The semester seemed to fly by for Sam. Once classes started they were intense, taking up most of his time either in his lectures or studying afterwards. And when his head wasn't full of legal terms and case studies, things were going quickly with Madison. She had announced to the rest of their house that they were an item, and Sam had gone along with it, though he was still hesitant about being in a new relationship. He was trying not to second-guess the situation too much. After all, Madison was sweet, and they had a lot in common.

It did mean that Madison was always there, either in Sam's bed or dragging him into her room. In lectures, they sat side-by-side, and they studied together in the library after hours. It was intense in a strange way, always having Madison by his side. He began to treasure the few minutes respite he got in the bathroom, the only place he ever felt alone.

When he packed his car for the winter break, she was tearful, hugging him over and over, making him promise to call her. Telling him she was going to miss him. He said that he would miss her too, holding her close and kissing her forehead, before climbing into the driver's seat. She was watching as he pulled away, he could see in the rearview mirror, and he heaved a sigh of relief as he turned a corner and could no longer see her.

Surely it wasn't right to feel like that? To feel hampered by the person you were seeing, hoping to get some personal space? He had never had that with Jess, when things were good. He was always happy to see her, always wanted to make their time together last. And Madison was amazing, she was pretty and smart and sweet and caring. On paper, she was a brilliant girlfriend. And Sam didn't dislike her, he just wanted some space every now and then.

He embraced the ride home, driving through the middle of nowhere to hit Kansas, stopping off in Wyoming and sleeping in his car overnight. It was nice to be alone for the two day drive, to be able to just think, before he got home and his mother chattered endlessly at him and John barked a few comments out, before Dean ignored him for his husband again.

He got back to a quiet house, the only clue that there was anyone home was the smell of baking coming from the kitchen.

"Hello?" He called through the house, walking into the kitchen where Mary was baking for an army, clearly looking forward to having her sons home. "Mom?"

"Oh, Sam! You're home!" She dusted her hands off and walked around the counter, pulling him into a tight hug. Sam hadn't realised how much he'd missed his mother until he was back in her arms, being held like this. "Now, honey, a couple of things." Mary sniffed, and Sam looked carefully at her face. Her eyes were rimmed red, and her cheeks glistened with drying tears. Sam had a moment of apprehension, scared of what she was about to say. "Dean's home tonight, and then tomorrow he's going to pick Castiel and Gabriel from the airport. Castiel had something important to do in New York last minute, apparently. They're both going to share with Dean in his room. You'll be in yours with … with …"

She burst into tears again, and Sam pulled her close, not really needing further explanation. He knew his parents relationship had been rocky recently. He wondered exactly when it was that John had decided to sleep in his bed, and how he was going to cope with his father snoring right beside him, reeking of cheap booze. They heard the front door open and close, and Mary stepped away, facing the oven, and wiping the tears from her eyes. Sam left the room to go and do some damage control, if he possibly could. He saw Dean stretching, rubbing out the crick in his neck.

"Hey Sam."

"Hey," he closed the door softly behind himself, stepping closer and dropping his voice. "Don't go in there. Mom's … working on a surprise."

"Oh. I promised Cas there would be cookies when he got here. I was going to ask-"

"Trust me, there's going to be loads of cookies. I think we're going to be eating cookies for Christmas dinner."

Dean smirked, and grabbed up one of his bags.

"Sweet. I told Cas there would be a tonne."

Sam couldn't think of how to tell Dean the truth, that their mother was crying because her marriage was all but over. Dean was way too happy.

"You're in your room, Mom said. With Cas and Gabe."

"Cool. About time."

Sam followed Dean upstairs, and into his room, watching as his brother started going through his bag.

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

"You and Cas are always together, aren't you?"

Dean peered over his shoulder for a moment, and then refocused on his belongings.

"Cas is in New York right now."

"I mean, most of the time. You live together, you go to class together, spend all your spare time together. Right?"

Dean sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at Sam, studying him quietly.

"We're in a couple of the same classes. Different majors. Sometimes Cas goes out with his asshole writer friends, sometimes Ash drags me to a concert. Cas spends a lot of time writing as well, and when that happens I might as well not be there because he's in his head in a different world. We're not always together. But when we are, and Cas hasn't got his novel open? Its pretty good. Like, real good. I know we haven't talked a lot since he came along and I'm sorry if you feel like he's pushing you out, but … yeah, I love spending time with him."

