Chapter 10: The CO trio ... Captured. Converted. Lost
"Damn it!" Colonel Sheppard stormed through the door of Lorne's office and threw himself into the visitors chair across from where Evan was immersed in the usual stack of paperwork. For a post so far away from home it still amazed Lorne how much administrivia made it to the base.
Focussing on his CO Evan considered the possible reasons for his visit. The preceding weeks had been difficult. Any one of a number of recent events could be at the route of the Colonel's mood since that month had been particularly hard on him personally. First the Colonel and his team were taken prisoner in a penal colony located on an island off world, one with a sickening agreement with the 'local' Wraith. It was the second time in as many weeks that Lorne and his team, along with the addition of Doctor Weir, had stepped in to rescue the lead team.
The incident was quickly forgotten when Sheppard's team discovered an abandoned Ancient facility. Initially it seemed like a dream come true for the Atlantis expedition - the potential to solve many of their ongoing problems. As those things too often seemed to do, possibility shifted into disaster with the loss of a promising scientist and the almost annihilation of both Sheppard and Doctor McKay. It was an event that shook the city's leaders, one that would have long reaching consequences already evidenced by the Daedalus delaying its scheduled departure to revisit protocols, something Lorne knew Colonel Sheppard was less than thrilled with.
"Sir?" Lorne had already learned that a non committal response usually got more of the story from his CO than specific questions would have. Sheppard liked to volunteer the information instead of having it 'interrogated' out of him and the style suited Evan's own natural preferences too.
"The next time I decide to support one of McKay's harebrained schemes schedule me for a visit with Doctor Heightmeyer ... it'll be a signal that I've completely lost my mind!"
"He's still defending his actions on Doranda?" Lorne asked, well aware of what had transpired during the scientist's attempts only days before to resurrect the Ancient's project Arcturus. He'd been left in command of the city while Sheppard and teams of scientists worked over the span of weeks to first assess the facility and then get it up and running.
"Oh yeah," Sheppard emphasised that with a shake of his head. "He practically destroyed an entire solar system and all the guy can do is correct me – keeps reminding me it was only five sixths, like that matters! We're just lucky those planets were uninhabited."
"But that's not why you're angry, because of the destruction," Lorne made that deduction without thinking first about whether he should say it aloud, earning a narrow eyed look from his commanding officer. "Not that that isn't something to be angry about Sir," Evan hastened to add.
"Not that," Sheppard agreed blandly. The two men were still getting to know each other, still filling in the blanks that everyday life and the occasional rescue mission couldn't reveal. "So why am I angry then?" John challenged.
"It's not really my place to draw conclusions pertaining to the members of your team Sir," Lorne replied more formally.
"Let's just say today it is," Sheppard countered. "Major?" After a few moments of silence he made Evan's rank his insistence that Lorne speak up.
"Right, sure, okay," Evan gathered his thoughts quickly and then spoke. "In your place I'd be understandably worried about the scale of destruction Sir ... but I'd be angry at having my trust in a team mate used to manipulate the circumstances so said team mate could 'get what they wanted' ... Sir," Evan trailed off, waiting for a reaction from John.
"And what would you do about that anger Major?" Sheppard asked without expression.
Lorne looked at his CO intently but couldn't decide why the question was being asked. Sheppard wouldn't ask unless he genuinely wanted to hear an opinion though – testing someone just for the sake of it when real life provided enough opportunity to measure the mettle of everyone wasn't John's style. "I think I'd be inclined to ... wallow in it for a while Sir," Evan replied blandly, "just long enough so that all the consequences of that kind of thinking could be fully felt." Taking a chance he made it a little more personal. "Anyone can see Doctor McKay rates your trust pretty highly Sir. He's smart enough to understand the damage he did to that – and to work out he's gonna have to earn it back."
Nodding, Sheppard frowned, eyes intent on where he had his boots stretched out in front of him, although clearly his mind was elsewhere.
"I can understand the lure," the Colonel finally commented. "A power source that could have meant we'd be able to defend this city indefinitely – that's the pipe dream right there. Hard not to jump on any chance, no matter how remote, to make it a reality."
"Doesn't mean you can't hammer home the message Sir," Evan pointed out. "Better now than when it's a full solar system or even just one planet that is populated." He hesitated a moment and then added. "If it were me I probably wouldn't wallow for too long though."
