Heh heh, Blue! You fight for nothin!

Disclaimer: Rooster Teeth owns Red vs Blue and RWBY, guys. You'd have to be Caboose to think we do.

Also, neat fact: When Tucker turns off his music, that's the first block of text that wasn't in the PMs. Or close to it. Yay.

~•~

"Goddamnit, goddamnit, goddamnit," she muttered as she ran across the field. Her shots only missed, pinging on rocks and burying themselves into the ground. "I hope he doesn't fuckin see me.." Texas froze, seeing the Meta suddenly turn into a butterfly. "MAN, FUCK YOU WASH!" she screamed, chucking her pistol at him.

"What did I do?" Wash asked.

"Nothing, aghhhh I hate all of you.." She then ran off to some hill. Silver Stone Ruby appeared, snapped her fingers, shrugged, and disappeared once more.

"Uh.. Something's telling me this isn't Vale," Yang stated, watching what was going on. Ruby nodded her agreement, while Blake did her best to find out where they were.

"I hate people, I hate people- OH MY GOD PEOPLE AAAAAA!" Texas screamed, falling backwards after seeing Ruby and those other people. "WHAT THE FUCK?" Her camo switched off as an odd safety measure.

Ruby offered Texas a hand, "Hi. I'm Ruby! ...Who are you, exactly?"

"Texas. Don't confuse me with Tex down there though, I'm much weaker than she is." She took Ruby's hand, and got up. "Thanks.. Wait, Ruby? Man, I've never met anyone who had the name Ruby in real life before. It's always ...fictional characters..."

Wait," Weiss said, getting a closer look at the Reds and Blues. "This looks familiar.."

"Familiar?" Yang echoed. "Do you know them?"

"Not quite. But they look just like SPARTANs from the game Halo."

"Halo? Oh, I've played that before," Yang said. "Now that you mention it, they do look a bit like it.."

"I'm pretty sure I'm real," Ruby laughed.

"...Oh, good lord. This is Halo, lady. Well, not really Halo, but it's kind of the same thing. And no, you are not. None of this is real, none of this is real, none of this is real.. I need to shut up, don't I? GOODBYEEEEE." Texas ran off, hurriedly turning on her camo as she sprinted as fast as she possibly could to get away from all the fictional characters. "WHY ME?"

"Uh.. Is she okay?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know," answered Yang.

"She said this was Halo?" Weiss asked, "B-but that's just a video game!"

"EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS A LIIIIIE!" Texas screamed.

The RWBYs glanced at each other, before Ruby put a hand to her mouth, whispering "Craaaaazyyyyyy..."

"At least I don't look like some weird anime person! Although being part cat would be kind of cool, being like murdered and shit because of it would be so not fun.. Wait, how the fuck do you have Xboxes and video games? Like, your shit runs on fairy dust or some crap. How the fuck does that even work? How the fuck does your sniper scythe even work? How did I get back here? Why is my camo off again? I wish Felix had knifed me, this is bullshit."

"I'm here if you need me," Felix said from right behind Texas.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK? HOW DID YOU GET HERE?" Texas shoved him. "Get away from me!"

"One second you're wishing I knifed you and then next you're pushing me away," Felix said, "Well, you're getting knifed anyways."

"AAAAA!" Texas ran away, pushing the RWBY characters out of her way. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"Umm.. should we help her?" Yang asked.

"I don't know..," answered Ruby.

"THIS IS NOT HOW I WANT TO DIE!" She sprinted/skidded down the hill and crashed into Caboose. "SAVE MEEEEEE!"

"Huh?" asked Caboose, who turned around and saw the RWBYs. "Oh. Hello!" He waved his hand.

"CABOOSE, FELIX IS AFTER ME, HELP."

"Felix? Why would Felix be after you? Are you playing tag?" Asked Caboose.

"NO WITH HIS KNIVESSSS." Texas began incoherently babble about Felix and knives.

Caboose looked at Texas, "Knife Tag? I never heard of that. How do you play it?" Texas still continued to talk nonsense about dying and knives and Felix, not answering Caboose's question. Because Knife Tag is not a thing. Caboose tried to understand. "So Felix is friends with a knife... and he wants to introduce his knife-friend to you?"

"Yes-" and then she continued to prattle on incoherently, and everyone silently wondered why weren't they doing anything.

"Uh.. Felix left. He took a plane to Sidewinder," Jessie said.

"..What."

"Yeah," said Jessie, "He left, like, 20 minutes ago."

"Why does nobody tell me anything?"

"You probably wouldn't have listened because you were too busy babbling."

