Chapter 10 – White Rooms

Sacramento.

13 months earlier.

"What do you mean, I found you?" she said to him, her voice scratchy.

He reluctantly let go of her hand to grab a water jug from the table beside them and poured a small amount into a plastic tumbler as he explained. "You just showed up in the emergency room this evening. To begin with...they didn't know who you were and you were barely conscious."

He omitted the part where she'd first been diagnosed as a run of the mill junkie who had sought refuge for the night and had hastily been pushed to the back of the queue, only her collapse in the ER and the eagle eyes of a kindly nurse alerting the others in attendance that she was the missing CBI agent who'd been on the news.

He omitted raising bloody hell when he'd saw the state she was in when he arrived. He'd flown past the doctor who was explaining her condition to Cho and the others, opened every door until he'd found her. He'd had to do a double-take when he had, his legs almost buckling from under him when he'd seen her for the first time in weeks. Petite already, she'd shrunk even further in size, reminding him of a child in an adult's bed as she lay under the covers in the private hospital room. She was unconscious, attached to a heart monitor and drip, and he'd tiptoed in to get a better look at her. A large bruise covered her left cheek, turned yellow and purple by the passing of time. He imagined it was a week to ten days old by the discolouration. His ire increased when he saw her dark hair matted against her skull, her soft sleek chestnut tresses turned into a greasy lank mess the colour of crude oil. He noted her fingernails, broken and dirty, the skin around them chewed away into angry red blotches.

He'd blown his lid at the doctor who approached with Cho and the rest of the team a few seconds later. "Why hasn't she been washed?! I want her cleaned up now, do you hear me?! You worried her insurance won't cover it? Fine, put it on my tab-"

"Jane," Cho had cut in, steadfastly refusing to look at the figure in the bed until he dealt with Jane's outburst, "they were right not to. We need to gather trace evidence from her before that can happen. Techs are on their way. You know the procedure and it's what she would want done." Cho, to his credit, held his ground between a highly aggrieved Jane and the doctor, who looked frightened for his life.

Eventually, Jane had taken a shaky step back, nodding furiously. Of course, Cho and the doctors had been correct but his heart had constricted and he'd lost any rationality as soon as he'd seen her. The small figure in the bed wasn't his Lisbon and he had desperately wanted to rid her of the marks of the past fortnight as soon as possible.

He'd turned his voice to a whisper. "All right. What-What happened to her? Why isn't she awake?"

His world, already spinning wildly on its axis, came crashing down around him as the doctor explained what she had been subjected to from their observations.

...

He jolted himself out of the memories of the day before and smiled at the now freshly cleaned Teresa Lisbon before him. "Can you manage a sip or two?" he asked her.

She nodded, looking around her surroundings more clearly. She tried to sit up in the bed but Jane was ahead of her, cranking a button on the metal frame to raise her head and pillows up instead. "Just relax, let the wonder of mechanics do the work for you," he smiled.

She saw the worry behind his relaxed bedside manner and glanced at her arms as she shifted in the bed. She watched his eyes flicker to them briefly, saw his brow crinkle in response, noticed him attempt to stifle any further anxious reaction. They were bandaged up but she knew what lay beneath, could tell he did too.

"I've no idea how I got here. I can't remember," she admitted.

"We checked security footage but either you were left outside the entrance or somehow made your way to it. Somehow you staggered your way into the ER."

She frowned. "I need to make a statement on what I do recall."

"There's no rush on that," he said, sitting back down opposite her again. "I know it's pretty stupid asking you this but, how are you?"

She thought about his question for a few moments before she shrugged. "I have no idea, really. This doesn't feel entirely real just yet. I thought I was going to..." Her words trailed off and she bit down on her bottom lip to stop tears welling up.

Jane swallowed, shifted his questioning to more practical matters before he lost the ability to think straight. "Were you kept in the same location all the time?"

She nodded and fidgeted with her fingers, noticing her nails were filed neatly for the first time in days. She felt her hair, soft again around her shoulders. She'd never been one for long hairdressing appointments or manicures but she almost wept at feeling clean for the first time in ages. Clean on the outside, at least, she tagged on to her thoughts.

"Yes. A white room." She glanced around her. "Similar to this one, actually," she said quietly, looking back at her hands again. Then her eyes shot up to his again and she added quickly, her tone suddenly panicked, "But damn it! I never saw their faces, Jane."

"You didn't?"

She shook her head wildly. "No, never. I thought it was a good sign-"

"That it meant they didn't want to kill you? Yes. Well, that part must be true although...although they came pretty damn close, Lisbon."

"How bad a state was I in when I arrived here?"

He shook his head, attempted a cheery smile. "Let's just say I've seen you look better."