"Oh?" Sheppard looked at Lorne curiously. "Why's that?"
"From what I've read Sir it just strikes me that Doctor McKay needs a certain level of ... arrogance," Lorne offered. "Not every day, but under pressure definitely. You erode his confidence too much and he'll be questioning himself instead of coming up with the quick solutions when we need them."
"From what you've read?"
"Ah ... I might have read all the mission reports Sir," Lorne admitted, feeling embarrassed for some reason. "It was a long trip from Earth Sir," he added unnecessarily.
"Time well spent Major," Sheppard chuckled. "And don't worry – I think I know how to handle McKay."
"I'm sure you do Sir. I heard Doctor Weir actually yelled at him in her office," an almost smile lurked on Lorne's face. "That would have been interesting to witness."
"Yeah, Elizabeth wasn't impressed," John grinned. "Kinda sucks that Caldwell had to rescue us though," he muttered, shooting Lorne a quick look. "Just between you and me."
"Of course Sir," Lorne held in an amused smile, something he was already seeing would become a habit with his CO. The other man had an irreverent way of looking at the world that reminded Evan a little of General O'Neill, although Sheppard had a unique perspective that was all his own, one that often appealed to Evan's own sense of humour. He was getting a lot of practice at putting on his 'game' face.
"Right," getting up suddenly Sheppard was almost at the door before he spoke again. "Thanks Major."
"Anytime Sir," Lorne replied, watching the Colonel's departure with a puzzled frown that quickly turned into a grin. Evan had never worked for a CO who was so laid back and casual about the chain of command, never had one who'd asked for an opinion in such an unstructured way either. But that's exactly what Colonel Sheppard had done. If that wasn't an indicator that Lorne had found a real place on Atlantis then he didn't know what would be!
Lorne might have been forgiven for thinking that something on the scale of Doranda would be the worst thing he'd see in Pegasus for a while. But little more than a week later they were immersed in an even more intense situation. Colonel Sheppard returned from a mission with a simple scratch wound that veered sharply into an unexpected manifestation of Doctor Beckett's Wraith retrovirus. The city's military leader was almost lost inside a Wraith-like exterior before a cure was created. The whole thing felt like too close a call - the events troubling and a little scary for everyone.
What had happened to Sheppard was bad but it wasn't the worst of it. Lorne's failed mission to find a cure resulted in the loss of two good soldiers, the first since Evan had been on Atlantis. He didn't have a chance to acknowledge it when it happened, given the urgency of Sheppard's situation. In the end it took the Colonel himself braving the Iratus bug den for eggs before Carson could manufacture a cure and return Sheppard to himself.
Once assured that his CO would recover, Evan sat down to write letters to two families whose son's wouldn't be coming home. He expressing his regret at their loss ... admitted that he'd not had the chance to personally get to know each man as much as he would have liked ... affirmed that they'd died bravely in the service of their country ... all the while knowing nothing he wrote would really make a difference.
Lorne was so consumed with what had happened that a second bunch of flowers, there waiting at his door when he got back from Iratus Bug Hell, didn't even make a dent in the direction his thoughts were taking. He'd stopped, frowned down at them and then picked them up, depositing them on his bedside table absently and then not giving them a second thought. Maybe the gesture could have offered some level of comfort but he didn't want that - he wasn't ready to be let off the hook over the loss of two good soldiers.
Even a week later Evan could still hear the sound of thousands of creatures moving in the darkness and that chittering, talking noise they made.
He could still hear the sound of Walker and Stevens crying out in agony before he'd pulled the pin and ended it for them.
He relived that moment when he'd called for the two men to get out of there, when he'd realised they weren't going to make it, over and over. He'd thrown that grenade to ensure the safety of everyone else but it didn't help him feel better about the failed mission. The entire experience bothered him – as it should. That had been his mission – Stevens and Walker's deaths his responsibility - but no amount of reflection and analysis shed any light on how Lorne could have avoided the tragedy.
He'd thought and rethought every action taken but couldn't see where he could have done something to get a different result, aside from not taking the mission in the first place. He'd made the decision to leave Reed and Coughlin back on Atlantis to 'guard' Colonel Sheppard - would it have made a difference if he'd taken his own team or would he be staring down the barrel of a deeper grief at the loss of two men he knew a hell of a lot better than Walker and Stevens? Lorne just didn't know ... one minute Carson was cautiously approaching that egg sac, the next they were running for the exit already too slow to completely avoid disaster. Lorne pulled the plug on the mission then, despite Carson's protests, but it wasn't enough that more lives weren't lost.
