Chains of Memory: Part 10

This chapter was an indulgance, and poor Himeko is totally absent. Poor girl keeps getting shafted. I promise I'll be good and include a lot of her next time...

Music is a strange thing to me.

My technical skill at the piano and the violin is excellent. They are the only instruments I can play, since their reputation is also excellent. And for the most part, I can't ever reach the heart of music. I play by the rotes I have memorised, and I play to impress those who are listening. It is not an unsatisfying experience, since like all arts it requires close concentration and fluid, difficult technique. Faultlessly executing a difficult task on the back of the fruits of long and hard effort is a pleasure I find in common to many of my activities, from calligraphy to kyudo. But that's all. For the most part, I lack an undefinable quality. My music is cold, precise, beautiful in its own way, but it's the beauty of ice and crystal. Warmth and emotion… for me, they have no place in my music. I ration those things carefully into the small, peaceful corners of my life, and they never meet with my public self at all.

Yet, why? Why am I feeling this now? An indistinct sensation of calmness, a happy feeling, peace… I have no tension in this moment and yet my playing is faultless, even though my mind is wheeling freely through these thoughts and through hazy, dreamlike images. There's nostalgia to it, as well. This is a memory that harks back to better times, maybe, something that has nothing to do with the now. Perhaps when I was younger, playing for my parents. There were scenes like this, weren't there? I'm sure of it. Before this became just another means to prove my commitment to mother, when I was younger, younger that I didn't really understand the significance of piano and violin, calligraphy and kyudo. When they were things I was learning to do, not trappings like a dress I wore to impress. I don't really remember, but this memory is something I want to pursue, to reach, to remember.

So I poured all my feelings into my music, searching for something I didn't understand and couldn't recognise. And, in the end, the song finished and I opened my eyes, and the feeling died. A little shaken, I was just myself in my world.

They applauded graciously. I turned my head and inclined it to acknowledge their appreciation silently.

"Excellent," Andrew-sama said in Japanese. "You are very good."

"I'm glad you think so," I replied, closing my eyes. "I still have a long way to go, though."

"Just as I'd expect of Chikane Himemiya, you're way better than me," Honoka remarked cheerfully. "It's embarrassing when I'm having my playing shown up in my own house."

"Not at all," I said gracefully. "I've just had longer to practise, and even then I can hardly tell the difference between us myself."

"Hm. You like being modest, don't you?" Honoka teased. "There's no way someone who can play that well lacks the musical sense to tell the difference between us."

What an impudent girl. I suppose it can't be helped, though, especially since she's right enough. Honoka is good for her age but four years difference is going to tell. It'd just be better for both of us if she let me dissemble. "I only have practise," I replied, smiling at her. "It is exactly that music sense where I have a long way to go, so you'll have to forgive me."

"How about you, Harry?" Andrew asked in English. "Are you going to have a try?"

"I don't know," Harry said, grinning. "That was one hell of an act to follow."

"Don't chicken out now," Mary said, elbowing her brother. "Just go do it, already."

I closed my eyes. Damn that accent. It isn't as if I can't understand, but it makes everything so much harder. I've noticed this before, but the difference between languages I'm taught and using them with other people can be very irritating.

"It looks like I don't have a choice," Harry said, standing and walking forwards. "I guess it's my turn. I don't have any confidence in following after you, though."

"Not at all," I said graciously, standing. "I'm looking forwards to it."

"I have an idea, though. Can you play…" Harry stopped short, as if looking for a word. "Two people at once? Piano four-hands."

I smiled. "A little. Perhaps you know Brahms' Sixteen Waltzes?"

"I do, yes," he said. "How about it? Number Fifteen in A-Flat major?"

"That would be wonderful." He sat down, taking his place.

I sat next to him, thankful that there was enough room. I closed my eyes for a moment, recalling the piece in question as I slid my hands into position. "On your count, then."

"Hey, that's cheating," Mary complained, glaring at her brother.

