Never Been Kissed

Full Summary - She's never been hip, never been cool, never been in. . . . . . until now. Now in college, Bella is given a chance to be what she's always wanted, by a certain Alice Cullen. Alice does it as a favour, for their friendship, but what happens when Edward Cullen, playboy extraordinaire decides he rather likes the new and improved Bella Swan? Sparks zoom off, and tempers fire up, of course. Will be VERY loosely based on the film.

Disclaimer – Nope, not mine, and it never will be. The OC's will be mine, but will be strongly based on real people.

Warnings – The following story will include: some swearing, mentions of sex, and crude jokes. Nothing smutty. Characters will keep some of their talents, just in milder form, like Jasper will still be able to calm people down easily. And Edward can tell what people are thinking. Will be staying rating T.

Chapter Title – Pizza & Prats

Chapter Quotes –

It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done – My happy ending. Avril Lavigne (That's a awesome song!-MTM)


Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones;
And when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. Victor Hugo

Thanks to my bloody amazing Beta – Marbles The Marble

Still Swearing. Still got IMPORTANT notes at bottom that you really need to read.

Bella

Jaspers not a bad kisser, I'll give him that, but something was missing. You know you can get that special spark and the world just falls away? Well that's what I've read at least. But with Jasper it wasn't there, it was a task, something I had to do, but I didn't enjoy it. But how do you tell him that? How can I say to him, 'I didn't feel it.' I can't. That's the reason I am where I am now.

My neck snapped as I flew around to see who had walked in. It's just my luck. I think I am the only person in the world whose brother would catch them having their first kiss. My first kiss. Those words sound so strange. I'm not longer a kiss virgin. I always wanted my first kiss to be with someone special, not that Jasper isn't special; I just wanted it to be with the person I love. And as much as it pains me to say it; I don't love Jasper. He's a friend, nothing more and nothing less.

Getting back on track.

Emmett.

Fucking Emmett.

My bloody brother!

And Cullen.

But that's not the point. Emmett walked in on me kissing Jasper, and Cullen was with him. What is wrong with the world? I think it's conspiring against me, so eventually I'll want to kill myself. Not that I don't already. It's just so typical it had to be interrupted; I mean I wasn't enjoying it, but still! My first kiss.

"What do you think you are doing!?"

"Don't talk to him like that Emmett! I kissed him!" Oh great. Just great. I really have to learn to keep my fat mouth shut

"Don't stick up for him Bells, I saw him force himself on you."

Force himself on my yeah that's totally true. This is the biggest load of SHIT I've ever heard. Typical really it's Emmett saying it.

"Emmett fuck off."

November 28th – Tuesday

A week. That's how long Jasper and I lasted. Personally I think a week is quite a long time, but according to Emmett it's like nothing. Ah well. I suppose I shouldn't really have expected it to last, after all, I didn't love him. And relationships can't work if only one person is putting in the effort. Not that I wasn't trying.

Okay, I wasn't.

I don't love Jasper. And I never will. There you go! I admit it! But really now I think about it, it's not admitting anything, because I have said anything like 'I Love Cullen.' But that's never going to happen is it? It better not anyway. If it does I will be seriously put out. Not to mention crazy. But then I again I'd have to be to like Cullen anyway; I mean lets face it, he's not attractive. His only redeeming quality is his eyes. And you can barely see them through all his silky-looking hair!

WHOA! Getting back on track.

Emmett wasn't very impressed to find his little sister snogging his best friend. But then again if I found Alice snogging Emmett I'd be pretty pissed off to. But then again, I doubt Alice will ever snog Emmett. Speaking of Alice, she was really off with me since I dated Jasper. I mean, it's not like her, she's usually really chatty – you can never get her to shut up. But I wouldn't even call it dating; all we did was sit there watching movies, while he did my maths. Sometimes we kissed, and once he touched me, but I burst out laughing and he quickly stopped. So really, I don't see what's she jealous about, if she's jealous of anything.

No offense to Jasper, but I could have lived without his fumbling.

Now I wonder what fumbling with Cullen would be like. Would he fumble? What the fuck?! Did I just think that? I think I did. Excuse me, I need to go kill myself and clean out my mind to rid myself of the images.

RING!!

Thank god for that. Any more maths and I think I might just commit suicide.

No.

No way in hell.

I was having such a good day as well.

"Newton I fucking swear I'll put a restraining order on you!"

"Please Bella! Let me start again! I'll be good!"

I could slap myself.

"Newton I'm not interested, please let me alone."

