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Disclaimer: Gone with the Wind is not mine. All relations come from Mrs. Margaret Mitchell's novel Gone with the Wind. (And some background from Alexandra Ripley's novel Scarlett)
Chapter Ten
Wade and Ella clutched their mother's hands, eyes wide; taking in everything they could as they strode down the Battery in Charleston, South Carolina. The children were entranced by everything, recalling everything their Uncle Rhett told them about the town he loved, but Scarlett was too preoccupied to notice.
Scarlett was going over her plans in her jumbled mind. She had wired her aunts Eulaine and Pauline telling them she would be visiting for a few days. They graciously gave her a place to stay for her for the extent of her trip, which Scarlett knew wouldn't be very long.
Scarlett glanced up at the graying sky and sighed. Rain. The sky reflected her glum mood that day. She didn't want to do what she knew she must and all she felt that day was sadness, an emotion she wished to block out.
"Momma," Wade asked, looking up at her, "What are we going to do today?" It was his first day in the wonderful city and he wanted to make it a memorable one.
"Well, my dear," she smiled at her son and ruffled his dark brown hair. He had gotten so big in the past six months! "Momma has to go see an…old friend, but I promise it will only take an hour at most. I wired your aunts and they were happy to look after you for an hour."
"But Momma!" Ella began protesting, pleading in her dull green eyes. "Can't we come with you? I wanted you to play dollies with me today, and I don't know if Aunties Eulaine and Pauline will play with me." Ella loved spending time with her mother, and visa versa, but this was something Scarlett had to do alone.
Scarlett smiled at her sweet daughter and smoothed her unruly copper tresses. "I'm sorry, my dear, but Momma has to go alone, but I will see to it that your aunts play dollies with you and read to Wade. How does that sound? And when I get back I'll take you both out to look around."
Wade and Ella's faces both lit up, seemingly exuberantly pleased with her answer. "Truly?" The two asked in unison, excitement flowing over the children.
Scarlett smiled and nodded, wishing she could be a child again. A child with no worries or regrets, just happiness for life and love for everything. "Truly."
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Scarlett sat in the small, closed carriage, her heart breaking more and more the closer the stagecoach came to the Butler household where she knew Rhett would be. He had told her once before about the house and his mother, but she never really paid any heed. She was a stupid child and would forever regret her decisions, but that was the past.
Over and over again she repeated what she was going to say. She had practiced for the past few hours, but now that she sat, so close to the home, wringing her hands, she slowly lost her grip on her thoughts and the image of Rhett appeared in her jumbled mind. No!
Tears began forming in her eyes, but they had no time to fall, for her carriage driver pulled up to the quaint little house, opened the door and offered his hand to help her down. She swallowed hard. This was it.
"Thank you." She managed to whisper through her grief, but before she knew what she was doing she was knocking lightly on the oak door, waiting to be let in. Scarlett had to resist the urge to flee and tell the driver to take her far, far away, but she knew deep down in her dilapidated heart, that what she was doing was for the best. Wasn't it?
Mrs. Butler answered the door, her eyes failing to mask her downright shock she received at seeing her daughter-in-law on her doorstep. Scarlett was relieved that the butler hadn't been the one to answer and she just stood there looking at her mother-in-law. Recovering from her bolt from the blue rather quickly, Eleanor Butler said, "Scarlett, do come in."
Eleanor hadn't seen Scarlett more than a handful of times during her son's marriage, but she held something that could only be described as a mixture of anger and sympathy. The last time she had seen her daughter-in-law was at her granddaughters funeral, in which she was the only one to comfort Scarlett. It had been raining that terrible day and Rhett had inched farther and farther from his wife, until she was soaked through in rain. Eleanor had offered a shoulder to cry on and an umbrella to stay dry.
Eleanor was furious with her son after that horrible day. No gentleman would do such a thing, but when confronting him, he only ignored his mother and cried for his late daughter.
Scarlett looked up into the sky as a lightning bolt lit up the incredibly gray sky, illuminating everything, and stepped into the beautiful home. Again swallowing hard she turned to Miss Eleanor as she asked, "What can I do for you dear?"