After days of reflection Lorne was forced to conclude that the mission was what it was, the end result locked in as soon as they'd decided to pursue that course of action. It was a tough pill to swallow to realise that in Pegasus, even more than back on Earth, many things would be outside Lorne's control even though they were part of his command. All he could do was make sure he had as much information as possible and that he learned whatever lessons he could glean from every mission.
Perhaps luckily for Atlantis the Daedalus was still at the tail end of its extended visit when Sheppard fell 'ill' and Colonel Caldwell stepped in to run the city through the crisis and John's recovery. Evan appreciated working with Caldwell but admitted internally that he much preferred operating as Sheppard's second in command. The atmosphere was just that little bit more relaxed while still making sure all things military moved as they should. John also seemed to trust Lorne more than Caldwell, not seeing the need to look over Evan's shoulder every five minutes, nor impose pointless structure on activities that already worked well. That being said, Lorne was happy to sign off the last report and forward it to the Daedalus 2IC, happy that it flagged the ship's departure and the return to business as usual.
Evan thought back to those prior events when a couple of weeks later Sheppard's team went missing again. This time it wasn't just a few hours or even a few days ... and it wasn't one relatively simple mission to rescue them. The Colonel's team had vanished without a trace and Atlantis was stuck running intel mission after intel mission searching for some kind of clue to their location.
Doctor Weir became concerned immediately – Lorne could see the strain on her growing each day that passed without news. He'd gotten to know her better during the Colonel's previous troubles and his regard for her had grown as he'd watched her struggle to deal with situations no one could prepare for.
He stepped up behind the scenes to help however he could, making sure anything that had to be done in Colonel Sheppard's absence was done without calling attention to it. He also led many of the missions sparked any time they got word from one of their contacts that someone knew something about John's team. Evan didn't want to think the worst but the more time that went by without finding their missing colleagues the more likely it was that they just wouldn't. That wasn't acceptable ... Lorne wasn't sure what he'd have suggested to push things forward but the prior day they'd received word that Teyla and Ronon had been seen on M77-273 and he and his team were geared up for the mission to check it out.
"Major, is your team ready?" Doctor Weir asked as she completed her descent from the control room to the Gateroom floor.
"Yes Ma'am," Lorne nodded respectfully. He could almost see the cloud of worry that hovered over the city's leader and felt compelled to say something reassuring. "Intel looks promising."
"Yes, but then so did our prior attempts," Weir replied, not negatively but simply stating the facts.
"True," Lorne gave her a faint smile. "Means we're due a break, right?"
"Let's hope so Major," Weir nodded. "Good luck."
"Ma'am," Lorne gestured for his team to precede him to the open wormhole, nodding to Elizabeth himself before stepping through to follow them. He noticed the surge of 'static' from his connection with the city just before he made contact with the event horizon but was already committed to moving forward.
"Get Down! Get Down!"
Coughlin's yelled warning came too late. Lorne literally walked into the bullet – his forward momentum against the velocity of the projectile like two opposing forces clashing with his body in the middle. It dropped him where he stood, gravity taking his body backwards so that he landed on the ground inside the Stargate mere moments after the wormhole dissipated.
"Sir!" Coughlin did a rapid look and check to see where his team leader was – catching sight of boot soles in front of the gate. "Damn it!" Looking to where Reed huddled behind the DHD he yelled an order. "Reed – give me some cover fire!"
Reed shifted the aim of his P-90, firing a rapid burst across the clearing that lay between them and their unknown assailants.
Coughlin reacted immediately, leaping up and sprinting, huddled as low as he could get, back to the gate. "Sir," he said again, dropping down to Lorne's side, eyes tracking over his team leader to assess the situation. The Major appeared to be unconscious but was breathing evenly, despite the rapidly growing burst of bright red blood high on the grey jacket he wore. "Sir," Nate repeated.
"Ouch," Lorne groaned out, opening his eyes to the relief of his second. "What the hell?"
