The next day, the corpses waited for Ms. Frizzle for – fuck, I don't know how long, but it was longer than the last time. By the time she showed up, all the children were alive again.

"Today, class," said Ms. Frizzle as she walked into the classroom, "we will be learning about mental illness, which is a condition which causes serious disorder in a person's behavior or thinking."

"According to my research, being a faggot is a mental illness," said Dorothy Ann, glaring at Carlos.

Ignoring her, Ms. Frizzle continued, "For our lesson today, we will be taking a field trip..."

"Please, let this be a normal field trip," interrupted Arnold.

"...to an insane asylum," Ms. Frizzle finished.

"I knew I should have stayed home today," said Arnold.

"Alright, everybody follow me to the bus," said Ms. Frizzle.

The students followed Ms. Frizzle out to the bus and everyone took their seats.

"Seat belts, everyone!" ordered Ms. Frizzle as she got into the driver seat, "or leave them off, I don't give a shit. Okay, bus, do your stuff!" She slammed on the gas, and off they went with the Magic School Bus theme song playing.

"What the hell is this jungle music?" sneered Dorothy Ann. As usual, she was ignored.

A few centuries later, they finally arrived at the insane asylum.

"Everybody out!" ordered Ms. Frizzle, who then led the children into the doors of the asylum. They were greeted by a stern-looking nun and an evil-looking doctor.

"Now," said Ms. Frizzle, "I am going to diagnose you children with mental illnesses and you will be given proper treatment." She went up to Carlos. "Carlos, many years ago, homosexuality was treated like a mental illness..."

"It is a mental illness!" interrupted Dorothy Ann.

Ignoring her, Ms. Frizzle continued, "...and they would try to cure it through a variety of methods.

"He's a homosexual?" asked the nun. "Well, I can pray it away." She went up to Carlos and started shaking him violently, shouting, "REDEEM YOURSELF IN THE EYES OF THE LORD! YOU LIKE PUSSY! YOU LIKE PUSSY! YOU LIKE PUSSY! YOU LIKE PUSSY!" When she finally let go, Carlos fell down.

"Wow I'm really shaken up," said Carlos, "get it?"
"CARLOS!" everyone shouted in unison.

"Foolish Sister!" said the doctor, "everyone knows that prayer doesn't cure homosexuality... ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY DOES!" He strapped Carlos to a table, wired him up, and pulled a lever, severely electrocuting him.

When the doctor finally turned the lever off, Carlos said, "Man, that was a real shocker. Get it?"
"CARLOS!" everyone shouted in unison again.

"Another form of mental illness is post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD for short," said Ms. Frizzle. "PTSD is a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress occurring as a result of injury or severe psychological shock." She went up to Phoebe and said, "Phoebe here is suffering PTSD from the loss of her organs."

"MY PUSSY POPS SEVERELY!" screamed Phoebe.

"We will not have that foul language in here," said the nun, pulling out a cane. She started whacking Phoebe repeatedly with it.

"PTSD can easily be cured with a simple lobotomy," said the doctor. He strapped Phoebe to another table and hammered an ice pick through each of her eye sockets. Pulling them out, he exclaimed, "She's cured! It's a miracle!"

"I GAVE IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE! THE NOOKIE! THE NOOKIE! SO YOU CAN TAKE THAT COOKIE AND STICK IT UP YOUR YEAH! STICK IT UP YOUR YEAH! STICK IT UP YOUR YEAH!" screamed Phoebe.

Just then, the students heard a familiar voice screaming, "WHERE'S THE HEROIN, YOU FUCKING CUNTS?! GIVE IT TO ME NOW OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"Ah, yes, that must be our good friend Wanda," said Ms. Frizzle, leading the children into a padded cell. "I had her committed here because the heroin turned her into a psycho bitch." Ms. Frizzle opened the cell door to reveal Wanda squirming around in a straitjacket.

"YOU'RE THE PSYCHO BITCH!" she screamed, breaking free from the straitjacket.

"Poor child," said the nun, "she's clearly possessed by Satan. She needs an exorcism right away."

"No, you fool," said the doctor, "this behavior can easily be cured with a simple lobotomy!"

"Exorcism!" said the nun, pulling on one of Wanda's arms.

"Lobotomy!" said the doctor, pulling on Wanda's other arm.

"EXORCISM!"

"LOBOTOMY!"

"EXORCISM!"

"LOBOTOMY!"

"EXORCISM!"

"LOBOTOMY!"

"EXORCISM!"

"LOBOTOMY!"

With each exchange, the nun and the doctor pulled on Wanda's arms harder and harder until, finally, they tore her in half, killing her.

Turning to the class, Ms. Frizzle concluded, "Anyway, class, that is mental illness."