Here's the next chapter in the saga. This chapter is Liv-centric and the next one will probably be a bit more Alex-centric. Thanks for the well wishes and encouragement from all of you. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. I will try to be more timely in updates, but I appreciate your patience. As always, please read and let me know what you think by putting in a review.
Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC still own it all. I am merely playing with their toys.
The cold stung Olivia's wet cheeks as she thrust her hands into the deep pockets of her jacket and ducked her head against the winds buffeting against her. She shivered, but seemed oblivious to the cold as she tried to make her way to the subway station a few blocks from Abbie Carmichael's apartment. A light snow began to fall, skittering across the pavement with the wind's gusts and dampening her dark hair.
She felt as if her heart were in a million pieces and hated it. She hated the vulnerability she had shown in front of the others, in front of her, and she hated how easy it was for Alex Cabot to get under her skin. Olivia Benson was even starting to hate the fact that she had ever let herself fall in love with the beautiful blonde.
With her head bent against the sharp wind, she didn't see the dark blue Prius pulling around the corner in front of her and blocking her path. As she approached the street, her gaze landed on the car and she frowned as she looked up to examine it more closely, as her heart thudded against her chest as adrenaline coursed through her veins. In her line of work, it wasn't unusual for people to be abducted right off the streets and dragged into a waiting get away car. The cold had helped to clear her head enough for her cop instincts to kick in and she stood back from the vehicle.
Her hands balled up at her sides as the dark tinted window eased down. She was prepared to fight if she had to, but her heart thumped at the idea of what could be behind that dark glass.
"Liv?"
A blonde head leaned over from the driver's seat and Olivia felt a rush of relief cascade over her.
"Serena. Dammit, you scared the hell out of me," she growled, her words harsher than intended. Olivia stuffed her hands back into the pockets of her jacket so she could hide their slight trembling. Taking a deep breath, she took the two steps toward the car and looked inside, the warm air from the heater a welcome relief to her cold face.
"I'm sorry. Get in, I'll drive you home."
Olivia offered a small smile and looked at the other woman for a moment. She looked away and shook her head, her pride not allowing her to accept the favor from the blonde.
"I'm fine, Serena. The subway is just another block from here."
"I wasn't asking you, Liv. Get. In."
She huffed but opened the car door when she heard it unlock and took a seat in the warm interior. Releasing a small sigh as the heat began to thaw her
"You're kinda bossy sometimes."
Serena reached over and wiped away the remnants of tears from Olivia's face. She smiled softly and rolled up the passenger side window before putting the car in gear.
"It's one of my better attributes."
Olivia gave her a slight smile as her tears were wiped away, her face flushing with embarrassment. She settled into her seat for the ride home and turned her head to look out the passenger window.
Serena glanced over at her as she drove down the side street.
"You never have to be embarrassed with me, Liv. You know that."
The brunette didn't respond for several long seconds. She didn't want to seek solace with the other woman right now, but she didn't want to be discourteous either. She released a soft sigh and reached up to wipe more tears away, tears she barely registered having fallen. Finally, Olivia turned to face her friend.
"I'm just not good company right now, Serena."
A soft smile played on her lips as the blonde reached a hand over to take the other woman's and squeezed it gently in support.
"I don't need you to entertain me, hon. I'm here whether you want to talk or not."
Olivia nodded her head, but didn't reply. Her gaze seemed fixated on the street as they continued to drive in companionable silence. Her mind was a turmoil of emotions. Love, emptiness, hate, and defeat warred together and she suddenly felt exhausted. She closed her eyes and slid her hand from the blonde's to rub at her forehead, a headache building behind her eyes.
Serena remained silent, allowing her companion to sort through the conflicting emotions she knew the other woman was dealing with. She and Olivia had been friends for a long time and she knew when to give the other woman some space. Serena had just accepted a position in the District Attorney's office and Olivia had just received her promotion to Detective when they met.
They had met at a bar, a lesbian club, in The Village. Serena was celebrating her new job with a couple of women she had gone to law school with and Olivia had been dragged there by a couple of colleagues to celebrate her promotion. The two small groups of women had met when one of Serena's friends had recognized one of Olivia's companions as an old friend from her neighborhood.
As the women became acquainted, Olivia and Serena had struck up a conversation and traded phone numbers. About a week after they first met, Olivia ran into Serena at the DA's office and they decided to meet up for dinner that night. The two became friends, seeing each other for lunch or dinner on occasion and calling each other at least once a week to catch up. They had dated briefly, but when Serena found out that Olivia was bisexual, she resisted taking their relationship beyond making out and heavy petting sessions. She had always thought Olivia was attractive, but she didn't want to start something serious with her only to get left behind when the brunette met Mr. Right.
They kept in contact over the years, but with both of them having demanding jobs, it would sometimes be months before they saw each other or talked on the phone. It had been several months since they last spoke and it had surprised the ex-ADA that Alex was back working with the Special Victims Unit.
She knew it couldn't be easy for Olivia. She knew Olivia had felt betrayed by the lack of communication with blonde lawyer when she had returned to New York. Serena had seen the photos of Alex Cabot's return to New York society in the newspaper and the announcement of her engagement a few months later. After seeing the announcement in the Sunday edition of The Ledger, Serena immediately left her apartment and headed over to see the detective. She knew the other woman would be devastated, even if she tried to hide it from everyone she knew. Despite trying to move on, the brunette was still madly in love with Alex and Serena knew she would be heartbroken by the engagement.