"And you never just want five minutes to yourself?"

"Are you kidding? Waste five minutes of Cas time?"

Sam slumped down the wall. That wasn't what he was hoping to hear.

"Sam, I'm not going to badmouth my husband."

"That wasn't what I was after. Never mind."

Sam had clearly forgotten what Dean could be like. He wasn't going to let it go now the conversation had started.

"No, what? You don't like Cas and this is the first chance you've had to tell me how much he sucks?"

"I like Cas. Sure, I don't know him well, but when I have talked to him he's been okay. It's nothing to do with you and Cas."

"What's it about then?"

Sam found himself confessing everything, about going to college and meeting Madison and falling into a relationship with her. How suffocating he found her sometimes, because he never got a break from her, how sometimes he couldn't concentrate on his classes because she would shuffle closer and he would just constantly be aware of her. But how sweet she was, how much he did like her. Dean listened until he ran out of words.

"I thought you were seeing Gabe?"

Sam groaned, and buried his head in his hands.

"Gabe doesn't want me."

"Really? Because the guy had his mouth wrapped around your-"

"He said we couldn't. Because of you and Cas." Sam blushed, he could feel the heat in his cheeks. "He didn't even say goodbye to me."

Dean paused for a moment, before regrouping.

"So, what? You hit on a friend when you were drunk and you didn't give it to her straight when you got sober and now you're yanking her chain because you're too scared to tell her the truth?"

Sam had also forgotten that Dean had a knack for phrasing things in the bluntest way possible.

"I don't want to hurt her."

"But you're not into her."

"Not really. Not enough."

"Sammy? You're hurting her anyway. And if you tell anyone I gave you dating advice I will hurt you but … the thing with Cas was, we could spend the whole day together and it wasn't enough. We could just start talking and the whole day would pass us by. I can't sleep without him there now. And I never had that with anyone before. If you're not like that about Madison, if you're making your showers longer so you can avoid her for a couple extra minutes? You gotta tell her the truth."

"We live together, Dean."

"So?"

"So, everyone will have to take sides, it'll be awkward, it won't be fair. She'll be hurt."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fine. Gabriel's coming tomorrow. And even if you're not meant to be fooling around with him, are you seriously telling me right now that you won't try to anyway, to hell with Mom and Dad's rules and my marriage and your college girlfriend?"

Sam folded his arms tight across his chest, knowing Dean was accurate. Gabe in the abstract was tempting, but up close and in real life, he was irresistible.

"You're not going to listen to me anyway, but I think you should break up with her. Before you cheat on her like you did with Jess."

Dean shoved a bunch of clothes into his laundry hamper, and grabbed up the handles, taking it out of his room and downstairs, leaving Sam pressed against the wall, clutching his stomach. He felt sick, hearing Dean phrase it like that. He hadn't meant to cheat on Jess after all, and it was still something he regretted. But he knew, as much as he hated Dean's reality slap, that he had a point. Sam walked into his own room, closed the door, and pulled out his cell phone. He took a deep breath, and called Madison's number.

"Sam? Did you just get home? I was worried about you, on the road for so long on your own." Madison was already making him feel crowded. He counted to three in his head.

"Uh, yeah, I just got home. How was your flight?"

"Fine, you know. It was a plane ride, no big deal. I thought of you when we flew over Kansas."

Sam closed his eyes, still trying to remain calm.

"My friends are here, I'm going to put you on speaker phone. Guys, it's Sam, my boyfriend. Say hi."

There was a chorus of hellos, and Sam wondered if she knew what was coming, if she was doing this on purpose.

"Hey."

"Oh, he has such a cute accent!" One voice squealed. Sam wondered how they could even tell from one word.

"Madison? Uh, could you maybe take me off of loud speaker? I just want to talk."

"Really? Is this about my Christmas present? We're going to swap them when we get back to school." She was obviously informing her friends of the decision she'd made, and Sam wished she wouldn't. "Anything you have to say, you can say in front of my friends. They'll find out anyway."

"I think you're going to want me off loud speaker." Sam insisted. But clearly Madison wasn't getting a sense of what was coming.

"If you're going to be awkwardly romantic Sam, it's fine."

Sam wasn't sure if he'd ever been awkwardly romantic. Unless bringing a spare pen for her to use every class counted.

"I'm not."

