Disclaimer: I…don't own Jiraiya. I don't even own a piece of his hair. How depressing.

Summary Notes: Sorry for making anyone who's still reading for waiting so long! Life decided to intervene, and then my muse had one of its ape-crazy phases where it KNOWS what it wants to write, but can't get it down. From here on though, I'm going to TRY and delve into the more angsty…I have about six angsty memories. Don't worry, I'll put a few happier ones in there though! How could I not, when the Pervy Sage is such a fixture in so many of Tsunade-chan's memories, neh? Depending on how frequently I can write/update/muse, I'll probably finish this before I start my final year of school, and maybe try and focus on some other ideas I've had.

Inspiration: No actual song, more the notion of refusing to believe Tsunade would be heartless enough to leave her best friend for dead, even after beating him within an inch of his life in a blind rage.

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The monitor beeped, a loud, ominous sound in the tense stillness of the hospital room. The sun was slowly setting, bathing the room in a warm glow and dancing warmly across the fine-boned features of the young woman as she sat on the window sill.

She barely noticed the beauty of it all; her amber eyes riveted on the large form sprawled along the cot bed, her features twisted with silent anguish and uncertainty, and above all, guilt. How could she have done this? What the hell had possessed her to…do this, to her best friend? What had driven her to such anger?

She'd caught him peeping, that much she remembered. She hadn't been all that shocked, to be honest. Her best friend was a self-proclaimed pervert after all. She thumped him soundly for it every so often, but never bad enough to land him in hospital.

To nearly kill him.

Tsunade bit her lip, her hands reaching up to cover her face and run through her tousled hair before they came to rest on her forehead. The position afforded her a view of Jiraiya's arm, wrapped up in a cast. That she hadn't been able to heal; she'd nearly exhausted her chakra healing the numerous injuries she'd inflicted on him that were more grievous than the arm.

I'm the worst kind of bitch. What kind of a person tries to kill their friend for something as stupid as that?

Tsunade grit her teeth. She didn't know why she'd reacted so badly, even for her. Or maybe she just didn't want to know why. She just knew she'd seen white-hot and blinding red, and before she'd even realised what she'd done, the rage had burned away, leaving her to stare in horror at her teammate.

"Jiraiya? Jiraiya, that isn't funny. Get up, you dummy!"

No response and her hands flew to her mouth in horror as he coughed up blood. Oh, god. Tsunade didn't think twice as she shouted out for help, before falling on her teammate, hands a frantic blue as she fought to undo the damage she had created.

"Baka-chan! Don't you dare die!"

Tsunade choked back a sob, gripping her hair so hard it hurt. Raising her head, she grit her teeth, wiping at her eyes in anger even as she slid to the ground, hugging her knees like she has a genin as her eyes resumed their watch on the sleeping form of her friend.

Oh, god, Jiraiya, please don't be angry with me. I'll never hit you again, I swear! I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…