May 13, 2010 continued

Rick Castle walked into his apartment, only to be slammed backwards by his daughter. The moment she saw him come through the door Alexis flew from her place on the couch and ran full speed into him, wrapping her arms around his middle.

"Hey there, Pumpkin." Rick carefully hugged her closer to him, concerned with her sudden urge to be held. "What's up?" He asked as gently as possible.

"Oh my gosh, Dad! Gram told me. I, I don't know what to say. I can't imagine what you're thinking right now. I'm-"

Quickly Rick decided to interrupt her little rant.

"Alexis calm down. I'm fine. Really."

Alexis Castle peered up, still with her chin buried in his chest, and looked at her father. He certainly didn't look fine. But as everyone knew, there was very little, if any, arguing with him.

"Are you sure Dad? I mean, I had plans with Paige to go to the movies, but I can cancel and stay here and hang out with you if you want."

"Lex, that is absolutely the last thing I want. Go out and have fun. You do not need to worry about me. I'm a big boy."

She sighed and broke away from his hold on her. He probably didn't realize it, but Rick had her in quite a hug. Sure, Alexis thought, he was perfectly fine.

"Alright then. I'm going to go grab my bag and head out." Moving toe-to-toe with her father, Alexis stood up on her toes, and rested one hand on his shoulder. The other, she rose to wag in his face. "But you better call me if you need me. I mean it!"

With reluctant force Rick pushed her back down to the floor, and bent in just as close as she had gotten, gripping her face with his hands.

"If I need you I will call you," he planted a kiss on her hairline, "I swear on my collection of books regarding a certain British spy." He flashed her a grin before pushing her towards the door.

"Now go! Tell Paige I said 'hello'."

Rick watched as his daughter hesitantly left the apartment. He knew she'd be worrying about him. She'd check her cell phone for messages every five minutes for the next four hours. There was nothing he could do to convince her otherwise. She was just as stubborn as him sometimes.

Sighing, Rick turned around and saw his mother was sitting on the couch as well. Hundreds of thoughts were running through his head as he walked over and took Alexis' now vacant seat next to her.

The apartment was silent for a few moments. Mother and son simply stared, trying to gauge what the other was thinking.

Rick was the first to break the stillness.

"Mother, I really want you to know that I'm not mad at you. I can't be. And," he paused, "I think I have an understanding of what you went through." Tenderly, Rick reached out to take her hand. "I honestly don't know how you managed me after that."

Once again a lull fell over the pair.

"He said he was sorry." Pinching the corner of his mouth together, he leaned his head back, and turned to look at her again.

Martha's voice was a raspy whisper when she spoke.

"What are you going to do?"

"I think…" Rick started, "I'm going to do what I always do when I don't know what to do." He stood up from the all too comfortable couch and ran a hand over the back of his head.

"I'm gonna go write."

May 26, 2010

In the solitude of his office Edward Samuels sat. All he could think of was the envelope sitting on his desk and its contents.

This time, the return address was to one Richard Castle of New York, New York, not Martha Rogers.

This time, he refrained from pouring himself a stiff drink.

This time, he wanted to be absolutely sure of what he was reading.

His fingers seemed to be on autopilot as they reached for the edge of the paper and peeled the seal open. He removed the letter, unfolded it. He was almost afraid that his touch would shatter it into a million pieces.

Leaning back into the chair, he rubbed his thumb and forefinger over his eyes, taking one final moment for mental preparation.

The nerves sent his stomach on a roller coaster ride as he began reading.

Edward,

Throughout my entire life I have waited for my father. I remember all the times I asked about him. Who he was, where he was.

When I was a little kid sitting back stage at her shows I would pretend that he was on an adventure in some far away country, fighting criminals or hunting animals. I used to think that he was a hero. Someone who wasn't around for me, because he was making the world a safer place for everyone.

As I got older, I began to put the pieces together. I knew that most other kids had fathers. And if they didn't it was usually because their parents divorced or their father died. At least those kids knew. All I knew was that I had no father, and it was because something had happened between him and my mother. Occasionally I would ask her about it. She never quite answered me one way or the other.

So, I finally put my father behind me, and went through my high school and college years with all the confidence in the world. I was smart, and I had at least one parent there for me. I made it years without thinking about my father.

But then I became a father. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. The second I found out Alexis was on her way I was stuck. My daughter is the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last thing I think about at night. I couldn't imagine not being in her life. If I couldn't walk downstairs and see her face everyday I would die.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, I don't understand how you could have left. Left me or my mother. She is the strongest woman I know. There aren't too many women out there that would be able to travel the country acting for a living while raising a son. Sure, our life was a little hectic, and we certainly didn't live a 'normal' life, but who's to say what's normal and what's not?

You were absolutely right in saying that you should have been responsible. I find it offensive that you never even wrote back to her. For years. She thought she was being ignored, and yet she continued to write to you. Always with the intention that it would make a difference in my life. You should have respected her enough in the first place, knowing your situation, to stay away from her.

But I guess that if you had, I wouldn't be sitting here, and my life would've never become so great. And that's not me being conceited. My life really is great. I have a fantastic career, an exciting position at the precinct, a perfect daughter, and an amazingly loving mother. So, in some small way, I should thank you.