Serena hailed a cab, then checked her watch. It was still relatively early for most people on a Sunday morning, 9 a.m. She felt confident though that Olivia was already up and catching up on chores the busy detective had been unable to get to during the week. She briefly wondered if she should call to find out if the brunette was even home, but, as she slipped into the back of a taxi, she decided to just go over to her apartment. If she wasn't home, Serena would just head to the precinct, the only other place she would most likely be.
Giving the address for Olivia's apartment to the cabbie, she sat back and wondered if the other woman had even seen the morning paper. She sighed, knowing she had, Olivia was a creature of habit and the first thing she usually did in the mornings was set up the coffee pot and read through the newspaper once she had a steaming cup of coffee in hand.
'Damn you, Alex.'
Not only was she upset for Olivia, but she was upset that the other blonde attorney seemed to be ignoring her and everyone else that was in her life prior to her time in WitSec. She knew Abbie Carmichael hadn't heard from her, she would have told Serena if she had. Serena and Alex had frequently gone out to lunch or dinner together, occasionally went shopping during the weekend, and worked on cases together when Homicide and SVU cases intersected. She had thought they were more than passing acquaintances.
She couldn't begin to imagine how slighted Olivia must have felt when she found out that Alex had come back to New York and made no attempt to get in contact with her former partner. Serena had called the brunette after rumors began circulating in the DA's office about Cabot's return, but all she got out of the detective was one word answers indicating she had heard the rumors and she was fine. However, the attorney knew better.
Olivia was an expert at hiding her emotions, but Serena noticed a shift in the other woman's demeanor after that stilted conversation. The detective was hurt and angry, but she kept it bottled up and focused her energy on her job. Serena knew not to push her to reveal how she truly felt. Olivia would come to her should she need to or when she was tired of shouldering the burden alone.
Serena's awareness came back to the present as the cab jerked to a stop in front of the detective's apartment building. She paid the driver, climbed out of the cab, looked up at the building and took a deep breath before she walked in. She easily jogged up the four flights to Olivia's apartment and took another deep breath as she listened closely trying to detect any sounds or movement coming from within the it. Hearing nothing, she knocked on the door and waited.
She kept listening closely and didn't hear anyone approaching the door from within the apartment after her first knock, so she waited a few more moments and tried again. This time her knock was heavier and lasted a few more seconds than the first one. After another pause and still hearing no movement, she began to think she was knocking in vain, that Olivia had gone out to run errands or she had been called into work. Deciding to try one more time, she banged on the door.
Finally she heard the locks on the door being undone and a blurry eyed brunette tugged the door open to scowl at her.
"S'rena, want are ya doin' here?"
Olivia's voice was hoarse and her eyes red. The blonde could tell her friend had been crying and, from the smell, probably drinking.
She practically pushed her way into the apartment and slipped off her jacket, slinging it over the back of a chair. Her gaze took in the apartment. Nothing seemed out of order, it was as neat as usual, but she did notice the opened newspaper on the coffee table. The picture of Alexandra Cabot and her fiancé was staring up at the ceiling from the newsprint. Serena turned to look at her friend.
"So, you know."
Olivia wasn't going to feign ignorance and just nodded, moving around the other woman after she had closed and relocked her door. She went into the kitchen to put on some water for hot tea.
Serena followed and noted the half empty bottle of scotch sitting on the counter.
"It's a little early don't you think?"
Olivia followed her gaze and frowned slightly at the other woman.
"I was called out last night and didn't get in until early this morning. I had a couple of drinks, then found...that," she nodded toward the coffee table.
"Have you been to bed yet?" Serena asked as she moved around the small kitchen, retrieving mugs and discreetly putting the scotch away.
She turned toward the brunette when her question went unanswered and saw her staring at the teapot as it was being heated. Stepping up behind her, Serena snaked her left arm around the detective's waist as her other hand shut off the burner. She rested her chin on Olivia's shoulder.
"Liv, you need to rest. Why don't I run you a hot bath and you can relax, then go to bed."
"Serena...," Olivia began, her voice soft, but she stopped and sighed. Her body went limp within the other woman's embrace. She was too tired to object and a hot bath sounded wonderful. "Okay."
The lack of fight from the brunette surprised the blonde, but she didn't question it, she just acted. Taking Olivia's hand, she gently pulled her from the kitchen and toward the bedroom. She left the brunette in the bedroom, instructing her to get undressed and found her bathrobe and lay it on the bed for her. Moving to the bathroom, she began filling the tub with water hot enough to sooth tired muscles, but not be uncomfortable. Finding some bath salts, she added some lavender to help relax the detective.
When the tub was filled to the desired level, and Serena felt she had given the brunette enough time to change into the bathrobe, she left the bathroom. Going back into the bedroom, she stopped at the sight before her and felt her heart go out to the other woman.
Olivia, wearing the bathrobe, sat slumped on the side of the bed, her face buried between her hands and her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. Though she tried to muffle the sound, her heart wrenching cries caused tears to prick Serena's eyes and she hurried from the spot in the doorway to her friend. Sitting besides her, the blonde reached out and pulled Olivia to her and cradled her close.
"Let it out, baby. I've got you...let it out."
That was the only time the attorney could remember seeing Olivia so vulnerable, so devastated and not bothering to hide it.
"Serena?" Olivia regarded her friend, placing a hand on her thigh
The blonde blinked, pushing away the memory, and looked at the other woman.
"You missed the turn."
"Oh, sorry," she blushed.
Serena refocused her attention on her driving and took the next left turn as they headed for Olivia's apartment building. She glanced over to her friend, who was looking back out the passenger window, and silently cursed Alex Cabot again.
"Oh what a tangled web..."