Vampire Seductress
Disclaimer: Characters taken from Stephanie Meyer's Twilight© and used in this fanfiction do not belong to me.
I also don't own any of the songs, books, stories etc.....that is mentioned.
Chapter Recap......
"Hey what's up?" He asked.
"Do you want to come with me to my dance class? It's one of the few times that Edward isn't with me, and it might be fun." I heard him shut a door and then he answered.
"Sure. Just text me the directions and I'll meet you there." I smiled.
"Okay, get there by 6." I said as I moved into the kitchen.
"Cool. See you at 6 Sweets." He said as he hung up. I put the phone down and then started making my dad's dinner. I knew that sneaking around with Mark wasn't a good idea, but it was only way that I could stay friends with him. But I knew that it could be really bad if I got caught, so I had to make sure that that didn't happen.
Author's note: Sorry for such a long wait, skool and things of this type have taken me over. Okay so guys, love me or hate me...this is the chapter. Don't forget as u read this what the story is about and will always be about. Just keep reading. Oh and have some tissues ready. *tear* Thanx *TEDDYBEARGURL*
Chapter 10: As Spring Ends and Summer Begins
BPOV
It had been almost a month since me and Mark had been hanging out secretly. We had gone away from Forks whenever we decided to hang out and it had to be last minute, because we didn't want Alice seeing it.
It had started bothering me a long time ago that this was wrong, so I slowly stopped seeing Mark. We occasionally talked on the phone, but we didn't hang out anymore. It was still bothering me so much that by this point, I was ready to end my friendship with Mark completely, at least until Edward was on board with it. I loved him and even though he didn't need to worry, I was being a hypocrite and a bitch to do this to him.
I realized this all on the Saturday afternoon before finals. I had been doing very well in all my classes and I had finished all my studying. The last thing I needed to end was the sneaking around with Mark. Yes we were like best friends now, but it wasn't fair to Edward and even though I wasn't technically doing anything with Mark, I knew it was wrong. I'd called Mark over so I could tell him all of this.
As he drove up in a sleek, black SUV, I shook my head that Mark had bought another car when his Jeep was almost in perfect condition. I watched as he got out and walked up to me, as I stood in front of my door. He smiled at me, and I smiled back a little as he stood in front of me. My dad was upstairs sleeping, so I had to make this brief and quiet. I sighed as I looked at Mark.
"Mark, you know all the stuff we've been doing has been amazingly fun, but I think it's time I came clean and stopped the sneaking around. I know we don't really do anything, but I'm done lying to Edward. I think......for the summer at least, we should just......not talk to each other. Hopefully by the new school year Edward will trust you enough to let us hang out. I just feel really bad and....I don't want to feel like that anymore." I said. The entire time, I watched as Mark's face fell and then he sighed.
"I figured. You're just too good of a person, you know that?" He asked. I smiled and he reached into his pocket and handed me a small box.
"What is it?" I asked as I took the box reluctantly. He smiled a little.
"Open it and see." I opened it and inside was car keys. I picked them up and looked at him confused.
"Um, you're letting me have a pair of keys to your car?" He smiled and shook his head.
"The keys and the car it belongs to, which is sitting in your driveway, belong to you." He said. My eyes widened in shock and surprise. I shook my head with my mouth slightly open. I walked down to where the car sat and looked at it. I turned to Mark, who was right behind me.
"No. This is way too extravagant. I can't accept this....." He smiled and nodded.
"Yes you can. You said you wanted a car and I had purchased this one before I moved to Forks, but I never drove it around after I got the jeep. It was just sitting in my garage collecting dust, so it's yours." I shook my head slowly in disbelief, and then smiled. I ran up to him and hugged him tightly.
"Thank you." I said in his ear as we hugged. He held me close and then pulled away to look at me.
"Think of it as 2 years worth of birthday gifts and Christmas presents put together. You know, so you don't forget me. Anyways, I better go." He sighed as he lightly stroked my face and then stepped around me. He walked down the driveway toward the forest. I watched him go and clutched the keys in my hand tightly.
"Bye Mark." I whispered. I saw him look back before he ran into the trees. I knew he'd heard me and I looked down at the keys in my hand. I smiled and went over to the car and got in. The interior was beautiful, with the seats covered in beige coloured leather and everything was smooth and polished. It had a CD player, MP3 player and radio, with an attached DVD player with screens in the two headrests of the front seats. I gripped the steering wheel and sat in the seat, just breathing it all in.
Suddenly a sharp rapping came against my window and I jumped. I turned to see Edward standing outside looking in. I was pretty sure he could see me so I smiled at him and opened my door as he stepped back. I saw his nostrils flare as I got out and closed the door. I moved toward him, but he stepped back again, keeping a space between us. I looked at him in confusion and then I remembered that vampires could smell other vampires. I, and the car of course, must reek of Mark right now. I closed my eyes before I looked back at Edward and his expressionless face.