Please don't reply to this. I don't want to hear what you have to say. I don't need to hear what you have to say. Just know that I'm glad to have some answers. I've told my mother that she didn't need to keep writing you. Quite honestly I don't care if she does or not, though.

This is not meant to sound rude, or angry. But the fact of the matter is, I'm over waiting for my father.

My life is just the way it's meant to be. I'm writing and working. Enjoying my time with my mother and daughter.

Best of luck in whatever you do,

Richard Castle

Edward let out a breath he didn't know he was withholding. He placed the letter back on the desk, and turned around in his chair to look out of the window. Today was one of those rare sunny days.

He heard the door to his office and the familiar click of heels on wood. His hands brushed over his face in anticipation.

"Eddie." He heard Annalisa start, but stayed facing in this direction. He couldn't bear to look at her just yet.

"Yes." The syllable couldn't be sharper.

At the sound of his voice she let her gaze drift down to the desk in front of her. She saw the open envelope, the letter.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes." He turned back around, still avoiding her face.

With limp hands he refolded the letter, stuffed it back into its envelope, and dropped it into the bottom drawer of his desk.

"Everything is…exactly the way it should be."

July 27, 2010

Rick stepped onto the porch of his home in the Hamptons and found his mother gazing out at the water, a rather large glass of wine in her hand.

He retreated back into the house for a second glass, returned. Without saying a word he poured his own helping of the drink and sat down in the lounge chair next to her. The view tonight was fantastic. There wasn't a cloud in the sky; he could see hundreds – thousands of stars without straining his eyes. The water was smoothly lapping up against the shore.

"Do you know what today is Richard?"

He could hear the sadness in her voice. The way she tripped over the words, lingering on his name. He had opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.

"No. Of course you wouldn't know."

The long sip she took from her glass allowed him enough time to actually say something. The problem was, he didn't know what to say.

"Wha-what is it?"

He mimicked her swallow when he saw she was prepared to answer him.

"Forty years ago tonight I went over to tell Edward about you. You know, those were the most agonizing hours of my life. In more ways than one." She lifted her glass in his direction before continuing. "I was so certain that he would be thrilled. That we would be happy together, maybe get married. Raise you together, be a happy family like you deserved." She paused again for another sip. "But, he had other plans, and for that Richard, I am so, so sorry."

Rick watched as his mother spoke.

"I still feel so terrible for lying to you. If I could turn back time-"

"Mother, stop it. You should be upset about it anymore. I'm not. It is what it is."

Both took the opportunity to further empty their glasses.

"The way I see it, Mother, you weren't lying to me. You were trying to protect me from something that could've really hurt me. How were you supposed to know what he would do? If he would stay silent or write back?" He saw her try and cut in, but he refused to let her. "You couldn't have known. And I get it. I really do. If it were reversed for me, I probably would've done the same thing. I mean, I wouldn't want Alexis to get her hopes up for someone who wanted nothing to do with her."

He took one final gulp and his glass was empty.

"I can't help but think it was selfish of me."

Rick swung his legs around so that he was sitting to face her.

"You were anything but selfish. You were being a good mother. Better, apparently, than you thought."

"Oh, Richard," she sighed, turning to mirror his position, "how did you ever get to be such a gentleman?"

"I honestly don't know, Mother. But I have seen plenty of examples of how not to act."

He cocked his head with a grin as she rolled her eyes. If he wasn't mistaken he heard her laugh a little too. "Yes, well, I've learned my lesson."

"You certainly did." He placed the two glasses on the deck and took her hands in his. "Chet is a really great guy, Mother." Lifting his face, he saw that she was still looking at their joined hands. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Oh, please," she stared him straight in the face, mildly offended, "what about K-"

"Hey, are you two coming inside or what?" Alexis was standing just inside the door, her head poking out to investigate where her father and grandmother had gone. "The ice cream's going to melt if you don't hurry up."

"Yea, sweetie," Rick started as he stood, "we were just coming in now.

Martha stood to lean into her son's side. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her back into the house.

As she sat down to sundaes with her family Martha thought about her life. Everything really was perfect. At least, as perfect as it could be. Richard had gotten his answers, and even though they may not have been the answers he wanted, he took the truth for what it was and made his choice. That's exactly what it was. His choice.

She had made her's forty years ago. And now, if someone were to ask her, she'd tell them that she would do the same thing. Despite the ups and downs, she had made a pretty damn good life for herself. Contrary to popular belief, she had raised a good son. A good man. And he had gone on to do great things for himself and his family.

Yes. Martha Rogers was a woman fulfilled.

The End.

There you have it! I just want to thank all of you wonderful readers and reviewers! You all have been so helpful and supportive! This is the hardest thing I've ever written - definitely the deepest and most complicated, and I couldn't have asked for it to go better! Thanks for staying with me to the end!

I've got some ideas mulling around for some other fics, but no promises as to when they'll be up. My brain needs a break. But keep your eyes open!

Thanks again for all the fabulous support! Let me know what you think of the finale!

-TappinCastlefan