Hi Guys! Thanks so much for your reviews to the last chapter :D And to everyone who favourited, followed and recommended this fic since the last chapter! I've gotten this one done a little faster than expected ;)
It's a little different from the last one; back to Beth and Daryl! Hope you all enjoy ;)
xxx
Daryl spent the next three days digging.
Graves first and then trenches; a further measure to try and keep this place safe for them. And it was therapeutic, almost; out here he could just forget all the crap that had went down that night. For a while, just forget that they had lost two of their own; that they had almost been run out, almost lost their home again, for the third time. And all that it meant; that he couldn't protect them, they would never be safe, they could never let their guard down.
And then there was Beth.
Beth, who just kept pushing and turning his world upside down; this girl who was the only thing good and bright that was left in it. And he still couldn't make sense of the fact that she wanted him, that she was with him; but he wouldn't fight that or question it because he knew that, if he were to ever lose her or not have her in his life, then there just wouldn't be a point to all this anymore.
This thought, this realisation had come to him just recently; had almost knocked him for six when it did, as he had watched and feared for her when she had run out onto that field. And then what had happened next, when she had called him out for wanting to protect her, he didn't understand what she wanted or what she was saying; not at first. Protecting her was one of the few things he could actually give her; was the only thing he knew how to do.
But it was more than that; she spoke so flippantly, so casually about her own death, as if it was the most inevitable and natural thing in the world, not stopping to even think what it would do to him if she was gone. And, until that morning, he hadn't really thought like that either. Hadn't really considered how things would be if her lost her again; wouldn't let himself.
And so it had come to him like a bolt to the chest when he thought about it; he didn't want to live in this world if Beth Greene wasn't in it.
This world wasn't worth it, without her.
And surely that wasn't normal; surely no one thought like that. And he had been torn when she had called him out; torn between wanting to take her in his arms and hold her close, against the alternative which was just running. Running scared, like he would have done before; because he this was more than he had ever expected, more than he could take.
But he didn't want to run. Not this time.
"How's Beth holdin' up?"
Daryl glanced over the small distance to where Rick stood; shovel in his hand, working on the trenches with him. He swallowed and shrugged, looking down; "She's okay."
He hoped she was; hadn't really had the chance to speak to her properly since that morning. Never having time and never away from everyone else. He wasn't sure if they were fighting, if this was still a fight; or if it was just circumstances keeping them apart. But their family needed them and they all had jobs to do, at least, that's what she would say.
He and Rick carried on until sundown; barely speaking. Nothing left to say; they'd said and done this all before. Done losing people; done losing hope, a big fat reality check slapping them in their faces just when they started to think things were going to be okay. That they could be safe.
He had gone to the study where Glenn was still recovering, Maggie by his side, and where the fresh water was that had been brought up that morning. Washed his hands and face with it in the corner; not saying anything other than a greeting and a nod at the others in the room for a while until Maggie spoke up.
"Beth's in the treehouse."
Daryl lifted his head, meeting her eyes.
Maggie gave him a slight smile; "Said she's gonna sleep up there tonight."
Daryl swallowed, mulling on that for second, before giving her a nod.
They hadn't been to the treehouse since that night; both opting to stay close to everyone else in light of what had happened.
Now, though, he went to the tree without question; guessed that was the point of Maggie telling him in the first place. Figured now was the time to make this right; to talk this thing out and get it sorted, get it back to good. But he faltered at the bottom of the ladders; unsure how to do this, unsure what to say. Still not wanting to agree that she should put herself in danger, not when he could protect her, but knowing that she was right and it wasn't up to him.
If she wanted to fight, if she wanted to change, then who was he to stop her doing that; it wasn't his call.
And he knew he had hurt her, at least a little bit, even if she hadn't said as much; even if she had just accepted his response to what had happened to the Church and known that he would shut down. He didn't want to; didn't want to shut her out like that but he didn't know any other way.
Wanted her to see him but didn't know how to show her.
Daryl drew in a breath, steadying himself, knowing what he had to do; and stepped up onto the ladders, making his way up to the perch. A little candle was burning inside; he could see the light and shadows dancing on the wooden boards at his feet, beneath the curtain that concealed what was inside.
