Over the Hills and Far Away

Chapter Ten – Deals

Though Purple's voice carried down the corridor, the irate and excitable Tallest didn't get much further than stepping into the room that they were being detained in before the guards that flanked the corridors grabbed him firmly by the arm and pulled him away, maybe not as politely as they were supposed to, considering his high social status, but certainly not with the same rough contempt that they had handled Red with. Red leapt to his feet, but he only caught one glimpse of shining purple eyes before the door closed, leaving him alone with Trix. Now that she had her welcome over and done with, it seemed she didn't have a lot to say, so they sat in silence.

Red sat back down, defeated, as Purple was dragged from the room, lying back on his cot again and closing his eyes. There wasn't a lot else that he could do, under the circumstances. After a while, Trix hoisted herself off the bunk to start pacing the cell. Red cracked an eye open and watched her. She was making him feel extremely claustrophobic, and the constant pacing was also very annoying. He considered ordering her to stop, but thought better of it. He reminded himself that he probably wasn't the first cellmate she had been left to deal with.

She sat back down eventually, the frame of the bed creaking alarmingly at her weight. The door opened again, and Trix made a grumbling noise, as though she was annoyed at being interrupted. Red glanced up, hoping it was Purple and that he would be able to explain. When he saw who it was, he sat up sharply. Calico walked over to the glass and smirked at him, her eyes shining zealously. He glared back in return, much to her amusement.

"Why are you here?" he growled, and she smiled.

"I snuck past the guards whilst they were dragging Purple off. Turns out you're not allowed visitors," she said, and Trix sat up at the sound of her voice.

"No, I meant why did you come here? Haven't you done enough?" Red hissed, but before she could even reply, Trix had leapt up from her bunk and crossed to the glass, her face twisted into an expression of pure loathing. She looked terrifying, and Calico stepped back smartly.

"You!" Trix spat, "You repulsive, twisted little bitch! Get the hell out of my cellblock, you..."

She broke off into a long string of curse words that Red had never heard before. He didn't need them to be translated to understand the message that his cellmate was trying to get across. Calico stared at her for a while, confused, but soon recognition dawned on her face, and she smirked again, though she still looked apprehensive and slightly surprised. Though she and Trix evidently knew each other, perhaps the latter had changed a lot since Calico had last seen her.

"Well, well, Princess Trixalie! Long time, no see," Calico laughed, and Trix hissed like a cat, the short quills on her head lengthening like claws.

"Five years, to be precise," she growled, "And I've spent two of them in here, because of you."

Calico simply smiled and turned back to Red, leaving him wondering how the two females knew each other, and whether Calico had been joking when she had called his cellmate a princess. She certainly didn't look like any princess he had ever seen. He looked at the thin chain that glinted around Calico's neck, his eyes following it to where it disappeared down the front of her dress. He knew what was fastened to the other end of it, and what it had cost him. He glared at her once more. Trix, or Trixalie, had not noticed this, too caught up in her outrage at Calico being in the same room as her.

"He was mine, you snivelling little thief, and you know it," she whispered.

"Get over yourself, Miss Muscle," Calico smirked, "Your darling little Prince was all money and no..."

"THAT WAS THE POINT!" Trix exploded, transforming into something monstrous in her rage. Her muscles rippled, her eyes flamed, the quills on her head standing up. Poison glinted on the ends of her teeth in deadly dew-drops. "We had no money! And he was going to bring our nation money! And if you hadn't have stolen him before he mated with me, we might have had some money! Do you understand? I wouldn't have had to resort to..."

She broke off and shuddered; evidently too full of regret at whatever she had done for her own Empire to repeat it. Red lay back on his bunk, tired of the argument. He no longer cared about what Calico had to say, though he was still mildly interested in the relationship that Purple's mate had with Trix. An onslaught of shouting and smirking and insults raged above his head as he lay there, half-listening, mulling over his own situation. He was trapped in the prison and hadn't even been able to tell Purple what had gone on. Yet he knew that his co-tallest wouldn't really believe that he had done it. Surely Purple would be able to get him out of this hell-hole?

Trix had turned back to her native language in her fury, a strange series of strangled hisses and throaty growls that Calico seemed to be able to understand. The Eiscalian Princess was gesturing rudely with her slender fingers, fingers that looked too elegant to be capable of forming such obscene shapes. Trix opened her mouth and roared like a lion, her jaw unhinging to show two rows of deadly, dripping teeth, sharp claws sliding out of her own fingers. Calico didn't even flinch, despite how close she was to the glass. Red, on the other hand, felt as though he might need a change of underwear soon. The guards that stood outside the room opened the door, about to run in, but Calico waved them away impatiently.