"It was a trap Sir," Coughlin said, ripping open a pocket on his vest and pulling out a field dressing. Applying it quickly he then wrapped Lorne's shoulder and tied the bandage as tight as he could get it, worried about the amount of blood Evan seemed to be losing. "They were waiting in the trees – opened fire as soon as we came through. There wasn't time to warn Atlantis."
"Reed and Cheung?" Lorne queried, focussing on the business at hand instead of the mess of pain that was his right shoulder.
"Both okay. Reed's covering the gate. Cheung has our six."
"How many?" Evan took a preparatory breath and then, with a hand over his wound, sat up. He actually felt the blood dropping from his face, leaving him lightheaded. Black around the edges, low blood pressure ... early indicators of the expected shock he hoped to avoid.
"Sir?" Coughlin maintained his position, still protecting his leader while Reed and Cheung continued to lay down fire to discourage a closer attack.
"Still here," Lorne gathered himself and pushed down the feeling of weakness that told him the bullet had probably hit something important. Funny thing that – he would have been better off if he'd taken the hit lower where the Kevlar in his vest could have done its job. It wasn't the first time he'd copped a bullet on the way to or from the gate either – in fact if he didn't know better he'd think there was some kind of invisible target painted on him with instructions to aim there. At least this time it was his right shoulder – more scars but less chance of lasting damage given it'd taken a few weeks of PT to recover when he'd caught a bullet in Afghanistan. "How many are we up against here?"
"Hard to say," Coughlin reported. "They don't have us surrounded so I'm guessing five or six."
"Enough to keep us pinned down," Lorne concluded. "We need to dial Atlantis ... and draw attention away from the gate so we can get through." Running over his mental inventory of the standard equipment he grinned. "Stun grenade?"
"Yes Sir," Coughlin grinned too, ripping open a different pocket and pulling out the weapon, more popularly called a flash bang on account of the blinding white light and hearing distorting noise it created. "You okay to move Sir?"
"Too bad if I'm not Sergeant," Lorne nodded back to the gate, both men aware that they were inside the 'kawhoosh zone'.
Evan's shoulder was throbbing with each heart beat and he could still feel the blackness waiting to descend but giving in to it wasn't an option. Rolling to his knees he got his feet under him and pushed up enough to crouch. Running in that posture, pale faced and grim with the effort with Coughlin beside him, Lorne covered the distance to the DHD in seconds. Bullets pinged against the gate, dust puffing up from the ground a few steps away, but they made it there without further injury.
"Dial Atlantis," Evan ordered Reed, nodding for Coughlin to replace him on cover fire duty. "Cheung," Lorne called out over the noise of more gunfire. "Fall back to the DHD!"
In moments the wormhole was connected, just as Jimmy Cheung dropped down beside his team mates. It was crowded but they wouldn't need to be there for long.
"Atlantis, this is Major Lorne," Evan began.
"Major?" Evan could hear the frown in Doctor Weir's voice.
"We've run into a little trouble here Ma'am," Lorne explained. "We're gonna drop a distraction but I'd recommend clearing the area in front of the gate – we could still be coming in hot."
"Understood Major," Elizabeth said briskly. "The shield is down."
"Right," Lorne looked at Coughlin expectantly. "On three."
The two of them pulled the pins on their stun grenades, waited for the count and then lobed the weapons over the DHD, all four of them immediately turning their heads away and covering their ears. The noise of two stun grenades going off still set their ears to vibrating, the flash hopefully blinding their assailants.
"Go!" Lorne ordered.
Reed and Cheung reacted immediately, jumping up and sprinting to the wormhole, disappearing quickly. Coughlin also jumped up, reaching down and grabbing Lorne's elbow to haul him up too. Evan decided not to protest his liberal interpretation of orders, grateful for the jump start. Keeping up with his second, the two men cleared the event horizon together.
"Shut it down!" Lorne yelled, looking up to the control room even as he noticed a host of things all at once. The armed guard off to one side, Elizabeth Weir striding down the steps, his team spread out in front of him, and mental static that berated him for completing that step through the gate when the city had tried to warn him not to.
The shield flashed up as the wormhole vanished, leaving the Gateroom strangely silent for a few moments, only the sounds of Lorne's team breathing hard registering. Inside his head Evan pleaded for silence, his physical concerns too pressing for him to be able to concentrate on the mental aspects. "Later," he promised, feeling slightly ridiculous at the thought.