"Edward...." I began but he stopped me with one raised hand. I waited as he took a deep breath before he began.
EPOV
I took a deep breath and smelled the scent of Mark on her again and I had to control the anger and pain that was bubbling inside of me. I looked at her and then realized it was too quiet, we needed a better place to talk.
"Follow me." I said as I turned and walked toward the forest. I could hear her feet crunching on the ground as we went in. I walked her in deep enough that we could talk without being overheard but close enough to the road that she'd be able to find her way back. I turned to her and looked at her sad face. I knew by now I looked angry so I didn't try to give her any sympathy.
"Hmm....you look sad, have you finally gained a conscience?" I said viciously. I saw her flinch but she didn't say anything. I watched her for a moment before I began.
"Bella, you spoke so much about trust and then you go and do whatever it is you did, with Mark, behind my back. You made me feel so guilty for not being able to trust you, but it's obvious now that I can't trust you, if you do this. I didn't even need to see him hugging you to know that he was there, I can smell him all over you." I started to pace as I saw her standing there, not saying a word.
"You don't know how much it hurts me that you'd do this, after everything. How selfish are you? I mean do you not think of anyone else other then yourself? I mean, how long has it been going on?" I turned to her and saw her look away and bite her lip.
"About a month, but...." I stopped her again. A month of lying to my face. I gritted my teeth at the anger that was roaring through me, but it began to come out in my words.
"A month? God, so this entire month you lied to me about where you were and then we'd spend the night together...... How could do this? I trusted you completely, which was something that was so difficult for me to do for you. You can't understand......" I stopped then because I could feel the pain in my chest. It was starting to overwhelm me.
"Edward I ended it, and I felt bad about it too....." I looked at her with pain and anger. She stopped.
"Don't give me that bullshit Bella, you only started feeling bad about it at the end, or you would have ended it before now." I said loudly. I saw her shaking her head no.
"No I started feeling bad about it from almost the beginning and I stopped seeing him all together. All we did was talk on the phone." She said. She was biting her lip again and her eyes were wide and shining.
"Whatever Bella, everything starts from talking on the phone. And the whole point is you lied and betrayed me. I really don't know where we can go from here." I said quietly. I saw her take a deep breath before she spoke.
"Edward....." She whispered. I took another deep breath and turned away from her. I couldn't look at her as I said my next words.
"I can't take all of this Bella.....I don't want to." I heard only her beating heart as I said those words.
BPOV
I looked at Edward's back as he stood there. My heart was beating loudly in my ears and I swallowed the tears in my throat. They were burning behind my eyes and I could feel myself choking up. I swallowed and took a deep breath.
"Okay, well then I guess....maybe we should just end this now." I said quietly. He didn't turn to look at me, but I saw him straighten up a little.
"I don't want to see you ever again so I think that would probably be best." He said just as quietly as me. I held back the tears that I didn't want to shed in front of him and turned. I walked back slowly taking deep breaths, trying to will the tears in my eyes and the choking feeling in my throat away.
I could hear my feet crunching the grass as I walked. I didn't turn to see if he was still standing there, I was just frozen in a state of perpetual pain. When I got into my house, I quietly went up to my room and moved to my mirror. I could see the tears wanting to burst out , but I shut my eyes tightly and held it in. I could feel the pain sliding through me as I gripped the dresser that the mirror was on very tightly. I took a deep breath before I let out one single tear. I wiped it away quickly because I knew that I wasn't allowed to cry. I deserved this, I had dug my own grave, and all Edward had done was put up a tombstone.
I didn't deserve the luxury and release of tears, I would hold on to this, and hide it from everyone. When I left for Jacksonville next week, everyone, especially Edward would be able to breathe a little easier. I'd hurt him, and I hadn't wanted that at all, but that's life. I never get what I want, because I sabotage myself.
I moved over to my bed and lay down. I got under the covers and watched with unseeing eyes as the sun outside slowly moved across the sky and then down. I closed my eyes to the tears that threatened again and then drifted off into my darkness.
EPOV
I waited until Bella was gone before I began to walk back home. I dragged my feet like they were stones and finally let the pain that had been threatening take over. I fell to my knees as the pain pulsed through me. I stayed frozen in that spot for a long time, taking ragged breaths and letting out spontaneous sobs, before I finally was able to drag myself out of it so I could go home.
I walked home through the darkness and went up to my room slowly. It was abnormal for me to move so sluggishly at home, and I could feel and hear all of them watching and worrying about me. I didn't turn to look at anyone, and I tuned out their worried thoughts as I closed my bedroom door. I moved over to my couch and slouched down onto it.
