Chapter 10

Over three months had passed.

Sarah had given birth to a beautiful baby girl, whom she had named Allison Christine Johansen. She had the blonde hair and blue eyes that were obviously a family trait.

Allie was a bright baby and she spent a lot of time with Jen and Jeff as well as spending time with her grandfather.

Jeff had moved in with Jen, providing her with some kind of normal family life and she was continuing to live as normally as possible, although she took Monty for a walk every evening near where homeless people hung out hoping Monty would scent him and find him. Jeff followed at a safe distance, not really wanting her to stop, but insisting on keeping her safe.

Frieda Johansen had been sentence to life for the murder of her son and the trafficking of her daughter to Brandel and for good measure the District attorneys had added the assault of a federal agent on top. Shrieking at the top of her lungs she had been hauled away to her cell with her lawyer filing an appeal to have her retried under diminished responsibility.

Hetty and the team had been in court to see her get sentenced, not just because they felt that they owed it to Deeks, but because they had hoped he might show up. Hetty thought she had seen him in the shadows outside the courtroom, but by the time Callen and Kensi had gone to where she had indicated there was no sign of him.

The team had refused to replace Deeks despite Vance insisting that they hire another liaison; they took on a series of temps who were informed as soon as they arrived that they would be no substitute for what they had lost, most quit within a week or two.

The team was snappy; although they were focused as usual and they worked just as hard, it seemed like the soul of the team, the laughter was missing.

Eric and Nell had a facial recognition program running on his computer; every camera in L.A. was tuned to look for Deeks.

But to date there had been no sign of him.

Deeks woke up, moving his position as his shoulder was, as usual, throbbing.

He sat up, moving the woman who was in the bed beside him and grabbed some painkillers off the nightstand and washed them down.

The woman woke up and looked at him.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

Deeks looked at her, "Get out." He snarled.

The woman stood up and grabbed her clothes, Throwing a handful of bills at him she got dressed and as she reached the door she turned to him, "I'll be at the bar again tonight, if you want Max, you were worth every penny."

Deeks threw his pillow at her, winced as his arm twinged and as she shut the door he got up stumbled to the bathroom and vomited.

Flopping back into the bed he threw his face into the pillow and let out a sob.

Just one…only one, it was all he allowed himself. He deserved this life, he had ruined his own life by trying to help, he knew better now.

Deeks was gone, Max was all that was left and Max didn't help anyone but himself.

Looking in the mirror Deeks had to remind himself that he was Max now, this was the first time that he had voluntarily become Max, Max didn't get hurt, Max didn't hurt others….Max was a safe place for him to be, a safe person for him to be.

He hadn't set foot in L.A since the day he had walked? Limped out of the hospital, he had lost everything, he couldn't work with the team anymore, and why would they have wanted him. He was a screw up, Sam was right. He wasn't the right man for the job; he had just needed to get away.

The last time he had gone back to LA he had gone to Frieda's sentencing, just to make sure that Jen and Sarah and the baby were safe from her. He had sat so close to Kensi in the courtroom he had been able to smell her perfume, he had nearly crumbled, twice he had stretched out his hand to touch her, but he hadn't wanted to contaminate her. He had afterwards, while waiting for his ride, spotted Hetty looking at him. But his taxi had turned up and he had managed to get away before anyone got too close.

He had gone back to Vegas, a great place to disappear, if you knew how.

He worked nights in a male strip club, drank copious amounts of alcohol during the early morning and for a bit extra slept with the women who hired him out after his shift.

He was pulling in about $500 a day and spending half before the evening, the rest went into a box on the mantel of his no star motel room.

Finally he had enough, there was $1500 in the box, and he sealed it and sent it to Hetty, $500 was for his one night stay and medical care she'd paid for him and the rest he said was to be shared equally between Sarah, Jen and Jeff. He added his apologies and said he was well and that he would send more if needed, he would however send what he could to her for Jen and Sarah on a monthly basis.

Not even thinking, (Well he was still drunk) he shoved the box in the mailbox and walked away.

Hetty walked into her office, it was 05.20 she knew she was there before everyone, even Eric for once, she looked at the pile of mail awaiting pick up for distribution, she knew it had all been checked, X-rayed and irradiated, the latter being introduced in all NCIS mail depots since a case of the pneumonic plague in D.C.

A battered box with her name on it caught her eye. It was taped more than once and the writing was sloppy, but she recognized it right away. Looking at the box in her hands she picked up her phone, "Miss Jones….Could you possibly head in early, I have a project for you." She said.

Reading the letter that accompanied the box she sighed, "Oh…Mr. Deeks…where are you?"

In Vegas, two days later, Deeks took another handful of pills, with the now usual snort of cocaine, that Andy another male stripper had 'insisted' he try to loosen him up for the job, He wasn't an addict, just a little bit every day for the pain, and just one little bit couldn't hurt right?

He looked at himself in the mirror, wiped the excess powder off his nose, bronzed up his chest and put on his outfit, working his way through a great big…(tiny weenie, if you asked him) glass of whiskey he got up and staggered to his door.

Walking into the club, he was so high that all the faces were a blur, but he didn't care, if he couldn't look at them, he didn't have the think about what he was doing.

Sitting in a booth at the back, Callen, Kensi and Sam looked on stunned as Deeks walked in.

He was pale and thinner than he had been when they last saw him, and the bags under his eyes were pronounced, he didn't even notice them as he walked by.

"MAX…..BABY!" a high pitched shrill came from the back of the room as a fifty something dark haired man staggered over to him. he draped his arms around his neck.

"Evening, Charlie…" Deeks pulled back as he tried to kiss him, "You got money?" He asked.

She handed him $50. "That's your tip, I paid for you all night…" he leered at him openly.

"Then I will dance just for you…You got stuff or will I bring some?"

"Max, Max, Max…you know how I like you high, I have some primo stuff, scored this morning" he drawled and opened his jacket to show him.

He reached in with a penknife and took a taster, "Nice…" he slurred, "You get a nice seat now" he smiled and went off.

The three of them watched open mouthed and Kensi looked like she was going to be sick.

Callen followed Deeks as he walked in the back of the club.

"Jake….You son of a bitch!" Deeks snapped as he saw the manager. "You set me up with Charlie!" he was as mad as hell. "I don't do men!" he snapped.

"You will do who I say he paid a thousand bucks for you, you telling me you don't need the money, your habit ain't cheap."

Callen watched silently.

"Pass him off to Andy, he's Andy's type." Deeks pleaded.

"Listen, you want the work or do you wanna go back to the streets where I found you." Jake snapped.

"Please…." Deeks begged.

"Get ya ass on stage, you're a whore Max, plain and simple and lets face it, Male or female it ain't no skin off my nose." Jake laughed,

"No!" Deeks said.

"No?" Jake looked and then laughed again, "Do you remember what you told me, do you want them to find out where you are, I can call that Hetty woman you talked about…what do you think she would do if she knew how far you had fallen." He said threateningly having backed Deeks up into a corner and smirking as Deeks had cowered away from him. Jake stopped his tirade as a hand landed on his shoulder.

"She would be there to help him and would send his team to bring him home." A really pissed off Callen answered, pulling Jake away from Deeks and sending him tumbling away.

Deeks looked up not entirely sure who had helped him.

Callen put his hand on Deeks arm to help him up.

"No…get off me!" Deeks begged.

"Time to come home Deeks, Your family needs you."

"C…Callen?" Deeks asked and then he passed out.