Well, this story has been my hardest story ever, I'm not used to writing stuff like this, but I do try.. I'm no longer doing this story with help from the person who asked me to write this, so this chapter was all my idea. It's not that good, cause I'm a tad off course with this. But it is something, I wanted to give you guys, and update since it's be over a month and a half.. Next chapter, will probably be the one, that most of you are waiting for. You will get your answers, to what happened the night Nathan got a arrested.
So please read and review, let me know what you think.. Thanks
Happy Reading
Cindy :)
One Step At A Time
Chapter 10..
This is still told in Peyton's POV...
When I came to, I was in bed, alone. Sunlight filled the room, brightening it. I yawned, kicking off the covers. Blearily, I glanced at the alarm clock. It was noon. And I thought, damn it. I never wake up this late! I sat upright on my bed, then doubled over in pain, as needles of pain shot through my private area. With sudden alarm, the events of last night came rushing back to me. The image of Alan, hovering over me, popped into my head. His face coming towards mine, his eyes full of lust.. Was all I could remember.
I sat there in my bed, repeating over and over, "Oh god." I begged God, that it was a horrible nightmare, It couldn't have happened. Please... this was all a dream. Even, as I swept the covers to the floor to reveal my lower region, the fierce burning in my private area told me something bad had happened. I was naked...
My eyes then focused on some small brown spots on the bed sheet. Blood stains, I realized, as a coldness settled over me. My eyes told me what my body already suspected, but my mind had refused to believe. I was no longer a virgin. I got out of bed, slowly, grabbing a change of clothing,and walked unsteadily into to the bathroom.
After throwing up repeating, I took shower, trying to get his touch off me... After what seemed like a three hour shower, I got out... When I walked into the room, Alan was sitting, on the chair, in the room.. With a big smile..." Morning..."
I didn't reply I didn't even look at him, I just stood there with my arms over myself... " Awe, does someone have a hangover " I still didn't answer him...He stood up walking over to me... " You feel okay.." I glared at him.." I think we should get you home.." he was acting like last night didn't happen, Like he actually cared about me... " I got everything ready to go... I'll be in the car.."
"No...I got my car.. I'll drive home..." I told him..not wanting to be near him..
" Oh, no honey, I let Bob take you car, Nathan needed to get home this morning..I told them you were exhausted, so I suggested they leave early..And we will be home later.."
I couldn't believe this... I wanted to be mad at Nathan, you know, just leaving like that, But then again,Nathan like this man and trusted him, so he never thought about anything really going on..
I sat in the back of the car, he had the radio on just a sing along, like it was a ordinary day. He kept, glancing back at me, giving me little winks, and smirks.. I was so happy when we pulled into my driveway, I raced up the stairs, telling myself, that I was going to tell Nathan, I was going to tell him everything, If Alan denied it, I was going to go to the doctor to prove I wasn't a virgin anymore, I knew Nathan would believe me, cause I wasn't the dating type, I didn't go out much, so he knew I was still a virgin.. Plus, he knows I'm not the lying type either.
But as I walked into his room, he wasn't there, I noticed his bag and his signed basketball was gone to.. " Looking for someone?" Alan said, as he entered Nathan's room..
I turn to leave, but he grabbed my arm, " I was looking for my brother.." I told him, not looking at his face...
" Why?"
" I need to talk to him..." I said, in a low tone. Alan just kept staring at me, And I don't know where this courage came from, for me to say.. " I'm telling Nathan, what you did to me, and your going to jail for a very long time.."
He left out a laugh, and said.. " Like he would believe you, I told you no one in this town would believe you o..
" I don't" I said, interrupting him. " give a damn what people in this town says, or if they believe me, as long as my brother does, that's all that matters to me."
" You really think Nathan's going to believe you?"
" Yes"
" Then tell him, oh that's right he's gone for the next eight weeks..." I was shocked by that... " he went to basketball camp, he left this morning..." My mouth went dry, as he backed me up against the wall.. " Lucky for us huh? We get the whole house to ourselves.. "
" You raped..me" I screamed at him.
" No I didn't"
" Yes you did"
" No, I didn't, " he said, as he caressed my cheek, " You were begging me to fuck you,, " I turned my face sideways, trying not to hear what he was saying, cause I know it was a lie.. he pressed his body against mine, " You were so tight, so good, best night of my life, " he started kissing my neck.. " And Peyton, babe, it will happen again, " his hand went up, my shirt, " And again, and again, we have all summer together..."
I shook my head.." No... I'm going... to the police..." He pulled back a little, I thought he was going to let me go, but I was wrong.. He took my head in his hands, and slammed it against the wall.. It hurt like hell, I was a little surprise the hit didn't knock me out.