But he knew what was inside; knew that little room like that back of his hand now and he knew the girl that was inside, was starting to really know her now and realise what she meant to him. He hesitated at the curtain; guessed she would have heard him coming up the ladders but had made no move to greet him and wondered. Wondered if maybe she didn't want to see him; if this was a fight and this place was hers. She called it theirs, wanted to share it, but he gave her this place; it was hers, and he would only be there if she wanted him to be.
Daryl bit his lip and then rapped his knuckles quietly against the wood frame at the opening to the structure; heard shuffling on the other side, heard footsteps on the floor and then Beth popped her head around the side of the curtain, looking confused.
Her confusion seemed to increase when she noticed it was him, and she gave him an impish smile; "You're knocking now?"
Daryl swallowed, averting his eyes and shrugging; "Wasn't sure if y' wanted t' be alone."
Her smile faltered a little, her eyes softening, and then she shook her head; "Nope."
Daryl held her eyes for a second before looking down; feeling awkward and uncomfortable, not sure where to start and the way she looked up at him, her expression so open, her eyes so trusting made him feel so much better and so much worse all at once. He exhaled, glancing around the platform of the perch, and then frowned and stepped in further, leaning against the door frame.
He met her eyes, uncertainly, his voice quiet and hesitant; "'m sorry."
Beth got a little furrow on her brow for a second, looking confused and then surprised. She bit her lip, looking down; "For what?" She raised her eyes back to his, her chin still tucked down low, looking at him carefully.
"Bein' an asshole."
Her lips twitched a little.
He cleared his throat, glad she seemed to be receptive to what he was saying, even if he wasn't all that sure what to say himself. He went with their fight; what had happened between them then easier than talking about how he felt, about what had happened to their people and his sudden realisation as to how he felt about her; "Listen. Y' wanna fight? I ain't gonna stop ya."
She met his eyes sharply.
Daryl shrugged, looking down; "Ain't up t' me." He glanced out over the field, thinking for a second, and she was quiet, seeming to think too, before he went on; "If y' wanna fight; I wanna train some more. Proper this time; no clownin' around."
Beth bit her lip, looking at him, before she gave him a small smile and nodded, speaking quietly and sounding grateful when she did; "Okay."
The two of them were silent for a moment, both of them seeming to think on what was just said; and he wondered if she had something to say, something that she was holding back, but he doubted it. She was always open, always so willing to be vulnerable with him, and he felt like an ass that he couldn't give her that back; that he didn't know how to do it, didn't know the right thing to say.
He drew in a breath, wanted to try; "Ain't ever gonna stop tryin' t' protect ya, Beth."
She met his eyes.
He shrugged; "Y' ain't gonna change my mind on that."
She held his look for a second and then a small smile spread; recognising the meaning behind it, how it went back to an exchange they had had not too long ago but seemed liked a lifetime now. She rolled her eyes slightly, smiling more fully now, and stepped out onto the platform and walking over to lean against the railing. She turned to face him when she did; her expression warm and he guessed he was doing this right.
He swallowed, looking down; feeling unsure in light of what he now knew about his feelings for her. Wanting her to know; wanting her to feel it too.
"It's okay, you know," Beth said, finally, going on at his confused look; "Being afraid." He averted his eyes, looking back at her when she went on; "I'm scared too, sometimes. Scared that something might happen to you."
"Hm. Guess you're just better at this."
"Just 'cause I know it's worth it," Beth smiled at him, fondly; "Meant what I said when I came to you before; when I said that. We're pretty great sometimes, right?"
Daryl gave her a small smile, looking down. Knowing she was right; "Dunno how y' can be so sure all the time."
"What do you mean?"
"'bout this. Like everything's gonna be fine just by believin' it."
Beth's eyes softened, went contemplative as she bit her lip, averting her eyes for a second. She drew in a breath, swallowing before speaking; "It's not that." She met his eyes, her voice quiet; "I know it might not be; I know things could change and that things could get bad." She shrugged; "Just not gonna let that stop us, that's all." She looked down, biting her lip, shaking her head a little; "I don't believe everything's gonna be just fine."
