Author's note: This story - in my opinion- attempts to reflect how easy it is to drift apart as well as how easy it is for life to get in the way when you're trying to build something back up. I will ease your minds and tell you that things will start coming together fairly soon - maybe as early as this chapter...

Chapter 10

Jane slammed the door to her apartment shut behind her. The bang echoed around, bouncing off the walls. She stood completely still for several seconds, waiting for the sound to fade. All that was left now was the silence. Jane sighed and carefully put the chain on the door before removing her gun and badge and leaving them on the side table. She then walked into her kitchen, opened the fridge and took the bottle of orange juice she'd opened earlier that morning. She took a large gulp, swallowed, and took another one. She then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and leant against the kitchen counter.

Her head was a mess. She'd left BPD after walking out of Cavanaugh's office. She'd gone straight home but now that she was here she felt trapped. The news of the undercover operation had rattled her. The fact that she was not given a choice angered her. She felt used and betrayed. She'd expected Cavanaugh to have had her back but instead he had handed her over to Vice and Narcotics like she was nothing more than a piece of meat.

Jane ran her hands through her hair and tried to make sense out of the thoughts running through her head. Everything came back to Maura. She kept coming back to that moment outside the elevator when she had looked up into the medical examiner's eyes and had seen the worry. Maura had stepped away from her when she snapped but when Jane pulled her closer, she had responded. Jane looked down at her hand. It was that hand that had grabbed hold of Maura. Her gaze lingered on the unsightly scars. The trauma with Hoyt had brought her and Maura so much closer together.

To hell with it, she thought and reached into her pocket. She took out her cell phone and smiled momentarily at the picture of her and her mother that appeared as her background. Without really thinking she scrolled through her contacts until she found Maura's name and hit the call button. She paced around her living room as she anxiously waited for Maura to answer.

Her heart skipped a beat when she recognised Maura's voice on the other side of the line. "Jane?"

"Maura…," Jane tested the name, as if to determine whether it was allright to address Maura this way or whether she preferred to be called Doctor Isles but Maura had called her by her first name so she did the same. "Sorry, is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all," Maura answered. She sounded unusually perky and Jane remembered that they were supposed to have met up for drinks in the Dirty Robber. She cursed herself for doing this, realising that Maura was most likely expecting an invitation for a drink. Jane's eyes desperately danced around her apartment. She didn't want to disappointment Maura but she hadn't called to ask her to meet up with her.

"Did you… did you speak to Cavanaugh?" Jane asked. She had reached the window and stared out of the glass. The quiet residential street she lived on was void of cars. Most of the residents had gone to work. She recognised her neighbour's car. Shannon was a nurse and she worked nights. She turned away from the window and looked around her empty living room.

"Yes," Maura replied. "He seemed surprised I even knew you'd spoken to him."

Jane chewed the inside of her lip and imagined Maura sitting in her office, perhaps at her desk or on that god awful red designer chair Jane hated so much. "I'm sorry, Maura. I shouldn't have asked you to go and see him but…" She paused, suddenly aware of the heavy pounding of her heart ringing in her ears. "Cavanaugh's asked me to do something and I don't have a choice but to do it. I just… I just didn't want you to think that I was deliberately avoiding you."

"Avoiding me?" Maura asked. "Why would I think you'd be avoiding me?"

"Because I have to go away for a while," Jane answered softly and found that she was suddenly clinging onto her phone with an iron grip. Speaking the words out loud made it real. She was forced to stay away from her family and her friends. Nobody could know where she was. Another reminder why so many cops lost whatever family they had; the job took it all. She swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry like a desert.

"Away?" The hurt in Maura's voice was obvious and Jane envisioned her sitting up straight with wide eyes, staring at something in the distance. She was only a few miles away but Jane felt they were worlds apart. Suddenly she just felt like the day she had discovered Maura was gone. A cold shiver travelled down her spine when she heard Maura's voice again. "Jane, where are you going?"

