedding day. What you don't remember... is happening now. Took a lot of soul sucking and dark arts to develop this kind of spell you know." As if expecting an applause. The orb becomes an hour glass, small on silver bracelet, the black sands slowing sifting through unaffected by gravity.

"And knowing you, you have your own motives." She murmurs, but she's in her wedding gown and she remembers everyone here... the court, the music, the food. She closes her eyes and inhales the scent deep into her soul. She almost feels 16 again. How excited she was for this reception in the royal castle...

"True, but I didn't need to bring you here. I chose to. Think of it as... a temporary truce." She turns to glare at him but he is standing in his suit and he's handsome and almost that naive charm she remembers in her foolish brother's eyes. The naiveté that left him wide open to the more manipulative charms of Her Lady. "A dance?"

"How much time do I have?" She asks as he pulls her in his arms and they begin to dance. He shrugs.

"I don't know. I don't remember the entire evening."

"Me neither."

"Do you remember the morning?"

"Vaguely but enough to know I was then and not now... I'm confused." She frowns. She rests her forehead against his chin. Centuries away from here, Lilith never had the an inclination of being back here. "Why are we here? I know she's here, isn't she?"

"Yes, Nimue is here but no, that's not why I came here." He adds before Lilith can inquire further.

"What do you hope to accomplish, William." She demands suddenly with nervous concern. "Why can't you just let her go and move on with your life!" She grabs his face and pulls him close to her. "Let this go, this hate that has made you into this monster in the future..."

His face distorts into the ice cold malicious creature she knows now as Demetri. "No. She should have chosen me, you know it."

"Who would chose a humble wizard like you over the great Merlin, William!"

"Says the woman who chose a king then a servant over me. And this Max fellow is no better." He retorts dismissively.

"You're my brother, ew!" She hits his arm. She glares up almost childishly defiant. "You were just as annoyed at this arrangement as I was! Who knew we'd be the only ones in our generation, orphans even! And Arthur is a great man, brave and true! And butlers now aren't what butlers are in the future! And Max is a great-"

"Boy?"

"William!" She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "You pushed me into mud, put chickens in bed while I slept! Snakes in the bath while I bathed! Worms in my food!"

Demetri chuckles proudly, a little warmth back in his face. "Those were damn good pranks."

"And it's that mischievous prankster that appealed to the mischievous prankster in Nimue... but come on, interest cannot overpower true love."

"Love? I don't want love, Lilith. I want possession, I want her power... And I will have it." He whispers so close. He then turns and slips into the crowd.

"No, William!!" Lilith calls, and moves to follow him but is pulled back as someone grabs her hand. She turns and stares...

At none other then King Arthur himself. Her heart flutters. He's so young. So handsome. "Your Highness!" She drops into a curtsy instantly, a little sloppy due to being out of practice. He wasn't at the reception, was he? She can barely remember this night.

"Lady Le Fay." A quiet greeting. She feels her face flush.

"I prefer my new surname, Avalon. After the lake that gave you Excalibur. My... husband and I will carry this name through generations. Also... I rather not be associated with my... sister, Morgan." She whispers.

"Avalon? It sounds strong and proper, for a lovely couple. I swore you and your husband were siblings?" He asks more quietly as he easily pulls her into position for a waltz. She stares up into his kind thin face.

"Ah well, William's family took me in when I was young. As you know, I was orphaned young. Tragically his parents passed to later. All we had was each other a promise made... before I knew you. " She slides her hand free. She frowns, meeting the king's gaze. "Being his wife was a natural progression. Your court has been kind to us, to me. I hope my husband learns much from Merlin."

This was so hard, even though so much time had passed. Even though he was only the first of many loves she would encounter in her long long life.

"And you?"

"Me? What about me, sir." She averts her gaze as they move from the dance floor and to a more secluded corner.

"Morgan has already been under Merlin's tutelage. I wish to not be like my sister." She whispers.

"Merlin will have his hands full with your brother and finishing with Lady Le Fay. However, I have brought someone with me today who would love to meet you, Lilith..." Nimue! She forgot this was the night she met the Lady of the Lake for the first time. "Do come find me when you have finished with your guests?"

"Yes... I will try." She whispers and watches him turn to leave. Whoa. Now that much makes sense. She gathers her skirt. She hated lying to the King, and centuries of living didn't change that.

