Linkin Park - Leave Out All the Rest
Okay, this one did NOT come out the way I wanted it to AT ALL. I'm sorry for the 'weirdness' of it. I was fighting with perspectives and I think it shows in a painfully obvious way throughout this ficlit. Please forgive me!
Also...if characters seem OOC, I'm sorry for that too. I was trying to work within the situation I already had set up in my mind...-_-*
Another planet. Another search. Another negative turnout. He turned to consider the formations on this planet. There was nothing here. Nothing at all and it was hideous. There was nothing here to be beautiful or even entertaining. He hated it. All of it. Of course lately he hated everything.
It had been so long ago he wasn't even sure how long it really was. He had been separated from the one bot he cared about. They were actually sent on different missions. Who's bright idea was that?
Something had gone really wrong and during what should have been a simple shipment mission there had been a fight. It had left him alone.
Whether or not the others had survived, he wasn't sure. He had been taken by the enemy but that hadn't lasted long. They underestimated him and he had easily escaped. The problem was that he wasn't sure where he was or how to get back to where he needed to be.
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause on one else cared
Sitting on the barren surface he decided this was as good a place as any to rest. He hadn't been recharging properly and it was taking its toll on him. Truthfully he didn't want anyone to see him this way, he looked horrible.
Gears clicking angrily he settled for staring at the red sky above him. This world was definitely ugly...just like he was. Maybe he should just stay. All the searching wasn't doing anything but wearing down his systems and leaving him more weary and broken then before.
His systems demanded recharge. He was so tired. A few joors of rest would be good...
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?
Pain. He knew endless, relentless pain. It centered in his spark and radiated out, wracking his whole body with the shuttering, searing ache that brought with it one and only one thing. Death.
Onlining with the desperate hope that the pain was nothing more then a dream he cried out. It was real. His spark was screaming with the pain of loss and he knew that it meant that the one bot he cared about, the only reason he kept moving on, was gone.
He screamed to the barren world all of his hurt and grief. It couldn't end this way! Not with them apart. They swore that if they were going to go out, they'd go out together!
Systems roaring with agony he left behind that barren world.
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
If he had to he would give his spark to bring back that one bot. He would give anything because without him he had no reason to go on. The war had taken everything from them except for each other...and now...
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Shut it down, block it out. He had to stop the pain long enough to get to...where was he going? The pain would not go away! Make it stop! Shut down receptors, block pathways. Yes, that was working, the pain was fading. Continue. No input from spark chamber, block all incoming information feeds. Numb. He could handle numb.
Now, where was he headed? Plotting trajectory...no cancel. It didn't matter where he was headed. He would end up on some other planet looking for something he wouldn't find. Why did it matter if he knew where he was going or not? Shut down navigations.
Transmitting status report...who was going to get that? No need for it either. Shut down transmission and beacon. Who was going to find him out here anyway?
Incoming transmission. Probably just another false feed. His weary systems sometimes mistook energy waves from nearby stars as transmissions. Block. He didn't want to be disappointed again.
This was better. Even the ache from his weary systems had numbed. Much better.
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
Incoming transmission. Block.
Another void planet. Just as he had expected. Only this time the complete hopelessness that joined with finding the nothingness time and time again wasn't there. He should have thought of shutting down his emotional core sooner. Maybe he'd just delete it all together...maybe. Battles wouldn't be as much fun if he had no emotions though. Not that that really mattered. There was no such thing as fun anymore. Not if he was gone...block emotional override.
The fluctuations that ran through his systems were an inconvenience but he could learn to work with them. Just as long as he never had to feel them anymore.
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shed but I'm me
Incoming transmission. Block.
There were only a few planets in this system. He was sure he could have most of them searched and filed away as desolate pretty quickly. Then he would move on. Categorizing. That was an efficient way to use his time. He had already spent so much time doing anyway...why had he been searching planets again? To find...block emotional override.
His systems shuttered with the surging fluctuation. Warnings flashing that there were multiple errors and core malfunctions. Delete. It wasn't important.
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
Incoming transmission. Accept. Why had he been blocking transmissions?
Optimus Prime has sent rendezvous location. Set destination. Locked.
Warning! Systems malfunction. Navigations shut down. What did it matter? Continue current course.
So if you're asking me
I want you to know
Several planets later, all categorized and filed away as barren or as uninhabited he found himself approaching yet another planet. Initial scans showed signs of life. File planet under inhabited. Prime directive; do not engage with life forms. Avoid contact. Logic states that he should simply avoid this planet all together and move on. However if he did he would have an incomplete log of this particular solar system. Hmm...