" Go ahead, I'll tell them, you were in an accident and you can't remember anything, and your going around making up stories.." He then, pushed me over to Nathan's bed, and threw me down on it.. Laying on top of me, I felt him unbutton my jeans then pull my zipper down.
"Please , " I cried, hopping he would feel guilt or something. But my cry's only turned him on more, it seemed.. I closed my eyes tightly, praying that this was all just a dream..
"I know baby,you want me, as much as you did last night." He said, as he pulled my jeans down. Leaving me in just my shirt and panties. ' Damn, you are so fucking sexy..." he whispered, against my neck, as he started kissing it.
I didn't open my eyes, I just lay there crying, As I felt his hand slip into my panties. "I want you Peyton," He said, in a husky voice that turned my stomach. " You know, if by some crazy, chance you do get brave enough to go to the police.. Just think about your mom and Nathan..
" What do you mean?" I asked, him, finally looking into his cold lifeless brown eyes.
" Accident happens all the time at that crazy place your moms in, she could take an overdose, fall down the stairs, drown, accidentally cut her wrist. " I swallowed hard, as he spoke.. " And Nathan, well.. I would hate to see his career cut, before he even gets a change to play... Wouldn't you hate that.."
I nodded, " Good, we are on the same page, here is how everythign is going to go for now on, " He said, as he took my panties off " You and I are going to spend the next eight weeks together in this house. Kind of like playing house, I'll be the daddy and you can be the mommy." He stood up, I just laid there, afadid to move, plus my head was killing me. " When I get horny, you will willy give yourself to me.." he took his jeans off, then his shirt..
" No..." I told him shaking my head...
He laughed, as he took his boxers off, He roughly pushed two fingers inside of me, making me scream out in pain.. " See, I can make this very painfully for you, or." he said, as he pulled his fingers out of me. And started to rub my mound softy Calming me down a little, " I could be gently with you, it's your choice.. you give me what I want, when I want it, and I'll make sure your mom, is taken care of, and that Nathan doesn't get his knee cap busted."
I closed my eyes, as he buried his face between my legs, It was then, that I realized I was stuck, there was nothing I could do, I didn't want to lose my mom, more than I already had, and I didn't want to be the reason Nathan, never reaches his dreams. So I laid there, and left the son of a bitch have his way with me...
It went on all summer, for the whole eight weeks,Nathan was away,
Back to the present:
Lucas's was a loss for words, as she grew quite, waiting for him to say something, anything, his silent was killing her.. " I'm sorry.." were the words that left his mouth moments later.
" I don't want you to be sorry Lucas, I don't need that... I hate that word sorry... " tears streaming down her face. " I didn't tell you this, for you to feel sorry for me,"
Lucas tilted her chin up so he could look her in the eyes, but she had her eyes close.." Peyton, open your eyes please..." she slowly opened them, he could see the hurt, pain, regret, sadness,hate, all reflected in her eyes.. Also a bit of nervousness, like she was more afraid of what he was going to think of her, or what he was going to say... " I love you..." he says, surprising her, she didn't want to hear him say how sorry, he was, and he honestly didn't really know what else to say..So he told her, what his heart told him him to tell her.
She smiled up at him, litteraly shocked that he would say those words to her, after what she just told him.
He hated what the bastard did to her, he wanted to asks more questions, but decided that she already told him enough for one night, he didn't want to pressure her, he wanted her to tell him in her own way, bits and pieces where fine with him, as long as she let him in.
She looked down, " For a long time, I believed it was, like my fault, Like, I did something that made him, do what he did to me.. Like I dressed to slutty, I flirted too much, I was to caring, to open, to trusting.. To native.." she said, as she drew imaginary circles on his chest.
He rubbed her back, smoothly, trying to comfort her." No, it wasn't your fault, Peyton you didn't do anything, sweetheart, he was in the wrong, what he did to you was wrong, not just because your age, which that's a big factor, but because it's never okay to do what he did, I don't care how old you are, what you wear, what you say, or do, Rape is never okay.."
" I lost a part of me that night, a part that even ten years later, I'm still looking for.." she told him, as snuggled closer to him. He kissed the top of her head, resting his chin on her head, as he thought about everything.. " I should get going," she whispered, as she noticed the clock on his stand.
" Stay the night." he said, as she pulled back looking at him. " It's late, so just stay here.. You can have my bed and I'll take the couch.." he wanted her to feel safe around him. To know that he would never hurt her, physically, mentally, or emotionally..
She thought a moment, " I can't kick you out your bed Lucas, " he was about to protest when she silent him with her finger.." I want to sleep with you.."
His eyes widen with surprise, he wasn't expecting anything from her, " Peyton..." he begin, thinking she totally missed understood what he was suggesting.