He smiled slightly, ignoring the interruption. "So let's begin. One, two, one, two, three…"

We played together. Harry was quite good, though he made a few minor slips. My form was only a little better, though I don't feel it was notably worse than my last performance. But the feeling was different, all the same. This tension and concentration is exactly what I normally feel, and that strangely haunting emotion I received just a minute ago is totally absent. Perhaps music really is that whimsical and strange, but it's a shame. It would have been nice if I could recall that again, but I have a feeling it's not going to come back. At least, not for today.

Of course, it's possible I was just being careless before. It's hard to tell the relaxation of intuitive talent from the relaxation of being sloppy.

We are applauded and praised once we were finished, and I finally got to return to my seat, since Mary demanded that Harry had 'cheated' and should at least play something on his own. So I sat down and smiled encouragingly at him as he started to play, and listened respectfully. The fact that the children of each family here can do it is proof… rather than music lovers, this is just part of the reputable, private school lives we lead. But classical music needs us, so I suppose it can manage that ignominy.

And now I can take the time to assess the wider situation, things seem to be going well. The two families are more similar than dissimilar, and now I can foil for Harry as well. I will credit Honoka for being able to entertain Mary and Leonard while we talk, and naturally Eikou is an excellent host. The meal was well received, and they also had a good chance to talk business. Most importantly for my purposes, Harry is interested in me, or at least doesn't mind passing time talking to me. Hopefully, this will give me a chance to turn my attention to Eikou-sama in the fullness of time. But in the meantime, the way to prove my competence to him is precisely to assist him with the Reynolds. There's no need to split my focus just yet; I simply have to continue as I am.

It's hard to imagine that things would go this smoothly if grandfather himself were handling this. Eikou-sama is talented, and I'm sure he also knows this. That is probably a good place to start, when I do begin to move.

I applauded when Harry had finished playing, nodding my head appreciatively. "Very good. You certainly had nothing to fear by following me."

Harry grinned, walking back to his seat. "I'm not sure about that, but thanks, all the same."

"That was very impressive, I can assure you," Eikou-sama said calmly.

"You're too kind. In any case, I'm afraid I have some work to take care of. Will you join me, Eikou?"

"It would be my pleasure."

"How about me, father?" Harry asked, turning his head. "Shall I assist you?"

"Thank you for the offer, but you should rest up for today," Andrew said. "It's nothing major."

"I see," Harry said, looking a little put out. Yes, it's important to remember he isn't simply an amicable young man, but the Reynolds heir.

"I'll leave him in your hands, Chikane-san," Andrew said, turning to me.

I smiled artificially, bowing my head. "As you say. It is an honour."

Another minor but important stage has been cleared.

"I see," Harry said, glancing at me. "What do you suggest? I wouldn't mind it if you could show me more of Tokyo-"

"Won't you play with us, brother? We'd like to spend time with Chikane too." Mary gave her brother a playful look. I have no objection to that. "Right, Leonard?"

"Yeah," Leonard said. "Come on, let's play games! Honoka too. It will be fun."

"Well, I don't know," Harry said, glancing at Honoka and me. "They say they want to play games. Is that okay with you two?"

"Sounds fun to me," Honoka said cheerfully. "Let's do it."

I nodded, smiling. "That sounds fine to me as well. Anything else would be a little unfair."

Games? I don't play them very much. I can get by in chess, shogi and Go, of course, but compared to my other fields of study I'm weak. Further, I don't think that was what they had in mind when they said games. Rolling dice, if that's what they mean, isn't too hard.

That wasn't what they meant, though, of course.

I blinked slowly as we settled into Leonard's room, looking down at the white thing in front of me. "This is a game console, right? A Wii?"

"Right. Do you play at all?" Harry glanced at Honoka. "And what language shall we use? This is difficult."

"I can manage English," Honoka said. "A little English, anyway. So what are we playing?"

Her pronunciation isn't very good, but it can't be helped. "I wonder. And no, I don't play at all."

"Seriously?" Honoka asked, glancing at me. "I mean, I don't have one but I've played quite a bit. One of my friends is into this stuff."

"I've never had a friend like that, so I've never learned," I said calmly, masking my apprehension. This, in particular, is wholly outside my expertise.