Now to find her brother before he did damage. She turns and bumps into someone.

"The lovely bride!"

"Sorry no time, gotta find my good for nothing spouse." She blinks, realizing she slipped into a modern tone and dialect. She wheels around, flushed, facing the perplexed face of... Lucan! This was where they first met... Two exes in one night? SHe shudders.

"I'm really sorry... but I can't... Sorry!" She wheels around and rushes away. Time traveling sucks! Lucan would later tell her of the first time he laid eyes on her and she would have to confess to not remembering him at all.

Now she knows why.

- -

It was yet another sob fest when Alex got home and told her mother everything, baby included, brother kissing excluded. They stayed up all night in Alex's old room (it was weird how she felt like she had out grown this very room) and just talked and cried and mended that terrible rift between them.

Alex felt empowered again. So that morning she had her mother's eggs and Jerry didn't quite know why Alex was back and in her mother's good graces but he didn't question it. He just wanted his precious princess to be happy and safe again.

"We'll figure this out together, mija, trust me. First thing's first. I will talk to your father. It'll be hard for him to hear and you need to rest. As soon as he recovers, we're going to get my grandson, you hear? There' s no reason for a child born from my sweet daughter... to be raised by strangers!" Teresa could feel the emotion cinch her chest and Alex's eyes glossed over seeing it.

"But he's with a good family, mom. I don't think I want to take him away from that. I can't give Leo the life he deserves."

"But you have us to help you!"

"I'm 17, I have to go back to finish school... I just can't, not now. Maybe never. I'll do better next chance I have to be a mom." Alex promises, but not looking up to see her mother.

"Bay, look at me. Look up." Teresa lifts Alex's chin, to gaze into her broken gaze. "Look at you, Alex. even as you say it, you know a part of you is with that child. You made... a stupid choice, but got a beautiful baby boy for it. You'll never be complete without him, nena."

Alex shakes her head and chokes out a weary laugh. "Mom, trust me, I'm not ready for that. I have too much going on. Like, right now, I have to go make up with Justin."

"I'm surprised it took this long for you two to have the kind of fight that sent you running. You two always fought as kids!" Teresa sighs and pinches Alex's cheek. "Let me pack some food for the two of you. And make sure you let him have his fun, he should have girls over at that bachelor pad of his, not sisters."

Alex smiles and nods. "Yeah I know..." Alex endures more mommy advice but with great relief Teresa leaves the baby topic alone. The topper ware is packed full with all kinds of reheat-able home cooked deliciousness. And Alex was on her way again, on a train back to Brooklyn before Max got home.

It was nearly 4 when she got to the apartment and realized she didn't have the keys. She waves her hand at the lock, hearing the click and smiles. It felt kinda nice to have her magic back. She slides the door open and shuffles in. "I'm home, so don't be naked you whore!" She calls aggressively.

"Marly's gone." Justin calls from the ground.

"Who said I was talking about the street walker?" She glares at Justin and drops the plastic bag of left overs onto the breakfast island. Justin looks up in confusion.

"You went back home? Why?" He asks, frowning as he walks toward her. "Forget it, I don't care why. I'm just glad you came back. Look, about yesterday-"

"Whatever, Justin, I'm over it. Whatever pillow talk you have between you and the ... the, ugh I'm running out ways to call her a slut. The point, I don't care. If you had to talk someone cause it was so bad to have me around then fine." She shrugs and begins to micro wave one of the better dishes and while that heats up, proceeds to freeze the others.

"That's not how it was. I kept blowing her off, or leaving our.. dates I guess they were, early and I told her it was for you... That you needed my help. She just assumed, her mother's an alcoholic and her sister's in jail for drug possession. Her thesis will be the psychosis of a drug addict, Alex. She assumed."

He walks around the island. "Alex, I would never share with anyone anything that was private or precious to you."

Alex scoffs. "I don't care that people know I'm a recovering addict, Justin. Look, let's just..." She trails off and walks pass him to the living room.

"Oh, I've been catching up on homework, sorry for the mess." Justin offers, confused.

"Are these hers?" Alex chokes, holding a lacey blue panty. Justin pales. Alex tosses them at him and he jumps away from it.

"Wait, I can explain!"

