Mac and Charlie Don't Get Along

Charlie curled the tube from the IV drip around his finger, but his focus was on taking in the sight of the person in the hospital bed beside his chair. This county medical center was nothing like the clinics he typically meandered into when he wanted to swipe some staples or rubber gloves on his way home from illegal fishing or swimming.

"Dude," he said with a sigh, "What made you do that?"

Mac plopped his own hand down on the blanket. "I've told you already, Charlie. Are you drunk?"

"No! I just…I'm trying to get a grip, here. I mean, look at you!"

"Do you think this blanket is just thin cotton sewed around paper? Like…the kind of paper on my first grade teacher's easel."

Charlie's eyebrow lifted and his upper lip scrunched. "What the hell, are those the drugs talking? I want some, bro!"

"You like that?" Mac replied. "I thought it'd be awesome to jump my bike from the roof of my building to another one; the closest one of course. No poppin' sparks that time, though, because I had epic music goin', I was wearing leather pants-" he sighed dreamily, proudly, his head tilting. "I had a real plan."

"It, uh…didn't work out well, did it?"

"Charlie, don't stifle my dreams, dude! We're supposed to be friends!"

Now offended, Charlie scooted to the end of his chair. "I am your friend! I'm one of your best friends!"

His passionate speech was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone. Naturally, he was a bit annoyed by being cheated out of a speech that could've fit into a potentially award-winning movie script, but he answered the call.

"Charlie." said a female voice.

"What's up, Sweet Dee?"

"I heard Mac's in the hospital. What did he do?"

"He hurt his penis."

Then came that curious sound Charlie had heard from Harper yesterday when he'd opened up about Mac's supposed gay crush.

"It's true. I'm right next to him now."

"Put him on, Charlie, put him on. Put him on right now."

"I'm not gonna do that, Dee. He's sort of drugged up, and I don't see how it'd be fun to make fun of him when he can't really understand you."

"Mac injured his own dick. I have exclusive rights to make him regret it for the rest of his life."

"But he's on these painkillers that-" He paused, picturing Mac in Charlie's long underwear, the Waitress at his side, and in a court room, defending his letter to a baseball player, then said, "All right, hold on," He extended his arm in his buddy's direction. "Mac, it's for you."

chapter last edited 01.13.12