Disclaimer: I own very little.
Nothing in Tennis
"Love means nothing in tennis, but in life, it is everything."
- Anonymous
Chapter 8
Musings
"Collecting data on Rikkai, now?" he asked, sitting down next to Dan to wait for the rest of the team to show up. It was rare that he was the second one here, and every moment alone with Dan was to be enjoyed to the fullest. "Who's your current victim?"
"Marui Bunta-san." Surprisingly, Dan didn't even protest at the word "victim." Interesting, mused Sengoku. "My net play could use quite a lot of work, and I thought his volleys might be worth another look."
"Marui's volleys?" Sengoku echoed. "But, Taichiichi, he's known as the volley master! Wouldn't it make sense to learn something, you know, simpler at first?"
Dan sighed. "Sengoku-buchou, the first non-standard serve I ever learnt properly was the Twist Serve. I don't exactly make a habit of starting out easy desu."
"Point, I guess. And if you think you can pull it off, well, why not?" Sengoku turned his eyes back to the screen, which currently showed a red-haired boy. "…Do you think so?"
"With enough practice? Yes, I can desu. It probably won't be easy, though; I'm not exactly a serve and volleyer."
"No, you're just an all-rounder." Sengoku wrapped an arm around Dan's shoulders. "Look, kid, you're going to do just fine. If those volleys take too much time to learn, try something simpler."
"I know I'm going to do just fine. The problem is, I don't know if just fine will be enough." Cocking his head to the side, Dan looked intently as Marui executed yet another volley. "So, starting with a primary goal of twenty-five degrees, and taking into account…"
Sengoku tuned out Dan's mumbling, knowing from the low tones it wasn't meant for him anyway. Never mind dating, at times like this he had to wonder how Dan tolerated him around, and vice versa – after all, their views on life were quite drastically different. While Dan calculated things and tried his best to predict everything as accurately as possible, Sengoku was quite content to leave everything up to chance. In tennis, he relied mostly on power, while Dan preferred technique due to his lack of physical strength. He was a terrible flirt, while Dan preferred to keep the public display of affection to minimum whenever it went past the innocence of holding hands. By all logic, they should have broken up before they even got together.
But then, that was exactly why he was called lucky, right? Because sometimes, he defied all logic.
Still mumbling and scribbling apparently nonsensical figures in his notebook, Dan leant his head against Sengoku's shoulder, never taking his eyes from the screen.
Oh, yes. Definitely Lucky Sengoku.
Dan was somewhat relieved to find the house empty as he came home. A note on the kitchen table told him that his mother had gone shopping and his sister was playing with the neighbour's daughter. She was probably going to come home soon and wouldn't Dan look after her until she came back?
Like she had to even ask. That was what he did anyway, wasn't it? Looking after Meiko, always, everywhere. Somebody had to, after all, and if it wasn't him or his mother, who was going to do it?
He worried, sometimes, about what might happen to her during long practices when he was unable to look after her. That was why he always hesitated about staying away for longer than absolutely necessary even on the days his father hadn't told him which time he should be back.
Soon she'd be old enough to go to school, thankfully, and hopefully spend more time over at friends and such. She was growing up, as was he, and though his mother was too afraid to do so, as soon as he was old enough to get a proper job he planned to take his sister and leave. Surely it would manage, right? Maybe even their mother would dare to leave if she wouldn't be the only one supporting them, they could all leave and go somewhere far enough that his father couldn't find them anymore.
If only he could survive for long enough.
Soon enough he heard a hesitant, "I'm home," from the door. Walking to greet his sister, he found Meiko looking cautiously around as though to check whether he was the only one home.
"Welcome home, Meiko-chan," he said softly. "Father isn't home yet."
He felt pained at the way her expression brightened at the news. Something like this shouldn't have happened, shouldn't have been allowed to happen… but he couldn't help it, could he, and thus he simply had to live with it.
"Ne, Nii-chan, do you have lots of homework?" asked Meiko. "Can you play with me, please?"
"I'm afraid I do, Meiko-chan," Dan sighed. "But you can play in my room if you want desu. Then we can keep each other company."
"Okay desu!" Smiling happily, Meiko ran into her own room to get her toys. He thought of reminding her about the importance of a proper snack, but then decided against it, heading towards his room. He had no idea when their father would come home, and he wanted her out of the way by then. If that meant letting her skip eating to get her out of sight faster, then so be it.
