Oh man.
My holiday was splendid, but unfortunately it was so relaxing I got no writing done whatsoever! What with that and the start of the Olympics (GO GB!) I literally wrote this chapter in one day. Hopefully from now on I'll be back to more regular updates - sorry! Thanks again for sticking around.
Liz xxx
Chapter 10
Wow. This was hard.
After Blaine finished speaking I left him a few seconds of silence before doing anything. To be honest I needed them too. All those memories – jeez. They really had been perfect. I remembered I'd closed all of my accounts, credit cards, email addresses, to change my name to Mr Hummel-Anderson. I wanted the world to know I was married to the most glorious perfect man. And he was. At that time he was my everything.
"Was that good enough for you?" The sadness in Blaine's voice tinged with the bitter edge of resentment made my stomach clench. For a second all I wanted was to reach out and touch his hand, the one that was now clasped in his lap the way he always did when he was upset. I wanted to, but I didn't. That would only have made the situation worse.
"It was great." I simply replied. That had almost the same effect. Blaine withdrew further, bringing his hand up towards his chest before he realised what he was doing and simply shifted back further into his seat.
"What happened after the wedding?" The man asked. I turned my attention away from my husband to answer him.
"Well we didn't go on a honeymoon. We wanted to save the money."
"Your money." I ignored the retort.
"We stayed living in our flat and Blaine carried on with his studies. I started looking for a studio."
At the sound of the buzzer I jerked to attention, rushing to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Kurt? It's me." My heart sank.
"Oh, hi Rachel. I'll buzz you up." Pressing the button next to the intercom I walked off back to the blueprints I had been analysing and waited for my friend to arrive. When the main door opened and the clip clop of heels filled the room I turned around and saw her smiling back at me.
"Hey!" Running towards me I felt her arms wrap around me and sighed, hugging her back before we pulled away and she noticed my expression.
"Hey. A 'hi Rachel, it sure is nice to see you' would be nice." Immediately my pallor reddened.
"Sorry." It had been a long day and there was only really one person I wanted to see.
"Is Blaine not here yet?"
"No." Immediately my best friend understood. Rubbing my shoulder sympathetically she said nothing for a few seconds, before gazing round the room we were standing in and looking impressed.
"Wow Kurt. Is this all yours?"
"Yup." It certainly was. The studio was huge – probably the size of half a football pitch. It had taken a lot of negotiating to get it, especially with the prime location, and it would need a little fixing up – but it was mine.
"This is amazing." Taking a little skip around the space, her neat red skirt fluttering about a little as she did so, Rachel laughed – spreading out her arms and spinning in a circle like she was in the sound of music. "Wahoo!" I chuckled, watching her dance around until my attention was once again captured by the blueprints. My phone sat patiently next to them, silent and stationary, no matter how many times I checked it. Blaine would be here. He was just busy. Not that this wasn't one of the most important moments of my career or anything but hey. He was busy.
(*)
"Whatcha doooing?" Rachel called out again, beginning to return to my stationary position and I looked up, twirling a pen round in my hand.
"Just checking the blueprints." She waltzed up behind me and peeked over my shoulder, obviously not understanding any of it.
"Woah, that looks complicated."
"It is." She pushed me lightly to the side so she could get a better look and leant closer, so her nose was almost touching the paper.
"Don't you have somebody to do this for you?"
"Of course I will. The builders will be in tomorrow. But I need to check everything first."
"Ah cool. And what about Diego?" I'd set about hiring myself a part time assistant – nothing fancy, just somebody to keep track of the things in my schedule that I couldn't.
"He's coming tomorrow too. I kinda wanted this moment to just be me." And Blaine. I didn't say the final words but I didn't need to. My eyes glanced briefly up to the clock and I had to hold back the sinking feeling that threatened to come out.
"So…"
"How is Teen Vogue?" Immediately taking the bait Rachel launched herself into an in depth description of how her internship was going. She seemed to be having a whale of a time and would be going on a couple of photo shoots in the next few weeks.
"It's amazing."She finished, almost gazing out into space as she thought of it. "Just amazing. But I'd still much rather be doing what you're doing."
"What? This?" I replied, gesturing round in surprise. Rachel nodded.
"Yes. I may be working but I'm still working for someone else. Starting your own business, your own line – well that's the dream."
(*)
I was about to respond, say something reassuring and give her a big hug, when suddenly the buzzer sounded and all other thoughts went out the window.
"Hello?"
"I'm sorry I'm sorr-" Not even letting him finish I pressed the button, my whole body suddenly alive again. I waited by the door almost bouncing up and down until when someone finally came through it I threw my arms around them – taking them completely off guard.
"Woah!" Blaine called out, almost losing his balance and having to grab onto the door to stay upright. I ignored his cry and simply pressed my face harder into his neck. I had been waiting all day for this moment and wasn't going to let it go.
"Kurt, Kurt, let me breathe." Finally releasing my vice-like grip I pulled away slightly and stared back at my husband. He looked flustered – like he'd been in a rush to get here – and his hair was a little messy, although I didn't know how much of that had been created by my assault just now.
"Hey baby." I said. Blaine's previous annoyance seemed to melt away as we stared at each other and as I leant forward to kiss him deeply he met me eagerly.