"It's something Cavanaugh's asked me to do. I can't really talk about it," Jane said and sank down onto her couch. "I just… I just wanted to tell you myself because I didn't want you think that I…"

"…that you had left the way I left?" Maura finished her sentence.

Shit, even after a year she still knows how I think, Jane thought and leant back into the pillows. She can't even see me and she can still finish my sentences. "Yes."

"I wouldn't think that, Jane," Maura said softly.

There was something about not being able to see each other but just hearing the other's voice. Jane felt her muscles relax, like they had always done when she spoke to Maura. She curled her legs up underneath her and her fingers lazily drew fingers on the couch's armrest. Jo Friday was asleep in her basket across the room. She hadn't even looked up when Jane got home.

"I just wanted you to know," Jane said. She felt sudden butterflies in her stomach. Her nerves got the better of her and the tremor in her voice was impossible to mask. "And there's something I'd like to ask you. Sort of like a favour. If you wouldn't mind, that is."

"Sure," Maura answered. "What is it?"

The sound of her voice was soothing, Jane thought. She ran her fingers through her thick curls and rubbed the back of her neck. "Could you tell Ma? I asked Cavanaugh to do it but I think she'd take it better coming from you."

"I'll tell her," Maura said and Jane could hear the smile in her voice. There was some rustling in the background and she guessed Maura was clearing her desk with her free hand. Jane listened to the sounds that had once been part of her life. It was odd how familiar they still sounded, even though she hadn't heard them since Maura had left. She hadn't even set foot in her office since her return. A door opened and suddenly Maura's voice sounded a little hollowed. She was standing in the autopsy room. "Do you want me to go and speak to her now?"

"It can wait till tonight," Jane said quickly. By then her handler would have contacted her and she would most likely have left her apartment. Knowing her mother she'd come knocking on her door and she would just be happy not to be there to have to witness that. She heaved a sigh. The next question blurted out without warning. "What are you doing?"

"I have an autopsy to prepare," Maura answered. It seemed the question had caught her by surprise too. "White male, late fifties. First glance suggests he suffered an intracerebral haemorrhage."

"Nice," Jane replied and found herself smiling. "Natural causes for once. Makes a chance."

"It does, actually," Maura agreed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm…" Jane began and realised that she couldn't tell Maura that she was waiting to meet the handler assigned to her case. "I'm about to go jogging."

"Maybe we can go together some time."

It was out there before Maura knew and for a moment both women were silent. It had seemed so normal once, to ask the other to go out for a run. They had done everything together, from the most outrageous yoga sessions to horror movies in the cinema. Jane had taken it all for granted. She knew that now. She had taken Maura for granted too but like with everything else in her life she had figured that out too late.

Maura's mistook Jane's silence for rejection. "Jane, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"No," Jane hurriedly interjected. She even surprised herself. She hadn't really avoided calling Maura in the last few days but she hadn't made it a priority either but now that it came up and they actually spoke to each other, her initial hesitation subsided. "We should go."

"Really?" Maura's voice sounded a lot happier now.

"Yeah," Jane answered.

There was a short and sharp knock on her door and she looked up. The knock repeated itself and she wondered if her case handler was early. She sighed. "Maura, I'm sorry but I have to go."

"Ok," Maura replied, a hint of disappointment echoing in her voice. "I'll call you later." There was that sentence again. It had been an empty promise before but Jane knew it wasn't just words this time.

"Don't call me, I'll call you," Jane quickly said and stood up. Across the room Jo Friday lifted up her head. Slowly Jane walked to the door and peered through the spy hole. To her surprise she saw a woman standing outside. She didn't recognise her but she managed to catch a glimpse of a badge attached to her belt. She sighed and rested her head against the door. "I'll call when I can. Bye, Maura."

"Bye," Maura said softly but seemed to change her mind before hanging up. "Jane, stay safe."

Jane just smiled to herself but didn't answer. She ended the call, removed the chain from the door and unlocked it. The woman on the other side of the door looked up. She had dark red hair that reached down to just over her ears. It had been cut in a sharp bob. Light green eyes snapped up to meet Jane's and both women silently sized each other up. Dressed in black pants and a matching blazer, accented with a white blouse, the woman outside looked every bit like a cop. She quickly flashed her badge and cracked a smile.