Daryl lowered his eyes, shifting a little, not really sure what to say; if he should step up and say that it would be, lie to her and say it would all be okay. That they could have what people had before, back in her old world.
He didn't have to.
"But that's okay," she said, assuredly, as she met his eyes again, "That doesn't matter. I believe in you and me; that's enough." She gave him a smile; "That's why I'm sure all the time."
Daryl watched her, transfixed by the trust and earnestness in her expression as she spoke, as she laid it all out for him; "This thing we're doing; it's not even a choice anymore."
Daryl frowned, his expression questioning; not really sure what that meant and what she was saying.
She drew in a breath.
"Daryl, I'm yours."
She stood before him, completely open to him and entirely sincere, with such raw vulnerability that he felt something swell up inside him; something intense and overwhelming. And he realised he wasn't alone in this; she felt it too and wanted him the same way that he wanted her. He wanted her to know; needed her to see how he felt and know that she wasn't the only one willing to give themselves completely to this.
But words failed him; words had never come easy and he doubted they ever would.
But he realised, then, that maybe that didn't matter; she knew him, could read him. And he knew that all he had to do was show her.
Daryl drew in a breath, before crossing the short distance from the doorframe to where she stood; noted the way her eyes darted up, nervous and tender and exposed, and he felt an overwhelming flood of affection and devotion and yearning that he had to make her see; took her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers; his own insistent against hers.
He wasn't shy; he wasn't hesitant; was letting her know that he wanted this, wanted her as his, and needing her to know that she had him; had all of him.
He felt Beth's hands slip up his chest to his neck; opened her lips for his and sighed into his mouth when he deepened the kiss in turn and felt her hands slide from the side of his neck up into the back of his hair. Daryl drew back slowly, pressing his forehead to hers as he looked down at her; saw her looking up at him, shy and yet keen, touching her lips back to his softly for a second. And when she looked up at him again he knew that she understood; knew where this was going.
Daryl leaned in, kissing her slowly this time, his hands sliding from her face, to her neck, down her arms, and he stooped slightly for a second to grip her thighs and lifted her up, felt her wrap her legs around his waist, never letting his lips leave hers as he walked them from the platform and into the treehouse.
Daryl knelt down, laid her down gently on the blankets, the same way he did a few nights before; staying close, still above her, his hand trailing up to support her at the nape of her neck. She smiled up at him, biting her lip; glanced down from his face to his chest and gently trailed her hands down the line of vision her eyes had followed until they reached the hem of his shirt.
He watched her for a second, saw a little spark of mischief in her eyes, and he smiled before reaching up, gripping the fabric behind his shoulders and tugging it up; felt her doing the same at the bottom, her palms running up his stomach as she did, until he cast it aside. She reached up, touching him; his shoulders, his chest and his sides, like she often did whenever she got the chance to, trailing her fingers and making the muscles ripple beneath them.
He let her explore for a little while, let her lean up and press her lips to his skin, a little shy seeming as she trailed her lips the way he did to her sometimes; when she'd make little whimpers and noses, telling him without words that she liked it. He was starting to know, now, what she liked; where to touch and what to do to make her sigh and moan and squirm.
After a bit, he'd had enough of holding back; wanted this to be for her and wanted to show her, wanted her to see.
He gently pressed his hand to her shoulder, urging her to lie back; and she did, looking up at him curiously when her head met the pillow. He leaned down, kissing her again, softly, before he pressed a kiss to her chin and then her throat; felt her head arch back and he trailed his tongue down the column, before moving into the side and biting down; hearing the little gasp he knew now to expect.
He took his time there, using his lips and his teeth and his tongue to tease her; did it until she sighed and arched up into his hands that trailed her sides. And then he drew back, lifting his weight from her a little and then he reached down, hooking his index finger beneath the hem of her shirt and casually drew it up, just a little, exposing her hip and her side to him.
He leaned down, pressing his lips to the curve of her hip, then down a little further to the little dip next to the bone; flicked his tongue out to tease her. And then his other hand slid up her other side, his palm beneath the fabric and his thumb hooked over it, and he leaned down to press a kiss to her navel, just above the waistline of her jeans.
