Chapter 10

Nobody Wants to Fight Me Like You Do

It's funny. Usually when you see an ambulance, or any other emergency vehicle going by on it's way somewhere, you barely even notice it, except maybe to note how annoying the siren is. You don't really think about how that firetruck could be on it's way to someone's home, or that police car might be going somewhere a little more dangerous than the local Dunkin' Donuts, and rarely would anyone cut off by an ambulance really stop and consider that there could be someone's relative riding in the back. And even if they have, until it's happened to you, you really have no idea.

When I saw Hiro on the steps, I tried to stay calm. I tried to stay focused. Freaking out, bursting into tears would not help her. Even after the paramedics came, I did my best to keep it together. She, Aunt Kishomi, and Uncle Leo needed support, not someone else to comfort. But once the ambulance pulled away, I just couldn't anymore. The red and blue lights fading into the distance blurred as they swam through my tears. I should be there with them, and I couldn't be. I suddenly was overwhelmed by a bottomless feeling of uselessness and helplessness I hadn't known since my parents died. The deeper I fell into it, the worse it got. How did I ever manage to crawl out 10 years ago?

"Bea?" I heard Ben call from behind me, and it hit me just how pathetic I must seem in this moment, crying in a goddamn parking lot even though Hiro will probably be fine, my stockings most likely filthy or torn from being on my knees with her, my hair and makeup undoubtedly a mess. I heard his footsteps behind me, and wished he were walking away, but I knew he wasn't. His hand slid over my shoulder and I shivered because he was warm, and I'd been standing outside in a thin, knee length dress.

"They couldn't take you? Do you want me to drive you over to the hospital?" My back was still to him, and I shook with tears as I nodded.

"Have you been crying all this time?" I sniffled and tried to wipe my eyes.

"Yes. Yes I have. And if you don't mind, I'm not quite done."

"I wish you wouldn't. I hate seeing you cry."

"Well...shouldn't matter to you. It's not your fault this time." Shit. This time. Well, whether he noticed or not, he didn't say anything about it. His hand still gripped my shoulder, and he turned me around to face him.

"Look, I don't know what's gotten into Claude, but I know Hiro would never do anything like that." I appreciated Ben's sentiment, but still scoffed.

"Tell that to him."

"Do you want me to?"

"Someone should, but we both know he'd never listen." Thinking of Hiro and understanding how hurt she must be by all the awful shit Claude pulled I broke down again. I could relate all too well to having a guy you fell head over heels for completely stomp on your heart. The true irony of it all was, the guy who did that to me was standing here right now, wrapping his arm around me while I cried into his shoulder. I calmed down pretty quickly, or at least, as quickly as I could, but even after I stopped crying neither of us seemed to want to let go. I don't know how long we stayed like that but after hours, or a moment, Ben whispered conspiratorially into my ear,

"Hey, you wanna know something crazy?" Knowing his methods for dealing with difficult situations, I fully expected him to come up with something totally ridiculous to make me laugh. Clearly in a situation where I could use one, I bit.

"Always."

"I don't think there's anything in the world I love as much as you." and with a quiet chuckle, "Isn't that strange?"

His words froze in a mist between us. I gasped, and looked up at him for a moment unable to think, unable to speak, unable to breathe. This didn't seem real. I tried to respond in a similarly lighthearted tone,

"Strangest thing I've ever heard." I chuckled, then fear shook my voice, "Unless..I said...that there was nothing I loved as much as you..." Holy crap, what was I thinking? This is the guy who completely shattered my heart! I backpedaled, fast."But, this is all hypothetical! - doesn't mean anything. But- Oh, I'm so worked up about Hiro I don't even know what I'm saying."

"Bea!" Ben said, grabbing my hands, trying to get me to stand still and look him in the eye. I refused, well aware that all resistance would drown in them the moment I did. "Calm down. You love me?"

"I never said so." I stated stubbornly, shivering in the silence, still staring at my feet. I hardly sounded convincing, even to myself. But, could I really trust him after...everything?

"You may as well have said it. I did, and I meant it." Despite all my efforts, now I looked him straight in the eye, and said, shock in my voice,

"You meant it? I-I-"

"Of course." I searched his face for the truth, and it was written on every feature. His whole face was lit up and those eyes were brighter than I'd ever seen them. I couldn't hold out any longer.

