Catalyst

[10. memory]

"All of my endings are waiting to begin."

She reached towards Nyx, rising above them all, and he felt his heart tearing itself in two. She was facing Death... alone. A deep, horrifying dread wrenched itself around his mind, too shocked to even comprehend the possibilities. He watched her go, and it was Miki and Shinji and Junpei and all his other failures all over again; he was helpless, he was worse than useless.

The next few moments were a blur... that he wouldn't even remember.

School was normal, it was boring, but it was still perfect with Arisato at his side when the day was over. She laughed with him, she took interest in his hobbies. Sometimes, he felt strange around her, off balance, like he was missing something, but he chalked it up to his first (and hopefully only, he smiled to himself) relationship with a girl.

Sometimes, he could swear he saw a deep, unending sadness in her eyes, but she always assured him she was fine. Sometimes, she looked beyond tired, and seemed to stare off into space for no reason. It was just too much studying, she would say with a tiny smile, and he worried too much. He took her word for it, and tried not to fret.

The days flew by, and time was nothing to him anymore. He'd go to college next year; he had a scholarship lined up, an amazing relationship, a bright future. He had no reason to worry about anything. Maybe in a few years, when he finished school, he could ask her to be his wife... These thoughts made him blush, and he felt like a girl when he considered it, almost silly for thinking and concerning himself with it. He reassured himself that it was fine, that it didn't matter.

After all, what else was there to really agonize about?

Graduation Day came faster than he or anyone else expected, but it wasn't really a bad thing. He lounged in his seat in the vast auditorium, content with the world, while Mitsuru Kirijo gave her speech on the podium, every inch the heir to her corporation.

But that feeling slowly began to crumble.

Something was off, he felt, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He twisted in his chair, his nerves tingling, a bead of sweat sliding down his face. What was this uneasiness? He felt the gears turning in his head, like there was something just outside of his thoughts he was having trouble trying to remember. Suddenly, Mitsuru stumbled in her speech. Mitsuru Kirijo never lost her train of thought like that.

And then it hit him.

Arisato.

His feet pounded against the floor on his way to the roof, astonishment in his mind. How could he have forgotten? How could he ever forget the years of bloodshed, of sacrifice, of terror? What Arisato had risked for them all? How could he forget just how much he loved her?

How could he forget he would die for her?

He threw open the door to the roof, and saw her there, as though she was waiting for him, and then it didn't even matter. They were truly going to be together again, he thought, for the first time since January, since the fall of Death itself.

He swore he would never forget a single moment of his time with her again.

[end]

[next ; 11. fade]