"Great! Concentrate, everyone," Honoka said brightly. "After this, we can say we've beaten Chikane Himemiya!"

I sighed. She really is a remarkably casual girl. I know she's younger, but I swear I had more sense of decorum at her age.

"Is that really such a big deal?" Mary asked, glancing sidelong at her. "You're way too excitable."

"You wouldn't know, but it's big," Honoka shot back, folding her arms and smirking. "I'm sure Harry-kun isn't too bad, but our Chikane is different. Anyone should get excited at the chance to beat her."

"Oh, really? Don't take us too lightly," Mary said. "I'll beat her, so you don't even have to think about comparing her to Harry."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. I'm your opponent." Honoka smirked, folding her arms. "We'll be putting the Himemiya name down, right, Miss Chikane?"

"Let's not get too carried away," Harry said urgently, turning towards us again. "It's just a friendly game… besides, there's only room for four players, so I'll sit out."

"No, I will!" Leonard said loudly. "I'll help her, so you can all race."

"That's the spirit," Honoka said.

"Traitor," Mary pouted.

I touched my forehead. What is it Himeko says? I don't really understand… now I know her feelings. This has somehow become something amazing and stupid, or just amazingly stupid.

The television yelped "Mario Kart, Wiii!" and left a bad impression. I ended up sitting in front of it, all the same, with a controller I could barely hold and only the shakiest idea of what was going on. "By the way, Honoka-san, when you were talking about the Himemiya earlier you said you'd put our name down. I think you meant, you'd put our name on the line, since as you said it you were literally putting us down…"

"Team Versus battle, right?" Honoka said. "Me and Chikane against you and Harry!"

She wasn't listening at all. In a way, it's really amazing a girl like this can be a Himemiya. Perhaps because she has a much older brother, she doesn't feel pressure?

"Sorry about this," Harry said, glancing up apologetically at me. "Mary's stubborn, so we'll have to put up with it. Since it's your first time, I'll go easy on you both."

Something irrational in me twitched. It's been a while since someone dared to say that. "No. Go all out from the start. I'll catch up to you."

"If you say so," Harry said dubiously, turning back to face the screen. He'll probably hold back, all the same.

If I pass him, he'll get serious, though.

Wait, why do I care about this silly game anyway?

"Can you understand what I'm saying, Chikane?" Leonard asked. He was kneeling on the bed behind me, looking down at me. "You can't play, right? I'll tell you how."

"I'm in your care," I said dryly.

"Move the Wii-mote to move the cursor and press A to select a character."

I did so. That seemed simple enough. They're all rather cutesy.

"The characters are divided into three weight classes. Small characters have better acceleration and handling, medium characters are balanced and large characters are faster and better able to ram people."

Oh. "What do you recommend?"

"Anything's fine, really."

I twitched. Why tell me all that stuff, then? I ended up selecting a ghost, on the general principle that ghosts are scary. Well, if I think about this logically, I should be able to phase through the course and cut every corner. Somehow I doubt that, though.

"King Boo, then? He's large. It seems like Princess Peach would suit you more, though."

"She has a stupid name," I replied eloquently. It looked like he was going to launch into another monologue about the choice of vehicle, so I picked the default to cut him off. After that, I was asked if I wanted to be manual or automatic. So many choices. When are we actually racing? "What now?"

"Racing manual lets you power-slide for boost by braking into a turn. That's hard, though. You probably want to be automatic, it's easier."

"Will that disadvantage me?" I asked.

"A little," Leonard said. "Manual makes things more complex, though."

"I'll be manual." I selected that. I might as well go down fighting.

Mary and Honoka appeared to be arguing about the course to select, with Harry mediating between them. I was happy to sit out on that one.

"Okay, now for the controls," Leonard said precisely. "A is accelerate, B is break. Like I said, break while turning to power-slide. The stick is steering. Z is use items…"

I looked carefully over the controller and narrowed my eyes, trying to remember anything. At least Leonard was crisp and precise. Unfortunately, if my music sense is 'weaker than I'd like', a euphemism for good, then my gaming sense… is zero.

