Chapter Ten

The day of the Dance-Off arrived and excitement was running high. Many of the professors simply gave up on teaching their classes, and at least five first years were sent to the Hospital Wing due to spontaneous hallway dancing resulting in blood noses. But, finally, it was time for the Dance-Off to begin …

Dumbledore walked onto a raised platform in front of the Great Hall, resplendent in a black suit decorated with flashing gold stars, holding what appeared to be a simple Muggle microphone.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, Ghosts, Honoured Guests and Others – Welcome to the first Hogwarts Inter-House Dance-Off!"

A large neon sign hanging from the rafters flashed 'applaud' at the crowd gathered on the stadium style seating which currently surrounded the Great Hall, and so they did.

"Thankyou," said Dumbledore, "now, I'm happy to present to you our judges for this evening!"

He waved a hand towards a table towards the back of the platform, currently dimmed so the identity of the judges remained unknown.

"They are …"

A torch above the table flickered to light to illuminate the first judge.

"CORNELIUS FUDGE!"

The Minister of Magic smiled and tipped his lime-green bowler at the crowd.

"TOM CRUISE!"

The actor glared into the crowd, then began jumping on a convenient couch.

"RITA SKEETER!"

The blonde woman smiled broadly and spun her Quick Quotes Quill between her scarlet tipped fingers.

"AAAAAAAND … CHUCK NORRIS!"

The man grinned and gave the crowd a Double Thumbs UpTM.

"Now," continued Dumbledore, "you know who's judging – let's met who's dancing! I'll hand you over to our Guest Commentator – Lee, if you would?"

"Thankyou, Albus," said the tall black boy, "first up we have Ravenclaw House – easily the most studious House here at Hogwarts, the 'Claws seem to have done their homework with this talented line-up! I present to you – Lisa Turpin, Stewart Ackerley, Luna Lovegood, Anthony Goldstein, Stephen Cornfoot, Eddie Carmichael and Su Li!"

The seven Ravenclaw students waved to the crowd as they walked on to the Dance Floor, and quickly lined up.

"And don't they look fantastic!" continued Lee.

And indeed, dressed in their gym boots, skinny ties and spectacles, the Ravenclaws were a sight to behold.

"With Lisa Turpin as the Captain this year, Ravenclaw looks ready to stun!"

Lisa Turpin nodded at Lee, music began to fill the Great Hall, and the Ravenclaws began their dance.

"Wow!" cried Lee Jordan. "'Oh such grace, oh such beauty' – a fantastic choice by Ravenclaw House as they perform 'A Million Ways' by OkGo! Words barely do this song justice! It's disco meets karaoke, it's the Maccerena meets Hi5 – it's a perfecy reproduction of the dance performed by the actual band, but with extra bodies and more breasts!"

He whistled lowly.

"Do you reckon that Su Li would date me?"

The girl in question sent him a glare as she skipped around the dance floor.

"Guess not! Back to Ginny Weasley it is!"

As the Ravenclaws finished their routine, slightly breathless, the crowd applauded excitedly, for the neon sign had told them to.

"Well done, Ravenclaw!" said Lee. "Lisa, could we have you up here for a quick chat while the Judges complete their scoring?"

Lisa jogged up to the stage next to Lee, who promptly shoved his microphone in her face.

"How are you feeling now? How do you think your team performed tonight? Did you give it your very, very best?"

Turpin nodded, "Oh, yeah, really good," she said, still panting slightly, "I think we really gave it our best shot, and that's what really counts. Except for winning, of course."

Lee laughed heartily, "Of course! Now let's see what the Judges thought!"

Fudge smiled and held up a large sign.

"An eight from the Minister!" cried Lee. "A great start to the evening!"

Tom Cruise held up a five and scowled.

"I don't believe in Magic," he said.

"Of course you don't!" laughed Lee. "But you're mental – so nobody cares!"

Rita Skeeter held up her sign.

"A two from Ms Skeeter!" cried Lee, as the crowd booed in disapproval.

"It lacked originality," sniffed the reporter.

"What will our last judge decide?" said Lee.

Chuck Norris held up his sign.

"And a six from Chuck!" said Lee. "That gives Ravenclaw a total of 21! Well done, Ravenclaw House!"