"I was panicking, because he threatened to knife me."

"Of course you were.."

"I hear the disbelief in your tone... jerk," Texas huffed. "Man, I wish- wait a sec." Texas moved away from Caboose and snuck up behind Tucker. "Tucker. Tucker. Tuuuuuuckerrrrr. Tucker! Tuckerrrr! Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tuuuuuckerrr!"

Tucker didn't react in the slightest to Texas' bothering. In frustration, Texas took a deep breath and began to yell. "TUCKERRRRRRR! TUUUUUCKERRRRR! TUUUUUCKKKKEERRR!" However, Tucker never heard any of Texas' yelling; he was listening to music in his helmet. Texas mustered up all she could and yelled at the top of her lungs, "TUUUUUUUUUCKKERRRRR!" Tucker gave a small flinch, thinking he may have heard something, but shrugged it off as the wind. Exasperated, Texas backed up and then tried to tackle Tucker. "TUUUUUCKKKKEERRRR!" Tucker turned around at the sudden weight.

"..." Wash looked on, mildly confused.

Texas continued to cling to Tucker, angry and frustrated. "TUCKERRRRR." Then she realized as she was rather weighty, she was probably accidentally strangling Tucker. She promptly let go of him, landing on the ground with a thud. "Man, I'm like.. Grif-tier out of shape." Texas flopped on the ground. "Ughhhhh. Fuck you, Tucker."

Tucker looked at Texas, staring at her as thoughts on what he could say ran through his mind. It wasn't often that he got tackled by girls.. unless they wanted to kill him, painfully.

"You suck. Seriously, who the fuck has music so loud the only way to get their attention is to, like, body slam them?"

Tucker pressed a button, turning the music that for some reason he was the only one who could hear off. Jessie came up next to Texas, along with Weiss, because RWBY.

"Y'all are living a lie."

"Well, you don't have to ruin it for them!" Jessie told Texas.

"THEY BEAT UP MONSTERS NAMED AFTER MEN WHO WROTE CHILDREN'S FAIRY TALES! I AM ALLOWED TO DESTROY FALSE REALITY!"

"Not cool. Not cool at all," said Jessie, shaking her head. "Do they look fake to you? I can see them, I can touch them, and I'm pretty sure I could taste them if I wanted to!"

"This is why I never tried to write any of those stories where I get dropped into the universe of whatever fandom and have knowledge of what's going to happen and shit. It turns into me telling everyone that they're fake and spoiling their entire future."

In the distance, footsteps were heard. Silver (as to not be mixed with Ruby from RWBY) popped into the world, right next to Texas. "Didn't you say once you were writing one of those, though? I read it in a comment."

"Yeah, but in that I gave myself amnesia because I knew that if I didn't I would write me telling everyone so many spoilers."

Silver nodded, "I tend to do that at times."

Church walked up to Silver, "Uh.. Was she here earlier? I don't remember anyone else."

"Ruby? Wait, which Ruby, now I've confused myself. Who are you talking about exactly?" Texas got up into a sitting position because she realized that talking was awkward when you were laying down.

"I'm talking about the random girl, not the anime girls! Fuck, I don't know, all of you!"

"The anime girls and.. Uh.. Her," she said, pointing to Silver, "were not here earlier."

Silver considered something. "You know? Technically, we're all Rubies. Whether Ruby, Ruby, or a part of RWBY. That's why you should call me Silver when they're around."

"Kayyyy. Yeah, sooo I was about to ask Tucker if he'd met you, but that's useless now."

"You know, now that I think about it, she does look a bit familiar," Jessie and Tucker said in perfect unison.

"Oh, right. Forgot about Jessie also having crazy dreams." Texas got up, stretching her arms. "Hey, has anyone seen any of the fragments since the Meta appeared? Because I have not."

"Uh..." Jessie started. "I saw Epsilon. Not the others, though."

"The last time I saw any of the AI that weren't in Church-form was when Dee swapped personalities with O'Malley. I think the Meta may have taken them." Texas shook her head. "I don't think a butterfly can have AI..."

Wash came up, "Well, maybe the Meta didn't take them. It wouldn't hurt to-"

"And then he exploded. It was a pretty explosion," Caboose finished his story, with Theta beside him.

"Caboose?" Everyone exclaimed.

"You have the AI?" asked Jessie.

"Just the pink one," Caboose said.

"I AM NOT PINK!" Theta screamed. "I AM LIGHT RED!"

~•~

No son, yer pink. Donut may insist upon you bein 'lightish red' or whatever he keeps goin on about, but he's lyin. Don't listen to Donut.