"Detective Jane Rizzoli?" she asked and when Jane nodded she extended her hand. "Detective Rita Wilcox."

"Hi," Jane said and stepped aside to let the redhead in. she wished she had at least tidied her apartment but until this morning she wasn't expecting visitors. She closed the door behind Rita and watched how the other woman's eyes darted around her living room, clearly forming a picture of the Italian detective in her head. Jane walked back to the couch and noticed detective Wilcox looking at the picture of her and Maura. "I wasn't expecting you until later today, detective."

"Call me Rita," the red-haired woman answered. "I spoke to Lieutenant Copperfield and he was under the impression it was best not to wait."

"Of course," Jane sighed and folded her hands in her lap. "I'm all yours."

Rita gestured at the sofa. "May I sit down?"

Jane nodded and the other woman sat down beside her. She opened up the bag she'd been carrying over her shoulder and took out several files. The BPD logo was printed on the front. She opened them and began laying them out on Jane's coffee table. Jane studied the pictures. The one that stood out was the face of a woman she guessed to be in her mid-forties, with curly blonde hair and surprisingly cold eyes. Her make-up was immaculate an expensive diamond studded necklace hung around her neck. A bar had been stuck underneath and black capitals spelled out Madeleine McKenna. Jane reached for the photo and pulled it towards her. This woman was her target.

"These are the faces of those involved in the organisation," Rita said. "That's Madeleine McKenna; she's at the top of the pyramid. From what we've learnt she's the one in charge of everything. Then there's Robert Delany…" She pointed at a picture of a man with short, dark brown hair. It had been taken from a distance. "According to Narcotics, he's the one in charge of the drugs coming into the US. He reports to Madeleine but is hardly involved in the escort part of the business. He leads the fashion department, which is a front for their drug import."

"This young lady here is Lindsey Baxter. Now she's the one to watch while you're out there," Rita continued. "She arranges all the dates for the escorts and sets up meetings. She is also the one who organises all the parties where the high end clients and escorts can enjoy each other's company, shall we say." She smiled. "Lindsey relies on Sarah to maintain her diary. What she doesn't know is that Sarah is a CI for BPD."

Jane blinked in surprise. "What?!"

Rita chuckled. "Sarah used to be a hooker working the streets. She was arrested and in exchange for a suspended prison sentence, she became an informant for Vice." She pointed at the picture. "She knows you're coming and she'll be the one to set you up. She communicates with only one person inside BPD." The redhead pointed at herself. "That would be me."

"OK," Jane said slowly. "So what is it you want me to do exactly?"

"I have informed Sarah that you will be joining her team. Your background includes a reference to being her cousin. She has already informed Lindsey that you're new in town and need a job. You'll meet her tonight. There's a party at a restaurant downtown and Sarah will accompany you. Be at your best behaviour. She'll do anything to convince Lindsey to hire you but that shouldn't be a problem." Rita rearranged a few more pictures on the table. "Once you have been accepted, you will start being sent out on dates or parties. People will request your company."

"So I am expected to go out with them?" Jane asked hesitantly. "I mean, we all know what escorts do and what sort of services they deliver." She swallowed. "Unlike detective McGregor, I am not prepared to go that far."

"Nobody is," Rita said and smiled. "Don't worry, we're not sending you out with people we know expect any favours from you." She took a deep breath. "You won't have to do anything sexual of any kind. The escort service delivers to different people with different kinds of desires. I'm aware this is personal but I have to ask… male or female?"

"Excuse me?" Jane stammered. "Male or female what?"

"Clients, detective," Rita clarified and Jane noticed how her eyes briefly seemed to dart back to the picture of Maura she'd spotted on the shelf. Kind green eyes found Jane's and she observed the hint of a blush on her cheeks. "Do you prefer male or female?"