"That bad, huh?"

"Doesn't matter," he shrugged. "All that does is that you're back."

She nodded. "Yeah, I just wish I could identify them-"

He took her hand again and rubbed its fingers gently to relax her and to feel the reassurance of her touch in return. "Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it."

"What was it?" she asked after a second or two, after taking a sip of the water offered in his other hand.

Distracted, "Hmm?"

"What was I injected with?"

He blinked twice. "You were never told what it was?"

Tears pricked at her eyes that she swallowed away. "No."

He dropped her hand and settled the cup back on the table. Then he got up from his chair and swept his hand through his hair. She could feel the rage radiate off him as he paced the few steps back and forth beside the window, his hands tucked deep in his pockets. "Some kind of heroin compound," he said quietly with his back to her.

"I thought it was something like that," she replied, surprised at the lack of emotion in her tone.

A few beats passed in silence between them. Then she suddenly realised she wasn't suffering from dreadful withdrawal, that she could coherently think and talk. Her eyes flew to the IV line in her hand. "What's in there? I want it out of me. Now." She went to pull at the tube and Jane rushed over to still her hand.

"You need fluids, Lisbon. Just for a little while. You're severely dehydrated."

She caught his eyes. "That's all that's in there? Some kind of saline solution? You promise?"

His brief hesitation was enough for her to push his hand away roughly and pull the IV from her vein. Blood erupted and squirted from the top of her hand immediately and she grimaced in pain. "I'm done with being some kind of lab rat, do you hear me?!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Jane grabbed a tissue from beside them, his eyes on stalks at her sudden burst of energy and anger as he attempted to staunch the blood flow. "Jesus, Lisbon! You need what's in that IV. You think I'd allow them to inject you with something they shouldn't?"

"What is it? Methadone or something like that, right?" she countered, her tone feral.

"Yes, but-"

"No, Jane! No more damn drugs. No more, not ever again. You can get addicted to that stuff too. I'm not swapping one drug for another!"

He grasped her hand tighter to clot the blood. "The heroin withdrawal will be too painful without it, Teresa. And the dosage will be regulated, less and less each time so you won't experience the severity of withdrawal side effects. Just for a little while, okay? It'll be controlled and it won't be forever."

"No," she said, pulling her hand away from him. Her anger was replaced by a flood of tears moments later. "No more," she whispered through her sobs. She put her hands up to her face and wept openly before him, her knees against her chest as she rocked back and forth. He stood beside her for a few seconds with his mouth hanging open, unsure of what to do. He'd seen her lose a few stray tears over the years but never break down like this. The sight of her, the strongest woman he'd ever known in his life, so lost and fragile in front of him shocked him to his core. Part of him was afraid if he comforted her she'd only push him away further. But the temptation to hold her in his arms was too great and he moved swiftly and pulled her against him. "Okay," he whispered. "Okay, if that's what you want. No more."

She flung her arms around his neck and cried. "Promise me," she whispered into his ear through ragged breaths.

Through choked breaths of his own, "I'd promise never to cause you trouble ever again right now if that's what you want," he said as he began to stroke her hair. "Or a trip to the moon. Whatever you want, Teresa, it's yours."

She drew her head back from him, her red-rimmed eyes staring into his. "Then get me out of here," she said, her breath catching in her throat. "I just want to go home, Jane. Please just take me home."

He began to rub her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "All right. I'll see what I can do."

Sacramento.

Present Day.

"This is it?" she frowned. They were in a fairly run down but quiet neighbourhood just on the outskirts of the city limits. The red brick exterior housed a detached three-storey building that looked industrial in nature by the grey steel double fronted door and the functional uniform half bar windows on each floor. It was set off the main road with a padlocked metal fence covering its entrance, its concreted driveway extending towards the back of the property.

Jane responded, "It was a branch office of a bank that had to downsize when the economy took a hit. Been closed for a few years. Smaller branches in the less populated parts of the city had to close, I guess."

She hadn't consciously thought about it until this moment but she'd conjured up an image of something much more devilish than a nondescript rectangular structure as the scene of her imprisonment. It seemed much too ordinary to have borne witness to the horror inside. Although she wondered why she'd ever thought it would be different for her. After all, she'd seen enough crime scenes in her day to know the depravity of what sometimes lay inside buildings just like the one her eyes were trained on now.

"I know, appears frighteningly innocuous, doesn't it?" he added at her side as they sat in his car.

"It was raided by accident?" she confirmed. "That's how it was found?" She shook her head at the unlikely turn of events that had brought Jane back into her life again.