Well, maybe just a little. I gave him a light, playful shove.

"Well, why'd you cut me off just now, then?" I teased. "I was about to say I meant it, too."

He laughed.

"Well, say it then!"

"I love you, Ben." He pulled me to him and kissed me, and suddenly there was no more worry, no more second guessing. I threw my arms around his neck as his one hand rested on my back, and the other tangled itself in my hair. I don't know how long we were there, but we had a lot of time to make up for. We completely lost ourselves, as if nothing was enough. It was almost like we were back in high school. Except this was better, more real somehow. I'd never been happier.

Then my cell phone rang. One last kiss and I answered the phone, panting slightly, glowing with warmth despite the snowy December air, Ben's arm still wrapped around me.

"Hello?"

"Bea, it's Aunt Kishomi." and just like that, much of my giddy happiness was deflated like a punctured balloon, but only until she told me not half a second later, "Hiro woke up!"

"Oh, thank God!" I said ecstatically. "Will she be alright?"

"She seems to be doing well. They think she may have twisted her ankle when she fell, but nothings broken or even fractured, thank God! The worst she's probably got is a concussion but, the doctors want to do some more tests, and she's gonna be staying overnight."

"Of course."

"But, if things goes well, she'll be home sometime tomorrow afternoon or night. Assuming, of course, that this snow lets up."

"Fantastic!" I said, warm relief flooding through me. "I can meet you over there in a few minutes."

"Well, um, it would probably be better if you just went back to the house, sweetie. I don't want you out in this weather more than you have to. Besides, they're only just really getting started with running Hiro around for tests and all and you probably wouldn't be able to see much of her for quite a while. It's already after 9."

As you might guess, none of what Aunt Kishomi had to say convinced me. I had every intention of getting over there and seeing how Hiro was for myself. Yes, her parents were there with her, but I needed to be there for her too.

"What's up? News about Hiro?" Ben asked.

"Yeah." I said flatly. "She's awake."

"She is? That's fantastic! How is she feeling?"

"Would you mind driving me over to the Hospital? I'd go myself, but I came with the rest of the family in Uncle Leo's car."

"Oh, sure. Totally."

"Thanks, Ben." I turned, looking for his car, and he grinned.

"We should probably get our coats first." Shivering thoroughly now, I had to agree.

Unfortunately, to get back into the gym we had to walk up the steps where Hiro fell. Traces of her blood were still fresh in the snow, and the broken heel of her shoe, though now partially buried, haunted the stoop like a ghost. While the relief that she was out of immediate danger was wonderful, this vivid reminder of Hiro's situation renewed all my anger against Claude. It was unfathomable, incomprehensible to me how someone who had seemed so nice, genuinely seemed to care about the cousin who was like a sister to me could turn around and treat her like that. Everything that had happened ran through my mind again, and the thought of Hiro so hurt, physically and emotionally set me fuming. After hurrying through the gym to get my things, I marched back out the door and through the snowy parking lot with my hands balled in fists in my coat pockets. I heard the sound of rapid crunching behind me, turned, and saw Ben hurrying to keep up with my agitated pace. He caught one look at my expression and raised an eyebrow.

"Bea?"

"What." I asked sharply, but immediately catching myself and knowing it would be unfair to take my anger out on him, I changed my tone and teased,"Wondering what you did wrong now?" He shrugged and said sheepishly,

"Did I do something wrong?" Pissed as I was, I had to laugh. I smiled at him and said with a shake of the head,

"Of course not." and kissed him on the cheek. "Do me a favor though?" I asked. He gave me one of those 'what are you up to' looks, but simply said,

"Name it." I felt my happy expression harden into something far more serious.

"Kill Claude." He did a double take.

"Say what?"

"You heard me."

"Oh, c'mon now. Look, what he did was totally not cool, but -"

"But? BUT!" I shouted. "To publicly HUMILIATE her in front of her friends and family? That's a little more than 'not cool', Ben. A whole lot more! How the hell can you defend him?"

"No, it's not, you're right."

