"Nicodemus was the one that released the plague you talked about, yes?" he asked, turning to me. I nodded.

"Who else would have thought up something like the Pax? Even being given their stated goals, I never believed them. Pax was too effective, too deadly to not be a bio-weapon. The only question is why he didn't continue."

"Because it didn't cause the effect he wanted. Nicodemus is the type to play armageddon lottery. He sets up a lot of horses to run, not caring which of them wins, because he's got money on them all. The Pax seemed to be too peaceful to the people being killed, for it to be an effective weapon like he would like. He was looking for terror, war, fear. Its results were catastrophic, yes. But they were shut up and kept away. The human tendency to bury their head in the sand played against him here."

Then a horrible thought occurred to me.

"But I also think he was behind what happened to River. He may have even been the one she gleaned the information about Miranda from."

She blanched, and Jayne instinctively put his arms around her protectively. I saw Mal's annoyance at the pair fade; while he might not have been sure of Jayne's intentions before, he could see that the big man genuinely cared about the wispy girl.

"Harry might be right." she whispered.

"You see, the Fallen usually prefer hosts with talent. You can give a coin to any old schlub, but you'll get out what you put in. I once saw Nicodemus try to break the spirit of a very special girl, one with extraordinary power, to try to give her one of the coins. The Fallen can be resisted, by a strong enough will. But if the person doesn't realize that the new voice in their head is a Fallen angel, they might not even notice where they're being led to."

Simon went white now, as he realized what might have been planned for River.

"They truly wanted her to be a weapon."

"And you put a big old wrench in their plans when you got her out, Doc. Why do you think they've been so intent on following you, kept sending their people against you? I know Nicodemus wants me, for much the same reason; I'm powerful enough for a coin that's given to me to be incredibly potent. River has much the same potential."

Zoe found me on the bridge. I had disappeared as they were arguing, trying to find a way out of this.

"Aren't you going to hear the plans? I'd much prefer to have somebody other than Mal planning this."

I gave her the ghost of a smile. "Please, anything but that." I murmured. She looked down at my hands, and saw the denarius in its plastic sheath, idly spinning in my hands.

"You aren't..."

"It's the only way I can possibly see that would give us a shot in hell at pulling this off." I said flatly.

"No. We'll find another way. We'll run. We'll hide."

"Can't run and hide forever." I said darkly, looking at the silvery coin.

"Something else then."

I closed my eyes, then looked up at her, despair written on my face. She knelt down beside me, looking at my eyes; now that we'd gazed, I held no fear of her eyes. None except the shame of even considering this path.

"It's just...I've never felt this way before. I've always rushed into things, got my friends together and gone in to kick ass, got myself into trouble all the time over it; got this lovely present over it once." I said, holding up my gloved hand. "I've never felt lost before. None of my normal allies, or even my predictable enemies."

"Bao bei...I know the feeling, because I've looked out through it before. When Wash died, I...I shut down. I still walked and talked, went on jobs and did my part, but I was dead inside."

"I could see from the gaze." I murmured, and she gasped. "I could see where your heart had been torn out."

"I...it hurt. A lot. Seeing that harpoon through him, seeing the light leave his eyes. I didn't think I'd ever find home again." I saw tears well in her eyes.

I looked at her, seeing the image from the gaze in my head again. "Like when Susan and I were trapped in the basement of the vampire's house. She'd been turned, and when I saw her eyes roll over black, I knew she was lost."

"Almost worse than seeing her die, I'd say. I had closure, and mourned him. You've never had a chance to mourn."

"Done it enough times to know that the feeling never goes away. Elaine, Susan... Aurora... Meryl... Kim... God, how can I let you near me with all of that death in my past?"

"You can, because it's your past, not your future."

"And you're clairvoyant?" I said, a twinkle now in my eyes.

"No. But you are, aren't you?"

I smiled then. "It's the Sight, not clairvoyance. I don't see the future, just...possibilities. Feelings."

"And what feeling do you have about...us?" she asked, holding a breath of hope.

I got a flash of insight, just then; I saw a glimpse of me and Zoe in her bed, a child wrapped up in our arms, with her complexion and my hair and eyes. A silver pentacle, twin to mine, rested on a cord around his neck.

I must have been staring into space, because she shook me out of it. "What was it?"

"Possibilities." I said, smile broadening. She reached out and took the denarius, tossing it onto the console and leaning in to kiss me.

Mal sat silently at the table now, as the others discussed possibilities; Inara was thinking of calling in her contacts in the Guild; Jayne, Simon and River were discussing possible methods of getting near to Nicodemus and Blue Sun, and Kaylee was talking with Bob about ways of magically enhancing Serenity.

He had the envelope from Book in his hands; hands trembling, he tore the envelope, and opened it, looking at the neatly written words on the cream-colored paper.

Mal,

If you're reading this, it's likely I'm gone. I can only hope that you've managed to keep the straight and narrow path in my absence.

I've not been entirely honest with you about my past, as you may well have guessed. It's not for lack of trust, simply the knowledge that you wouldn't be capable of understanding at the time. Something tells me that when you read this, you'll finally be capable. Although my sight isn't particularly clear now, I can see that you'll have met somebody very special, and learned some extraordinary things.

I regret that I am not there to shoulder this burden with you. I've left something important with these notes; I can see now that you'll know who to give it to. She's a rare gift, Mal. Keep her safe, and help her find her path; she will help you find yours in return.

Your true test is still coming. Face it, and you may find a measure of the peace you've been searching for.

Goodbye,

Derrial Book

He looked up, and the others were staring at him. He grinned weakly, and the others smiled back, just as uncertainly. Jayne didn't smile, but he had the smirk on his face that Mal had come to trust.

Harry and Zoe came out of the bridge hall now, Harry standing resolutely, Zoe under his arm.

"I'm getting the start of an idea."

Neil Adur received the 'Wave from his agents on Harvest, and his temper exploded.

"Hawkings!" he bellowed, and his chief lieutenant rushed in; he blanched at the mask of rage Mr. Adur had on his face.

"Our team of troubleshooters and Mr. Riel have been reported missing. Nobody's seen a whisper of them, but the ship they were on has reported that Serenity took off soon after they departed for her."

"Ung jeong jia ching jien soh!"

"I'm beginning to regret not bringing the Alliance into this."

"Sir, that wouldn't get us what we want. They'd just as likely snatch them away and put them in a secure jail, or just kill them."

"I know that!" Adur snapped, and for a moment Hawkings saw the glimmer of a strange symbol on his forehead, a strange vibrato in the man's voice.

"Sir...I don't mean to make note of it, but you've come very close to showing your...other half recently, very publicly. It could expose your cover. Is this Dresden really that important?"

"He's a goddamn thorn in my side, is what he is. Thought I'd been rid of him on Earth-that-was."

"How could he appear here and now?"

"I intend to find out, right before I gut him."

"So you're saying you want to drop right into their headquarters and attack him in his office."

"Exactly." I said, a smile on my face.

"Sorry, I don't think I heard ya quite right. Ye're sayin' you wanna drop into his headquarters and kill him right in his office?"

"Can you think of a better way?"

Mal's mouth worked several times, opening and closing, sort of like a drowning fish.

"I admit, it'll be tricky. I'm going to be pushing the limit on what I can do, and when we get in, I don't expect anyone but me, River, and Mouse will be able to stand up to them."

"So you're sayin' you wanna go in there and just waltz in? Get past the guards, past the surveillance?"

"Yep." I said, an infuriating smile on my face.

Mal stood up abruptly, stalking off into the cargo bay.

The others looked at me, sheepish grins and confused looks on their faces.