"Yeah, FBI had been watching 4130 Lobella Avenue for some time, suspected a counterfeiting operation was going on there and enlisted help from Sac PD when the time came to move on it. But there was a mix up in the chain of command somewhere along the line and some units from Sac PD went to 4730 instead. So instead of finding counterfeit cash-"

"-They found Jessica Wells instead." Lisbon nodded thoughtfully. "She was dead when they found her, according to their statements."

Quietly, "Yeah she was. But only just."

She nodded, talking more to herself than to Jane. "Mmm. One of the officers reported her body was still warm and that he made attempts to resuscitate but it was too late. Coroner confirmed it was a massive heroin overdose as cause of death."

A beat passed in silence. Then she turned around in her seat to face Jane and not the building. "They killed her and made their escape when they saw the cops coming, that's what you suspect, right?"

He nodded. "Yes. Cameras were found on the roof that gave them clear line of sight of the road in either direction. Sac PD sent in four or five SUVs to participate in the raid so highly noticeable in a quiet neighbourhood like this one. There's additional parking and an exit around the back behind the fire door. They could have been on the freeway within two minutes if trained to move quickly. Which they obviously were."

"And Sac PD would have only looked at the specs of the building they were supposed to raid, not this one so-"

"They would have been gone before the cops even realised they had the wrong address."

"Traffic cams?"

"Blind spot, unfortunately."

She huffed, "They pick their locations cleverly. Same as the warehouse where they took me. Makes it virtually impossible to track them."

"Yes, I doubt it's a fluke in their choice of venues. They're meticulous in their planning."

She nodded. "All adds up to some kind of military or ex-military involvement. You already suspected that because of their ability to disappear fast as well, I assume?"

"And the larger male you told us about, you thought he was a veteran, right? Seems to point that way, wouldn't you agree? That whoever is in charge recruits ex-military or mercenaries for muscle or perhaps even assistance with operational planning."

"Yeah, sounds about right. Happy to take orders, do what they're told and stay quiet for a quick buck." Bitterness spilled into her tone and she exhaled sharply thinking about the man she'd repeatedly begged to let her go only to have silence greet her in return as a response.

"You okay?" Jane asked softly, noticing her loss of composure.

"Fine," she snapped, taking a deep breath. Her thoughts turned to Jessica Wells instead, easier for her to remain detached when she focused on someone else's misery than her own history in the building beside her. "Jessica was only missing for two days prior to them finding her...that's not nearly long enough time for him...them...to go through their normal routine."

Her voice picked up speed, a crinkle appearing in her brow as she thought, "So, if you're right about there being other victims then chances are they'll try again as soon as they've had time to find and set up someplace new if whoever's in charge didn't get the thrill they wanted this time."

He smiled in admiration as he noticed the cop in her resurface with passion. "I suspect so, yes."

She sighed and nodded grimly. "Then we better hope I find a lead in there." She pushed her shoulders back and unbuckled her seatbelt. "Okay, let's get this over with. Hope you brought your lockpick set with you for that padlock on the gate."

He tapped his vest pocket with a short smile. "Never leave home without it, Lisbon."

Once inside she saw him watching her carefully, quite obvious in his appraisal of her mental state with every step they took. Her eyes scanned everywhere as they made their way to the top floor by way of a white stone staircase inlaid with black metal posts, bypassing what was once the main customer service area on the ground floor and the small offices that lay beyond it.

"Nothing?" he couldn't help ask her as they stood in the corridor on the top floor, the silence encroaching on uncomfortable.

She shook her head. "I don't remember how I got into that room, or how I got out of it."

He pointed to a room at the far end with a white door. "That's it."

She breathed out slowly and nodded. As she made a purposeful step in the direction towards it, he brushed his fingers across her lower arm to stop her. "There's something else you might want to see first."

"What is it?"

He nodded to a door a few feet away. "The...observation room, for want of a better description," he shrugged.

Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh. Okay."

A few steps later and they entered it. It was a small enclosed office like any other but she felt a chill in her bones immediately and drew her jacket around her for comfort. A psychosomatic response that didn't surprise her. She'd made a mental note of the evidence found and removed from here already – monitors and a camera, blank tapes.

"They took the tapes of Jessica Wells with them?" she confirmed as she drew her hand across the only desk that remained in the room. The existence of tapes had come as a mild surprise to her when she'd read the case file, the implication of them personally shaming and hard to bear.

"Yes, we presume so."

She nodded and swallowed slightly. Someone had watched and recorded her from the very spot she was standing in. Had watched her distress and torment, her mighty tumble from strong badass cop to a wretched pitiful mess. Not only watched it but more than likely enjoyed it, kept recordings of it to relive the thrill over and over, again and again. She felt the anger swell in her and turned her right hand into a tight fist before taking a deep breath and relaxing it slowly in an attempt to calm herself down.