"I'm so sorry I was late." He replied once we broke away. I kept my body pressed against his and ran my fingers through his hair, attempting to straighten it out a bit but enjoying the feeling of the curls against my skin.
"I was worried." My response was supposed to be playfully serious – expressing the annoyance and worry I had faced before his arrival – but instead it just came out how it always did when I saw him after a long while. Lovesick.
"Oh hi Rachel." It was funny how often this scenario happened. Rachel and I would be talking and Blaine would appear to just completely command my attention. I suppose I should feel bad about it, but she was used to it now.
"Hi." Blaine walked over, taking me with him and gave her a half hug and a kiss on the cheek. He really was such a gentleman.
"How are you?"
"Good thanks. How's the Gringlends stuff going?" My husband rolled his eyes.
"It's going. Gonna be a while before it's sorted yet." Now that he was finally here I was eager to show Blaine the fruits of my labours, dragging him over to the blueprints and positioning him right in the centre.
"Look!" I exclaimed, excitedly pointing at the paper. "This is it!"
"Wow." Finally taking a look around the room Blaine's eyes widened – he glanced at me then back at the prints and started tracing round parts with his fingers. "This is really all yours?"
"Yup!" I slipped in front of him, pulling one of his arms round my waist and snuggling my head into the crook of his neck as I pointed more things out. Rachel looked on in amusement at my sudden change in persona to a 10 year old showing their Daddy a painting they did at school and then checked her pager.
"Oh shoot – I've gotta go Kurt, they just called me in at the office." Diverting my attention for a second I looked back at her and made my put out face, even though I wasn't really.
"Oh, ok. See you soon." As she gathered together all her things, giving me a pat on the shoulder and Blaine another kiss on the cheek as she left, I looked back at the drawings and immersed myself in them until the door finally closed shut.
(*)
"Kuuurt." Turning back in surprise I saw Blaine looking at me disapprovingly.
"What?"
"You know what. You could have at least said bye to Rachel properly." I could feel him drawing away from me slightly, obviously as punishment for my poor friendship skills and I sulked, reaching out to pull his arm in closer again.
"She's busy. The office called her in didn't you hear?"
"Even so. You kinda just left her."
"Well I was ancy because you were late ok?" Immediately his face dropped. I knew it was a bum move and tried to redeem myself, but the damage was already done.
"I said I was sorry about that. Tyler and I had to do some more stuff about the apprenticeship." Pulling him closer again I stroked his hair and kissed his neck, now cursing myself.
"I know, I know, of course you have to do that. But can't you talk through that kind of stuff with me?" My husband raised his eyebrows.
"No offence Kurt, but Tyler knows a hell of a lot more about accounting than you do."
"But it seems like you're always with him and this is one of the most important moments of my life and I want you here but you're not and-" Finally I was silenced. Blaine kissed me deeply, mostly to shut me up but also to show a reassurance that rang true and clear.
"Baby," he started, almost laughing, "I can assure you that most of the time I am with Tyler I am wishing I was with you. I've been looking forward to this moment just as much as you have, and I'm here now. Yeah? I'm here." I sighed. He was right. It was stupid to be getting het up about the little things when in fact, he was here. He'd made a huge effort to get here and now he was. We were together.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, suddenly feeling terrible. Blaine wiped his finger under my eye even though there weren't any tears and nuzzled his nose with mine.
"It's ok silly. Now do you want to show me where everything's gonna go?"
(*)
As I danced around the studio, pulling Blaine from one place to the next, sometimes marking out the counters and pretending to be hat stands or drawers, I really did feel like a child. I was 7 years old again and this was my Wendy house – except now it was real and a lot bigger. Blaine was completely enwrapped, taking in everything I said, and when eventually we ran out of energy and sat down on the abandoned sofa cushions that had been left in the corner of the room he put his arm round me and held me close.
"Wow." He said, still looking round the vast space with as much amazement as I had when I'd first seen it. "I can't believe this is going to be your business."
"It's crazy isn't it?" All those years of picking out fabrics, dreaming out designs and planning fashion shows. They were finally going to happen.
"I'm so proud of you Kurt." Blaine suddenly said. He shifted to face me a little more and looked deep into my eyes, conveying his pride clearly to me. "You have achieved so much. Not just with your parents help – on your own too."
"Thanks." I mumbled in reply, beginning to feel emotional. My husband smiled, kissing me softly and keeping the blissful look on his face as we pulled away. "You've achieved lots too."
"Pfft." At this he waved me away, obviously discarding the comment.
"Hey! You have! What did Tyler say? You're the first freshman to ever get an apprenticeship?" Blaine blushed, shying away and trying not to make it look like a big deal.
"Yeah, maybe."
"You're the only one Blaine. And you're doing your sophomore and junior years together! You're a freakin genius!" He laughed, pushing me lightly but at the same time pulling me even closer afterwards.
"I wouldn't go that far. But thanks."
"I'm proud of you too." I said, wanting to make it as clear as he had. "I'm so proud."
(*)
One of the blueprints caught the breeze from a window that had been left open. It fell off the table, dancing across the concrete floor until it finally hit the furthest away wall, slightly folding one of the corners. It stuck there – like somebody had used glue – and stayed, mapping out the future of my career, and life.