" Lucas," she said interrupting his thoughts..She stood up, " I want to sleep with you. I don't mean have sex, I mean sleep, together, in your bed under your blankets. With my head on your chest, and your arms around me. No talking, just sleep...What do you say to that?" she said, as she extended her hand out to him.
He reached out for her hand, and slowly stood up.." I would love that.." he said, as his hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer to him, looking her in the eyes, one hand moved up to her face cupping it gently, then he slowly kissed her.. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as he deepen the kiss. " I love you.." he whispered, as they pulled back.
She smiled, at him, but didn't respond, he knew this was all new to her, and that it's going to take her awhile to come around, but he didn't care, he loved her, regardless to her past, he wanted her, he needs her in his life, she has made his life better. " You can go get ready for bed, and I'll straighten up and lock up, then I'll be in.."
" Okay.." she said, as she pecked his lips one more time. Before walking down his hallway.. She slowly, walked into his room, a room that she had been in only a few times. Her heart was beating fast, her body was a nervous wreck. She slowly, pulled the covers back, and stood there looking at the bed.. " You can do this Peyton, you can, he's a good guy.." she told herself, as she walked over to his closest..
Lucas entered his room a few minutes later, to find her in his bed, already covered up.. " Comfortable?" he asked, as he walked over to the bed.
" Not yet.." she said, as she pulled the blanket back for him to get in.
It was then that he noticed she was wearing his shirt, " My shirt?" he asked in amused tone.
" Hope it's okay... I don't like sleeping in my clothes, I prefer loose shirts"
" It's fine, it looks better on you.."
He got ready to climb in the bed, " Aren't you going to change or take your clothes off." she said, knowing that Nathan slept in his boxers, she figured most guys did to.
" I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.."
She sat up, " Lucas, I want a normal life, I don't want to be treated like some outcasts, I want you to get in this bed, like you would, if I wasn't here.. " she paused.. " I sleep in Nathan's old shirt, and my boy shorts. " she pulled the blanket away from her body, letting him see her,
Lucas had to look away, he couldn't believe she was just wearing a shirt, " Okay, but if anytime in the middle of the night you get...
" Lucas, stop " she begged.. Just wanting to get to sleep already.
He pulled his shirt off, as Peyton laid back down and watched him, he then, took his jeans off, Peyton swallowed hard, as she saw him for the first time, in just his black boxers. He climbed in the bed, and she moved closer to him. He kissed her one more time, before they whispered, goodnight to each other..
She laid her head on his chest, as he wrapped his arms around her, " Peyton.." he whispered..
" Yeah.."
" You know what you said about finding that piece of you, that he took away.."She looked up at him, but didn't speak, she was curious to what he was going to say. " Let me be the one to help you find it." he told her, as brushed her hair out her eyes,
" I would love that." she told him honestly, She gave him another short peck, before laying her head back down on his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her again. She smiled, she could get use to this every night. She bit her lip, as she thought about something, she didn't tell him about her nightmares, what if she has a one, what if it's one of her bad ones, she knew there was a big chance, since she just spend the whole night talking about her past.. What would Lucas say or do, it she starts screaming, and hitting him, in the middle of the night, she didn't warn him.
She felt him kiss the top of her head, He whispered, " I love you" again, Making her calm down a little, she closed her eyes, as Lucas stroked her hair in a loving way. Maybe, just maybe, there won't be no nightmares, was the last thought in her head, before she drifted off to a peaceful sleep...
Lucas smiled, as he noticed she was asleep, yesterdays events, now made sense to him, no wondered she freaked out when he said those words to her.. His mind was still going, with tons of questions, he wanted to know everything, he hated not knowing, but he was happy that she left him in a bit, and that she was here with him in his arms. He wasn't sure how, but somehow, someway, he was going to help her get back that piece she's been missing.. He was going to teach her, that life can be beautiful, and help her put the past in the past. No matter how long it takes, cause he's pretty positive, that he was holding his future wife in his arms, but to get her on the same page he was, is going to take some time, and he was going to wait for her. Cause that's what you do when you love someone, you just don't jump ship, when you hit a rough patch, you stay on top in fight the high sea's together, And that's what he's going to do.. He loves this girl, and he believes that she to, loves him, but just doesn't know it yet, or she is scared to say it. Which makes sense, love to her is all new, its' a game she's never played before.
He reached over turning the lamp off beside his bed, he kisses the top of her head, once more. Before closing his eyes, he feels her snuggle closer to him, and her leg moved up and cross over his, she's hugging him, like he was a big old teddy bear, and she a child looking for comfort. He usually didn't like snuggling , but he could foreshore get use to this every night,...was his last thought, before he drifted off to a peaceful sleep to.