"Bella I can make you forget him!"

"Forget who?"

"Whitlock!"

"Oh. Ohhh! No he's fine. I'm really quite happy thinking off him."

"But I can make you forget him. I can do things he can only dream of?"

Like what exactly? Toss? Because I'm pretty sure Jasper does that to, I mean let's face it, all guys do. (A/n I hope you know what I'm talking about) (and if you do tell me. cause i have no idea on wht the hell is she talking about-MTM)

But then again, maybe Jasper doesn't. Because he isn't very experienced is he? I mean I was only –what- his fifth girlfriend or something…

"Look Mike," yeah Bella, be nice to him, he might leave, "I'm not interested, I'm interested in someone else."

Yeah. That chocolate bar in my bag.

"Just give me a chance Bella!"

"Nope sorry, I have to go" ...eat my chocolate bar.

"Wait, Bella I need to tell you some…" he was cut off as…

I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world,

Life in plastic, it's fantastic,

You can brush my hair, Undress me everywhere,

Imagination like is your creation!

HAHAHAHA! His call track is 'Barbie Girl,' now don't get me wrong I love that song.

But on a guy's phone?

On Mike Newton's phone.

HA!

"Bye Mike."

November 29th – Evening

Mmm. Pizza. Mmm.

Come and get me little anchovies! I will set you free. I love you anchovies! Pepper! Salami! Cheese! Tomato! Ham!

Marry me!

Okay.

I'm calm now.

This is possibly the best idea Alice has ever had. I mean she is totally amazing. I just cannot believe how amazing she is! Wednesday's shall forever be pizza night. In honour of tonight. I think I have found my weakness; anchovies.

But trust me. You ain't seen nothing yet.

Alice is proposing to hers.

I'm serious.

She's proposing to the fucking pizza.

Wait, no she's not.

She's marrying the fucking pizza!

Hey! Where do I fit in in this ceremony?

"Alice! Where am I in your little ceremony!"

"You're the vicar."

"I don't wanna be the vicar."

"Get over it."

9AM the next morning, 6 hours later.

"ALICE CULLEN! WHY AM I ON THE FLOOR?"

No answer. Damn it.

I suppose she's already left, being the nice, nice loving friend she is. Ughh, I shouldn't have gottten up so quickly, the world is spinning around me. I think I need the toilet.

5 Minutes later

Ugh. I definitely needed the toilet. My breath must seriously stink now. I most have thrown up at least a whole pizza.

Glancing up after brushing my teeth I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Hair looks a bit frizzy, but I don't really have time to wash it; I have class at 9: 30. My cheeks are seriously white and look clammy and there's sweat sticking to them. I feel so ill. And 'loser' is written in marker on my forehead.

Wait...WHAT!

Oh holy fuck!

Shit!

Must get it off. Must get it off. Must get it off! I'm going to strangle you Alice Cullen!

I'm going to bloody murder you! I'm going to chop you up into little pieces and feed you to Jasper!

My head hurts, and it still hasn't gone! It's all red now, crap. I'm going to look like such a weirdo.

Everyone's going to see me.

Jasper.

Alice.

Emmett.

Rose.

And Cullen.

Joy.

Someone kill me.

End of Chapter – Review?

oh my God. They got rid of my stats!! I want to get them back, I like knowing! Does anyone know how to get it back? Please tell me.

Okay, anyway, on with some things about the story. It won't be to OC, I just wanted a bit of Jasper/Bella for reasons that will become obvious later on. Uhh, remember this is Bella/Edward so they will end up with each other, one day.

Okay, so I am in Lanzarote now! Hopefully. If I never update again… lets not go there. I HATE flying seriously I do. I would rather snog Tony Blair. Okay, so now a very long chapter under 2,000 words by miles, but I wanted to give you a chapter before I go, because otherwise you'll be waiting 3 weeks, and that's not really fair. Ahh well.

Expect the next update around November 5th. Ish.

Thanks:

Reviews : juliaSwan, PazzescoEBello-CrazyBeautiful, twiLight-fan1207, watupitROSALIE, oceansfire, hoodwinked.I'myoursweetestgoodbye, ema666, JJ-000-JJ, LizAnne16, Angel1224, EdwardsGirl53, PiPBiTESALOT, Zoella De Vil (X8), MilesOfSmiles13, Megan, x-aly-x, mysterygirl531, lover, DooDeeDoooo, twilighter1994, Meepisms, Luvntwilight, Sir Spamalot, mortitia3, Kiatami, xxxafc