"Why don't you come over here and do that," Calico taunted, and Trix raised a powerful arm, aimed her fist at Calico's cruelly beautiful face and swung it, only for it to smack into glass. She howled, more from frustration than pain, and Calico laughed. It wasn't the tinny, affected laughter that she had spared for Red's jokes, but a strange and evil cackle that sounded oddly bird-like.

"Oh wait," she giggled, "I forgot. You can't!

"You wouldn't be so cocky if you were in here with me, you worthless coward!" Trix screamed.

"Ugh, you're so stupid," the Eiscalian laughed, "Listen honey, if I'm ever stupid enough to get into a cell with you, I'll let you hit me!"

Red thought that the snarling Calorian he was locked in with would roar again, or smash something up, and he half hoped that the guards would come in and sedate her or something, but instead Trixalie simply sat back down on her bunk, breathing heavily through her nose. Her eyes still flamed as she glared at Calico, but she didn't attempt to take up the worthless fight any longer.

"I'll hold you to it," she said in a low voice, and Calico smiled smugly, before blowing a kiss to Red and slinking out of the room. Trix punched the wall in frustration then, and Red sighed, turning away from the scene with a racing heart. He hoped he never got on his cellmate's bad side in the time that he was here.

--

Purple was still protesting with the gaoler when Calico came back, unnoticed, to the front desk, satisfied now that she had seen who Red was detained with. This gave her a chance to carry out the plan without him interfering. She had already heard about a certain technician by the name of Kubb, who was always happy to do a favour if you gave him the right price. Calico thought she knew exactly what that price would be, but still, she needed to find him before they left, because she had a very important favour to ask. She made her way through the grimly decorated halls, asking for directions every so often, until she came to a nondescript door, tucked away at the end of a dimly-lit corridor.

She knocked on it gently, and heard a gravelly, yet welcoming voice, invite her in. She opened the door and slipped inside. The room was a lot larger than the door suggested, but the whole place was crammed full of gadgets and gizmos that there was barely space to move inside. Several rows of worktops stood in it, the surfaces covered with all manner of claptrap and odds and ends. A glowing orb hovered above each bench, illuminating the room. She wound her way round the tables and benches and cleared her throat.

"Hello? Mr Kubb?" Calico called and a large figure came out from behind a cupboard door. Though the technician's face was hidden by the pile of spare parts that he was carrying, she could see that he was amazingly fat. He waddled over to the bench and deposited the parts, staring at Calico with beady black eyes.

"Hello," he said, fairly indifferently, "What can I do for you, miss?

"I've heard that depends on what I can do for you," she replied silkily, coming up behind him and draping her arms around his shoulders. He picked up a screwdriver and started to take an odd metal box apart, apparently heedless to what she was doing. Slightly put out, she stepped backwards and tried a different approach.

"I have a favour to ask," she said, "I was wondering if you could set up a camera that sends a direct feed to this communicator."

He glanced at the device that she held out and snorted. "Easy," he said, shrugging, before turning back to the jumble of wires on the desk and selecting a large blue one.

"And maybe you could put it in the cell of Tallest Red? I'd make it worth your while," she said delicately. She sat in the enormous chair that was in one corner, spreading her legs and allowing her tongue to creep into the corner of her mouth. He glanced up from his work and raised an eyebrow.

"Whoa now," he said in an amused voice, "Back up there, sister. Listen, sweetheart, I don't want to sound rude, but I'm not interested. So why don't you close your mouth, close your legs and get on up out of my chair? We can talk about this under less personal terms."

She stood up, snubbed, her cheeks flushed and her eyes narrowed. He looked at her, and the pity she saw in his twinkling black eyes only enraged her further. She crossed the room towards him, and he looked into her pinched, irritated face. As he had suspected, when Calico's true colours showed, she was a lot less pretty than she, or anyone else, thought she was. He didn't much care for this female, and thought that he would only be interested in getting her out of her clothes was if she told him there was a pizza hidden down the front of her dress.

"And what are you interested in, Mr Kubb?" she asked coldly. He treated her to a warm and charming smile.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that the way to a male's heart is through his stomach?" he grinned, patting his huge, jiggling belly. Her face, mildly disgusted, seemed to amuse him all the more. "I hear the snacks on the Massive are the best in the universe. If you can divert a load to me every Aural month, I'll get your Tallest to dance the tango with that charming cellmate of his."

