Brittany sits at the edge of the bed with her suitcase packed by her feet. She's been staring at the door daydreaming about different scenarios that could possible happen if she walked right out the door. The smell of freshly brewed coffee starts seeping into her room and that's what snaps her right out of her daydream realizing that Santana is now awake and will probably be coming to check on her soon. Brittany quickly gets up hoping that if she rushes out the room and out the front door she could avoid Santana all together but just as she reaches down for her suitcase there's a soft knock at her door.
"Britt?" Brittany doesn't answer and after a few seconds she can hear footsteps walk away and that's when she grabs her suitcase and heads for the door. She thinks she's in the clear when she opens the door but to her surprise Santana is right on the other side.
"Santana!" Brittany says as she drops her suitcase and clutches at her heart in surprise.
"You were really going to leave?"
"I told you I was leaving in the morning" Santana shakes her head and grabs Brittany's suitcase and walks back into the room. "San what are you doing?" Brittany asks following her back into the room.
"I'm unpacking your bag" Santana plops the suitcase back on the bed and unzips it taking Brittany's clothes out but as she does that Brittany puts them right back in.
"San stop I don't have time for this"
"Why do you have somewhere else to be?"
"Yes!" Santana stops and stares at Brittany.
"Where do you need to be?"
"It's none of your business" Brittany packs her things back into her suitcase and zips it back up.
"Where are you going?" Santana asks but Brittany doesn't answer. "Brittany please don't leave"
"I can't stay here San"
"Yes you can. Come one let's go get something to eat and really talk about this" Brittany shakes her head. "Please" Santana begs and Brittany just sighs.
"Fine but I still have to take care of something"
"Give me a few minutes and I'll go with you that way we can just grab something to eat after"
"I rather do this alone"
"Please just let me come with you" Brittany thinks about it for a second and then nods her head yes.
"Okay hurry up" Santana smiles and heads to her room to get ready and within minutes she's done and both girls head to the car.
"So where do you need to go?" Santana asks as she puts her seatbelt on and starts the car.
"Dr. Robins office"
"Isn't she closed today?"
"The office is open she just doesn't see anybody on this day"
"So…why are you going then?"
"Will you stop 21 questioning me and just take me" Brittany snaps. Santana just looks at Brittany before turning facing forward, taking the car out of park and driving away. "I'm sorry I snapped" Brittany says a few seconds later but Santana doesn't say anything back. The car ride is silent the rest of the way and as soon as Santana drives into the parking lot and parks Brittany jumps out and heads straight into the building.
"Ms. Pierce" The receptionist says a little surprised when she sees Brittany walking in.
"Is Dr. Robins in her office?" The receptionist nods her head yes. "Great" Brittany turns and storms right into the office.
"Ms. Pierce wait!" The receptionist jumps from her desk and runs after Brittany.
"Brittany" Dr. Robins says as she looks up from her desk. "It's okay Katie I've got it" Katie nods her head and closes the door behind her as she leaves. "You missed your appointment yesterday"
"You lied to me" Dr. Robins gives Brittany a confused look.
"Lied about what?"
"You told me it's never too late well guess what it is!" Dr. Robins just sighs.
"Why don't you take a seat let's talk"
"I don't want to talk"
"Then why are you here?" With an eye roll Brittany walks over to the couch and takes a seat crossing her arms over her chest. Dr. Robins grabs her notebook and gets up from her desk and takes a seat in her chair across from Brittany. "Why didn't you come yesterday?"
"I don't want to talk about that"
"Then what would you like to talk about?"
"You lied" Brittany states again. "You said it was never too late. You said she still loved me"
"She, she as in Santana?" Brittany nods her head yes. "I don't recall saying she still loved you. I can't make those assumptions I've never spoken to her before but I know I did say that you still loved her" Brittany sighs.
"She doesn't love me"
"Did she tell you this or are you just assuming it?" Brittany shrugs. "What did she say then?"
"She…she…well she didn't straight out tell me it but it was close to it"
"What did she say?" Dr. Robins asks again.
"I…I" Brittany stutters. "I don't remember but she doesn't love me" It's Dr. Robins turn to sigh.
"Okay. Let's try again. I'm assuming there was some sort of confrontation about feelings. Am I correct?" Brittany nods. "Did you start it or did she?"
"I did"
"Okay so what exactly happened?"
"I asked her to kiss me" Dr. Robins raises her eyebrow. "Don't give me that look. If you were in my position that night feeling the same thing I was I'm sure you would have asked her too" Dr. Robins just smiles.
"So what did she say when you asked her?"
"She said no but it wasn't because she didn't want too or at least I don't think. She just said she didn't want me using her to fill the loneliness and sadness I feel about losing Sam"
"Brittany did the words I don't love you come out of Santana's mouth at all during your little confrontation?" Brittany shakes her head no.
"I tried telling her I wasn't using her. I told her I still and always have loved her" Brittany whines like a little child that's not getting their way.
"Okay, okay let's take a step back real quick. Let's change the situation a bit. Let's pretend that after you and Santana broke up she was the one that jump into a relationship with someone else and stayed with that someone for a long time. Then one day that person disappeared or passed away and suddenly Santana was at your door saying she always loved you. How would you feel?"
"Not good"
"Not good" Dr. Robins repeats.