I could hear two of my siblings moving toward my door and I could hear them arguing, outside the door, about if they should enter. I listened for a moment as they talked it over.
"Jasper, he wants to be alone. From what I saw, they were both...." I heard Alice stop as Jasper interrupted her.
"Don't you think I know how much pain he's in? It's crippling and he only just covered it up to drag himself into the house. I felt it Alice and he needs to have someone dull the pain for the moment." I heard Alice sigh in exasperation.
"Edward needs time alone first. Just give him that at least." I heard the pleading in her voice, and I knew she had won.
"Alright, but he needs us. Later we'll talk to him." I heard them move away from my door and I was glad that Alice had stopped Jasper from coming in here. I just wanted to be alone in this misery.
BPOV
Sunday passed like a blur to me. I didn't really notice what I said or did, but I put on a cheerful exterior for my dad. I think he could still see through it because sometimes I caught him staring at me with a worried expression on his face. I tried to shake it off, but I knew I wasn't a perfect actress and this was something hard to hide.
I was dreading Monday, even though we had final exams. I would still have to see Edward and of course Alice. I really didn't feel like dealing with her trying to fix this. I had made up my mind about a few things. One was that I planned to give Edward back all the stuff I had accumulated during the time we had dated at the end of the week, and two was that after that, I would keep my distance from him as long as possible.
It was going to be hard to look at all the things that he had given me and I had borrowed. I sighed, I needed to do this quickly. It would be more painful if I drew it out longer then was needed. I needed to do it fast, like ripping off a band aid, quick and painless.
Monday came faster than I thought it would and I made sure that I went to my exams and avoided everyone.
As I got into school, I tried to look away from where I could see the silver Volvo. I walked into school quickly. I had driven my motorcycle because I didn't think it would be a good idea to drive my gift from Mark. It was raining and I got soaked as I got to school, but I didn't care. The weather matched how I felt inside.
When I went to my first exam, I looked around the classroom and noticed all the scared faces. I didn't really feel stressed out about the exams, I was fighting the pain that was threatening to overwhelm me all the time, so I definitely wasn't stressed.
When we were finished, I moved from the classroom to my locker. I opened it and was caught off guard with the pictures I saw there. I had forgotten about those. I quickly snatched them off my locker door and sighed. I closed my eyes as tears threatened again. I quickly put the pictures into my bag and closed my locker door. I walked down the halls, and pulled up my hood.
I got to the outside doors leading to the parking lot and that's when I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned to look into Alice's face. I smiled at her lightly, and she smiled back.
"Hey Bella, how was your exam?" She asked. This is when the tears really started to push against my eyelids. Not having Edward in my life, would make it hard for me to be friends with Alice because she and Edward were always together. And she was like my best friend now. I took a deep breath to fight off the tears again.
"It was good, I have two tomorrow and then one on Thursday. How was your exam?" She smiled.
"Really good. I already saw that I got an A on it, so it's all good." I rolled my eyes and began to walk with Alice to my bike.
"Of course you did." I said with a small laugh. She stared at me as we walked and I looked at her.
"What?" I asked. I knew what, but I wanted her to say it before I talked about it.
"Are you okay Bella? Really okay?" She asked quietly as we reached my bike. I turned to her and saw the concern there. I shut my eyes tightly, but one tear fell before I could stop it. I wiped it away and then smiled.
"No..... but that's normal and the only thing that is gonna help me now, is time." I said. Alice nodded. We stood there in silence for a moment before she pulled me into a hug and held me. Her strong arms holding me, made something in me break. I clutched her and began to sob into her shoulder. I cried hard for a while as I held Alice to me. She held me tightly and stroked my back as the tears fell. I realized what I was doing and it took all my strength to pull away and wipe my tears.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I'm just still in a tender stage. I'm gonna miss you this summer though Alice." Alice nodded. She looked sadly at me and I took her hand and squeezed it.
"Bella I want to fix this." I shook my head at her words.
"You can't fix everything Alice. Anyway I have to go. Bye." I said and I let go of her hand.
"Bye Bella." She said as she moved away. I put on my helmet and then got onto my bike. I drove home quickly and went up to my room. I fell onto my bed face down and sighed. I had cried only a tiny amount of the tears that were rolling through me.
I let myself succumb to the coolness of my pillows for a moment, before I got up. I got out one of my large shoe boxes and went to my bed. I opened it and then picked up my bag. I took the photos that I had taken from my locker and put them into the box. I also began going through my room, picking up anything that I thought Edward had given me.
I turned on my stereo and it began to playing the lullaby that Edward had written for me. I slammed my hand onto the stop button and pulled out the CD. I put it into the box too and then began searching. I found a few of Edward's shirts and put them in the box as well. I picked up every picture I had of him, every single CD and book he ever let me borrow and threw them in there too. And then finally I got my ballet slippers. I stroked them lightly looking at how beautiful they were. I wanted to keep them, more than anything, but I knew that they would always remind me of Edward so I put them in the box as well.