"Miss Eleanor," Scarlett started, and then stopped, taking a deep breath and wringing her hands together. Finally Scarlett looked at her mother-in-law who didn't fail to notice the sadness embedded within Scarlett's jaded hues. "I…I need to speak to Rhett."
Mrs. Butler nodded and pointed to a set of closed double doors in which Scarlett assumed led to the parlor. "My son is in there." She whispered.
Gulping, she nodded, thanking her mother-in-law. Rhett was in there. Rhett, who she had longed to see for months and months, but now the man she wished to run away from. What if six months had turned him colder than when he left? What if he spat at her? Scarlett couldn't think of that now, she just needed to see him.
Leisurely she made her way over to the doors and pushed them open slowly, listening to the hinges creak with intensity. Taking a deep breath, she walked into the dark room and stared at the figure sitting in the chair farthest from the door, drowning himself in brandy.
Neither of them said anything, nor did Rhett take attention her presence, he just sat there nursing another cup of brandy as Scarlett sat across from him, the wide table the only thing separating them save for the invisible walls they had built up incredibly high.
Scarlett watched as Rhett reached over to the small cabinet and grabbed another cup. Sloppily he splashed the brandy into it and batted it to her with the back of his large hand. The amber colored liquid sloshed onto the glossy surface of the table. Scarlett just folded her hands in her lap, refusing the liquid, which had tried so desperately to wean herself off of.
"Hello Rhett." Scarlett whispered, knowing she sounded incredibly daft, but what else could she say? He was in his own world she couldn't pull him out of.
Again he said nothing, but only poured himself two glasses and gulped them down quickly with the snap of his wrists and flicked a an unruly piece of hair which fell into his eyes. His mind began racing, asking numerous questions. Why was she here? Why couldn't she just give him the peace she so longed for?
"Rhett, I…" Scarlett began and again watched him drown another glass. She couldn't watch himself drink himself into the oblivion! She couldn't take it! She reached across the table and snatched the decanter from him hands and watched as he turned his head, dark eyes blazing with an anger she hadn't seen in months.
"Please stop this." Scarlett cried, motioning toward the bottle in her hands with a tilt of her head, concern filling her eyes and her soft words. "Rhett, you're going to drink yourself into an early grave if you don't stop this incessant drinking."
Rhett just stared at her rather intently for a moment, as if he were actually pondering her words, before he threw his head back and laughed bitterly. "Thank you for worrying about my wellbeing dear, but shouldn't you be getting back to your precious Ashley. He must be worried that you left Atlanta."
"That's just spiteful, Rhett. You know I don't love Ashley and it's you I love. Can't you just be a civilized human being for once, or is that too much to ask?" Scarlett's temper flared, but it never reached her grief-stricken eyes, an action Rhett didn't fail to notice. Scarlett closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, relieving herself of the bad energy around her before continuing. "I left Atlanta months ago, I don't belong there. It is my home no longer."
There was a long pause before Rhett looked into Scarlett's green eyes and asked, "What is it that you want from me, Scarlett?" He was through with her games, her drama, her. Why couldn't she just understand that he had no feelings for her any longer? Or did he? He needed a drink.
In that moment, a crack of thunder rumbled through the room, causing the small chandelier above then to shake violently. Scarlett swallowed hard before starting. "Rhett, I once read a saying, 'When you love someone, you must let them go and hope they return.' I…I…"
Scarlett couldn't bring herself to say it. Years of friendship and unknown love were going to be cast away. It was the last tie between them, and she didn't want to cut it.
Slowly Scarlett whispered, wringing her hands until they turned bright red. "I have decided to sell the home on Peachtree Street. My lawyer has contacted me at my current residence; he informed me I have enough money to support my children. When, or if, the house sells, I'll forward you the profits, for…" Scarlett couldn't continue, her voice began cracking dangerously.
