Second half of last chapter.

"Would you like a hot beverage?"

"No thank you, Sheldon."

"As you are a guest in my home it is customary for me to offer you a hot beverage."

Amy gave her boyfriend a look. He was currently standing by his kitchen island, his collection of tea bags in front of him. "I do not want a hot beverage, Sheldon." She said, a little sterner.

"Alright!" Sheldon replied, annoyance clear in his tone. "There is no need to snap at me, I was simply following social protocol." He took out a tea bag – the same kind he always used – and stuck it in his mug, poking and prodding at it with a spoon so that the hot water would begin to change colors, going from clear to the beginnings of brown. He walked over carefully, so as not to spill his hot beverage, and sat down in his seat, next to Amy. "Shall we begin?" He asked, calmly now.

"Yes," Amy said, watching her tone. "I," She added hesitantly, unable to help herself, "Was ready to get this show on the road ten minutes ago, but somebody was too busy fixing himself some tea." Sheldon frowned at her as he pulled out the document, but for once said nothing.

When Sheldon slapped The New Relationship Agreement – as it was officially known – down on the coffee table, Amy was surprised by how thin it was. The Relationship Agreement – the original one, obviously – had been as long as a short novel, with many different articles, clauses and such. (Not surprisingly, not a single one of those pages was a freaking amendment.)

"If we are going to add coitus to this relationship," Sheldon explained, seeing her surprise. "We might as well throw out some other rules and live likes hippies." Amy ignored this comment, beginning to flip through The New Relationship Agreement. "What do you think?"

"Good so far," Amy said. She continued to read, stopping at the section that began to detail the do's and dont's of their physical relationship. "'No foreplay of any kind, shape or form'?"

Sheldon scoffed. "What do you want me to do?" He asked. "Roll around in perpetual amounts of body glitter and dance like Leonard?"

Now, Amy scoffed. "Oh, no one does foreplay like Leonard…"

"Are you insinuating he's done it for you?"

"What? No!"

Sheldon took a sip of his tea, looking at her over the rim of the mug. Amy kept reading, deciding not to keep discussing the foreplay issue.

"No pet names?" She asked a few moments later.

"Nope," Sheldon replied indignantly.

"So does that mean I can't call you Moonpie?" Amy teased.

Sheldon's eye began to twitch. "No one calls me Moonpie but Meemaw!" He practically hissed.

Amy sighed. "Fine, no foreplay, no pet names!"

"Thank you!"

She shook her head. "I should've got a lawyer…" She murmured under her breath. Sheldon shot her a look of annoyance – damn his Vulcan hearing.

Deeming the rest of the agreement reasonable and what they'd agreed on despite a few minor things – because it was Sheldon, after all – Amy placed it down on the coffee table. Sheldon handed her pen, and pointed to a line on the first page. "Sign here," Amy did so. He flipped to the next page. "Initial here." He pointed to a small line, and she scribbled "AFF" on it. Sheldon flipped to another page, and pointed to another small line. "And here," Amy wrote down another quick "AFF". "Oh no, that handwriting is far too messy." Amy wrote it again. Pleased now, Sheldon flipped to the last page, and pointed to a long line that stretched all the way across the width of the page. "And sign here." Once again, Amy did so.

"Now, it's official." Sheldon proclaimed. "We have now succumbed to the basic, sexual urges of stupid people. If this fails I have the right to blame you."

Amy frowned. "Since when?"

"It was in the agreement!" Sheldon almost laughed. "You should've read the fine print!" He took a sip of his tea.

"…How many days until our next anniversary?"

Sheldon gulped. "17." He answered. "I'd say I'm looking forward to it but that wouldn't be true."

Amy practically smirked. "Just you wait Sheldon Cooper," She said. "In 17 days, I will be giving you a night you will never forget."

This was already really long (you know, before I had to divide it in half), and I'm tired, so the promised Lenny scene will come on Thursday. I'll hopefully see you then (and I obviously say – err, write – 'see you' metaphorically).