"To act like he cared about her and then say those things. How could he even THINK that shit?" I asked, my breath puffing out in what looked like clouds of smoke. Appropriate, as I felt angry enough to breathe fire. "Does he know Hiro at all? God, I wanna rip his heart out." I stopped for a moment. "And then to say what he did to my uncle, HIS COACH? At the party he was throwing FOR THE TEAM!" When I got it all out, Ben looked at me carefully, I guess to be sure I'd actually let him talk.

"Look, what Claude did was not right. At all. And I told you before, anyone who knows Hiro would be as sure as you are she'd never cheat in a relationship. But Claude's my friend, and he is a good guy." I saw red again.

"A GOOD guy?"

"Yes, Bea! I'm not, and I wouldn't make excuses for what he did, but you know as much as I do that what happened tonight isn't like him. He was crazy about Hiro. There had to be a reason he was so upset."

"Hmph. Crazy being the key word... Wait, are you trying to say that Hiro-"

"Of course not! What I'm saying is, even if it wasn't true, Claude believed it."

"But why?" I asked in a more reasonable tone. "He couldn't have seen anything himself, I can't imagine anyone saying anything to him, cause they'd have to be lying or whatever. Even if they did, why would he believe them?" Ben just shrugged.

"Beats me."

"And seriously, if he was that bent out of shape worrying that something was going on behind his back, why didn't he talk with her about it before flipping out like that in public?" Suddenly, Ben gasped and his eyes widened into bright blue saucers before he exclaimed,
"Of course!"

"Of course, what?" I asked.

"Bea, do you remember saying almost all the same things that time we were talking about Othello back in high school? Something about how he was an idiot for listening to Iago and not even trying to get Desdemona's side of the story."

"Or even talking to anyone else about it aside from the one person telling him all that garbage before jumping to ridiculous conclusions?" I added, the pieces beginning to click. Claude and Hiro, Othello and Desdemona. It was an apt comparison."So, you're saying Claude had an Iago - of sorts."

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"But, who? And, why?"

"I couldn't say why, maybe jealousy? But my money's on John Donaldson. I remember after he talked with Claude at the Halloween party, Claude somehow had the idea that Pete was trying to snatch Hiro out from under his nose."

"So, you think he's been trying to break them up?"

"It seems kind of ridiculous, but it makes sense." I had to agree, and told him,

"We need to talk to Uncle Leo."

"And Claude." Ben added. I sighed in exasperation.

"Oh, alright if you insist. He is your friend."

The idea of Pete's brother stirring up trouble was pretty bizarre but not totally unbelievable, and it certainly shed light on Claude's actions, even if not really justifying them. Regardless, in a better frame of mind Ben and I took off the for the hospital. We waited around with my aunt and uncle, Pete Donaldson, Maggie, and Tina. The first order of business was to explain to Uncle Leo our suspicions about John. Since he was the firsthand witness to it all, Ben did most of the talking.

"I don't know what to think." Uncle Leo finally said. "It would certainly explain how Claude could have gotten such an absurd idea, but beyond that-"

"Well, with Claude playing so well, John's not off the bench much." Ben explained

"I guess so. But, you really think he'd resent Claude for it that much?"

"It seems that way." My uncle just shook his head before his cellphone rang.

"It's work, I'd better take this." He told us before stepping away. Aunt Kishomi, Ben, and I just looked at each other in confusion. We sat in comparative silence only interrupted every so often by what sounded like exclamations from Uncle Leo down the hall. When he rejoined us, he looked shellshocked.

"That was Dogberry from campus security. He's one of the officers that monitors student computing. Apparently Rick Borachio had contacted them, concerned that his school email had been hacked. He said he found sent and received emails in his account he had never seen before. He admitted that he had helped John Donaldson try to break up Claude and Hiro, but freaked out when he realized John must have accessed his account without his permission."

"Isn't John's work-study job in academic computing?" I asked.

"Yeah. He does technical support with the computers, school website, and student accounts." Ben answered.

"Wait! Claude said something about emails when he was accusing Hiro of cheating on him! John must have gotten into her account, too!" I said.

"Exactly." My uncle cut in. "They looked into his account access, and while he'd done a lot to cover his tracks, they were able to retrace all the suspect emails to his computer."

"I can't believe he'd do that." was all I could say.

"I mean, he always seemed grouchy or...I dunno, sullen?" Ben said. "But, with that haircut I just figured he was emo. At worst maybe in need of an attitude adjustment, but this, this is..."