"You should embrace the anger, Lisbon," Jane said at her side, "not fight it right now. If anything, it'll help."

She turned sharply and squinted her eyes at him. "How will getting angry help?"

"It'll help with your focus."

She scoffed, "You think I'm not focused on what I need to do in that room?"

"At the moment you're focusing on Jessica, not yourself. For what happens next, you need to think about what happened to you in there, not her. You need to stop distancing yourself from the trauma if this has any chance of success. You need to remember it, embrace it even. You need to face it."

"That's why you wanted me to come in here first," she stated. "To get...riled up. To put myself back in that room again mentally before I see it."

He licked his lips and shifted on his toes as he looked to the ground. "Yes. I wish there was another way and...you must know how much I hate putting you through this-"

Neutrally, "You're not. I agreed to come and do this, Jane. There's no guilt in this for you, okay?"

He looked up at her again and shook his head. "Hard to break the habit of a lifetime."

A minute or two later, he nodded to her and opened the door at the end of the corridor. An expanse of white hit her in the face and she took a step back from the door frame in response. She closed her eyes and breathed out.

"I'm right here." Jane's soft tone sounded in her ear, his fingers lingering on her lower back. How often had she dreamt of him saying those words to her when she'd been imprisoned here? Of finding comfort in the softness of his touch?

She opened her eyes with a nod, searching the room with them before taking a step forward. The gurney and the table had been removed but the steel toilet remained. She recalled the multitude of times she had her head bent over that thing. Tentatively she walked inside. She turned to Jane. "Can you...just wait at the door, just to make sure-"

"It stays open? Of course." He leaned against the door frame, his hands shoved into his pockets as she left him behind.

She stood in the middle of the room, a chill going up her spine again as she looked around. She stared up through the skylight, willing something useful to come to her that could be used to catch those responsible. Something other than pain and addiction and misery. Even with the door open and Jane's presence it still felt like the walls were closing in on her. She fought hard against the impulse to flee.

A few moments passed as she silently viewed the small space over and over, staring at the walls and skylight, even at the toilet basin for some new information that might help, some clue to the identity of those responsible. Finally, she uttered, her tone defeated, "Damn it, I-I can't remember anything new, Jane. Nothing." She shook her head and shrugged. "I'm...I'm sorry."

He took a step forward and saw the panic in her eyes immediately at him leaving his post at the door. He stopped and said, "I'll be right back. You okay?"

She nodded with a frown. Less than a few seconds later she heard him outside pulling something off a wall. He returned with a red fire extinguisher and lodged it against the open door. "Okay?"

"Uh?-"

"Just so I can come in," he explained.

"Right," she nodded. "Sorry, I'm...I'm being a neurotic mess, I know there's no lock on the door and it's perfectly safe here now, it's just-"

"You don't need to explain," he said with a soft smile as he came to stand opposite her in the centre of the room. "And as for being a neurotic mess, I'd say you were coping admirably, considering the circumstances."

"Thank you but this was still a waste of time in any case." She went to move past him.

"Maybe not," he said, making her stop and look at him again.

He licked his lips and she picked up on his anxiety immediately. "You're talking about hypnosis, aren't you?" she said, more a statement than a question.

"Just a light trance."

"I don't know," she replied quickly, the thought of having her mind probed in this room accelerating her heartbeat. She'd lost control of herself once here already; the thought of it happening again was terrifying.

He took her two hands in his and looked deep into her eyes. He spoke purposefully. "I'm not going to trick you into it. It has to be your decision. But you know it's the best chance we have at producing a result."

"You could have had me under by now if you wanted, I know that. I appreciate you...you giving me the choice."

"You're in control, Teresa. Not me. Certainly not your memories of this place. And if you don't want to do it that's okay. We might catch a break with forensics."

A beat passed. "And you might not. So...no, it's not okay. And I need to try everything I can while I'm here or there was no point coming at all." She nodded and swallowed thickly as she looked down, mentally preparing herself. "Okay, in for a penny as they say."

"All right then. You need to close your eyes, you know how this works."

When he felt her pulse rate increase he grasped her hands tighter in his, turned his voice smooth like silk. "I'm right here with you, Teresa, I'm not going anywhere. Nothing can harm you now. You're here with me and you're safe."

She glanced up at him quickly, a flush coming to her cheeks at the memory of him saying similar words to her before. He flushed in return, stammered, "I-I swear that was not where my mind was just at."

She emitted a short chuckle, surprising both of them and shook her head. "I know. But, well, it broke the tension some, at any rate."

"And turned up the temperature in here by about ten degrees thinking about that night," he smiled. He turned his tone serious again and squeezed her hands. "Now, ready?"