Jane looked down into her lap. She wasn't comfortable in the company of men she didn't know well. Blind dates were her idea of a hell. "Female."

"I'll make sure to tell Sarah," Rita answered and she studied Jane's face more closely. "Detective, I'm aware that this is a great ask and I'm aware that it will not be without dangers." Her voice dropped down into a comforting whisper. "If there was anybody else we could rely on, we would."

"How many of these have you done?" Jane wanted to know.

"A few," Rita answered. "I once worked a deep cover for six months. The only connection to BPD I had was the person who met with me once every two weeks. I didn't see my family or any of my friends. When I came out I found that most of them had moved on. My mother thought I was dead and didn't believe it was me when I turned up at her door." She cocked her head. "This isn't going to be like that operation. You'll be out before you know it."

"What am I looking for?" Jane asked. "All I want is to find the person who killed detective McGregor."

"There are a couple of girls who were quite close to him," Rita answered. "He mentioned them once or twice to me."

"To you?" Jane asked and her eyes snapped up. "You were McGregor's handler?"

"Yes," Rita admitted. Sadness reflected in her eyes and she tore her eyes away from the photos. "I couldn't believe it when the picture your partner sent came in through the email. I didn't want to believe it was him but when he failed to make contact, I knew it had to be. The last time we spoke he said he was worried someone may have figured out he was a cop."

"Do you have any idea who he might have been seeing?" Jane asked. "Did he mention any names?"

"Nobody goes by their real name in that place, including the ones using the services," Rita replied. "Steve said that the guy who asked to see him twice a week was a married prosecutor but he didn't mention a name. We were going to wait until we could make the drugs charge stick as well. If we had moved in when we got the name, we would have risked losing the whole operation altogether. Steve was happy to continue gathering the information. We have a lot of their encounters on tape, as well as the prosecutor's promise to get one of the other escorts out of jail."

Jane covered her face in her hands for several seconds before peering through her fingers at the pictures sprawled out on her coffee table. This seemed unreal. She was about to disappear into a world that couldn't be further from her own. Everything about this felt unnatural and every cell in her body seemed to object. She tasted the bile in the back of her throat and swallowed it down. There was no time for this. She had to be stronger, had to be better.

She spent the next two hours discussing the backgrounds of everybody involved in detail. Rita let her listen to some of the conversations they had recorded throughout the weeks and by the end of their meeting Jane almost knew Steve McGregor's voice as well as her own. She had heard him talk to men and women and she learnt to put faces to some of the voices by looking at the pictures.

"His wire was never recovered, was it?" Jane asked and Rita shook his head.

"We have some of the recordings but most of it was lost when he was killed. I assume the murderer found it and we know what happened after that." Rita leant across the table and began gathering the pictures. As she did so she glanced at her watch. "I think it's time for us to leave."

Jane picked up the key that she had seen in the paperwork. "My new home for the foreseeable future."

Rita grinned. "One thing Vice does well is arrange decent accommodation. You won't be disappointed."

Jane helped her gather the remaining bits and pieces and then picked up her cell phone. Rita frowned when she spotted the device. "I'm afraid you won't be able to use that after today."

"I just wanna tell my brother to pick up my dog," Jane said and typed in a message to Frankie. She then eyed Rita up as the redhead walked to the door and looked back down at her messages. There was something else she wanted to do, someone else she wanted to talk to. She typed a second message and found Maura's name. It was simple and short, shorter than she would have liked, but it was all she had right now. Maura deserved to know.

I'm leaving now. Talk to you soon. Jane.

Her breath hitched as she hit send and then removed the battery, disabling the phone's signal. She knew Frost well enough to try and track it once they knew she hadn't just gone away. She slipped the pieces into her pocket and stood up. Her eyes danced around the empty living room once last time. Jo Friday was looking back at her, tilting her head a little as if to ask where she was going. Jane smiled and took her badge and gun before following Rita out of the door. She locked it behind her and held allowed herself a second to process what she was about to do.

She was leaving and God only knew when she was going to be back.