"Malicious." My uncle said firmly.

"Son of a bitch." I spat out.

"We were never very close, but as his coach I...I thought I knew him." Uncle Leo said. Ben clapped his hand on his shoulder and told him quietly.

"We all did, Coach." There wasn't much more to be said after we all agreed to let Hiro know what had happened once we felt she was doing better, and Claude too. Though at first I thought it was more than he deserved, I figured it couldn't hurt to make him realize just how huge a jackass he'd been.

Meanwhile, Hiro was being shuffled from one test to another, which worried us, but the more convinced we all became of Hiro's injuries not being as serious as we initially feared, the mood gradually lightened.

We hadn't talked about it beforehand, but Ben and I didn't say anything about what had happened between us. It was all too new, and there was too much still to be sorted out to want to share just yet. Plus, of course, Hiro's situation was the important thing until she was materially better.

By a little after 10:30, a nurse wheeled Hiro back from whatever scan or test they had just been doing, and we were able to talk with her for a few minutes. Overall, she seemed alert, and as much like herself as could be expected given the circumstances, if a little worn out by the stress of the last few hours. The cut on her head didn't even need stitches, but the area around it had started to bruise, and seeing her banged up and hooked up to monitors, Ivs, and who knows what else broke my heart almost as much as seeing how heartbroken she was about Claude.

Hiro hadn't said too much, and barely breathed a word about what happened, but I knew her well enough to know that her relative silence on the subject was the surest sign of how much it hurt her. I had no intention of bringing it up, but just sitting there and quietly saying "Hiro, I'm so sorry." brought tears to her eyes and all she said was, "Bea, how could he?" All I could do was hug her. The nurse was pretty quick to shoo everyone except my Aunt and Uncle back out of the room, reminding us that we all weren't really supposed to be in there in the first place, as visiting hours were over. We all said goodnight and went our separate ways.

Ben and I walked back to his car in a soothing silence which we kept up after we were on the road. I don't know who grabbed who's hand, but Ben drove with one hand on the wheel, the other in mine. Several minutes went by, and I started to doze off until Ben gave my hand a sharp squeeze, which, now more alert, I returned with interest, and a dirty look. He smirked, and I rolled my eyes with a begrudging grin. Before long, we pulled up to my house. He walked me to the door, which I immediately unlocked and held open for him. Partly for the sake of avoiding the awkward doorstep ritual, but mostly because I didn't really want to be by myself.

"I'm coming inside?" Ben asked, apparently surprised. He looked at me closely, I guess to see if I was serious.

"That was the idea."

"Well, if you insist." he said with smirk before walking through the door. I smiled.

"You can hang your coat right here," I told him as I put mine away, "and if you don't mind chilling in the living room for a minute, I should probably go get changed."

"Oh...alright. Sure." He said. I hurried up the steps to my room. Hiro and I came home from school a few weekends a month, but most of my things were in my dorm. This limited my options, but I did manage to find a tee shirt and pajama pants to put on after frantically pulling out the bobbypins from my hair and washing off my makeup.

I walked back downstairs and saw Ben on the sofa, flipping through channels on the TV. Suddenly insecure, it occurred to me that I probably should have put a little more thought into my outfit. I was considering running back to my room when he spotted me and smiled. Internally, I had to laugh at myself for being so ridiculous; this was real. The worry was irrational. I walked over towards the sofa, but before I could grab a seat, Ben took my hand, pulled me to him, and kissed me. Foreheads still touching, we broke apart grinning.

"Hey."

"Hi."

And with that, I reached beside him, snatched a pillow, and smacked him upside the head.

"Hey!"

"Skooch over."

"Haha, alright." and with that, I sat beside him, and he put his arm around me as if this happened everyday. We didn't say anything for a while, and as exhaustion started to catch up with me, I found myself gradually leaning into Ben's shoulder. I was nearly asleep when he nudged me, and asked quietly,

"Hey, just remembered. Weren't you saying we needed to talk?"

"Huwuh?" I mumbled groggily, and then the memory of our text conversation last week came back to me. "Hmm...I think we've said what we needed to for now. We can sort the rest out when we're more awake?" I yawned. Ben looked pretty tired himself.

"Alright." It wasn't long before we both were asleep.