Hi again, folks. More pancakey splatting coming soon! But first . . .
Tarilenea: Dear Valar . . . you reviewed *every single chapter*? You are *mad*! I'm glad you found it so funny. Don't worry about the maths thing, I'm not too good at that stuff either. I've had a couple of people tell me about narcoleptic Celeborn, and the image seemed to fit. Don't be concerned about being a chocolate addict, or about getting high on gingerbread fumes. There's nothing wrong with that.
Legolas Stalker Tay: Thunk as the past tense of think . . . interesting.
LegozGurl: Mmmm . . . waffles . . .
Jagwen: Glad you think so.
Little-Lost-One: The things you learn.
Az: Yay! Bombadil splatting!
Imbefaniel: Thanduril may try, but I think he's more likely to get splatted.
Zephyr: Don't worry, this review keeps you safe from the evil of the pancakers. Although not from your room-mate's laughter.
Mysterious Reviewer: Aw, please.
Maybe Tonight: It would indeed. But wouldn't this mean sharing power? There is only one lord of the pancakes, and he does not share power.
KinkyFrodo: I take it you want that job, then?
Chelsea Tyler: If you're a Haldir fan, just go and comfort him. I'm sure he'll love it.
Lainy: Alright, alright! You can help too! I've added more now. And if I run out of ME characters to get (in, what, three years?) I may yet bring him over here. Just wait and see.
Pirate Captain Kimi the Great: Peanut butter and syrup? Hmm . . . Writing more, oh Great One.
Anon: Either that, or they'll come and be perfect at us. Ugh.
Fuzzy Hobbit: Um . . . yes. I'll read it when I have time. Merry again? What do you have against him?
Merrylyn: Lots of ideas here. I couldn't splat you (if that's what you meant), you couldn't review any more! Lots of good alternatives, though. I hadn't even thought of Eomer. And you couldn't attack us with pancakes! It wouldn't be nice!
Elanhin: Yup, that's the point alright.
gAmBiT: Haldir was bored. And irony is great. (Irony: Sort of like a metal)
Okay, that's them. Lovely people, those reviewers. Now then . . . up until now I've tried to avoid making Legolas splat anyone during the time when either the film or the book is following the narrative. However, I'm about to abandon this policy. If anyone has any serious objections to this, can they review and tell me so I can correct it, please. Otherwise, more splats will be heard. But for now . . .
Lost pancake Tales Three: Gandalf
(This is going to be book based. The Fellowship have just fled the Chamber of Records in Moria, and Gandalf has remained behind to seal the door against the Orcs)
- "Do as I say!" said Gandalf fiercely. "Swords are no more use here. Go!"
As the other eight members of the fellowship fled down the stairs, Gandalf the Grey leaned against the door. Orcs were on the other side, but they were of no real consequence. He was powerful enough to seal the door in a moment, although it could of course still be broken. No, more dangerous was the malevolent spirit he could feel drawing near.
Something came to the far side. It grasped the handle of the door, and perceived his spell. It began to weave a counter-spell, but was not strng enough to counter the will of one of the Istarii. Then Gandalf felt a rush of air next to him, and . . .
SPLAT!
The shock of the pancake hitting him broke his concentration, and the Thing on the other side began to break through. In confused desperation, the wizard spoke a word of Command.
The stone door splintered, and the chamber beyond it shattered. Gandalf was thrown backwards down the stairs, but not before glimpsing, stepping through a blue portal to his right, the tall figure of an elf, holding a stack of pancakes.
Gandalf decided not to mention this to the group.
* * * *
Yes, I know, it's getting shorter again. But I'm starting to run out of inspiration. I felt it was necessary to splat the entire Fellowship before moving on to some of the more . . . exotic characters, so hopefully more interesting things will happen soon. We can only hope.
