As I stepped into Charms, I tried to appear dignified; a hard thing to do when one has spent the greater part of the last two months crying in bed. I sat with Parvati and Lavender, but didn't talk. I noticed that Ron was sitting with Neville, and Harry was sitting alone on the end of the front row. He kept his eyes on his books, just like me. From the way we were behaving, no one would know that anything had happened between us, and that was the way I wanted it to stay.
Nevertheless, although I was doing what I was most comfortable with (schoolwork), I couldn't concentrate for the whole class. I half wanted to look at Harry, but the other half of me pulled my eyes back to the table. It was one of the worst classes I ever remember being in at Hogwarts, and I partly considered skipping the next lesson. I decided to go when I remembered it was Arithmancy. I thought it would be okay, as neither Harry or Ron was in that class with me. Even still, it was hard to bear. At recess, I stumbled out into the snowy courtyard, and ran right into Ginny.
'Hermione?' She said in surprise, as I tumbled into her arms. She didn't say anything else, just hugged me back. Despite my terrible morning, I found refuge in a friend's hug. Ginny gave me strength, and if it had not been for her, I may not have been able to go back to class at all. I'd forgotten the pact I had made with myself – to leave my relationship with Harry in the past. I had thought it would be easy, that things would just go back to how they were before. When the bell rang, Ginny reminded me that it would be hard to move on. We both knew I would have to go to the next class, as it was Defence Against the Dark Arts, and Snape would not be happy at all if I was absent.
I walked into the class with my head held high and my insecurities locked inside my chest. Snape took one glance at me and his face twisted into a malicious grin, but before I could take a second glance it had disappeared. There was something in those eyes I didn't like, something that said he knew too much.
'Sit!' He snarled, as the class scrambled to find seats, as quietly as possible. 'Today…' he began uncertainly. 'Yes, today we will be going over our non-verbal incantations in pairs. …No, my pairs,' he added as Parvati grabbed Lavender's hand. Snape's eyes rested on me, as I caught another glimpse of that wicked sneer. He walked around the class, picking out pairs as he went.
'Patil, Bulstrode … Malfoy, Nott, that's fine … Longbottom, Thomas … Weasley, Finnegan … Brown, Crabbe …' He continued in this manner with the whole class, and finished triumphantly with, 'Potter, Granger.'
Of course! I thought. Of course Snape knew everything. He was doing this on purpose, probably to put me off, and then he'd have an excuse to fail me.
However, I wasn't put off. Harry wouldn't distract me. I knew I could use non-verbal incantations better than he could, and followed him, in a dangerous state of confidence, to the corner of the room which Snape had set for us.
Harry turned around with his wand out, ready to start practising. Our eyes met. I barely had time to register that it was the first eye contact we'd had since he broke up with me, and then I was spinning, lost in his eyes. Harry's emerald eyes sucked me in, spun me around, and then flung me out again, like a wet cloth left on the floor. He'd broken the connection, and his eyes were averted to the ceiling. He obviously wanted to look at me as much as I wanted to run and hide in a corner.
I hardly remember any detail of the rest of that class, or the day that followed. I must have managed, as I didn't get any detentions, not even from Snape. I ate my lunch alone, and sat by myself in the afternoon's class again. Professor McGonagall looked impressed to see my head in my books, but would have been less than happy if she saw what was written there (or not written). The only thing I remember about the day was feeling the electricity between Harry and I, and knowing that he felt it too. Knowing that there was nothing we could do to avoid it. Knowing that my pact was useless. We were meant to be together.
Although I knew these things more than I'd ever known anything else, I still couldn't bear it. At the end of the day, I tumbled into bed, and cried myself to sleep.
The first few weeks of term passed in nearly the same way as the first day. Harry didn't look at me, and I pretended that I didn't want to look at him. I did my work, but not very well. I lived in a bubble, but even through the bubble, I noticed something which surprised me. I had expected Harry and Ron to be best friends again, as that was one of the reasons Harry dumped me. But I hardly ever saw them together. Ron was usually with Neville or Dean, and Harry was always alone. But although I noticed, I didn't do anything. What could I do?