"Major Lorne," Doctor Weir appeared in front of the team, her eyes moving from Evan's face to his shoulder, her expression shifting immediately to concern. "Medical team to the Gateroom," she ordered.
"Not necessary Ma'am," Lorne protested.
"You're wounded Major," Elizabeth pointed out sternly.
"Yeah, but I can walk to the infirmary when we're done here," Lorne persisted. He ruined the 'I'm a tough guy, I can take anything' image by swaying slightly, revisiting that light headed, shocky feeling.
"No need for that Lad," Carson strode onto the scene, medical bag in hand. He took in the situation with one glance. "That looks like a nasty wound there Major," he urged Evan to take a seat on the steps leading up to the control room, squatting down beside him, blood pressure cuff already in hand.
"What happened Major?" Elizabeth asked, distracting Lorne from Carson's work.
"No idea Ma'am," Lorne admitted. "At a guess I'd say the intel was false, designed to get a team from Atlantis to that planet. Didn't catch more than a glimpse of who attacked us though. Coughlin, what about you?"
"I saw enough to suspect Genii Ma'am," Coughlin answered. "Grey uniforms, consistent weaponry, underhanded tactics."
"Genii," Lorne agreed, once again glad he'd taken the time to read all those reports on the way to Atlantis. He glanced at Elizabeth with a frown. "If we can't trust our intel it's going to seriously impact on our ability to find Colonel Sheppard and the others."
"You won't be going anywhere Major," Doctor Weir reminded him.
"It's a clean through and through," Beckett offered, busy assessing Lorne's wound. "You've lost a lot of blood Major and your pressure's a little low but with the proper treatment you should be right as rain in a week or two."
"Maybe I could still -," Lorne began.
"Infirmary," Weir ordered firmly.
"Right," Evan conceded, realising there was no point in arguing, particularly since he felt like shit and wanted nothing more than to lie down and switch it off for a few hours.
"Major," Carson guided Lorne to the stretcher he hadn't noticed arriving, assisting him to lie down. The trip to the infirmary passed in a blur of Atlantis ceilings and concerned faces until the Doctor had him set up in a quiet corner of the medical bay.
"I'll just prep for surgery," Beckett advised. "Feel free to sleep Major – we'll wake you up when we need to."
"Thanks Doc," Lorne said gratefully.
"Gentlemen," Carson looked at Coughlin, Reed and Cheung, all having followed Lorne to the infirmary. "Nurse Harper will conduct your post mission checks and then it's food and rest for all of you. I'll let you know when the Major is receiving visitors." His tone brooked no opposition and all three men nodded, resigned to doing what they were told.
"Thanks for getting me back here guys," Lorne told his team before they could move away.
"You'd have gotten here by yourself Sir," Coughlin countered.
"Probably not with as much style though," Reed murmured, earning a grin from the Sergeant and a muffled chuckle from Cheung.
"Right ... remind me again why I keep you guys around," Lorne joked weakly.
"Because we make you look good Sir," Coughlin reported, serious soldier face in place.
"Oh yeah," Lorne laughed and then pressed a hand to his shoulder when it throbbed painfully.
"Out!" Carson ordered, making shooing gestures. "You," he pointed at Lorne, "rest!"
Still grinning Evan closed his eyes ... between one breath and the next he let the darkness claim him.
He dreamt but it was stranger than any dream he'd had – that he could remember anyway. He was standing in a random room somewhere in the city having a conversation ... with no one. The room was empty and he couldn't see anyone he could be talking to and yet he was doing just that, and getting responses back too.
"Wormhole diagnostics indicated a problem at the destination coordinates, resulting in a warning to halt departure being delivered. A warning that was ignored – unwisely as it resulted in your injury."
"Ah ... that would be because I didn't get the warning," Lorne defended himself.
"Because you do not listen as fully as you are capable of. One system recommended practice in utilising your genetic compatibility with this city's systems but to date you appear not to have done so."
"I've been busy," Lorne felt defensive again. "Are you like the hologram program?"
"Your subconscious is utilising something you are comfortable with to answer questions that concern you at this time."
"That makes – wait," Lorne frowned. "I'm dreaming about explaining why I'm dreaming about something? That makes no sense! It's like one of those scenes with a picture showing the same thing, with a picture inside that also showing the same thing, to infinity."