And one more thing. Apart from my usual request for reviews, I'd like to ask anyone I actually *know* who is reading this chapter to please review so I can tell how many of you there are. But everyone else is welcome to do so too.
hS
Tarilenea: Dear Valar . . . you reviewed *every single chapter*? You are *mad*! I'm glad you found it so funny. Don't worry about the maths thing, I'm not too good at that stuff either. I've had a couple of people tell me about narcoleptic Celeborn, and the image seemed to fit. Don't be concerned about being a chocolate addict, or about getting high on gingerbread fumes. There's nothing wrong with that.
Legolas Stalker Tay: Thunk as the past tense of think . . . interesting.
LegozGurl: Mmmm . . . waffles . . .
Jagwen: Glad you think so.
Little-Lost-One: The things you learn.
Az: Yay! Bombadil splatting!
Imbefaniel: Thanduril may try, but I think he's more likely to get splatted.
Zephyr: Don't worry, this review keeps you safe from the evil of the pancakers. Although not from your room-mate's laughter.
Mysterious Reviewer: Aw, please.
Maybe Tonight: It would indeed. But wouldn't this mean sharing power? There is only one lord of the pancakes, and he does not share power.
KinkyFrodo: I take it you want that job, then?
Chelsea Tyler: If you're a Haldir fan, just go and comfort him. I'm sure he'll love it.
Lainy: Alright, alright! You can help too! I've added more now. And if I run out of ME characters to get (in, what, three years?) I may yet bring him over here. Just wait and see.
Pirate Captain Kimi the Great: Peanut butter and syrup? Hmm . . . Writing more, oh Great One.
Anon: Either that, or they'll come and be perfect at us. Ugh.
Fuzzy Hobbit: Um . . . yes. I'll read it when I have time. Merry again? What do you have against him?
Merrylyn: Lots of ideas here. I couldn't splat you (if that's what you meant), you couldn't review any more! Lots of good alternatives, though. I hadn't even thought of Eomer. And you couldn't attack us with pancakes! It wouldn't be nice!
Elanhin: Yup, that's the point alright.
gAmBiT: Haldir was bored. And irony is great. (Irony: Sort of like a metal)
Okay, that's them. Lovely people, those reviewers. Now then . . . up until now I've tried to avoid making Legolas splat anyone during the time when either the film or the book is following the narrative. However, I'm about to abandon this policy. If anyone has any serious objections to this, can they review and tell me so I can correct it, please. Otherwise, more splats will be heard. But for now . . .
Lost pancake Tales Three: Gandalf
(This is going to be book based. The Fellowship have just fled the Chamber of Records in Moria, and Gandalf has remained behind to seal the door against the Orcs)
- "Do as I say!" said Gandalf fiercely. "Swords are no more use here. Go!"
As the other eight members of the fellowship fled down the stairs, Gandalf the Grey leaned against the door. Orcs were on the other side, but they were of no real consequence. He was powerful enough to seal the door in a moment, although it could of course still be broken. No, more dangerous was the malevolent spirit he could feel drawing near.
Something came to the far side. It grasped the handle of the door, and perceived his spell. It began to weave a counter-spell, but was not strng enough to counter the will of one of the Istarii. Then Gandalf felt a rush of air next to him, and . . .
SPLAT!
The shock of the pancake hitting him broke his concentration, and the Thing on the other side began to break through. In confused desperation, the wizard spoke a word of Command.
The stone door splintered, and the chamber beyond it shattered. Gandalf was thrown backwards down the stairs, but not before glimpsing, stepping through a blue portal to his right, the tall figure of an elf, holding a stack of pancakes.
Gandalf decided not to mention this to the group.
* * * *
Yes, I know, it's getting shorter again. But I'm starting to run out of inspiration. I felt it was necessary to splat the entire Fellowship before moving on to some of the more . . . exotic characters, so hopefully more interesting things will happen soon. We can only hope.
And one more thing. Apart from my usual request for reviews, I'd like to ask anyone I actually *know* who is reading this chapter to please review so I can tell how many of you there are. But everyone else is welcome to do so too.
hS