There was some giggling, and then hushing noises, before Madison spoke again.

"Okay, I took it off loud speaker. What did you want to say?"

Sam doubted whether she had, but he was quickly losing his resolve.

"Look, when we go back, after the winter break, can we just go back as friends, as housemates?"

There was a long pause. He knew she hadn't been expecting that, but it felt like she was leaving the silence there for a reason and Sam soon found himself babbling.

"It's just … I didn't tell you before, but there's someone here that I … it's an on-off kind of a thing. You know, you and I rushed into everything and there wasn't the chance to tell you that we were off. But I think we could be back on. It's complicated. But I just, I … I'm not a cheater."

The dial tone hit his ear, and he knew he'd been cut off. He hung up and flopped backwards on his bed, hoping that Dean's advice was good. It would suck to have dumped Madison without even having a chance with Gabriel.

Flying with someone was a new experience for Gabriel. Even with Castiel, who had shown little care for plane hopping before. Especially with Castiel. But on the whole, Gabriel had enjoyed himself. It was heart-warming to see Castiel so flushed with happiness, talking about his new book deal and his course. And Dean, endlessly Dean. Gabriel felt like he knew his brother-in-law better than he knew most other people. Castiel asked politely about his travels, and Gabriel gave a brief rundown on places he'd been, and things he'd done. He was aware as he spoke that he was missing the same passion that Castiel had evoked when he spoke, like his heart hadn't been in the places he had gone. Castiel, ever sharp, noticed.

"Gabriel, I know it's not my place to say, and you're probably going to make some joke about this, but do you ever consider meeting someone you would want to travel with?"

"Yeah, who'd put up with me for that long?"

Castiel just gave him a measured look, before appearing to change the subject. Gabriel knew his little brother better than that. He knew it was part of Castiel's point.

"Over the summer, I returned with Dean to his parents house. Sam asked if you were going to be there. Their mother was asking after you."

"Well, yeah. Because I'm your brother."

"I think Sam has missed you."

Gabriel fixed his face into a poker straight expression, unwilling to admit to anything.

"That's Sam's issue."

"What are you really resisting, Gabriel? I know you didn't have the best start to a relationship, but even Dean believes you're still with Sam. I don't even recall you mentioning making a friend in the entire time it's just been you and I. Everyone is fleeting. If its commitment to Sam that has you scared, it's okay to admit it. Healthy, even."

"Sam has a girlfriend."

"It's my understanding that he doesn't."

"Even if it's not Jess, it'll be some girl." Gabriel turned and looked out of the window as they descended into Lawrence Municipal Airport. Castiel wasn't ready to let it lie.

"Exactly, Gabriel. He's going to date some girl, or some guy, or even a string of them, while he waits for you to be ready for him. And the danger you run is that when you're finally ready to make that commitment, he would have given up and settled for someone else. We're all going to be together again soon and the chances are that you'll be spending most of your time with him again. If you're being honest with me about the fact that you're not interested, you should let him down gently. But if, and I suspect this is more the case, if you've missed him as much as he's missed you, you should consider letting him know how you really feel."

Gabriel thought of those long days the year before, laying in Sam's arms and talking about the stars above them. Sam knew, he just had to remember to know the truth.

They landed fairly smoothly, and waited patiently for Gabriel's rucksack to come through baggage claim before they walked together towards the main doors.

"Dean said he would pick us up," Castiel bent his head closer, trying to keep his voice down, as though people would overhear and know that he had a husband. Like it was a crime.

"Great, so we're speeding back to his parents house with loud rock music."

"We all have our vices, Gabriel. Apparently lately, yours has been thrill-seeking."

Gabriel had noticed before that Castiel was becoming more and more outspoken. He supposed it was a consequence of being in love with Dean, but he wasn't sure he liked it. And it didn't matter, because Dean bustled over, a paper cup in his hand. Saving Gabriel from having to give a rebuttal. Instead, he focused on his brother-in-law.

"Hey Deano. Is that for me?"

"No." Dean didn't look irritated, he was only paying attention to Castiel, putting the cup in his hand and taking his carry on backpack. It was strangely satisfying to see his brother being taken care of like it. "How was it?"

Gabriel might as well not have been there, the way Dean was fussing over Castiel. But his brother took it in stride, apparently used to Dean's clucking.