"The camera will be quite enough," Calico said dryly, and he enveloped her slender hand in his chubby fingers and shook enthusiastically.

--

By the time she got to the front desk, Purple was in an extremely bad mood. He had been told to go away by someone shorter than him, of a different (and therefore lesser) species than him, and of a lesser social rank than him. He couldn't go and see Red and ask him what the hell he thought he was doing, getting himself locked away. And he couldn't even leave for the Massive, because apparently that stupid Eiscalian mate-slave had wandered off on her own. He was complaining about all of this to nobody in particular, and though the few service drones that had come with them were attempting to console him, he didn't seem to be listening to them. His voice, high and whining, cut through Calico like a knife. She forced a smile and walked over.

"Are we going back to the Massive now, my Tallest?" she asked humbly and he let out a frustrated groan, deciding to ignore her as well.

"Back to the Massive," he said to a service drone, who nodded and led them back to the teleporters.

Even when they were finally back at the Massive, Purple didn't relax. He didn't know what to do; and zipped back and forth in the bridge on his hover belt, gibbering away to himself as he always did when he was in a panic. Eventually, a brave drone came forwards and cleared her throat, attempting to speak over him. Surprisingly, he stopped still at her voice and listened, and Calico considered that he wasn't very good at thinking for himself; more content to be told exactly what to do when it came to ruling the Empire.

"Sir!" the drone said clearly, "I have received a message from the control brains. You need to make a public announcement, explaining what has happened to the former Tallest Red."

"Public... F-Former? He's not coming back?" Purple asked and he sat down on the couch, looking pale and confused. "What am I going to say?" he moaned to himself, and he paused, seemingly waiting for Red to answer him. His face fell when he was met with silence.

Calico turned and left the room, going off to her quarters and looking around the Massive with distaste. She didn't like the ship, and thought that when she cracked Purple, she would get him to move back to Irk. She knew from her Universal Geography lessons as a hatchling that there was a fabulous palace on Irk that was built for the first ever Tallest, several thousand years ago. When the Massive was built for Miyuki, the palace fell out of use. She thought that the palace would be perfect for her to live in, unlike this horrible spaceship. There was a small parcel on her bed when she came to her room, and she unwrapped it, smiling. Kubb had sent her the communicator already, and had recorded a message on it for her.

"Hello there, Miss Calico," he said with a smile, "Just to remind you about your deal. I'll keep the camera in Red's cell for just as long as the snacks last me. Take care now."

--

There was a bar on the Massive that was used when the Tallest had important guests to entertain. It was a large room, with a height restriction for Irkens; you had to be a Tall, a Taller or a Tallest to enter. There were plenty of comfortable reclining seats, snacks, and a large communications screen so that the patrons of the bar could watch their favourite shows. The bar itself served a variety of different flavoured sodas for the Tallest and their guests, but it did serve the harder stuff as well; the Irken equivalents to vodka, whiskey, beers and cocktails.

Though the bar was usually full of people, drinking and chatting and gambling, it was completely empty now, apart from one Irken, who sat alone on a barstool, holding a glass in his spindly fingers. Purple sighed as he stared into his drink. The announcement had not gone well; he had been unsure of what to say, and though he had tried to keep his cool, collected leader's image on, he had a feeling that he had sounded nervous. The problem was that was exactly how he felt. When he had gone for the measuring ceremony after Spork's demise, he had thought that he had a pretty good deal. Having another Irken to share the power with simply meant that he didn't have to do as much work, and he had left the more academic side of ruling to Red.

Now that Red was gone, he had no idea what he was supposed to do. He was by no means stupid, but he hadn't done any proper thinking in so long that he was a little out of practise. This wasn't even the real reason that he was feeling this way before, though; he was sure that he could get a Taller to be his advisor or something. Now that Red was in prison, he felt as though he had been abandoned. Suddenly the Massive seemed a very lonely place to be. Irkens were, as a whole, a fairly unfeeling race, and it was extremely rare to see friendships forged between them. He and Red had been together since they were smeets, completing their training together, joining the elite together, becoming Tallest together. They had, over the course of their lives, become friends. The only two Irkens that Purple could think of who were closer than they were would be the male service drones in the Wardrobe Department.

So now he sat in the bar, downing various drinks without talking to the bartender and sighing to himself. Half an hour had passed by the time that Calico came and sat down next to him, unnoticed.

AN

Please review and I shall update soon.

Invader Zim is the property of Jhonen Vasquez. I own Calico, Trix and Kubb.