This was going to be interesting, but the match-up was unfair from the start. Hopefully Honoka hasn't forgotten that.

Finally, the race began. "Press and hold A just after the 2 appears, and you'll get a boost from the start," Leonard said crisply.

There's more? My head's beginning to hurt. And that must have carried over since when the race started my cart… sorry, kart… exploded. I ended up crawling from the starting line behind everyone else. "That wasn't much of a boost."

"That happens if you miss the timing," Leonard explained. "It can't be helped. Even Harry gets that from time to time."

Mention that before. I gritted my teeth and did my best to follow, but just holding the controller was pretty difficult. I managed to aim, though, and hit one of the glowing boxes. A moment later, I hit the grass and slowed right down. Oh.

"You got Bullet Bill. Fire with Z!"

I blinked, and pressed Z. As Leonard-dono commands. I wasn't disappointed, though, since I turned into a very large black thing and shot past some innocent looking cows into the middle of the pack again, before being dropped there. "That was… rather good."

"The power-ups are sorted according to your place. You get the best ones if you're in last."

"How counter-intuitive," I said, hitting a ramp over a hillock before crashing into more grass. "So the game is telling me I'm bad."

"It's a come-back mechanic," Leonard explained.

I dragged myself out of the grass. "I'm going to need it." I hit another power-up box, but this one made me spin around. Annoyingly, the finishing line was already in sight.

"That's a booby-trap set by the enemy team. You can tell because it has different colours."

It did? I frowned. I'd have to concentrate on that. I limped over the line and into lap two.

Naturally, I lost that race by a mile, even though I got the big bullet of doom three times. Harry was first, Mary second, and Honoka fifth. She was yelling something about 'that damn shell', while Mary was just smirking.

"Come on, Chikane-san,"Honoka-san said. "I need you! I can't beat them both!"

"This is the first time she's played something like this," Harry said reasonably. "And it's just a game, so-"

"Don't worry," I said, cutting him off. "I will learn as fast as I can, then catch up."

"Right!" Honoka said, grinning.

"In English, in English," Mary complained.

In the second race, Harry came first again, while Honoka and Mary somehow contrived to drag themselves screaming from second and third to seventh and eighth, respectively. I came last again, but that was fine. The basic principles of the game had fallen into place.

In the third race, Honoka actually snatched first from the Red Team, leaving the siblings to take second and third. I came tenth, but I'd spent most of the second lap in fourth before an over-ambitious power slide over a cliff shot me into a fatal backwards slide. More importantly, I'd gathered enough material to analyse the situation.

In the final race I'd fight back with all my power, just as I'd promised. In the name of the Himemiya.

I had a few weapons on my side. The powerful power-ups and the come-back mechanic of scaling the power inverse to place is obviously friendly to inexperienced players, though the cliffs and grass were surprisingly difficult to deal with. Further, they meant that there weren't any certain bets. If I lucked-out on power-ups and my rivals happened to be crippled by circumstances, I would have a chance. That's quite an if, but it's more than I could ask for since I'd totally lose in a match of pure skill right now. Finally, I had Leonard, and I couldn't ask for a better second. Apart from his habit of explaining disasters after the fact, anyway. Perhaps he wants me to learn by doing.

"This track is fairly noob-friendly, with few traps, but it's longer than some. Stay in the river but avoid the waterfall in the last leg."

"Understood." I hit A a beat after the 2 appeared, exploding from the start in a comforting puff of flame. That only took me to the middle of the pack, but that was fine. I hit a boost ramp, grabbing an unclaimed power-up. The tight pack in the early game favours the power-ups of the middle and back karts far more than in the middle when they've split up. As I'd expected, I could barter my three boosts into an advantage, using the last to safely cut a corner over grass and coming into third place. I decided against taking the longer route to a jump for another power-up, sliding round the corner and boosting up another ramp. In a high place, the weak power-up wouldn't be worth the time diversion.

"The ghost is you, right?" Mary demanded. "Don't get in my way!"