He heard a soft sound escape her lips as he flicked out his tongue, took his time as he made his way up her stomach, wanted to take his time with all of this; wanted her squirming and ready and loving this and he had never wanted that for anyone before, never cared enough to do it like this. He teased her with his lips and tongue as his palms pressed against her and slowly slid upwards, dragging her shirt up with them and exposing her to him until they reached the fabric of her bra underneath.
Daryl touched her with one hand, slipping it under her shirt completely and circling her with his thumb before using it to tug the fabric down; and he leaned up, replacing the motions his thumb had been making with his tongue.
Beth was squirming a little now; moving beneath him, her breaths coming in little pants and little moans escaping her lips every now and then and he guessed she was unaware of them; the sweet sounds she made when he teased and touched her. She reached up, her hand gripping the back of his hair and he felt her arch up against him; little things like that driving him wild and he lifted his hand to touch alongside his lips.
And then he drew back a little, grasping the hem of her shirt where it was bunched up at her chest, and slowly pulled it up and over her head. Beth bit her lip, looking shy as he drank in the sight of her; perfectly dishevelled beneath him. He swallowed, reaching down, his hand going to her hair and he tugged gently at the bobble that held her hair back; and she tilted her head to the side to help him, allowing him to tug it free. She leaned forward, shaking it out and bit, and then lay back, looking up at him.
That implicit trust in her eyes was back again and something else; something he was starting to notice in her eyes more and more, this tenderness that he couldn't quite place, but it made him feel warm and shy and good; and he reached up to stroke her cheek, speaking quietly; "Y' wanna stop, y' just say."
Beth gave him a smile, affection in her eyes and still so trusting, nodded a little; "'kay." Her smile turned a little mischievous; "Won't, though."
Daryl gave her a smile, leaning down to pressing his lips to her shoulder, speaking quietly; "Don't mean just that."
"Huh?" Beth bit her lip, looking at him curiously, and he gave a little shrug and a grin and he saw her eyes spark playfully, before she reached behind herself and unhooked her bra; didn't move to pull it off though, looked at him expectantly, and he smiled, obliging, hooking his finger around the front and pulling it from her; tossing it aside.
He looked at her again for a bit; noticed her lower her eyes, shyly, and he could see the little blush stain her cheeks as she flushed under his gaze. He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers again, before trailing his lips back down; exploring her with kisses and little licks and bites, showering them on her neck, her chest and her stomach; back to taking his time, back to drawing this out.
Beth pressed herself up against him; starting to whimper a little after a while; arched up against his hands and his lips and twisted amongst the blankets; wanting more and reaching for his belt. He drew back, playfully swatting her hand away; and she frowned, opening her eyes and looking up at him curiously, but he didn't answer, just kept gripping and pressing into her and teasing her with his mouth until her sighs became breathier and her moans started coming more frequent and then he moved lower, slowly kissing his way from her chest down to the waistband of her jeans.
He glanced up at her, gauging her reaction as he unbuttoned the top, slipping his thumbs beneath the fabric at each side of her hips. She bit her lip, just watched him, and he leaned down, pressing his lips to her navel again as he pulled her jeans down; felt her twist a little to help, and he slid his hands back up the front of her thighs, his lips going to soft flesh just below her hip as she wiggled and kicked her jeans off and away from them.
His fingers toyed with the cotton at her hip, all that was left to hide her from him, tugging it down to expose more of her skin and he leaned in, flicking his tongue against it; heard her breathing catch. He slid his other hand up her leg, his thumb trailing up the inside of her thigh slowly, while his mouth moved lower on the other; still teasing her.
He pressed his lips to the inside of her thigh, his thumb stopping high up the inside of her other one, making slow circles and coming up close; very close. He heard her sigh, glanced up and saw her watching, looking nervous and keen all at once, and he slid his thumb up, touching her through the fabric. Her hips twitched a little and he heard her gasp; smiled against her thigh when he realised how sensitive she was to it and then made slow circles with his thumb.