The crowd clapped politely as the students left the Dance Floor.

"Next up!" said Lee. "GRYFFINDOR HOUSE!"

Harry gulped as he followed the rest of the team on to the Dance Floor.

"With a line-up very similar to that of the old Quidditch Team," said Lee, "I hope Captain Angelina Johnson knows her team can switch from flying to dancing! Let's hear it for the Gryffs! Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell, Harry Potter, Ronnie Weasley, Demelza Robins, Andrew Kirk and Alicia Spinnet!"

The Gryffindor fans roared in approval, as Harry took his place in front of the team.

Angelina made an almost indiscernible movement with her right hand and the team's outer robes suddenly vanished, revealing their baggy jeans and hoodies.

The crowd went wild. Harry pulled a microphone from out of his jeans pocket and took a deep breath.

"Oh!" shouted Jordan. "It appears Harry Potter is going to sing! Hopefully this will be better than some of his work in the communal showers!"

Harry blushed; he was never going to live that time that he cracked a high note on Wind Beneath My Wings down.

Harry nodded, and music quickly filled the air.

"Music hits me/ So hard/ Makes me say/ Oh My Lord/ Thankyou for blessing me/ With a mind to rhyme/ And two hot feet/ It feels good/ When you know you're down/ A super dope homeboy from the Oaktown/ And I'm known/ As such/ And this is a beat, uh, you can't touch."

The crowd went wild, again, as Harry continued to rap and the rest of the Gryffindor House Dance Off Team break-danced around him.

"Break it down!" cried Harry and he launched into a spectacular high, twirling triple flipped back flip before landing in the splits and then flipping himself upright again.

"STOP!" he yelled. "IT'S POTTERTIME!"

He and Ronnie quickly began their synchronised break-dancing routine.

The crowd continued to go wild. Harry grinned.

"Why was I worried about this?" he thought, and then picked up his microphone and rapped once more.

"Fantastic contribution to the Dance Off from Gryffindor House!" said Lee as the students finished breaking it down. "Come on up, Angelina!"

"Thanks, Lee!" said Katie. "We've been working very hard on this routine, and I hope the judges appreciated it."

"Let's find out!" said Lee. "What have you got for the Lions of Hogwarts, Minister?"

Fudge held up a three. "I don't like Potter," he scowled.

Rita Skeeter quickly held up her nine. "I do!" she said. "I've never seen a better set of Rippling Quidditch Toned Muscles! Maybe we could have a private interview sometime, Mr Potter?"

Harry went red and mumbled something indistinctive as the blond reporter winked at him.

Tome Cruise held up a six. "I liked the jumping," he said.

"So far Gryffindor has scored eighteen," said Lee, "but can they overthrow Ravenclaw?"

Chuck Norris grinned and held up a five.

"23!" cried Lee, "Well done, Gryffindor!"

"Well done, team!" whispered Katie as they stood on the edges of the Dance Floor. "Let's see the other Houses beat that!"

"Word," nodded Ronnie.

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but was almost immediately distracted by the sight of Draco Malfoy strutting onto the Dance Floor, followed by the rest of the Slytherin House Dance Off team.

"Is he going to drool?" whispered Katie.

Ronnie nodded, "most definitely."

Draco smirked as he and his team took their positions. He was still slightly annoyed that Careless Whisper had been voted out by his team. "But," he thought, "this song was practically made for me."

"Welcome to the Floor, Slytherin!" announced Lee. "With the very hot and talented Draco Malfoy as their glorious leader, Slytherin has a really good chance of winning here tonight! And I didn't accept a small Hawaiian island from his dad in return for saying that!"

Draco rolled his eyes and nodded impatiently. The music started up and Draco fixed his smirk firmly in place.

'I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love/ Love's going to leave me/ I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt/ So sexy it hurts.'
"Nice choice by the Slytherins!" said Lee Jordan. "Draco Malfoy has definitely made the right decision with I'm Too Sexy!"

Backstage, Harry was agreeing wholeheartedly. Drool began to accumulate in his mouth, yet his throat felt dry, and his stomach felt like it held a thousand butterflies.

Draco flicked his hair and Harry swallowed hard. "Make those a thousand break-dancing butterflies …" he thought.

