Disclaimer: Intro.
Author's Note: This is for Challenge 90, 'Fire'. Characters used are Klonoa and Guntz.
Thank you for the inspiration, my dear flamer, or review no. 15. This one's for you.
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"Hey, look at this, Guntz." Klonoa called to the hunter, who was reading a book. "This person sure is a retard."
"What?" Guntz came over, putting down his book. "Who's a retard?"
"It's in this fic." Klonoa pointed to the review. "The author's sure insane, but at least she doesn't insert Mary-Sues..." He shuddered. "Anything's better than those Mary-Sues, I swear it. And this girl.. or guy...'s got some issues with the author."
"A flame?" Guntz was reading through the drabbles. "Sweet, she likes crossdressing? And she's a critic of fiction that doesn't belong in their proper sections?" The hunter chuckled. "She's damned honest, and her writing's improving, I guess."
"And look what this person said to her." Klonoa pointed to the 'Reviews' button, and clicked it. The screen refreshed.
'This flame is courtesy of Kelly L. Crutcher. Be sure to thank her for being such a dumbass as to letting me flame you from her favorites list.
And now, your flame:
Good God. A fucking piece of shit from my ass could write better than this. How old are you? Five? Six?
What the fuck is wrong with you that you think you can write a story people want to read? The only people that like this crack-out piece of shit are other inbreds like you.
Please, do the rest of humanity a favor and never, ever write anything again.
Just to make sure, maybe you should jump off a cliff.
Got it?
Good.
F/R'
"... Has this girl or guy got a brain?" Guntz sweatdropped. "So how old is this author?"
"Thirteen. I saw her profile page. And she's Korean." Klonoa sighed. "What's up with this society nowadays? Has this girl done anything to this flamer?" He checked the 'flamer''s profile page. "Nothing."
"That settles it then." Guntz said calmly. "I hope this author gave this flamer some tongue-lashing." He stretched his limbs. "Now, Klonoa, shall we print this flame out and set it on fire? It'll be fun. And besides, this flamer deserves it."
Klonoa was already printing out the flame page. "Get the magnifying glass, Guntz. We'll start from the word 'dumbass' and work our way from there."
Guntz stared at Klonoa, and a smile spread over his face.
"God, Klo', you're sure sadistic." He grinned. "Nothing like slow burning, hmm?"
"Sure." The cabbit smiled also. He passed the mouse over to Guntz. "Thanks. I'll start first and you burn the word 'cliff'. I'll burn the swearwords first, they're so bad they just seem sad and pointless. Meanwhile, it's your turn to search for other flames."
"Harry Potter section, Klo'?" Guntz drawled lazily as he clicked the mouse.
"Damn straight."
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That was so fun. Flames are named that way for a reason, F/R. Thank you for providing me and others with entertainment. Now have a nice life, while we laugh and burn your flame as if it never existed. Goodbye, baby, and never set your feet in this section again. You're polluting this Klonoa section.
I love dealing with flamers.