Chapter 10

They've gone. Danger averted; I live for another day.

o0o0o0o

"YOU STUPID FUCKS!" Temari screeched into the phone, having returned home and discovered her brothers were not there. "YOU LYING SCUM OF THE EARTH!"

"TEMARI, CALM THE FUCK DOWN! YOU'RE GOING TO BURST MY EARDRUM!" Kankurou hollered back on the other end of the line.

"HOW DARE YOU CORNER SHIKAMARU LIKE THAT? YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T!"

"Technically, we didn't. We were just talking to him, and we never actually said we wouldn't do what you told us not to do," Gaara's voice drifted through.

"Gaara says-"

"Yes, I heard what he said," Temari interrupted Kankurou irritably. "How did he know what I said?"

"Well, you were yelling really loudly."

"Whatever. Anyway, that's not the fucking point, you assholes. I still can't believe that you did that. He thought you were going to kill him! And besides, what gives you the right to go and mess with my life? I can make the mistakes that I want or don't want to make and if I make those mistakes I don't want to make then it's my mistake and I have to deal the consequences of my mistake and you guys can't interfere because it's my mistake not your bloody mistake! Got that?"

"…I don't know. You said mistake a lot of times."

"SHUT UP! Who the fuck was asking you?" Temari snapped.

"…You were…"

"Don't take that tone with me, Kankurou! I'm not the one in the wrong here, you are, you worthless excuse for a lima bean!"

"…lima bean?"

"SHUT UP! Argh, I'm too angry to even insult you properly! What was I talking about?"

"…Ice cream."

"Oh, chocolate ice cream all the way. Although vanilla can be really nice sometimes. But then, of course, you get those special ice cream cafés, and then you just drown in your own drool and get really fat because you can't decide which ice cream you want because they're all so yummy so you just try them all and then go back for more because they are just too delicious- especially the cinnamon. And the coconut. Oooh, and the amarula ice cream, oh my god, that is just dreamy! But those aren't the only flavours that are to die for, they've got like the triple chocolate, and the sour cherry, and the honeycomb, and the lemon meringue, and the- THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!" Temari yelled.

Kankurou sniggered. "Took you long enough."

Temari growled. "Oh, buddy, you are so dead when you get back, I'm going to poison your dinner, you just see if I don't. You and Gaara, the little brat. I still can't believe you did that, seriously, that's why I moved away from you guys, because you ALWAYS mess up my relationships, sticking your noses in where they weren't wanted. Seriously, don't you think that it's a little late for you to be cock-blocking for me? Don't answer that it was a rhetorical question. Oh, and why do you guys only get all super-hyper-over-protective with me? Why not Secchan? She's like your sister anyway, and don't give me all that 'but not by blood' crap because that just doesn't cut it. And anyway, what the hell, you guys can't try to control my life, that's my job! I'm the older sibling, I get to boss you around, I get to mess with your relationships, I get to interrogate you, I get to control your life, not THE OTHER WAY ROUND! I was born first, just in case you've forgotten! Besides, I'm the sister, I have that whole maternal vibe going on, not you, so don't try to act like you're my parents because you're not, and that just put some really unwanted images in my head, which means I'm going to be even more pissed off with you guys later because it's because of you that that image was put into my head so I'm just going to feed you fried dog shit and hit you over the head with a frying pan, which is going to have to be the Teflon coated one so your brains don't stick to it, and then YOU'RE going to have to clean up the mess! And do you know why? BECAUSE YOU BASTARDS DESERVE IT!" Temari ranted. "And what's more-"

Secchan stopped listening to the highly amusing irate Temari when her phone vibrated.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Secchan, hi," Kankurou said on the other end.

Secchan looked at her phone (Gaara's caller ID) and at Temari, still yelling into her phone. She replaced the phone on her ear and turned away.

"Aren't you on the phone with Tem-"

"Yes, she's currently yelling at the dashboard, my ear was starting to hurt," Kankurou cut her off. "So anyway, I have to call in a favour."

"Call in a favour?" Secchan chuckled. "Sweetheart, you're already in debt."

"Can I take out a loan?" Kankurou pleaded.

"Maybe," Secchan relented. "Whaddaya need?"

"Can you calm Temari down? I don't really wanna die tonight."

"Is that why you guys aren't home? To avoid her?" Secchan asked, grinning.

"Duh. We can sense her killer intent a freaking continent away."