"It was good," he smiled politely, talking as though they were already halfway through a conversation. Which, Gabriel presumed, was a regular occurrence with them. "I took a picture of the cover, I said I wanted you to see it. They were fine with it. Thank you for the coffee."

He took a sip, and they followed Dean out to the Impala. They had barely gotten halfway across the sidewalk when Sam leapt out of the passenger seat, bounding up to them, a smile plastered across his face. And Gabriel felt something hit him hard in his stomach. He had fantasised about Sam for a year, mixing memories with forbidden wishes, but somehow his mind hadn't done justice to Sam. To the mix of rich browns that made up his floppy hair, the dimple in his cheek, that cute mole by his nose and the almost hidden one on his chin. That wide smile flashing flawless teeth. The way he seemed to go on forever, six-and-a-half-feet of pure energy.

All of this was slamming into Gabriel's head, and Sam's focus seemed to be entirely on him.

"Hi Gabe." he said as Dean popped the trunk and put the bags inside. Sam's voice was different to Gabriel's memories too. Stronger, almost like chocolate. If that made any sense. He made himself behave, and not step forward into Sam's arms.

"Hey beanpole."

He knew Sam wouldn't like the name. But it was a test. Gabriel saw Castiel shake his head and climb into the passenger seat. Sam let it roll off him.

"So, you're back for Christmas, huh?"

"Yeah. Time for family, right? And Cas is my family. I go where he is."

He knew Sam knew it already. He didn't know what possessed him to try and push Sam away, even after Castiel's advice. Maybe it was like Castiel said, and Gabriel was frightened of the commitment that would come with Sam. Dean shut the trunk and climbed into the driver's seat, leaning over to see something on Castiel's phone. Gabriel turned to climb into the car too, but Sam caught his arm, sending heat right through his body.

"Gabriel?"

It took all that Gabriel had left of his willpower not to turn back and kiss Sam. He waited instead, for what Sam could possibly want.

"Um, how was Australia?"

"Good. Pretty. I'd show you some pictures but some asshole stole my camera in Tokyo. Ended up going to the arctic afterwards. Guess I needed to cool down."

Sam chuckled, and Gabriel wanted to kick himself.

"We should get into the car. I don't think Dean's going to wait forever."

"We're only three miles out of town. It wouldn't completely suck."

Gabriel looked up into Sam's earnest, open face and steeled himself.

"Sam, whether we're in the car or not, we're together. Right? But in the car with our brothers is probably the best idea."

"Okay. Um, just a heads up?" Sam carried on pushing Gabriel's resolve. "My dad's been sleeping in my bed lately. So I'm probably in with him, you're probably in with them." He nodded his head towards the car.

"He's been sleeping in your bed? Why?" Gabriel was concerned. He was surprised at how much had happened in just a year. But Sam merely shook his head, unwilling to talk about it, and Gabriel didn't know what to say. Instead, he walked to one of the doors and pulled it open, and Sam fell into the seat beside him. He tapped on the upholstery behind Dean, drumming it though he knew Dean would hate it.

"Step on it. What kind of chauffeur are you?"

"We'll talk later." Castiel said, and sipped his coffee. Gabriel had no idea if his brother was aiming the comment at himself or Dean.

Sam was beside himself. Gabriel was actually there, right next to him, looking tanned and relaxed. The hue of his skin made the gold in his hair and his eyes pop even more. He was glad he had called Madison and broken it off, because Gabriel was a thousand times better than he remembered. He had spent the entire car ride just wanting to reach out and touch him, reassure himself that Gabriel was real, solid. There.

Dean and Castiel had decided to help Mary cook dinner, and Sam made himself resist Gabriel, walking to the edge of their property and sitting on a small pile of tires. For all he wanted to spend time with Gabriel, he was trying to be smart. Gabe didn't want him, and Sam didn't want to irritate him the way Madison had gotten under Sam's skin. Clinging to someone who didn't want you back was degrading. But Gabriel soon materialised beside him, taking a seat on a stripped-down Mustang chassis. It was so old Sam couldn't even tell which model it was, couldn't believe it would take Gabriel's weight.

"I forgot you were going to college. Law school, right?" Gabriel sounded breezy enough.

"Yeah. Stanford."

Gabriel gave a low whistle.

"Knew you were meant for great things."

Sam just looked at him. So, Gabriel knew he was meant for great things, and he knew he was meant for Gabriel. It made sense in his head.