As I looked at all the things I had packed up, it made me feel horrible that this was all that was left of us. Every single kiss, laugh, whisper and touch were all just memories now and all the things left, were in that box. I had only kept one picture, which was of us when we had been at Edward's. Alice had caught us off guard when we were about to kiss. I was on Edward's lap, with my arms around his neck, looking down at him and he was looking up at me with his hands on my waist. I had laughed when Alice had taken the picture and she had given copies to both Edward and me.
It was a moment that had been captured on film that was so sweet and beautiful that I couldn't get rid of that picture. I needed it so that the memories wouldn't fade. I put that picture into one of my books and put the book back on the shelf. I knew it would be a while before I could look at that picture without feeling the aching hole in my chest, but I wanted to keep it.
I closed the box and put it in on my dresser. I looked down and saw the ticket for Jacksonville and sighed. The summer away from Forks would be nice, and hopefully healing. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to make myself look cheerful before I went downstairs. I needed to keep up the facade so my dad wouldn't worry. Then I went downstairs to get my dad's dinner ready.
EPOV
Thursday morning, I lay in my room letting the sounds of Paramore float past my head. I was trying to use it to drown out my thoughts, as well as the others' thoughts. It had been a hard week and it hadn't been any better considering that Alice had accidentally let me see her encounter with Bella on Monday. Alice had been very good about what she thought about. We had been sitting in the living room and it had only crossed her mind when she had been looking through her phone and had seen Bella's number.
It had shot an arrow of pain through me to see Bella crying so horribly. Alice had quickly tried to think of something else, but I had already seen it. I then excused myself and had gone upstairs. I had drowned myself in my music, trying to push the pain away. It had helped for a while, but not for long. I sighed as I heard the others call my name.
I got up and went down stairs. When I got there I realized we had guests. It was Tanya and her family. I smiled a little as I went to greet them.
"Edward. How are you?" Tanya asked. Her eyes sparkled and her long blonde hair glistened as I moved to take her hand. She smiled at me and I could still see she had feelings for me. I smiled back at her as I let her hand go.
"I'm.....fine. What brings you here to Forks?" I asked as Eleazar and Carmen went with Esme and Carlisle, and Kate and Irina went upstairs with Alice. Tanya looked at me questioningly for a moment before she answered.
"We thought we'd like to go somewhere different for the summer. We don't travel often and we thought it'd be a nice change to come and visit our friends here in Forks." She said. I nodded as we moved out to the front door. We walked around the entire perimeter of the house and before we spoke again.
"Edward you seem troubled, may I ask what the matter is?" I furrowed my brow, not knowing what to say. She looked at me openly and kindly before I answered.
"I recently......parted ways with someone I cared about very deeply. She and I aren't together anymore, and I guess it's taking its toll on me." I said quietly. I looked into her golden brown eyes as I said this. She sighed and then reached for my hand. I felt her squeeze it and nod in understanding.
"Well, I think whoever she was, she made a mistake." Tanya said as she held my hand. I looked down at our hands entwined and felt the warmth and strength in it. Maybe Bella and I had never been meant to happen and that I could only be with someone who was a vampire like me. I looked back up at Tanya's beautiful face and kind eyes.
"Thank you." I said. I didn't let go of her hand, even when she tried to take it away. She looked a little surprised at this, but she quickly got over it and let us stay entwined that way. The entire day as I spoke with Tanya, I felt the pain in my chest lulling. It wasn't as strong when I was with her and it felt good.
Maybe Tanya could be the one to help me get over Bella. She had only been here for a short time and she was already having an effect on me. I didn't feel anything more than friendship with her right now, but maybe that could grow into something more......one day.
As the sun set on the day, I sat with Tanya in the back yard. I felt the wind ruffle my hair and I took a deep breath of it. It calmed me as I sat there. Tanya was sitting next to me and we watched the sunset. I could hear her thoughts as she fought with herself.
"C'mon, you know that Edward is just a friend, no matter how you feel about him. He is obviously nursing a broken heart, I saw the anguished look on his face when I asked him what was wrong. Just calm down. It will never happen, accept that." Tanya thought as she sat beside me. I wanted to show her that her thoughts were wrong to a certain extent. I took her hand and kissed her palm. She gasped and looked at me. I smiled against her hand as she stared at me.
"Edward, what are you doing?" She asked in a whisper. I looked at her and held onto her hand.
"You're wrong about it never happening. It can, it just needs time." She stared at me for a long time before she suddenly moved and kissed me. I hadn't expected it and her firm lips had felt good on my own. I didn't kiss her back, but she pulled away and looked embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me....." She said. I smiled and kissed her hand again.
