Disclaiming the Joy: Do not... Own Naruto.... Just pull me across some rusty nails, too, why don'tcha?
Dedicated to... Er......
I kid, Dedicated to Tinker16, as per usual.
So... I just updated all my DMHP stories... You should check them out.... Not in that way.... GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! ^laughs hysterically^ Sorry.
"So Naruto, what's got you looking so frazzled?" Tsunade inquired, steepling her fingers and fixing Naruto with her most serious expression as she inwardly laughed maniacally at Naruto's squirming.
"Er I was- " Naruto blushed, "I was hanging out with an old friend."
"Do you know why I requested you here on this date, at this time?" Tsunade asked gravely, hoping he hadn't overheard her plans when she was making that bet with Iruka.
Naruto shook his head, "Should I?"
"It's because I'm psychic."
Naruto stared at her silently and from the closet, Iruka mentally sent "smart-waves" towards the blonde.
"I know that embarrassing thing you were doing before you came here!" She proclaimed grandly as Naruto looked shocked. Really, if you're blushing, it's got to be embarrassing... "And I brought you here to tell you we don't stand for that sort of thing here in Konoha!"
Meanwhile, in the closet- No Naruto! Don't fall for it!
Naruto's eyes widened, but he recomposed himself (disregarding his deep blush) and rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling nervously, "Oi, Baa-chan, I don't know what's so embarrassing about it."
"It's all a matter of perspective, but I saw it! With... THIS!" Tsunade pointed at the purple diamond on her forehead that Naruto had ignored any explanations of and so had no idea of its true purpose.
"I don't know what you think you saw but Sasuke and I were just wrestling! While he was giving me CPR! Because he hit me too hard! While we were wrestling! AGH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Naruto fled the room, intent on going straight to Sasuke and telling him everything that had happened.
The door to Iruka's closet swung open and the two elder nin stared blankly at each other before Iruka spoke up- "Isn't Sasuke a boy's name?"
Tsunade spoke just after him, complete disbelief in her voice, and no little confusion, "I can't believe I won."
(o0o0o0o0o0o)
"Ba-kaaaaa!" Sasuke flicked the idiot in the head and sat down with an exasperated sigh- although he still pulled Naruto down on to his lap as well. "From what you've told me those two are the most protective of you out of all the ninja you know- and they also happen to be the strongest!"
"I don't-" Sasuke put a hand over Naruto's mouth.
"I know you don't. Trust me, I know. Now then, let's paint a pretty little mental picture for little Naru-chan here, hmm?" Naruto glared at his captor and wiggled his hips against the boy, causing the normally stoic Uchiha to stop. "If you don't want to understand, I could just ravish you right now and then die a horrible death." Naruto's brow furrowed, but he stopped moving around. "Good, now then, let's set the scene. There's a very cute guy who attracts danger and friends like rotting meat attracts flies and can't tell the difference between them." Sasuke gave a pointed look to his blonde captive and Naruto rolled his eyes. "Enter two over-protective, high-ranking ninja who are used to trying to keep people from taking advantage of said cute boy. Add in the wonderful man-" Naruto snorted and Sasuke ignored it gracefully, "-who they will automatically think is either using or corrupting the cute boy and the painting will be of the wonderful man's remains being stomped on by the two overprotective ninja while the cute boy sobs in a corner. Get it?" Naruto nodded and bit Sasuke's hand. Sasuke, however, did not retreat as expected and instead bit down on the juncture of neck and shoulder on the smaller ninja. Naruto growled and twisted, trying to get out of Sasuke's grasp. Sasuke responded by smirking against the boy's skin then craning his neck to catch Naruto's lips. After that, of course, Naruto was a little distracted in his quest for freedom and the "distraction" continued on for just a short while when a loud crack accompanied by a thump as the front door met the floor snapped both boys out of their haze.
"NARUTO! YOU BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Naruto paled as Iruka's voice slammed through the air and into his eardrums. Neither ninja thought of moving from their position, with Naruto straddling Sasuke's lap on the couch and Sasuke's hands up the back of Naruto's shirt, until it was too late...
Tsunade grasped her chest as if a great blow had been struck to her heart as she entered the room and Iruka clutched Tsunade's arm for support. "Our baby's growing up!" Tsunade exclaimed, and both elder ninja turned to each other and held one another tightly to stay standing.
"I knew he couldn't stay an Academy brat forever but was it too much to ask to know his boyfriend before they made out in his living room?" Iruka wailed.
"I wanted to hear the tongue of his boyfriend speak before it was shoved down Naru-chan's throat!" Tsunade lamented.
"IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO HAVE HIM OVER FOR DINNER BEFORE HE'S A PART OF YOU FOREVER?!" They cried together, as if rehearsed.
All the blood was gone from Naruto's face at this point and he pointed at Sasuke, "This is Uchiha Sasuke. We'll all have dinner together at seven."
Iruka patted Naruto's shoulder gravely as Tsunade directed her most infamous death glare at the young Uchiha. They left without another word and Sasuke grimaced as Tsunade pulled the door back into place behind her. "I'm going to have to fix that."
Naruto looked up at him disbelievingly, "That's what you're concerned about."
"I'm amazing. They'll love me." Sasuke deadpanned.
Naruto inspected the normally stoic boy. "It's times like these I don't know if you're joking or not."
Sasuke shoved him off onto the floor and walked jauntily towards his bedroom, "I'm going to change so we can go break pink-girl's heart."
"I don't really want to break her heart!" Naruto called, crossing his arms over his chest, "Can't we all be friends?"
"You don't snog your friends!" Sasuke's voice echoed through the house momentarily before Naruto responded.
"Good point!"