"You are free to awaken whenever you like."
Eyes snapping open, Evan didn't recognise his circumstances for a second before memory rushed in to fill the void. Infirmary. Gunshot wound. Again. Mission to find Colonel Sheppard's team. Failed. Again.
"Ah good, you're awake," Carson's cheerful voice drew Lorne from his internal musings.
"What's the damage Doc?" he asked.
"As I expected Major," Beckett said, happy with what he had to report. "The bullet passed straight through – minimal tissue damage which I repaired during surgery. You nicked an artery though, explaining the larger than usual blood volume lost. We've already transfused you for that but you'll probably feel tireder than usual for a day or two yet. You'll be sore for a few days too – no training, no strenuous exercise, and no offworld missions. You agree to that and I'll release you for light duty tomorrow afternoon."
"I guess that's as good as I could have hoped for," Evan conceded.
"I'm sure we'll find Colonel Sheppard and the others soon," Carson offered reassuringly. "Either that or they'll find their way back to us. The Colonel is very innovative and Rodney is quite brilliant at implementing his solutions." Carson narrowed his eyes sternly. "And if you tell Rodney I said that I'll make a permanent note in your file about additional, post mission shots."
"Wouldn't dream of it Doc, even without the threat," Lorne said, amused. Rodney McKay certainly inspired a unique form of friendship, as evidenced by Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Beckett. Was that a factor of Atlantis or of the man himself?
"Try and get some rest Major," Beckett advised, finishing making a note in Evan's chart and moving back to his office.
Lorne settled back again, letting himself relax. Immediately the static of Atlantis' ancient systems rose up to greet him, thankfully without the dialogue his subconscious had supplied in his dream.
"I'm okay," he thought, ignoring the weird familiarity of talking to himself like that. "Not a headache this time so I'm guessing there won't be a 'gene' solution."
The static shifted to regretful before subsiding, presumably so Lorne could get the rest Beckett had ordered. Lorne started to think about the weirdness scale on Atlantis continually rising but then stopped himself. Time to stop thinking like that and just realise that this was the city, this was his life here. It was just a different kind of normal – his kind.
Still, he was curious about something he'd thought in his dream. Had the systems picked up the danger on M77 273? Was that something they could make use of in the future? Resolving to talk to Radek about it as soon as he could Evan closed his eyes again, falling quickly back into sleep.
True to his word Carson released Evan early the next afternoon, his shoulder wrapped tight and his arm in a sling for support. The Doc had approved him to return to light duty the following morning, the list of do's and don'ts sternly stated so there was no room for creative misunderstanding. Lorne walked slowly back to his quarters, mind full of plans for what he could still do to further the search for his CO. He had his eyes on the floor so this time he noticed them immediately - the same purple flowers, like stars with green leafy tails, tied with a narrow ribbon and laid carefully just outside his door.
Evan stopped to glance up and down the deserted corridor before bending to pick up the bouquet. He'd straightened almost to standing before he registered the faint clunk that said something had dropped to the floor. His eyes caught the sparkle of reflected light and he bent down again, picking up the tiny item. Standing Lorne opened his door and strode inside, dropping the flowers on his desk before moving closer to the window and opening his hand.
Nestled in his palm was a small blue stone, polished until it gleamed in the light streaming through the window. It wasn't just one shade, but rather a swirl of darker and lighter blues creating a depth his artists eyes wanted to sink into. It was almost perfectly round, like a small marble, and felt heavier than its size would suggest. It was beautiful and unique and ...
... and he had no idea what it was or what it was supposed to represent.
No idea who'd left it outside his door ... or when.
No idea why.
Deciding that this time he'd look at the security tapes for his floor, Evan placed the stone on the shelf over his desk, found the same vase and some water for the flowers and put them on his desk too. He stepped back for a moment and regarded the gifts, his expression unreadable. And then he pushed it from his mind, settling on his bed for the nap Carson cautioned him to take while he could.
It wasn't a mystery he was going to solve right there and then and maybe that was a good thing. Right now the flowers were just an interesting diversion – an amusement. Once he took it further and tried to find out the source he'd have to deal with the result and, being honest with himself, Evan was in no hurry to do that. They still had to find Colonel Sheppard and his team and that was Lorne's only priority.