Twenty minutes later Reid was lying in his bed, but he was far from finding sleep. His thoughts were running riot, spiraling along an endless vicious circle of brooding thoughts and regrets.

The expression on Luke's face before he ran out of the room flashed up vividly in his memory. There had been so much hurt. Remembering this, Reid suddenly doubted that it would be easy to get things between them back to the way they had been.

But maybe this was for the best! In his current condition, having an emotional relationship with anyone and the responsibility that came with that, appeared to him too much of a burden.

He was trapped inside himself. One part of him wanted to break free from his past and his inability to relate to somebody, to bring Luke back and set off into a future with him, but the other part knew all too well that he was far too attached to his old life to ever let go.

Knowing all that about himself, he had to acknowledge that it would only be selfish and cruel to hold on to Luke. Luke was far too young and full of life to put up with somebody like him. Luke deserved better than that and it would be only right to set him free to give him the chance to find somebody who could give him everything he needed.

Imagining what Luke was probably feeling like right now, he felt a stab of guilt. Of course, in his heart of hearts he couldn't help but admit Katie was right. There was no excuse for the way he had treated Luke tonight.

Ever since the accident Luke had been nothing but amazing, but instead of showing him how much he appreciated that, Reid had blamed and insulted him in the worst way imaginable.

And the worst thing was that although he was perfectly aware of what he had done wrong, Reid knew that in his current state he could not be trusted not to freak out like that again.

But then again, Luke's naïve optimism just made him furious. How could that boy believe that love was enough to build a life on? How could he honestly believe that Reid would agree to live off Luke's money? Did Luke really know him that little?

Reid groaned with frustration. He was so bloody tired – exhausted and tired – but his thoughts wouldn't stop haunting him and kept him from falling asleep. After an hour of tossing and turning, he finally gave up and got out of bed in order to get himself something to drink.

With a bottle of water he sat down on the sofa and switched on the TV to see if something not completely stupid was on. Aimlessly, he zapped through the different channels without paying enough attention to actually choose a program. Unable to focus on the TV, he sighed and leaned back.

Was it really just a few hours ago that things had looked so promising between him and Luke and that they had actually been about to finally have sex? Well, the way things looked now, it was probably for the best that they hadn't.

Now that Reid grew more and more convinced that they didn't have a future together, he was relieved that they hadn't slept together yet, so breaking up and moving on would be easier for Luke, to whom making love seemed to mean such a serious commitment.

Reid picked up his water bottle and went back to bed for another attempt at sleep. He tried to empty his mind by force but his thoughts kept squeezing back in…

The problem was that Luke was the kind of person who was completely defined by his emotions and the relationships he was in, whereas Reid's own identity was tied to his work and all the success and prestige that came with it.

If only he himself could be that guy who could build a life on love!

Knowing that he wasn't and never would be, Reid was now torn between his feelings for Luke and the recognition that he wasn't right for Luke, between the urge to apologize in order to bring Luke back and the rational decision to break up for good in order to give Luke the chance to find somebody new.

Reid's mind kept racing to and fro between these two options and before it arrived at a result, a dreamless sleep finally releases him from his ordeal.