AV

Queen's

Piper Chapman

Lichfield Prison

Piper I have a plan

I'm not safe here. I can't stay here. I see dusky looking guys outside my window every day and night. I see a van across the street parked constantly outside my door. I see big buys carrying concealed weapons out the back window. I see packages that could contain guns or worse.

I have been through hell and back with Kubra's cartel. I've seen murders right in front of my very own eyes. I've seen a guy shot down over one missed shipment. What I've done is far far worse.

They're waiting for me. Waiting for me to come out and the moment I unlock my deadbolt they will have me murdered. There is no justice Piper. No justice you know it. They will leave no trace, no evidence no nothing behind to tip off that they had me tortured till I'm bloodied and blue.

They know how to get rid of a body. There will be no funeral.

I have to disappear Piper.

I have to disappear.

Leave.

Disappear into thin air where no one will find me and no one can peg me.

I have a plan, I know what I have to do.

Next week I will contact Nora. Who is Nora you ask?

Nora is the girl I spoke about in my last letter.

We're over, I promise. I promise my heart is only with you.

But I need her help. She still has connections underground. She can get me a plane ticket, a way out. She will arrange my transportation to the airport. There I will board a flight direct to Greece.

I have money there, I have enough stored in an international account stored under a pseudonym. I have all the fake documents and passports and everything. This has all been planned years, months in advance long before I ever met you. Anyone as high up in the inner circles as I was has these safeguards.

We all kept our information seperate, so they couldn't trace our backup accounts all at once. I have about ten million in reserve there, definitely enough to start a new life.

Don't be mad I never told you. You never cared for drug money. I know you never wanted anything to do with it. You wanted to work for yourself even when I said I'd handle it. You still insisted on being a waitress back when we were living together for the longest time.

You're just like my mother that way Piper.

Just like my mom, she would never want anything more or less. She was always so honest about her work. It was her pride and joy to head into rusty diners and fast food chains wherever she could get a minimum wage job she would and work overtime and four jobs at once.

Just like you she was determined to prove she could live on her own and make it alone without anyone's pity.

Did you know that was the first thing that I was attracted to when I first saw you? I mean other than your killer looks and cute smile. And your eyes. But just the way you strived so hard to find that job (even though I stand by your needing to have a lesson in fudging a resume). But that you were standing there so confidently wanting to be considered. Took guts.

Just like my mom did when we were kids. Going up asking for jobs (not fudging a resume). And sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Luckily for you you got a waitressing job. And you were damn good at it. I may have done to that diner a few times and just watched you serve. Only once. Maybe twice.

But anyways about the plan, I will get my money from Greece, but then I have to take off and leave again. Make new documents, fudge new passports, resumes, driver's licences (I'm better at fudging than you).

I will have to go far far away, traveling every few days never settling in. They will trace that account when I drain it so there's no way for me to last in Greece.

Maybe I'll head to asia, easier to disappear in the crowds.

I'll sneak onto a freight train in the dead of night, and wait till it takes off to its next destination. It could be hours. Grueling hours all alone in the dark.

I'll bring books. Poetry. Literature. I love reading as you know.

And I won't be able to read in the dark but I will be able to feel some of the words of the works I have memorized.

Memorized some poems that I find gorgeous.

But not as gorgeous as you Piper, I have you memorized in my memory too.

I might end up in Cambodia, with three strangers and drag.

But it won't be the same without you I know.

And I'll always think of you wherever I am.

Whoever I'm with,

I'll always want you.

I hope you accept my decision Piper. You were always the one to play it safe, and now I am forced to.

I hope you finally understand the stakes at hand.

This is black and white Piper.

This is life or death.

I'm in danger of dying Piper.

I can't stay.

I'm going to come and see you Pipes, one last time.

Please get me on your visitation list, we need to talk about this in person.

It will be dangerous, the most dangerous journey. They know I have you, I don't want you to get hurt. They know where Litchfield is. They know how to track me.

I'll be careful, but no promises this time.

See you soon,

Alex

AN: Yes I did it. I brought that Nora character in from letter number 9. I do love Alex, and I do think she's faithful to Piper. But she's also human. Piper is human. Alex is human. They're fighters and they do what they need to to survive. I always felt there had to be more than what was let on about Piper's decision to call Alex's parole officer and this is the one I have created: Nora. Yes I understand this may or may not be OOC (let's see what S4 brings). This is a work of my imagination and it's cool if you disagree with my little twist.

I'm replying to a few reviews here, just for fun. I will say that I am going to explain some of my rationales for the way this was written, so if you'd rather be surprised or have your interpretation feel free to skip. Engaging with reviews and messages and comments - ESPECIALLY constructive criticism is my FAVOURITE part of writing on this site. Please don't shy away from critiquing, I love trying to improve my writing and I'm always up for suggestions.

Also, a few reviews were a bit confused at how vastly Alex's emotional state varies in these letters. How some all are sincere but some are angry, happy, all of it. These two have spent so much of their lives with each other, they have hurt each other so much and brought out every single good and bad in the both of them. They have history beyond history. And yes it seems like a bad move to be angry when writing letters when trying to make your lover forgive you and call you. I imagine these as a sort of stream of consciousness where Alex examines what her thoughts are in the present day and relays them to Piper as if she was with her. She feels no need to hide around Piper.

Some reviewers also wondered about Alex's stability given the variance in these letters. I take that as a compliment for two reasons: 1) Questioning Alex's sanity is actually super valid at this point. I felt personally that her character varied widely from S2 to S3 - she was super confident in S2 and in S3 she becomes paranoid, vulnerable and emotional. So I thought these letters could bridge that gap and hint and foreshadow at where Alex will be when she comes back to the Litch.

2) Alex is such a dynamic character with so many sides its amazing as a writer to explore all of these. This also means I get to take a few creative liberties: Such as including details such as in Ch. 9 about Alex skipping town that in "reality" she could never write because the CO's read all the mail and her plan would be foiled. Also writing such different letters would not have happened either - Piper didn't read them in Canon and Alex knows this. She likely sent similar letters to Piper every time - more like the one in Ch. 1 of this fanfiction. Of course I had to diverge from Canon here because it would be of no interest to anyone to read the same chapter over and over. In order to move the "narrative" along there's got to be some different stuff :)

Writing Canon has been a challenge for me - extensive research, trying to keep in character and make sure I'm up to date on all the references. Its also hard because there's so much pain and hurt. This is not a fluff fest for me, nor the readers. If you're looking for that I suggest checking out "Half Moon" my other work that's more up that alley.

- With love

Bobbiejelly