Soon enough he was working on his Physics homework, listening idly as Meiko came up with the most exciting adventures for her dolls. It somewhat bothered him how often the general plot of whatever she played consisted of a mighty hero or magical being of some kind saving poor princesses and their little children from horrible monsters that more often than not had nothing to do with dragons. It wasn't healthy, he thought, or at least not the reasons behind her mild obsession, and hearing it always hurt him anyway since he knew all too well there were no such saviours in real life.
Their father sure knew how to ruin a life early on.
Was that man his father, anyway? Or were all those hateful claims true and he was truly a bastard? He wouldn't mind it, really, not if it meant not being related to the man. But it wasn't a choice or anything, was it, and his mother always insisted otherwise… not that she could say anything else, of course. Who knew what the man would have done to her, and him, too. And what if Meiko-chan was then left alone with the man? He simply couldn't allow that to happen!
He didn't resemble the man much, at least, but that wasn't much of a proof. Many people he knew didn't resemble their parents at all. By appearance, at least.
He'd read somewhere that people who had grown up in an abusive home tended to either be violent themselves, or end up in abusive relationships. The former certainly didn't apply to him, and he doubted Sengoku would count for the latter, but…
Sometimes, he did wonder why he still felt so attracted to Akutsu.
"Nii-chan?" Meiko suddenly asked, making him look up. "Do you like anyone?"
What a great timing his little sister had, indeed! Dan considered the question for a moment. Of course, the answer was clear, but whether he could risk certain people finding out, well, that was another thing entirely. Finally, though, he sighed, not entirely unhappily. "Yes, I do desu."
"And do they like you back?" Meiko cocked her had to the side in question, her games forgotten for now.
"So they say desu." And Dan was going to believe it. He had to, if he wanted any chance of staying even relatively happy in the middle of everything. And why would Sengoku lie to him about something like that? "We are… together."
"That's good." Meiko looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "Who is it?"
Dan hesitated for a moment. Finally, he said, "Promise you won't tell Father?"
Meiko nodded seriously. Young though she was, she already knew that there were some things Father must absolutely not know. She could surely keep a secret.
Opening a drawer on his desk, Dan drew out a pile of photographs. Spreading it on his desk, he looked through them until he found a particular one. In the picture Sengoku grinned at the camera, his fingers forming a victory sign. "It's this person," he said, giving the picture to Meiko.
"Ooh." Meiko studied the picture intently. "…Does he hit you, Nii-chan?"
Dan's eyes widened in shock. "Of course not!" he replied with absolute certainty in his voice. "He never would desu."
"Do you hit him, then?"
Rising from his chair, Dan dropped down to his knees next to his sister. "Look, Meiko-chan, being in a relationship doesn't always mean someone gets hurt desu. Neither I nor Sengoku-senpai – that's his name – would ever even dream of hitting the other desu. What Father does… it's… wrong." Even though even he sometimes had to remind himself of the fact. The human mind was an incredible thing when it attempted to shield itself from pain.
"Why does he do it, then?" Meiko looked at him innocently, obviously trusting him to give her an answer. Dan swallowed, unable to do so, simply drawing her into a hug.
"I don't know, Meiko-chan," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I really don't know desu."
Meiko didn't say anything else, now, simply hugged him back as tightly as she could. Dan stayed quiet as well, his thoughts now revolving around his boyfriend.
If his father ever found out, there'd certainly be hell to pay. And, if things got bad enough, Sengoku might be hurt, too. That was something he could not allow to happen – but how could he prevent it?
He probably should start avoiding Sengoku, too, but it would hurt too much. He already hurt whenever he caught a glimpse of Akutsu at school, and he'd heard the third-year had started skipping classes and that really wasn't good, especially on his last year, but what could he do? Dan itched to go and talk with him, nag at him like he'd always used to, but if he did do that Akutsu would get involved and that could only end badly. At least Sengoku never asked him questions, anymore, never wondered why Dan still wouldn't let him even see him without a shirt, never showed any signs of suspecting anything beyond his usual off-court clumsiness. Surely, if he just never said anything, he could keep Sengoku far away from his father…
If he couldn't, well… He'd just have to. Losing Akutsu hurt so much, even if it had been by choice; if he lost Sengoku, too, whether by choice or not, he wasn't sure he could bear it. And he had to stay strong, had to stay strong for the sake of his mother and Meiko. Had to stay strong to survive.
If only it hadn't been so difficult…