He heard little puffs of air and sighs escape her lips; felt her hips twitch a little beneath him; saw her toes curl after a while as she lifted herself a little off the blankets, up into his touch.
Daryl leaned in, sliding his hand away and pressing his mouth against the fabric instead, his lips parting, breathed out against her, and he heard her gasp as she jerked against him and he grinned; reaching up to tug her panties down and tossed them aside in one fluid motion.
He heard his name breathed from her lips; glanced up and saw her looking down at him, looking nervous now and unsure. Daryl gently caressed her thigh, ran his hands up and down her legs soothingly. He titled his head; asking her silently if she wanted him to stop. He saw her eyes soften after a second, as she seemed to relax and draw in a shaky breath. She bit her lip and then just watched him; still looking nervous but looking curious now, looking intent.
Daryl ran his hand back up her thigh, slipping it around the back and then leaned down as he lifted it up to sling over his shoulder; leaned in, touching her with his tongue. She jerked again beneath him and he took that as an encouraging sign; gripped her thigh tighter and leaned in further, licking and teasing her with his tongue and his lips, listening to the sounds of her soft whimpers and sighs as indications of where to touch and how to please her.
It wasn't long before she was squirming again and the little whimpers became louder, little moans and gasps taking over; and he felt her hand grip his shoulder; pushing him away a little and then pulling him back, as if it was too much and she wasn't sure if she wanted him to stop or if she wanted more.
He alternated between slow and fast; always teasing and always with precision, knowing from her reactions what her body wanted; carried on for a while, running his hands up and down her thighs, slowly, slowly. Not rushing; savouring the moment.
And then she arched beneath him, a longer moan escaping her, and her grip on him tightening a little; and he felt her start to tremble as she started to come undone and it was exquisite to watch and hear as he did that to her; as he brought her to the edge. Felt her hand grip his shoulder tight, nails biting into the skin, felt her tense beneath him and go silent for a second before she jerked and gasped, louder this time, a soft cry escaping her lips as she arched upwards, reflexively this time, and her legs were shaking as she collapsed back against the blankets; her breaths coming quickly, in little pants.
Daryl felt himself grinning a little as he drew back, resting his chin on her thigh and just watching her; watched as she lay looking upwards at the ceiling, trying to catch her breath and gather her bearings, looking sated and dishevelled and amazed. His grin widened and he propped himself up on his elbow; rested his chin in his hand and the motion drew her eyes from the ceiling down to him.
She gave him a smile, her shyness seeming to have gone, and then she giggled and it was sweet and beautiful to hear; and then she reached down, grasping him by the hair and tugged him up so that he was lying over her again. She pressed her lips to his and her hands went to his belt and he let her this time.
"Can't believe you still have these on," she muttered and he felt himself chuckle, as she quickly pushed his pants down and off of him, so that he was just as exposed as she was, and he leaned back down and their legs entwined with one another's and their skin pressed together; and it felt incredible, lying there like that with her and he was amazed again at this thing they had; at what this was.
This thing they were doing now, so much more than anything he had ever had or done with anyone.
Beth looked up at him; her expression completely open to him again and he could see so much in her eyes; such devotion and adoration and it almost knocked the air from his chest, seeing someone looking at him like that. He reached up, brushing the hair back from her forehead, and leaned down to press a kiss there; wanted her to feel safe.
He ran the tip of his nose from her brow down to hers, brushing against it affectionately, the way she sometimes did to him and she bit her lip, smiling up at him.
Daryl smiled down at her, asking her the same question as he did the other night; "Okay?"
And they knew what it meant; that this was it, last chance to turn back.
But they both knew it was happening; would happen now; the way they lay there and the way they looked at one another saying it all; they were too far gone not to see this thing through.
She nodded, giving him a shy smile. And he reached over the short distance; pulled open the bottom drawer of her desk and grabbed at the box he had put in there a little while ago, after Glenn had been oh so kind as to offer up one of his boxes to him. He pulled it open, tugging out one of the condoms, and pushed himself up, ripping the foil wrapper open with his teeth.