"It's alright. Anyways I think one day we can have that, but for now, I need to heal." She nodded and just let me hold her hand again. Maybe this was it for me, I couldn't have the one I had wanted because she had hurt me so, but I could have Tanya. Yes, maybe this is what I needed all along, but hadn't known it.
BPOV
I really didn't want to go Edward's house and have to see him but I had to give him back his things somehow. I was leaving tomorrow(A/N: This is the last Saturday in June) to go to Jacksonville, so it was now or at the end of the summer. I didn't think it would be smart to wait that long, so I had to give it to him now. I was going to try and leave it on the doorstep but I knew that would be difficult with the super hearing that the Cullens all had, so I texted Alice.
Text message: Alice, I have some things that belong to Edward that I want to give him. I don't think he wants to see me so will you come and get them? I waited a moment as I stood at my front door, with the box.
Text message: It's okay Bella you can bring it here. Edward went hunting. Plus I want to see you before you leave tomorrow. I smiled at that text message and then quickly wrote back.
Text message: Alright, I'm coming up. I quickly got into the black SUV that Mark had given me and drove up to the house. I realized as I got out that I was slightly underdressed, in my short light green summer dress and white flats. It was a warm evening, and I had felt the dress was fitting to that.
As I slammed the door, Alice pranced out to me and I hugged her. We held that hug for a moment before I pulled back. She smiled at me and then looked at the box in my hands.
"Bella is this really necessary? I mean you guys could get back together....." I shook my head.
"Alice, that's not going to happen. You and I both know that." I knew she understood the meaning in my words. Alice sighed and then put her arm around my shoulder, as she began to lead me to the house. I strained against her and shook my head.
"I don't want to go in there. I know Edward's not home, but....there are memories in there I don't want to face right now." Alice stared at me for a moment and then nodded. I looked over at the house and noticed Jasper and Emmett looking out the window. I smiled and waved at them, and they waved back, then they disappeared behind the curtains.
"Bella, I'm going to miss you. Promise that you'll call and write and email and......" I laughed at Alice.
"I'll keep in touch. Anyway it's only for the summer. I'm coming back to Forks, to finish senior year. I mean I only have to be there one semester, because I gained half my senior year credits in Phoenix and over the summer last year, but I'll be back, promise." I said. Alice nodded and then smiled.
"Okay, good. Because you know it would have really sucked if you weren't around." She said. I laughed and hugged her again.
"Oh Alice." I said. Then suddenly two figures appeared near the house. Alice pulled away from me and sighed.
"Oh crap." I looked at the two figures and realized that it was Edward and a strangely beautiful blonde woman. My heart constricted as I looked at his face. I didn't meet his eyes, but I saw as he slowly walked over, his hand entwined with the blonde woman's hand. I turned to Alice and saw the apology in her face. I shook my head and smiled.
"It's okay Alice. I should have probably given it to him anyway." I whispered as he came to stand near us. Alice moved aside so I could face Edward. I smiled ever so lightly.
"Hello Edward." I said. The pain was pumping through me, but I didn't want him to see that.
"Hello Bella." He said, his voice bringing back a flood of memories. I took a deep breath. The woman beside him was looking back and forth between us and then she moved her hand toward me.
"Since Edward doesn't seem in the mood for introductions, I'll introduce myself. I'm Tanya." She said, her voice tinkling like bells. I smiled at her and shook her hand.
"I'm Bella, a friend of Alice's." I saw him blink a couple of times as I said those words. We weren't anything anymore, and I had made that obviously clear.
"Well what brings you here Bella?" Tanya asked. She seemed genuinely kind so I answered her.
"I had a few things that belonged to Edward and I thought I'd drop them off." I handed the box to Edward. He hesitated before he took it, but I saw him staring at me as he did. I turned to look into the golden brown eyes I still loved and smiled a little.
"Thank you." He said. I nodded and then turned to my car. Alice moved toward me and she took my arm. The tears were threatening again as I opened my door.
"Bella, wait." Alice said. I turned and saw Tanya and Edward going into the house. She had run her fingers across his face and touched his hair. I sighed and looked at Alice.
"It's over Alice. He's happy with someone else and I'm happy for him." I said as I got to my car.
"But you don't have to leave just because of Edward." Alice said in a pleading voice. It hurt me to know that I was hurting her too. I sighed.
" I just want to get out of here before I start crying. I hate being....vulnerable.....and having people see that. It makes me feel weak and I don't......want him to see that. I gave him back his things, that's what I came here to do, it's done. I'll call you when I'm in Jacksonville Alice. Bye." I quickly hugged her, before I got in the car.