"But it's not the same. It's always been Santana for me"
"But she doesn't know that Brittany. You're actions over the last few years tell her something completely different. If you really want her to believe you and you truly want to be with her start off slow"
"Slow as in?"
"We don't right off the bat ask her to kiss you" Dr. Robins smiles. "Ask her to stay in and watch a movie with you or go to the movies. Maybe make her dinner. Simple things you know. Show her that you want her, that you care. But above all of that talk to her. Tell her how you feel"
"Come on" Dr. Robins gestures for Brittany to get up and she does. "Start slow and try to put yourself in Santana's shoes. Everything you tell her reverse it and see how you would feel about it" Dr. Robins opens the door and Brittany walks out.
"All done?" Santana asks when she looks up and sees Brittany who nods her head yes. "That was fast"
"Hello. I don't think we've met properly. I'm Dr. Robins" Santana gets up and shakes the doctor's hand.
"Santana"
"Okay you two have a good day and Brittany I'll see you next week"
"I don't think I'll…" Brittany begins to say but Santana interrupts her.
"She'll be here" Dr. Robins smiles and heads back into her office and Santana ushers Brittany out the building.
"San you know I don't have money to be coming here" Brittany says when the two are outside.
"Just give me the bill when it comes. Don't worry about anything else"
"I'm not going to let you pay for my sessions"
"I'm not paying for them" Brittany gives Santana a questioning look.
"Who is then?"
"Don't worry about it now come on there's a restaurant across the street. We can eat their" Clearly not happy with the answer she got Brittany turns and starts making her way to cross walk where both girls cross over and head inside the restaurant.
"How many?"
"Two" Santana responds to the hostess.
"This way" The two girls follow the hostess and then take a seat at the table. "You're server will be with you shortly" When the hostess leaves Santana opens her menu but Brittany doesn't move. She stares at Santana. She watches the way Santana looks side to side at the menu. How her eyes get wide at something she likes and then squints at the things she doesn't. For the first time since everything happened Brittany feels like smiling and so she does. It isn't big, it's doesn't even count as a full one but she lets a half smile form on her face.
"So what are you…are you smiling?" Santana ask Brittany. "Is that an actual smile I see? What's making you finally smile?"
"You" Is all Brittany says. It's all she has to say for Santana to feel something tug at her heart. "You said we can talk can I start talking?" Santana nods her head. "I love you. I always have"
"Britt"
"No wait. Just please hear me out first. I love you and I'm sorry I put you through hell by staying with Sam all these years. I never meant to hurt you but I was doing what you wanted"
"What I wanted?"
"You told me you wanted me to forget everything we ever had. You wanted to just be friends"
"So everything is my fault then?"
"It's both our faults, my fault for listening to you, your fault for being so stubborn"
"If it was me you wanted all along why not just break up with him. Why stay with him. I mean damn Brittany you were going to marry him. How the hell do you expect me to believe you when you say it's been me all along?" Brittany frowns.
"I'm sorry. You don't know how many times I wanted to break up with him but I just couldn't break his heart"
"But you were okay continuing to break mine?" Brittany looks at Santana with the saddest eyes in the world and it makes Santana frown. "I'm sorry" Suddenly Brittany just gets up from her chair. "Where are you going?"
"I'm not really hungry anymore. I'm going to call Rachel and have her take me home"
"You don't have to call Berry I can take you home if that's what you really want" Santana gets up from her chair. "I'm going to tell the waitress we're leaving. I'll meet you at the car"
"Okay" Is all Brittany says before she turns around and starts walking out the restaurant. Santana joins her at the car a few seconds later and the two both get in the car and drive home.
When Santana pulls into the driveway she doesn't make an attempt to turn the car off instead she unlocks the car door and then looks over at Brittany.
"I'm going to go for a drive" Brittany looks at Santana and then opens her door to get out. "Please eat something when you get inside and please, please be here when I come back" Brittany doesn't answer as she gets out and closes the door behind her.
It's a little after eight when Brittany settles in her bed. She reaches over at her nightstand and grabs her phone but there's nothing. No messages, no missed call, there's nothing. She begins to worry. Santana's been gone all day and it's not like her to not let Brittany know she's going to be out late. Brittany starts to dial Santana's number and at the same time her phone starts to ring she hears Santana's ringtone go off and that's when her bedroom door opens.
"San" Santana ends the call and comes into the room but keeps her head down. She nods her head a few times as if she was trying motivate herself before she looks up and at Brittany.
"Things fall apart…they fall apart so hard you can never put them back the way they were"
"San?" Brittany says again but with more concern in her voice this time.
"I'm sorry it's just…things take time. You can't just tell me everything like you did and expect me to..."
"I know" Brittany says cutting Santana off who has now taken a seat next to Brittany on the bed.
"There's just so much to work through. I spend hours sitting in the park going through all the pros and cons about this. I mean if we really did this and I said okay let's try again there's just so much to work through and…I don't know Brittany. The trust I had for you has to be built again and your trust for me has to be built again too"
"I trust you and I promise I'll never hurt you again" Brittany takes Santana's hands into her own.
"If we do this it's going to take time. It would be a long and important process but…can we just skip it? Can we just forget all the get to know you dates? Can I…I just kiss you now?" The biggest smile spreads across Brittany's face. She lets go of Santana's hands just so she can grab the back of her neck and bring her in for a long, heated mind blowing kiss.