She missed the hurt in Rhett's dark eyes and his confused expression as he straightened himself in the chair in which he sat, for she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Her heart was already breaking and looking at him would throw her over the edge.
Rhett watched the broken figure before him, unbelieving. She had changed greatly and not for the better. She was no longer the vivacious young woman, a sparkle always in her eyes. Scarlett's eyes and face, he noticed, held nothing but depression and heartache. He felt sorry for her, an emotion he knew she hated. "No Scarlett, you keep the money. You have Wade and Ella and you need…"
Scarlett's fists balled in despair, her nails digging painfully into her soft flesh. She watched as it collided into the smooth surface, causing the now neglected glasses atop the table to tremble violently. No!"
Scarlett looked up into Rhett's eyes; unshed tears clouding her own vision. "Please Rhett. I don't want you to be hostel towards me forever and I'm afraid if I hold on any longer you will despise me until the day you die. I couldn't bear that, I just couldn't! I need to do this, Rhett. I love you so much! Please! Please Rhett, let me let you go."
Scarlett's shoulders began to quake violently as she bent her head over to cover her face. He couldn't see her cry, he thought people who cried were weak, but as he watched her, his heart broke. He had to resist the urge to take her in his arms and comfort her.
Scarlett pulled herself together slowly, sitting with an empty expression on her face as Rhett said quietly, "As you wish, Scarlett, as you wish."
They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity, the only sounds entering the room were that of the thunder and the sound of heaving rain hitting the window in a vain attempt to enter. Scarlett glanced out the window watching the rain, which made her somewhat drowsy before she got up the gumption to ask, "Rhett, can I ask you a question?"
"Alright." he said rather skeptic, having an idea of what she was going to ask.
"Why did you marry me when you had her?" Scarlett asked so quietly Rhett had to strain his ears to hear her. The question, which had been plaguing her thoughts for weeks, blurted from her mouth.
"What?" he asked dumbfounded. This was not the question he was expecting. "Who in God's name are you talking about, Scarlett."
"Belle Watling. Why did you marry me when you had her to run to?" Scarlett's eye refused to meet his, but she could feel his unwavering stare blaring into her frail body.
"I know you though me as the strong woman, but you know you hurt me a great deal more than you will ever know. You ran straight from me to her. For days I didn't know where you were, I was worried sick. I had to find out from a man on the street who had been there to gamble. God only knows what you did over there. And as always the wife is the last to know.
"Tell me something, Rhett, did you like hurting me, for that's all you ever seemed to do. Do you remember those days before marriage when we were the best of friends? We used to talk about everything. If you needed to talk you could have come to me, I was after all your wife. You didn't have to share everything on our marriage with her." Normally, these words would have been odious, but Scarlett's voice held no hint of anger or anything else for that matter.
"Scarlett…" Rhett started, but Scarlett only held up a hand to silence him.
"No. I want that to be a rhetorical question. Some things are better left unsaid I guess."
Rhett didn't like this new Scarlett. Where was her fiery Irish temper he so loved? Where was the sparkle in her eyes? Where was any emotion? She just sat there with a blank face, staring, but not really looking. Speaking, but not really thinking. He had to do something, anything to see some emotion back in her emerald eyes.
Again they sat silently, listening to the insistent panging of water droplets meeting window. It was too dark and Rhett didn't notice tears trickling down Scarlett's cheeks. "I must take my leave, I promised I'd play dollies with Ella today."
Rhett watched as she stood and walked slowly to the door, anger coursing though his body. Damn it, show emotion! He wanted to cause her pain, the same pain he was feeling now. The pain of not knowing where she was for half a year. He was the one who persisted that Uncle Henry track her down and find her. He needed to know where she was, but even when he found her, he refused to tell him her residence. The pain of not having her with him. Without thinking spiteful words flowed from Rhett's lips. "You never were a good mother, Scarlett. I guess that's one of the reason I never loved you.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking in here lately and I've come to the consistent conclusion that I never did really love you. You were just something, a prize I guess you could say, I couldn't have and once I had you, al I wanted to do was be rid of you."