I watched in my rear view as Alice stood there, watching me drive away. It hurt me to know that we would probably lose our friendship because of Edward. I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the road as I drove home. I clutched the steering wheel tightly and took a few ragged breaths. My chest was collapsing on itself and I felt like I couldn't take in any air. I opened my window and tried to calm down. Eventually, it began to stop and I was able to breathe normally. Going to Jacksonville was one of the best things that could have happened this summer.
EPOV
I went into the house with Tanya, and looked at the box. It was almost full and I let go of Tanya's hand so I could take it upstairs.
"I'm going to put this away, I'll be right back." She smiled and nodded at me. I quickly went upstairs and sat on my couch. I opened the box and looked at everything that was in it. It hurt me to see that she had returned them. I could see a mountain of pictures in the bottom, but I didn't think I could handle those. I closed the box and put it in my closet. I took a deep breath and thought about seeing her just now. She had had her hair down and it had been wavy. She had looked cute in her little green dress. It had hurt me to see her, but I think I could see the glimmer of pain in her eyes.
As I went downstairs and sat by Tanya, I kept on thinking about Bella before I heard Alice come in. I saw her look in my direction and I heard her thoughts.
"Well Edward, I hope that you have fun this summer, because thanks to you, I'm pretty sure Bella and aren't going to be friends after the summer is over. I saw it and it wasn't pretty." She thought. I watched as she went upstairs. I knew that seeing Bella for that brief moment had not been enough for me. I didn't know why, but I needed more.
"Tanya, I'm going to get some fresh air. I'll be back later." I said in her ear.
"Alright Edward." She said. I moved away from her and toward the front door. I went out and quickly dashed through the forest. When I was across the street from Bella's I could smell her scent drifting out from her open window. I quickly went to it and looked in. She was packing a large suitcase on her bed. I could see her throwing things into it violently. She moved over to it and clutched the sides of the suitcase. She sniffed and I could see that tears were sliding down her face.
A part of me wanted to go in there and comfort her, but I controlled myself. I wasn't allowed to do that anymore.
It seemed like she was having trouble breathing as I watched her. She wrapped her arms around her chest and closed her eyes. She took a lot of deep breaths before she was finally able to control her breathing. She opened her eyes and wiped the tears away and then started folding all the clothes in her suitcase. I took a deep breath and her scent filled my head. I felt dizzy for a moment at how strong it still was to me. I shook it out of my head and watched as she moved to her dresser mirror and looked in it. She took a deep breath and then began to speak to herself.
"No more tears Bella, you're not allowed that luxury. Tomorrow you'll be in the sun and heat, and maybe this will dull." She nodded to herself and then moved over to her suitcase again.
BPOV
As I moved away from my mirror, I felt a sudden rush of dizziness. I grabbed onto my bed as I almost fell. Then as I regained my balance a wave of nausea flew though me. I took a deep breath and covered my mouth, but just as suddenly as it started, it passed. I took a few deep breaths for a moment, wondering what that had been. I shook my head and sat down. Maybe I was getting sick, or I had eaten something bad. I didn't know which it was, all I knew was that was strange.
I got up and closed my suitcase. It was packed and so was my carry-along bag. I moved and was about to take off my dress when I had the strangest feeling I was being watched. I looked toward my window and saw nothing but darkness. I moved to it and closed it, then I closed the curtains. I sighed in relief and then began to undress. I got into my pyjamas and climbed into my bed. This would be the last time I slept in this bed for a while. I easily fell asleep and was glad for that.
The next morning as I got up and got ready, I felt refreshed and healthy and as I realized that I would be more free in Jacksonville. I smiled at that thought. My dad was waiting for me downstairs, so he could drive me to the airport. He helped me with my bags and then we drove. I had my Mp3 on and as we got closer and closer to the airport, I started to feel uneasy. I didn't know why, but I was really going to miss my dad.
As we got to the gate and he handed me all my things, I smiled at him.
"Alright, are you sure you have everything?" He asked. I smiled.
"Yes, dad. And mom's going to be waiting for me at the airport, so you don't need to worry." I said. He smiled and then moved forward for a second, but then thought better of it. I felt the uneasiness come back, and I moved forward and hugged my dad. I hugged him tightly as I felt him kiss my hair.
"I love you dad, and I'll be back soon." I said. He nodded and then let go.
"I love you too Bella." I smiled at him and then picked up the bags.
"Don't burn down the house while I'm gone." I said. He laughed and then nodded.
"Okay." He said. I moved toward my gate and gave them my ticket. I looked back at my dad and waved. He waved back as I went through the metal detector and I smiled. He turned and then walked away. I picked up my bags and boarded the plane.
When I finally got to Jacksonville, I had barely gotten out of the plane before my mom rushed me in a hug.
"Oh honey, I've missed you so much." She said as I hugged her. I smiled as my mom's arms wrapped around me. I pulled away and she took my suitcase.