He looked down, noticed a little grin on Beth's face and he frowned; "What?"
Beth giggled and shrugged; "So, you've been thinking about this for a while?"
Daryl looked down at it, then back at her and smiled, giving her a sheepish shrug, and then he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers; reached down to put it on while he kissed her, drawing back when it was done and nudged himself back between her legs; leaning himself on his elbows on either side of her this time.
Beth bit her lip, looking up at him, looking a little nervous now but the trust was still there, the affection and tenderness still shone in her eyes and he could see her willingness to do this; to give herself to him. He swallowed, overcome again by his feelings for her, leaned down to kiss her again, slowly this time; tried to calm her nerves a little. And he reached down, gently holding her thigh as he leaned in, moved in closer; taking it slow, pushing against and into her gently, not wanting to hurt her but knowing that this would.
He felt her breath catch in his mouth; felt her go tense beneath him, her hand curing against his arm. Daryl drew back a little, touching his forehead to hers; looked down at her. Watched as she bit her lip, eyes glancing downwards for a second, and then she met his eyes and drew in a breath and he felt her try to relax herself; trying not to tense.
Daryl leaned down, pressing soft kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose; saw her smile underneath him and he gently pushed in further, noticed she didn't tense so much this time, and leaned down to kiss her fully as he settled himself and went still; giving her time, giving them both time, just to get used to this, to the feel of him inside of her.
He knew when it started to feel less painful, when she was ready for him to move, when her hands slid up his arms, into his hair and she kissed him deeply, more responsive than before; moving her hips a little beneath him. And he understood, did as she asked without words, started to rock gently, still going slow, waiting until there was a sign she was ready for more.
Her willingness showed when she started a corresponding rocking of her hips against his own and he drew back a little more; moving properly now, but still gentle, not wanting to hurt and not wanting to lose control, but it was becoming difficult as they moved together; as her enthusiasm increased and her hands slid from his hair, to his shoulders, her fingernails trailing softly down his back and then he heard her sigh; and that was it.
Dropped his face against her neck and just gave into it; into this and let himself just be with her; moved against her, his hands skimming and gripping, as his lips pressed into her neck. He heard her sigh again, a little moan escape her and felt her move more freely beneath him; felt her arch up against him, her nails digging in harder and her noises becoming louder, more frequent.
Her leg hooked around his; taking him deeper.
He lost control at the same time she did; felt her quiver and grip him tight; heard her gasp and sigh and felt her writhe against him; and it was incredible, to hear and to feel, and he drew back, looking down at her as they moved; watched as she arched her neck, pressing her head back against the pillow; watched her lips part as another sighed escaped her and the sight pushed him closer; his heart hammering as his breaths came fast and he leaned down to drag his tongue up the column of her throat, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck as he buried his face in it, as he felt himself start to spiral. Heard her moan again close to his ear, louder this time and with abandon, and he was done; felt himself spiralling and losing focus, felt himself shudder and go still; gripping her tight as he lost himself completely and then, as waves of pleasure subsided, collapsed on top of her with a groan.
He felt himself coming down; pressed himself in closer to her, breathing her in and murmuring into her neck; "Beth."
They lay there like that; just breathing for a while.
And then he felt her shift beneath him and draw back a little to look at him, and he lifted his eyes, meeting hers. She bit her lip, her eyes scanning his face, and then she gave him a small smile, reaching up to cup his cheek, caressing it with her thumb; "Hmm." And then she leaned in, pressing her lips to his, and they kissed leisurely, basking in the afterglow.
He drew back, slowly rolled off of her, and rolled himself onto his back, keeping his arms around her and pulling her with him; settled her against his chest. He reached up to stroke her hair, leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of it, and then felt her nuzzling in close against him and he smiled, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.
Realised that maybe he was wrong.
Maybe Beth Greene had changed his mind once again; and maybe things would be okay. If only for a little while. Because lying here with her, just being with her; completely vulnerable, his guard down and entirely open to her, he knew that they'd gotten this right; that they'd managed to find something they always seemed to crave and search for.
Lying there, in one another's arms; he couldn't imagine any place safer than this.
xxx
;-)