I slid round the bend, keeping in the river. This was still a racing game, so of course it favours people who knew the course. But luck, reflexes and judgement can compensate to some degree, as can astutely reading the minimap. My boost brought me up to Mary and I used the chance to slam her into the grass. "Sorry for that."

Twenty seconds later she rammed a brown shell into my kart from behind and stole back second. More comfortingly, Honoka shot past me. But it's only the first lap. In this game, that's nothing. A blazing comeback is possible until the middle of the last.

Unfortunately, I didn't catch any breaks, falling all the way to eighth by the third lap. But my chance also game with a golden mushroom. A constant, time-limited boost that is powerful but requires judgement to use. It gave me back three places in my third race, just prior to driving me into a wall. If you can handle the pace, it's second only to the bullet. This time I waited until I hit the river stretch before exploding forwards, cutting across the grass and using slides to desperately control, almost crashing into a wall again. This time, though, I managed to slip past an infuriated Mary and into third, picking up a shell on my way down. Honoka was in second and Harry out of reach, so I shot it backwards.

"God damnit!"

I picked up another shell as we exploded into the final stretch, preparing to slide round the outside of the long bend. If I had a chance, I'd take it, but Honoka shot first, dead on- only for the shell to miss. A moment later, she hit the second of the three bananas and spun in a circle. I took the chance to overtake her. If I fired, I'd also waste my time. But my slide took me within range of Harry nonetheless… and there I could use slipstream to steal past him. Only that entailed clinging to the back of someone with a final trap.

He dropped it, and I barely skidded out of the way. No chance of slipstream.

The shell was clear. I fired, halting him instantly, and shot past him. The finish came two seconds later.

"Damn! Snatching first from me at the last moment, that bites," Harry complained, grimacing at me. He was serious. It's hard not to get into this, after all.

"I just got lucky, that's all," I replied politely. "With all the right power-ups."

"Harry, you suck," Mary complained. "But we won anyway. See? Our team has more points overall."

"The hell? That's just because our computer team-mates were useless, that's all!" Honoka insisted. "And Chikane made her promised come-back! Next time we'll beat you down."

"I'm a little tired, actually," Harry said, putting down his controller and standing up. "So I'm going to go for a walk. Leonard can join in instead, okay?"

"Do you have to?" Mary asked, glancing up at him. "That's not fair at all."

I stood as well. "Can I join you? This is all a little too intense for me."

"I'd like that."

"Then me too," Mary stood, standing. But Honoka caught her wrist.

"I'm not finished with you," Honoka insisted. "This time it'll be a one-on-one!"

"And me," Leonard pointed out.

"And you."

"Good luck. I'll see you all later," I said, waving and smiling. "And thank you for showing me something very fun."

"See? It's good, isn't it," Honoka said cheerfully.

I just nodded, letting Harry say good-bye as well. We left the room together, stepping out into the corridor. I sighed, exhaling and touching my cheeks. "That was tiring…"

"You did really well," Harry said. "To beat me to first in the last match was surprising. Was that really your first time on a games console?"

"More or less," I said idly. "I've played older ones once or twice on occasions, but nothing even semi-regularly. In any case, it's a game that favours that sort of development. Luck is a huge factor."

"If you say so," Harry remarked. "But it's not so easy a game that kind of progress is easy. You're a talented person."

"I don't think it's a very good measure of talent," I murmured. "In any case, you mostly won."

"That's just practise," he returned. "Just be glad you weren't playing the strongest Reynolds at games."

I blinked. "The strongest?"

Harry smiled. "Leonard blows me out of the water. He's beaten every Grand Prix with S-rank or above and has an online ranking of 8000." He shrugged when my expression went blank. "That means he plays it way too much."

I smiled slightly at that. "I see. No wonder he was such reliable support."

"I hope you enjoyed it, anyway," Harry said. "Mary and Honoka-san made it so competitive, I was worried you wouldn't enjoy the atmosphere."

"It was fine. I enjoyed it. I'd say there didn't seem to be much any of us could do to stop them, but…" I shrugged and smiled again. "I'm also a competitive person. I can relish an atmosphere like that. Provided I win, of course."