"I've missed you too mom. Oh my gosh, it feels like forever since I've felt the sun." I said as we walked out to her car. My mom smiled as she loaded my suitcase into the trunk.
"Honey you're going to have an amazing summer. I know you're going to like Jacksonville." She said as I got into the front seat and she moved to drive. We drove quickly down the highway toward the city. It was loud and beautiful, just like Phoenix. When we got to my mom's house, I looked at it. It looked a lot like dad's house back in Forks and I smiled to myself. I didn't think mom knew that, so I wouldn't mention it.
I went in and mom led me upstairs to my room. It was large and had a lot of space. The walls were pretty bare, except for a dresser with a mirror, a bookshelf and picture of me when I was 12. I smiled and then turned to my mom.
"Thanks." She smiled back and then moved toward the door.
"I'll let you freshen up, because I have a whole day of fun planned for us." She said as she left. I rolled my eyes and laughed. My mother was too crazy. I went and took a quick shower before I changed into my light blue sun dress and some flip flops. My mom smiled and we went out to the car.
We went all around the town. We got our hair and nails done and went on a super shopping trip. As we walked around, I saw a tattoo parlour and I felt ready to do something crazy. I turned to my mom.
"Mom, can we do something unplanned and adventurous?" I said. She looked at me suspiciously.
"What exactly do you want to do?" She asked. I took her hand and pulled her toward the tattoo parlour. She frowned and shook her head. I sighed.
"Oh c'mon mom, I was planning to get one anyway. At least this way you can supervise and even get one yourself if you want." I said. My mom frowned even harder and then looked at the determination on my face. She sighed and rolled her eyes and I squealed. I dragged her in and the woman inside nodded at us. I moved over to the woman and smiled.
"Can you do a quote for me?" I asked. I had been thinking about this tattoo while I had been on the plane to Jacksonville. I understood now that I would never stop loving Edward. It was a part of me and even if I grew to love someone else, it would never ever be the same. I needed to have a permanent reminder of what we had so I would never forget and also to always make me remember how I screwed myself with Edward. It would be something bitter sweet for me, and I think I needed that.
"Okay, let me write it down so that you can see how it will look." The tattoo artist said. She had a name tag on that said Isis. I watched as she took out a paper and a pen. She looked at me and waited.
" 'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb'." I said. It had special meaning to me, it described how Edward and I had been. I saw her write it down in beautiful cursive handwriting and I smiled. It would look really good when it was finished. Then she looked up and I took the pen from her. I wrote a little squiggle and the letter E&B beside the quote. I handed it back to her and she nodded.
"Okay, would you like to get started?" She asked. I nodded. I saw my mom watching anxiously as she followed me to the chair. She took my hand as I sat down. I rolled my eyes, she looked more scared then me. Isis handed my mom a bunch of forms that she had to fill out before I could get my tattoo, and when my mom finally finished signing them, Isis took them. She checked over the forms and then loaded a fresh needle into the machine beside her. Isis looked at me then.
"Where do you want it?" She asked. I thought for a moment.
"Left ankle." I said. She nodded and moved down to my ankle. Isis sanitized me first, and then put on a pair of gloves. I felt my mom grip my hand tightly and I closed my eyes as Isis started. The pain was very small compared to the pain I felt everyday over losing Edward, so I didn't really notice it. Finally, I felt the piercing stop and I opened my eyes. I watched as Isis wiped the blood off and let me look. I could see the words on my skin, And so the lion fell in love with the lamb ~ E&B. It looked perfect and I smiled as Isis put on a bandage and gave me a small book about how to take care of it. I took it and said thanks as I dragged my petrified mother out of the parlour.
When I went to bed that night, I was slightly content that I would always have something to remind me of Edward that was a part of me. I wished that I could always have a part of Edward with me. That was my last thought before I drifted off to sleep that night.
The next few days were amazingly fun with my mom. The only thing that was ruining my vacation was the sudden dizzy and nausea spells. They were coming more and more often now. It was making me really scared. I thought maybe my tattoo had triggered it, but I wasn't sure.
A month after I had gone to visit my mom,(A/N: It is the very end of July, like the last week) I threw up in the morning. That is when I knew I had to go see a doctor. I made an appointment with my mom's doctor and got ready to go. Before I left the house though, I checked my emails on the open laptop in the kitchen. I had another one from Alice. I smiled as I read it.
Bella, OMG I can't believe you got a tattoo. I never saw that coming. That's wild. I better get to see it when you come back. And I'm mad at you for only telling me now. I mean you got it like at the beginning of the summer. Summer is half over now. Okay, maybe I'm not that mad, I just really miss you. Promise you'll call me soon, I want to hear your voice.
Love Alice
P.S. What does the tattoo look like?
I smiled and began to type my quick reply before I had to go. Mom was out for the day, after I had forced her, because I knew I she'd would worry about me going to the doctor's. I typed quickly.