"What if I don't want to give you that loan?"

"Then we'll die, and you don't want that do you?" Kankurou wheedled.

"Oh I don't know…" Secchan joked.

"Bitch. But we both know you're gonna do it."

Secchan laughed. "I'll try. In case it doesn't work, buy her some chocolates and promise not to do it again."

"But that's a lie."

"Yeah, but she doesn't know that."

"She will. She has that whole freaky older sister ESP shit going on."

"Oh well. Chocolate then."

"You really think that'll work?"

"Nope. Bye."

Laughing, Secchan hung up.

"Kankurou! KANKUROU! KANKUROU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? KANKUROU!" Temari was yelling.

o0o0o0o

In the car, Kankurou eyed the phone lying on the dashboard with the tinny voice yelling his name.

"So, what'd Secchan say?" Gaara asked.

"She said she'd try. And that we should buy her chocolates," Kankurou replied.

"Who, Secchan?"

"No, Temari."

"Speaking of Temari…" Gaara glanced at the phone, which was now issuing death threats. "We don't really want to aggravate her more, do we?"

Kankurou reached over and snapped the phone shut. "I ran out of battery," he said.

The brothers sat there in silence for a minute or so.

"So, what movies are on?"

o0o0o0o

Much later that evening…

"Now. Do it now. Phone him."

o0o0o0o

Shikamaru picked up the phone for the second time that day.

"Yes?"

"Nara. Hi." It was Kankurou.

"No more meetings, or I'll call Temari and tell her you called," Shikamaru said immediately.

Kankurou laughed scornfully. "Aw, is the widdle cwybaby scawed of the big scawy me-"

"Kankurou!" a familiar feminine voice sounded in the background.

Kankurou coughed. "Yeah. There's really no need to tell Temari," he said grimly.

Shikamaru almost laughed. No fucking way…

"Apologise. Right this fucking second, Kankurou, or I will hurt you." He heard Temari demand in the background, and a disbelieving grin spread across his face.

"Yeah. Okay, well… about earlier today… um… yeah, sorry…" Kankurou mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I'm afraid I didn't hear you," Shikamaru said, unable to resist.

"Don't push it, Nara," Kankurou growled. And then yelped in pain. "What the fuck, Temari!"

"Apologise! NOW!"

"Fine. So, yeah, Nara, what I said was I'm sorry. You know, for earlier. Yeah, sorry about the threats and shit…"

"THREATS?!" Temari screeched in the background.

"It was Gaara's idea!" Kankurou defended, obviously having taken the phone away from his ear. Didn't make him less audible to Shikamaru, though.

"Gaara…" he heard Temari faintly say in a rather scary way- so that's where her brothers had learnt it from!

He heard shuffling.

"Sorry, Nara, please accept my humble apologies," Gaara's deadpan voice filtered through the receiver clearly.

More shuffling.

"Temari, we've apologised, surely that's enough," Kankurou complained in the distance.

"Ugh, fine."

Yet more shuffling.

"Hey. Sorry about those bastards. They suck at apologising, that's the best I'm gonna get outta them. I'll give you a real apology when I next see you, 'kay, babe?" her voice took on a suggestive tone, and he had a feeling she had tacked that last bit on just for her brothers.

"Oh, ew, Temari, not cool. Not cool!" And Kankurou's disgusted comments seemed to confirm that.

She laughed. "Bye."

"Bye. See you," Shikamaru replied before she hung up. He chuckled. She had actually forced her brothers- her damn scary ass homicidal mafia brothers- to call him and apologise. And they had done so.

"Fuck, I love that woman," he murmured, wearing a fond smile.

He shook his head with another chuckle.

…Wait, what did he just say?

-TBC-

A/N: It hasn't been that long, has it? Has it? I can't remember when I last updated! Did I take forever? Or… not?

Anyway…

This chapter has important plot advancing points in it.

Okay, it's a filler chapter.

But the last bit is rather plot advancing, oh yeah, I'm not completely useless. ^^

I really enjoyed writing this chapter (I always enjoy writing this story. Everyone's so insane (and/or perverted), it's just amazingly fun. SO I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please tell me what you thought (and when if I took too long to update) in a review (amazing invention those- seriously, don't you wish you could just review after chapters of books and shit? Sometimes I really, really wish I could. You know?)

Laters! (Lolzors I did not just say that XD)