Chapter 10 enjoy.
Ludwig groaned listlessly as he got ready for school, the first weekday after the concert, Ludwig couldn't imagine what horror awaited him at school. He'd already received mocking phone calls and facebook messages, from both Feliciano's fans and his school 'friends'.
He felt physically sick, he'd tried to weasel out of going to school but Gilbert had said he needed to face the consequences of his actions. He felt bad for trying to get out of it and it had only made him feel worse, weaker.
He had to keep his head held high. He'd had a great time that night he wasn't going to let some idiots get him down.
It had been so nice, he and Feliciano had been so happy, the whole night had been perfect.
Since that night his mood had deflated, he tried to hide it, but Gilbert knew, Ludwig was sure he thought it was nerves, he wasn't going to let him find out about the insulting messages, or how they were affecting him.
He was sure Feliciano couldn't tell, he was determined to hide it from him. He wasn't going to let anyone know they were getting to him, that, in his mind, was the most important thing.
He kept his head up as he walked through the halls of the school towards his first class, ignoring the weird looks and trying to avoid eye contact. He could feel people staring and as hard as he tried it was unnerving him.
He walked into his English language class and he felt all the eyes in the room pin on him, he couldn't help but flinch.
He heard a soft chuckle from one of the boys at the back of the room, "Hey dude I saw your dance moves on facebook, I never pegged you for a groupie," he chuckled again, the rest of the room laughing with him, Ludwig felt himself blush, he dipped his head and walked to his seat, not surprised to find Kiku avoiding his gaze, so much in fact that he had his whole body turned away.
"Kiku?" Ludwig asked softly, trying to keep emotion out of his voice, "Uh, how was your weekend?"
"Good," Kiku grunted, "I don't need to ask how yours was…"
"You saw the video then?" Ludwig knew he had, he'd secretly hoped it wouldn't affect their friendship any more than the relationship already had.
Kiku nodded shortly, "Yes, I saw you humiliate yourself in front of thousands of people."
Ludwig frowned, getting his books out of his bag and laying them out on the wood desk. "I didn't humiliate myself," Ludwig almost growled, "I was out with my boyfriend having fun. People just happened to see."
"Yes and they recorded it…" he huffed, "Forgive me, Ludwig, but I'd rather not talk with you today, I'm afraid I'll say something out of turn and insult you."
Ludwig grit his teeth, beginning to write down notes from the board as the teacher began to talk, "The way you're acting now is insulting, Kiku, the way you've been acting for the past 3 months is insulting. If you have something to say just say it. I don't understand your problem."
The teacher cleared his throat, glaring at them across the classroom, "Boys," he snapped. Ludwig's eyes snapped to the blond man, watching him smooth the creases on his weird green shirt. "No talking while I'm talking please."
"Ludwig's probably bragging about all the hot Italian ass he got Saturday night," the same boy at the back of the class jeered, glaring at him with an odd smirk.
The teacher huffed, furrowing his large brow and looking between them, "That's not appropriate classroom talk, boys… and might I remind you that accusations like that are considered bullying."
"It's true though!" the boy said loudly, "Ludwig's gay for that stupid singer boy."
Ludwig finally turned his head, glaring across the small classroom with gritted teeth, "Don't talk about him like that, he is not stupid."
The boy Ludwig now recognised as Feliks, who he'd never really spoken with before, let out a short laugh, "I don't see you denying it, don't worry Ludwig we all knew you were gay anyway. We just didn't expect you to go for someone who was such a twink."
"A-A.. what?" Ludwig stuttered, loud laughing erupting from the boy and the people surrounding him. He frowned, gritting his teeth so hard it hurt, he forced himself to face the board, his face red with embarrassment and anger.
"…I told you," Kiku jeered, smiling to himself.
It had never occurred to Ludwig just how mean Kiku could be, or anyone in the class for that matter, this was the first time in his life he'd felt fully excluded, shunned by everyone except the teacher, who was now yelling at the class to calm down.
He sat in silence until the end of the class, waiting for everyone to leave before he began to pack his things, not wanting to leave with them, he couldn't imagine what they'd do.
"Mr Beilschmidt," he heard the teacher say, looking up to see the man walking to him.
"…Professor Kirkland…" Ludwig said weakly, trying to avert his gaze, he looked down as the man sat opposite his desk, biting his lip, feeling the older man's eyes on him.
The man swallowed hard, "Ludwig, I know coming to terms with your sexuality can be hard, especially in school, but I want you to know that if you find yourself having problems or that you become a victim of bullying you are welcome to come and talk to me about it, my door is always open."
Ludwig smiled and nodded, the man's words actually lifting his spirits slightly. At least he knew he had someone to talk to who wouldn't make fun of him.
God he felt so pitiful, having to rely on teachers for support.
He packed up the rest of his things and left the classroom, saying a polite and thankful goodbye to the teacher.
"What were you doing in there?" he heard a familiar voice shout towards him, turning to see Mathias smirking at him, "Fucking teachers now too Ludwig?" he chuckled.
Ludwig let out a huff, "No Mathias, Fuck off, I'm not having sex with Professor Kirkland."
Mathias laughed loudly, "No I bet you call it something really gay like 'Making Love'," he shook his head, "Ludwig you are such a loser, why the fuck are you even here? You know you have no friends now, no one likes you, even Kiku hates you now."
Ludwig huffed softly, deciding not to retaliate, he pushed past the tall boy and walked to his second class, maths, at least he knew no one in his maths class anyway, there were no 'friends' there to betray him, but he could still feel their eyes pinning to him, making him feel like nothing, an idiot, he should never have gone to that concert, never have thought of talking to Feliciano.
Throughout the lesson, as he used the calculator built into his phone, he kept feeling it buzz as more hate messages filled his inbox.
He couldn't do this, it was going to tear him apart.
He'd never felt this bad, he couldn't stand it.
During break he found a secluded spot to sit, a small area on the edge of the sport field surrounded by tall trees with a floor covered in woodchips.
He had to call Feliciano, he had to, he needed to hear his voice, he knew if he could hear his voice he would feel better, he knew it.
He got up Feli's number and called it… no answer, he let it go to voice mail just to heard the cheery hello of the boy, hanging up before the beep.
Maybe he should leave a message?
No, then he'd know Ludwig was upset, he'd be able to hear it in his voice if nothing else.
…He had to, he had to tell him, he had to talk to him.
He called him again, hearing Feliciano's voice, even just that calmed him, he took a deep breath as he readied himself to leave a message.
"Feliciano," he said softly, not really sure what to say, "…I love you, you're so amazing. I just wanted to call you to say that. I'm having kind of a bad day, and I just needed you to know that I love you."
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