Alice, why are you surprised? You know I love to do things that shock and surprise people all the time. I will definitely call you later today after I do a few things. Oh and what the tattoo looks like, I'll have to explain to you on the phone. And of course I miss you too. Don't worry, only three more weeks and then I'll be back in Forks.
Love Bella
I quickly logged off and went outside. I got into the rental car that my mom had gotten me so I could get around on my own when she went to work. I let the GPS system lead me to the doctor's office and I got there easily. I stepped into the office and moved over to the secretary. She smiled up at me and asked for my name. I gave it and she told me to wait for a moment. She paged Dr. Griffiths and she came down two minutes later. I stood up and shook her hand.
"Hello Ms. Swan, I'm Dr. Griffiths. Please follow me." Dr. Griffiths said. I followed her into the room. She turned to me and asked me some simple questions about my symptoms and then gave me a cup to pee in. I did that and then finally she asked to take some blood. I watched as she put the needle in my arm and took some of my blood. It all was finished very quickly and afterward, I sat in Dr. Griffiths office waiting for the results.
When Dr. Griffiths came in, she had a small smile on her face, so I was optimistic that I wasn't dying. I watched as she sat down and smiled at me.
"So Dr. Griffiths what's wrong with me?" I asked. She looked me in the eye and crossed her arms.
"You're not sick Ms. Swan, you're actually very well. You are, my dear, pregnant." She said. I looked at her in shock. I sat there for a good minute before my brain finally reacted.
"PREGNANT?!?!? No!! I mean...... I can't be." I said in shock. Dr. Griffiths just smiled.
"Actually my dear you are. You are a little over two months along. The symptoms you were having are all associated with pregnancy and the blood and urine samples that we took all have the look, after analysis, that you are pregnant." Dr. Griffiths said calmly. I sat there in pure panic, because I knew I couldn't be pregnant, it wasn't possible. I mean I had been on the pill the entire time. Even though I knew that Edward was a vampire, I had been careful.
"Doctor I can't be pregnant, I mean I've been on the pill the entire time." I said. Dr. Griffiths nodded.
"Okay, well did you take any other medication at anytime while you were sexually active? Like antibiotics? Because sometimes it will counteract the pill and cause it to be ineffective." She said. I thought back and then gasped. There had been a short period in the beginning of May when I had gotten a cold and I had taken antibiotics. I sat in the chair and thought. Could this even be possible?
I took a deep breath and then smiled a fake smile. I got up and shook Dr. Griffiths hand.
"Thank you doctor. You have a good day." I said. I moved out of her office quickly and went to my car. I turned it on and drove down to the beach. I needed to be somewhere alone. When I got to the beach, I parked and got out.
This can't be happening, I mean it's not possible.....is it? I thought about this. I remembered all the things I had learned in health class and really thought about it. How had I not noticed my missed periods? I thought that had been because of my emotional turmoil. I had missed periods during the time I had broken up with Mark too, so I had thought nothing of it. But pregnant....? I couldn't wrap my mind around it as I sat on the beach. I stayed there till the sun began to set. I knew I had to get home soon, my mom would be worried. I sighed and got into the car. I drove quickly toward the house and saw that mom was home. I didn't think it would be wise to tell her now, so I thought I'd keep it to myself.
As I got into the house, I peeked into the kitchen where mom was sitting at the table. She sniffed and wiped her eyes as I moved over to her. I suddenly got concerned as I saw that she was crying. I stood in front of her as she looked up at me.
"Mom what's wrong?" I asked. She looked at me and then stood up. She stroked my face and pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. I shook her off and put my hands on her shoulder.
"MOM!!" I yelled. She looked at me and tears started flowing again.
"Baby, there was an accident...." I saw her struggle over her words.
"Phil?" I whispered. She shook her head and sniffed again.
"No, its......your dad." My eyes widened in shock and I started to take ragged breaths.
"What happened to dad?" I asked in barely more than a whisper. My mom shook her head.
"I'm sorry honey, he didn't.....he's gone." She said. My brain was moving in slow motion again and then I started to react. I shook my head.
"N-n-no. I mean I talked to him. Only yesterday I talked to him." I stuttered. My mom moved over and hugged me. I gasped and began to feel all the tears and pain for Edward, the shock of finding out about my pregnancy, and then this, collapse on top of me. I could feel myself breathing hard and being unable to catch my breath. I started crying as the pain filled me and burst through me. I saw my mom's scared face and only heard her call my name as if from far away, as I collapsed into darkness.
A/N: *Sobs* so yeah, what you're all thinking is correct. Sadness is in the air and its not going to get better anytime soon, so be prepared. I' m sorry I did what I did, but I needed to so my plot could go where I wanted it to. LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Please don't hate me. REVIEW PLEEZ!!!