Hey y'all! thanks for the reviews! =) and thanks for the critics, too! it's helpfull =) it makes me think deeper into the story and characters. And remember I'm writing from a young man's POV, right? I'm only a girl guessing at what it might be ;-)

Chapter Ten

I took a deep breath and knocked on her door. Louisa, her personal and favorite maid, opened the door and curtsied when she saw it was me.

"Your Majesty." She stepped aside and let me in. Her boudoir was in the south wing oft he Palace, so the sun was here all afternoon and evening. She was writing a letter at her small desk. Mother always looked beautiful, whatever she did. She lifted her head and smiled when she saw me. No wonder father had fallen in love with her. Who wouldn't? Her smile lit the room she was in, and melted the heart of whomever was gazing at her.

"Logan!" She put her pen down and stood, hugged me and kissed my cheek, but I didn't let go of her. I needed that hug more that I wanted to admit.

"Mother, am I interrupting you? I can come back later if you like."

"Oh no! I don't get to see much of you these days, with all these lovely girls around." She winked with an amused smile and led me to one of the couches of her boudoir. "What can I do for you?"

I didn't answer right away, breathing a few times to help me clear my mind and put the right words together.

"I'm a terrible person, mother, I need your help…" I couldn't bring myself to look at her while saying this.

"Why on earth would you say that, Logan?" Genuine concern crept on her lovely face. It was like she was saying What have you done?

I shrugged. "I don't know- I just- How do I put this? I feel like I've been judging and eliminating the girls only based on their looks and what they might be as a Princess. And I know I shouldn't be doing it this way."

"Logan, look at me." Her voice was so soft, I obeyed. "You're the Prince, so you can do whatever you like. If you feel a girl is not pretty enough, so be it."

"Yeah but what if I eliminated a girl only beacause she was not attracive, and she was the right one for me? I can't go back, now."

She smiled and put a comforting hand on my arm, and I took her hand in mine.

"I may be a woman, Logan, but I have one husband and four sons. I know pretty well how boys work. Looks often take the first place in a man's heart in the beginning. But then, love comes softly. Sometimes very slowly, and other times much faster, but certainly never at the same pace for the two people, nor does it come overnight. And no, before you ask, I don't believe in love at first sight." She paused a few seconds, taking her breath. "Use your instincts and your guts. If you already eliminated some of the girls, it's a good thing. I know you are a wise man and don't make rash decisions."

I chuckled and cleaned my fingernails on my suit. "Yeah, I'm a very wise man, I know that." Sarcasm filled my voice, and mother laughed. "But what do I do when I met all of the girls and eliminated some of them? What do I do with the rest? I'll have to start everything over, but with less girls."

"Yes, and no: you have to get to know them better this time."

I stood and started pacing the room. "Mother, I don't even know how to interact with most of them!"

"Logan, stop pacing around, you're making me dizzy."

I stopped walking but stayed standing.

She frowned. "Have you, like, ever interacted with women before? You seem to think we are weird mythical creatures from another world." She giggled.

I had to laugh. "No, it's not what I was trying to say…" I rubbed my hair and my face. "It's just that the only women I've talked to are you, my cousins and aunts. And I wasn't trying to make them like me. They're not suitors, being family and all, so I didn't even have to try, it came naturaly…"

"And what about the daughters of all the ambassadors who came through here?"

"Well, most of them didn't even speak english. Try communicating in Chinese or in French…"

"And the Princesses around the world? I know you've met some."

"Two problems here: first, most of them don't speak english either, and second, some were even Heirs to their throne. I'm Heir to mine, so wich country do we serve? That's why I never really even tried with them. Besides: as Crown Prince of Illéa, I'm supposed to marry a Daughter of Illéa, remember? Rodrick, Matt and Jaiden can marry other Princesses, for all I care."

"Hmm. I never thought of it that way, I have to admit."

"Right. And now I have 29 girls here, who are all suitors, and fighting for the Crown. Or me. It's the same thing." I shrugged and sat back next to mother.

"Oh no, it's not the same thing."

"Why not? They'll have the Crown once they have me, so it doesn't make a difference, anyway."

"Logan, look at me. This is very important."

I turned to face her. "What."

"Women can be very dangerous creatures when they're aiming for something they want. May it be power, money, or you name it. You must search for the ones who are aiming too high, at your head, and not at your heart."

"Love comes softly. Isn't it what you said? Love can come later." I shrugged.

"I don't think it will in this case. No. You have to marry a young woman you love, and who loves you back for the man you are, and not for the Prince you are.

We both remained silent for a few minutes. I replayed the conversation in my mind. How will I know if a girl wants the crown over me? She'll never admit it.

"Mother, did you want the Crown?

She smiled. "Honestly? Not really. I never imagined I'd make it to the Elite, let alone the to be Princess. I thought some of the others would be better suited for it than me. But your father had other plans. And when he proposed to me, I hesitated. I loved him, I really did." I noticed the past tense, here… "But I wasn't sure I was fit for the Crown. And I told him so. He ignored that and still married me. I've grown used to it by now. But in the beginning I was always avoiding my responsabilities."

She stopped her story and contemplated the past for a few seconds.

"What happened then?"

She shook the memories away. "Your father… convinced me to face my responsabilities and honor his choice of a wife." Something passed in her eyes, but I didn't grasp it fast enough, for a second later it was gone. Had he convinced her the same way he negociated with me?

I frowned. "Did he hurt you, mother?"

But her sad smile said it all. "No. Not physically, though. But there are words much more powerful than blows…" Her voice was only a wisper. A newfound hate took root in my heart. Father was going to pay hard for this. I could endure physical pain. But I wouldn't let him touch anybody else, even with words. I didn't know how he was going to pay, yet, but it would happen eventually.

I tried to hide my anger in my voice, and I think I succeeded. "Do you still love him?"

"Of course, honey." The answer came too quickly for it to be genuine. Like she was waiting for the question.

I wanted to change the subject, fearing I might explode. "Mother, how did you know you loved father, during your Selection?" I wanted good memories to come back in her heart.

Her features softened and she relaxed a bit. "Everytime I saw him, my heart fluttered and I thought it would jump out of my chest. So imagine what my heart did when he spoke to me or touched me… I always felt like I was floating in warm air and was carried olny by his touch or voice…"

I thought about my evening with Haley, and how I had felt exactly the same thing.

"Can you love a person without really knowing her?"

"It sometimes starts this way. But you'll have to get to know her better, though. If you find her pretty, it's a good start. But remember looks don't stay untouched for ever. You'll have to learn to love her for who she is, too, not only for what she is. No matter how beautiful she is. And," she lifted a finger at me, "she must know you as well, know all your dark secrets, and love you for your personality and wits, and not only for your Crown or handsomness." She winked at me. "And remember you can always change your mind and take your time."

"So you think I should have multiple relationships, if one fails?"

"I know this sounds awkward, but this is what the Selection is for."

Huh. I never thought of it that way. I always viewed the Selection like a big lottery, where I had to eliminate them one by one, until only one remained, and I'd have to marry her. I never considered having several favorites to choose from at the end… This was a bit creepy, but appealing.

And it changed everything.

I smiled and kissed mother on the cheek. "Thank you, mother. You are Wisdom itself." I left her with new plans in my mind.