A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!! Thank you!!
Discalimer: Wouldn't I be siging autographs right now if I were Stephenie Meyer?
Was I insane? Could loving a person cause brain damage? Could a vampire even get brain damage? Maybe I should see Carlisle... I was so very nervous as I waited for Edward outside his hotel room. Robert was watching some football game with Emmett and I was supposed to be in Alice's room, but instead I found myself waiting for Edward. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just be happy with Robert, why couldn't I just stay away from Edward?
Why did I love two people? Why was I so selfish?
My foot tapped impatiently. Why was Edward taking so long? A horrible image flashed through my mind. Edward with Tanya. Tanya giggling uncontrollably as Edward grinned mygrin. Selfish. Yes, I was truly selfish if I didn't want Edward to be happy with anyone other than me. Selfish to want him all for myself. But it was true, oh it was all true.
All of a sudden the door behind me was being pushed open. I looked up, and Edward was standing there with my grin on his face. I smiled, and he led me inside. "You came," he spoke softly, almost surprised as we sat down on the bed.
"I had to," I whispered almost ashamed, but too happy in his presence to be. "How do you know Tanya?" I asked a bit of an icy edge in my voice.
"She's the leader of the clan in Alaska. She showed interest in me a few decades ago, but I declined."
I hissed. Of course I wasn't the first to fall for him. Of course I had competition.
"It was wrong of me to do what I did," he admitted. "I'm sorry." His eyes smoldered, and my breath caught. Robert? There was no Robert. There was just him and me. I knew then without a doubt, that I loved Edward Cullen, maybe even more than I loved Robert.
I leaned in and he did the same. Our lips met, and even when he tried to pull away I found myself following him until I was ontop of him, kissing him! Some part of me knew this was wrong, so very very wrong, but the other conscience part of me and of Edward knew this was so very right. And I saw it too. I saw myself a century old dancing at our wedding, again, with Alice and Jasper taking care of guests, and heard Emmett's booming laughter as he twirled Rosalie. I even saw Carlisle and Esme looking on lovingly, but I did not-could not see Robert. Robert! The unconscious part of me began to boil up screaming Rob's name.
I pulled away from Edward, who just grinned. Desperately I ran out of the room at top vampire speed, but Edward had always been faster. "Bella, wait. I'm sorry! Please!" He grabbed my shoulder from behind me.
"Stay away from me!" I screamed.
Instantly he was propelled away from me as much as the hallway would allow. "Bella, that's not fair. I love you!"
"Ha!" I shouted even though Emmett, Jasper, and Robert had abandoned the sacred TV and were watching the scene unfold. Robert looked confused and hurt just a little. Alice and Rosalie were also standing in the hall, and Alice looked a little too smug. "Youare unfair! How dare you?" I walked closer to him as my ribs felt like they were going to burst open and my throat felt tight, but I couldn't cry.
"Because I love you!"
"LIAR!" I knew it wasn't true, but I had to convince myself. I wouldn't hurt Robert this way, I wouldn't be selfish. My rage teetered, and finally engulfed me. "You dirty rotten cheating liar!" I lunged myself at him, but he was propelled away- a flaw in my power. Stay still! And I lunged at him again and this time with such force I knocked him through the wall . But it wasn't a fair fight, and I wasn't satisfied. Fight back you bastard!
And he did fight back- he hadto, but he fought unwillingly. How could he still care about me? How could he still love me? Strong arms wrapped themselves around my torso, and pulled me off of Edward. Hisses escaped my mouth as I thrashed against my captor. The brutal strength told me it was Emmett.
Eventually I wore myself out. Emmett let me sink to the floor and I buried myself behind my long hair. Stay away. Everyone stay away from me, just leave me alone.I didn't look up. I didn't want to know how much damage I had caused Edward, didn't want to see the pain I caused Robert. I didn't want to look at Alice's smug face or Jasper's twisted with my rage and then my regret. Nor did I want to see Carlisle's disproving one that I knew he would have. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to sort things through even though that seemed impossible.
A/N: So what do you say? Was Bella's reaction rational? Stay in Holland or go back to Forks? Ideas? Suggestions? REVIEW PLEASE!!