Harry laughed. "I see. I'm almost the same. I said I'd hold back, but when the race started and Mary and Honoka-san were so serious I went all out. I guess these things are easier said than done."

"You're still so-so," I said. "I would never have made such a silly promise to begin with." I blinked, frowning. "Besides which, is this really okay? Wouldn't English be easier for you?"

"I'm fine with this, since I can learn this way," Harry assured me. "Besides which, we've been forcing you to speak English all evening, since Mary and Leonard don't know it. This is my chance to compensate for that, maybe just a little."

"English is a language we can all speak," I said. "It might even be clearer for us than your attempts at Japanese."

Harry winced. "Ouch. That bad, eh?"

"No, you're pretty good." I smirked, turning away. "Don't take me too seriously."

"I'll try to remember that." Harry checked his watch. "But are you okay with going out at a time like this? I wouldn't mind seeing some of Tokyo, but it's pretty late."

I closed my eyes. "The time isn't a problem. But I'm not exactly knowledgeable about the area, since I arrived in Tokyo recently myself."

"Eh? Really?"

"Yes. I'm from Kobe, and the area around it more generally," I said vaguely. "I'm just here to attend the University of Tokyo."

"I see. But you're still part of the same family? You guys get around."

"Well, compared to America, this is a small country," I pointed out. "So it's not that bad. But you're right, the Himemiya are very dispersed. Every so often, we'll have a family gathering, but in-between those times we all take care of our respective parts of the country, and our respective business interests."

"I see," Harry said intelligently. "And your family handles Kobe?"

I cocked my head, considering, and decided to say it. "This is going to sound vulgar, but my family handles the entire Kyoto-Osaka-Kobe area, Keihanshin. Of course, we have branch families and employees to assist us, and that has very little to do with me."

"So you're a really important family," Harry said, looking vaguely impressed.

I chuckled. "It's interesting to hear that from Andrew Reynolds' son."

"Ah, well," Harry said, looking vaguely embarrassed, "it just feels different. It sounds like your family is very big. The idea of branch families doesn't exist for us to begin with."

It's not something you could create in an American society. But frankly, it's not really something to envy either. I shrugged instead. "The Himemiya have the momentum of a long time behind them, and that large family. That gives us unfair advantages. From where I stand, the Reynolds family that was made from nothing in a single generation is far more amazing."

"And from where I stand, there isn't any difference now," Harry replied, looking down at his hand. "What father did was impressive but if he just passes it to me we're just another dynasty. Even if he doesn't, he's given me many things already."

I gave him a sidelong look. "Feeling guilty?"

"It's not guilt," Harry said, glancing at me. "It's just something I'm aware of. You should understand, right?"

Being an unconditional heir with full expectation of taking the crown… no, that isn't something I can ever understand from where I am today. So I can't afford to feel any guilt, not with Isato out there and grandfather above me. "If you have doubts, aim higher," I advised. "If you feel confident enough to doubt what you've been given then rise above it and achieve a second miracle. Put your family in your lifetime so high above your current standing it is as big a leap as Andrew's first… that's what I'd aspire to do in your place, anyway. What you want to do is your own decision."

"You sure have an impressive way of putting it," Harry said. "That's not something I expected to hear from a Japanese person."

"And I wouldn't expect an American to doubt unrestricted greed," I teased. "Stereotypes are dangerous. In any case, let's put that all to one side. Talking about family for so long is very inelegant of me."

"No, it was interesting. Thank you for listening to me, even if it hasn't been very inspiring."

I sighed, smiling at him. You're a good person. But you're probably not someone who can wear a crown, not as you are. Perhaps you can be my friend… maybe you're already my friend. But you won't ever be my lover or my husband, so please settle for that while you're ahead. "In any case, do you still want to go out? There's this one place I know quite well, a park near to here."

"Really?" Harry said enthusiastically. "Can we go?"

I nodded. "You're lucky. It's the only place I know, more or less. Kinuta Park, Yoga."