From the corner of his eye, Draco spotted Harry watching him and his heart skipped a beat. "Either I'm developing a heart condition, or I really like Harry," he thought. "But he looks so calm and collected standing over there … he couldn't possibly like me …"

Harry watched with wide eyes as the Slytherins, namely Draco, shimmied and swayed to the music. He began to feel slightly light-headed.

"Are you feeling ok, Harry?" asked Ronnie, concerned by her friend's shallow breathing, sweaty brow and excessive drooling.

"Fine," squeaked Harry, but then Draco chose that moment to remove his shirt, and Harry simultaneously developed a blood nose and a bad case of unconsciousness.

As the song ended, Draco shot another look at Harry. "He's so bored that he's fallen asleep!" thought Draco sadly. "I really don't have a chance. I guess I better just keep acting like I hate him."

"What a performance!" shouted Lee Jordan over the tremendous applause. "Draco, would you mind joining me up here?"

Draco double-checked that his smirk was still at 100 and strutted up onto the stage.

"Like what you see, Jordan?" he drawled, as the other boy seemed to have lost the ability of speech when faced with a topless Malfoy.

Lee cleared his throat. "Scores, please, Judges!" he said, a little hoarsely.

Fudge held up a seven; as did Tom Cruise, who, for someone who didn't like magic, seemed to be enjoying himself immensely.

Rita Skeeter fluttered her obviously fake eyelashes at Draco as she held up an eight.

"22 for the Slytherin team so far!" said Lee, who was not looking at Draco's Rippling Quidditch Toned Muscles - which weren't quite as impressive as Harry's anyway.

Chuck Norris shook his head and held up a one.

"Didn't enjoy it," he said, amidst furious hisses from the Slytherin fans.

"23 all up for Slytherin!" shouted Lee.

Draco smirked and motioned for his team to follow him off stage.

"Marry me, Draco!" screamed one of the audience members, but the Malfoy heir simply ignored them. When you'd heard as many screamed marriage proposals as he had, they just rolled right off.

"Last, but certainly not least," cried Lee, "we welcome to the Dance Floor – Hufflepuff House!"

The 'Puffs skipped out onto the floor, resplendent in their sparkly pink jumpsuits, and the crowd went wild.

"Hit it!" yelled Cedric and music instantly began playing.

The crowd ooohed and ahhhed as the Hufflepuffs showed just how good they were at Disco.

"Wow!" exclaimed Lee. "That Zacharias Smith sure is flexible!"

In the audience, Louise Frost squinted and cocked her head to the side.

"I didn't think that was physically possible either," she muttered.

Rachel Grey shrugged and continued taking Potions notes, which seemed to consist mostly of scribbled love hearts containing the name of their Potions Master.

Cartwheels and flips dominated the Hufflepuff routine as they easily out-discoed any competition they may have had.

The crowd went wild; for why should you give up when you're onto a good thing?

The seven Hufflepuff students beamed as they finished off their routine with a human pyramid, and a couple of back flips, just for good measure.

"Stunning!" said Lee Jordan. "That was Hufflepuff with the Jitterbug, and boy did they slam it! I'm now joined by the Captain of the Hufflepuff Dance Team, Cedric Diggory! Weren't you dead, mate?"

Cedric winked and gave Lee the Double Thumbs UpTM. "Just pretending!" he grinned.

Lee nodded. "I see. Now – for the scores!"

Fudge held up and five, Tom Cruise gave four and Rita voted six.

"Seems our judges don't like disco!" said Lee, "Hufflepuff sits on 18! But what's this?"

Chuck Norris had raised a ten.

"25 is the final score for Hufflepuff!" cried Lee. "HUFFLEPUFF WINS!"

"Thankyou, Chuck Norris!" said Cedric.

Chuck grinned and gave Just A Normal Single Thumbs UpTM.

"No, thankyou, Cedric Diggory," he replied.

Dumbledore appeared back on the stage and deftly removed the microphone from Lee's fingers, who promptly went off to sulk.

"And that concludes our first Hogwarts Inter-House Dance Off!" he proclaimed loudly. "Thankyou once again to our Judges, our Contestants, and, of course, our Sponsors!"

A large neon Butterbeer advertisement began to flash on the wall behind Dumbledore.

"Thankyou!" said Dumbledore. "And Goodnight!"