He watched as Scarlett flinched at every insult he spat at her. She turned to face him hurt written plainly across her features; eyes clouding over with tears, her bottom lip trembling slightly, and her shoulder shaking with unshed sobs. Her heart was wrenched clear from her chest, leaving behind a searing pain, which could only be described as over powering. How could he say something so malevolent?
Slowly she brandished a handkerchief, his handkerchief that she carried with her everywhere, and watched as her tears fell onto it as she folded it. She walked to the edge of the table and laid the small white linen there and whispered, "Goodbye Captain Butler."
She fled the room quickly, shutting the door behind her. She staggered over to the banister following the stairs, folding her arms over it and sobbing her pain into them. He was hateful! Her silent sobs turn into wracking, painful ones, which caused her to fall to the hard, cold floor with a loud thump.
Miss Eleanor had rushed from her room when she heard a loud thud and was frightened seeing Scarlett crumpled in a heap on the floor, weeping. Quickly she ran down the stairs and knelt by her daughter-in-law, "Scarlett, dear. Scarlett what's the matter."
Scarlett looked up, her face red and splotchy, heartbreak and grief in her tormented eyes. "What do you do, Miss Eleanor, when the only person who can stop your crying is the once who made you cry?"
Miss Eleanor sat with Scarlett as she sobbed desperately, for a man she thought she knew and knew she loved, digging her finger nails into her chest, trying to comfort the poor weeping child whose heart had been broken seemingly numerous times by her son.
Gradually her sobs quieted and Scarlett looked up at her mother-in-law, again her voice held no emotion. "Thank you Miss Eleanor. I apologize for my sorry display and conduct. Thank you for your hospitality. It was good seeing you again."
Scarlett pushed herself up off the floor, brushed off her dress and wiped away her tears. She could hear the rain thickening and the crack of thunder booming, but she had to get home to her children. She needed to see them, needed them to need her.
"Scarlett?" Miss Eleanor asked following her daughter-in-law to the door a frightened and confused look upon her face, "It's pouring rain out! Stay for a while to see how the storm plays."
Scarlett turned and attempted a smile for the generous woman but failed, "I'll be fine. I need to get back to my children and my aunts Eulaine and Pauline are probably worried. I don't want to over stay my welcome."
"You are welcome here as long as you like, dear." The grey haired woman said taking Scarlett's upper arm and began leading her to the study. She wanted to know what was the matter.
"Really Miss Eleanor," Scarlett said attempting another smile. "I have no means of contacting them and they're probably worried. I need to see my children, please. Please Miss Eleanor."
The elder woman sighed and let go of Scarlett's upper arm. "Again, I thank you for all your hospitality. I hope to see you soon." She called as she
Before Miss Eleanor could say anything, Scarlett had bolted down the walkway into the torrential downpour. Rhett glanced out the window to see Scarlett leaning against her carriage, tears in her eyes getting soaked. What had he done to the poor girl?
Slowly she removed her shawl and held it over her head as the carriage driver helped her up. She lost her footing slightly and Rhett became apprehensive from the window, but she grabbed the door and pulled herself inside where she sobbed uncontrollably and with no one who would judge or mock her.
The carriage rolled lazily away from the house, the sound of rain whipping around the stagecoach. Why couldn't her life be easy? Why did she have to make a mess of things? The self-loathing came back full force and she screamed in grief and anger.
The carriage jostled violently and Scarlett was pulled from her grief. What was going on? The stagecoach became less balanced and began swerving dangerously. Scarlett grasped onto seat cushions and her heart began beating incredibly quickly. What was happening?
Scarlett was just about to open the window to ask about the loss of balance when she heard a snap and the carriage tipped to one side and jolted backwards. She let out a blood-curdling scream as the carriage again jolted to the left, her head smashing against its wall ricocheting off, consciousness lost as blood poured down her left temple. The carriage lurched onward and she flew headfirst into the other side of the small stagecoach, collapsing onto the floor as the horse and carriage buckled down around her.
A/N- Please tell me how you like the story and give constructive critism! Thanks!