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
System warning; core malfunction. Stasis lock imminent.
Well, if that was the way it was going to be it was far more practical to be shut down on a solid surface rather then drifting through space where he might come in contact with debris or caught in a gravitational pull of some mass that could destroy him.
Heading for the small blue and green planet he received notification of a ping on his systems. There was a beacon on the planet. Interesting.
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
"State your designation and faction." The transmission was...unexpected, however it made sense that whatever life forms resided on this planet would make contact.
"I'm..." What was his designation? System warning; core malfunction. Stasis lock imminent.
"Repeat? Designation and faction."
"I'm..." Who? Who was he? Searching memory banks...warning, emotional block. Core malfunction. Receptors blocked. Pathways cannot be established. Stasis lock imminent.
"Sunny?" With that voice white hot fire tore through his systems. His emotional core overloading and instantly frying its self and several nearby processes at the same time. There were warnings concerning his spark and his vital systems, however he could not register any of the information, not only did it fly by so fast that he had hardly a moment to consider it before a new warning replaced the other but his processor was frozen.
Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
Sideswipe had felt the familiar tug of his twin in his spark. Sunstreaker was close! Not just close but coming closer.
Running from the med bay, despite Ratchet's loud protest, Sideswipe barreled down the hallway headed for the communication center. If Sunstreaker was coming they would be contacting him and he had to be there. He had to hear for himself that his twin was not only there but alright.
"Repeat? Designation and faction." Blaster was running the center this night and he didn't seem all that thrilled about it. However he was confused by the readings he was getting. There was no faction beacon, not that that meant a whole lot, Decepticons often disabled their beacons to allow stealthy entrances...or just to not get themselves blown up before they could make planetfall. But this mech was attempting at least to establish contact.
"I'm..." The voice was monotone...void, but still familiar to Sideswipe. He waited half a beat to see if his twin would respond as required. When he didn't fear crept into him. Something was wrong with his brother! He reached out over their link hoping to hear his brother's reassurance saying he was simply worn out or maybe even damaged but not badly...nothing. No response at all.
"Sunny?" He called out fearfully, his own spark twisting in pain. Primus! It hurt so bad! Worse then onlining after apparently having been deactivated for a few hours...what was wrong with his brother? Then fiery, white hot pain stabbed through his spark and swept through his systems.
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
There was no arguing. Sideswipe left the base and the rendezvous team in his dust. His twin was suffering and he had to get to him fast, it didn't matter if his own systems were in dire chaos right now. All that mattered was that something was wrong with Sunstreaker and he had to get to him now.
Arriving at the landing beacon he found his twin, laying prone and unmoving. "Sunny?" He spoke even as he sought his brother's spark through their connection.
"S-Side-s..." There was the distinct sound of systems hitting their max and then popping sounds as they failed.
"Sunny!"
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest
Ratchet hated his programming. Hated it right down to it's very core right at that moment.
The two mechs were brought to him, one in stasis lock, the other off the wall with confusion and fear. He had had to send Sideswipe to another room so he could work...but that had proven a rather large error on his part.
Sunstreaker's spark was in turmoil and every time his systems tried to reboot they would overload with the stress of his spark and fail again. Each time the bot failed to online pain wracked screams would come from the other twin.
Sideswipe was now far too distressed to try and bring him closer to his twin which was the only thing that Ratchet could think of to do to ease the other's spark...so now what? If he brought Sideswipe near Sunstreaker after so much trauma to his own spark then he very possibly could fall into stasis himself but if he did not then Sunstreaker's spark would continue to overload his systems... "There is no other option."
"Ratchet?" Sideswipe looked at the medic hopefully, though it was clear to him that things were not 'okay'.
"I'm going to have to put you into stasis."
Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are.
So here's the deal with stasis lock, at least in this series of fics: It's essentially a coma. A very bad coma that one may or may not be revived from. B.A.D. That's all it comes down to.
And for anyone reading all these and thinking that I'm a very dark and emo author...your so very right. I am. I hurt my characters a lot and don't always give them the comfort and peace they deserve. Why? Because that is life. Life gives you trials to strive through and you either succeed or fail and you don't always get the pretty bouquet of roses when you finish. I really and truly hope that this doesn't bother those of you who have been reading and enjoying this fic because I don't mean to be rude at all. (and no, nobody said anything to offend me or make me feel that this explanation was entirely necessary.) I simply thought that I would warn you all because this fic...doesn't promise to end in cheery sunshine with rose petals falling from the sky...okay?
Thank you all for reading and I hope I didn't just turn you away. -_-* So sorry!