"You meet anyone, out in Stanford?"

"I was seeing someone, but it didn't work out."

Gabriel didn't react like Sam wanted, didn't get angry or jealous. He merely nodded, and scratched at a panel of rust on the chassis.

"What about you?"

"Well, I fucked a few people." He smirked.

Sam stood up, and kicked the tire pile. He knew that it was hypocritical, when he had slept with Madison, but it wasn't so much about the sex as it was Gabriel's attitude to it all. Like he didn't care if it hurt Sam. He rounded on the man he hadn't stopped thinking about, and Gabriel's smirk fell.

"Look, Gabe, I still like you. I still want you. So can you just … can you not …" He wasn't sure what he was even asking for at this point. Gabriel looked at his feet. "Can you just stop leading me on? If there's really nothing here, if I'm reading this completely wrong and you're not just saying the things you think other people want to hear? Because I am sick of wanting you and not being able to have you."

"We're practically related, Sam." Gabriel pointed out.

"I don't care. And they don't care. The only person who seems to give a crap about that is you."

"What do you want me to say?"

"The truth, Gabe! I just want the truth!"

Gabriel looked up from his feet and clicked his tongue.

"The truth? Like how everything I've done in the last year I've done with your voice in my head, talking in that way you do about whatever you're passionate about? That I would lay in my sleeping bag and imagine you there? That I've never wanted anyone the way I want you? Or the truth that, you're going to be a fantastic lawyer, and you need to study hard and you don't need the distraction of a fuck up like me."

"Stop making excuses."

"Your education isn't an excuse. Study, okay? I want you to study hard, and get all the internships you can, and graduate. Maybe once you have, when you're qualified and working somewhere, we can revisit this."

"So, what, we have two weeks together where nothing happens?" Sam crunched down on the chassis next to Gabriel, hearing it groan in complaint as it bore his weight.

"I don't see how it can happen."

"We made it work last year," Sam felt it was a good argument. He put his arm around Gabriel's shoulders. "Just please, stop pretending you're not into me. Or that you are, and you don't care really."

Gabriel looked up at him, and Sam couldn't help himself, didn't care if he was acting pushy like Madison. He bent closer and kissed the guy he'd been crazy about for the past year, almost crying with relief when Gabriel kissed him back, sliding his arms around Sam's waist. It was like they hadn't been separated, they fit together so well. The conversation Sam had had with Dean stuck in his head, about not getting enough of Cas, of everything that went into their relationship. He wanted to believe he had found that kind of relationship with Gabriel, even if he was having to work hard for it. The broke apart slowly, unable to resist going back for one more kiss, just one more, and then they pressed their foreheads together. Sam kept his eyes firmly closed.

"Would you cope? If it was two weeks and then nothing again for a whole year?" Gabriel whispered.

"Would I have to work my ass off to convince you again next year?" Sam countered.

"No. But when we're not together, you're going to bust your ass to become a lawyer. Right?"

"Of course." Sam rubbed the tips of their noses together, hoping that, now Gabriel's defences were down, he stood a chance of getting more from him. "Gabe?"

"Yeah shrimp?"

"Can I please have your number?"

"No."

"Gabe," Sam was building up for a stellar argument, once that proved he was worthy of being a lawyer.

"Sam, sometimes I don't charge my phone for weeks. I don't get the chance. Knowing you have my number means I'm checking that thing every five minutes and running down the battery and you'll get put through to answerphone and think I'm not interested anymore."

"There has to be some way of staying in touch."

"What did I say about nothing until next year?"

Sam shrugged.

"I'm trying to be a lawyer?"

Gabriel laughed, throwing his head back, and Sam watched, feeling oddly happy that he made Gabriel laugh like that. He leaned closer and kissed Gabriel's neck, listening as the laughter quickly sobered and Gabriel's breathing began to stutter.

"Sam Winchester, I swear, you're going to kill me one day."

"I'll represent myself," he mumbled against Gabriel's neck. "Be a cakewalk."

"I'm pretty sure death by adorableness carries a life sentence."

"Yep, life without Gabe. Worst sentence ever."

"Shut up and keep doing that to my neck."

Sam did shut up, not because Gabriel demanded it, but because he could hear Gabriel giving in to him. Because Gabriel was letting him in, and his neck tasted good, and they only had two weeks to cram as many moments like this in as possible.