"Save it!" She yells, storming into the bed room and closing the door behind her, locking it. He frowns and leans against the door. He winces as he hears her cry. Oh no. Alex...

"Alex, open the door... Alex, please... this is important..."

"Go away! You suck!" She yells, kicking the door.

"Fine! No, Alex! Damn it! Stop this!" He tosses magic to unlock the door but a flash of hers shoots out to counter... except it happens again. Their magic collides and causes this spectacular show of color. He frowns looks down to her on the floor.

She scowls. "That's getting old." She gets up and turns toward the bathroom, but seeing her intent, Justin launches himself across his bed and catches her arm and yanks her down to him.

"Oof, Justin!" She shrieks in frustration. "Don't touch me!"

"Shut up woman and let me speak!"

"Demetri did all the talking! About how special I was, and how the girl he slept with was nothing but a reminder of how much more special I was!" She sobs, yanking herself away. "I will not be that stupid-"

"This. Is. Different. Alex!" Justin grabs her face. "Demetri was some old creepy bastard trying to take advantage of you... I'm your brother, I have always been and will always be your brother. And what you keep demanding of me defies all rational and logical reason! Alex... this is wrong, by all laws and religions... this is wrong."

"But Justin-"

"I'm not done. It's wrong... but I can't stop thinking about you. Being with Marielena felt wrong, terrible and void and nothing like kissing you... touching you..." Alex freezes, staring openly at Justin as he speaks, eyes closed and clearly fighting to find the courage to say all this.

"What are you saying, Justin?"

"I'm saying... if you can bare keeping this a secret until we figure this out... I'm willing to, no... I need to try. I need you Alex." And just like that her heart soared and her spirits rose. She feels her eyes swell with tears.

"You have no idea how badly this was all killing me, Justin. Do you think it's easy for me to feel these things for you?" She sobs. "To feel safe and loved by only your brother? You do these things to me.. not even Demetri had this power over me." She whispers. "Justin." She wraps her arms around his neck and presses her body against his, laying over him.

And this time it was perfect. There was passion and fire but there was this new certainty, an assurance that this was more then a physical impulse. They were no longer brother and sister. And she was damn determined to undo anything that Marly did to him.

It was more then an afternoon delight. It was like in the story, when the prince finally marries the princess. Magical.

- -

"Merlin..." Nimue whispers, smiling. "I have found you yet again. Should I trap you again?" She coos.

The powerful older wizard gazes at her with bright blues eyes. "I am due for another vacation."

Her brown eyes sparkle back at him and her smirk melts into a sincere smile. "Do come back and see me soon. I have found someone to replace me... With what's come..."

"She will persevere, even if she is not as observant as I would have hoped for..."

"The king is so young!" Nimue changes the topic, turning to face the gardens. "Is he a good king?"

"He is." He responds easily, with pride.

"Why is he here?" She asks.

"He is smitten with your future protege."

"She is a witch, Merlin. A married witch."

"I know. But as you know, in this court, marriage only ensures adultery." He says heavily. Nimue chuckles and reaches out to touch the bearded wizard's cheek. He dips his head to bring their lips together.

"Ahem." Lilith stands and stares. It hits her. "This is it, isn't it... where it all starts. What sets it all in motion." She moves forward and they both simply smile at her. "Whatever happens tonight has already happened."

"Yes, you powers of observation are duly noted." Merlin nods.

"Why is William here?" She turns to the Lady of the Lake. "For your power?"

"Not mine. You know who has my power already... You've lived so long believing it was me he lusted for... I do appreciate the compliment, however."

"Then whose..." Even as she asks it dawns on her. The most powerful witch that ever was... She turns to stare at Merlin who nods and frowns. "... Mine, not mine but... My sister's, Morgan's! Oh crap." Lilith closes her eyes and disappears.

Merlin looks to Nimue wearily. "Do you really trust her to take care of us?"

She simply smiles and nods. "I do."

- -

Ok, well I have taken some GREAT liberties with Arthurian legend and I have dropped several hints but things should be pieced together now!

I will continue Jalex's attempts at being together and tie up Lilith & Demetri/William's time traveling in the following chapter.

I hope this is consistent. I'm cracking my skull trying to make all this make sense! Direction it's going, yay or nay?

R & R

- SD -