Chapter Ten

John sighed. He'd forgotten to ask her how long the scan would take. He had been sitting next to her holding her hand and absent-mindedly stroking it for about six minutes and was slowly starting to become restless.
I hope she knows what she's doing…

She was lying in exactly the same position as she had been before, after he and Sarah had carted her into her room and struggled to lay her on her bed. Her eyes were wide open, staring vacantly, unblinking.

John looked at his watch.
Half past one…
A shiver ran down his spine. The room suddenly felt colder. His grip on her hand tightened and his breathing became ragged, the fears settling in and taking hold of him.
If she dies…

He told himself for the second time running that she was a machine and could not just die like that, that this was normal behaviour, that she was merely in standby mode, just like his laptop could be.
Then he remembered the faint blue glow he had seen emanating from somewhere behind her irises as she had placed his hand on her chest. She was so alive, so human, so … vulnerable.
John bent over her, gazing deep into those dark brown pools, their shine so familiar, calming him down, making him feel … at home.
Your flashing eyes and sudden smiles are never quite at ease … and neither am I…

"That's going to change, Cameron" he thought aloud, coming to the decision that he was no longer going to allow himself to be mastered by his shyness, nor to permit his existence to be governed by his mother's rules and mantras. He was no longer going to abide by his so-called destiny, becoming a slave to his own future-self.
The future is now…

"What's going to change, John?"

He jumped back in alarm and nearly fell off the bed, such was his surprise at the sudden unexpected sound of her voice.
His earlier resolutions mocking him in the back of his head, a completely speechless John realized he was first going to have to work on his nerves in order to overcome his timorousness.

Cameron batted her eyes and offered him a bright smile, looking positively relaxed.
She was back. And she was smiling, which meant she had not found any malicious code or anything else wrong with her system. A relief so pronounced, it made him want to laugh and cry at the same time, flooded through him.

"So you're okay" he managed to breathe, the lump in his throat constricting his voice. "You didn't find anything … bad in there, then?"

She sat up and gazed at him in adoration, the relief on his face telling her that that he had been deeply worried, if not anxious about her while she had been in standby.
He really did stay with me…

Strong relief also flooded through Cameron as she realized that she was no longer alone, that her John would always care for her, even if this care sometimes came into conflict with her mission to protect him. Seeing the inquiring look of concern on his face she knew she would succeed in combining protection with care, even if she would have to teach John to not let his care for her get in the way of his vigilance.

"No. I found nothing" she replied, smiling. "The results of both scans were identical. You were right, John."
Tilting her head, she repeated curiously "What is going to change?"

"You'll see" he said, grinning mischievously. "But first of all I intend to work on my 'scare level', meaning you're not allowed to sneak up on me and make me jump anymore."

"That's a shame. Your little squeaks are rather cute."
She fluttered her eyelids at him, an impish smile playing on her lips.

With a mock pout, he poked her in the ribs. She flinched. John's eyebrows shot up his head.

I don't believe it…

He poked her in the ribs again. She flinched again.
Can terminators be ticklish?…

Grinning broadly and saving this new information about Cameron for a later time whenever he needed to get even with her, John got up and held out his hand.

Looking puzzled, Cameron took it and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet.
"Where are we going, John?"

He picked up his laptop from her bed-side table and smiled at her.
"Over to my room. I thought we'd watch a movie. There's this great Japanese film I downloaded and I wanted to show you. I think you'd like it."

They crossed the room hand in hand bound for the door. Before John could open it, Cameron stopped them in their tracks and met his gaze apologetically.
"Not today, John. It's too late. You need to get some sleep. I promised your mother I would ensure that your sleeping patterns would be regular. We'll watch it in the evening after Christmas dinner, okay?" she offered.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right" he admitted, reminding himself of the time and dreading the morning. "Mom's gonna be bursting in soon, anyway."
And we really should be watching Scrooge…

Relieved that he had given in so easily, Cameron smiled and opened the door. Taking him by the hand, she led them across the landing over to his room.

The air was stuffy and his bed was still unmade as they opened the door and entered. Grinning sheepishly at his kid bedclothes, John decided he would ask Cameron if she would go shopping with him for some decent ones sometime. After all, sheep had gone out of fashion ages ago.
And I might get myself some new pyjamas while we're at it, he pondered, thinking of the ones in the dresser which he never wore because the sleeves and legs were too short.

Glancing Cameron up and down and wondering what she would look like in pyjamas, or something less inconspicuous, he decided he would ask her very soon if she would go shopping with him.
We could go to Victoria's Secret and— oh shut up, John…

Shaking his head to rid himself of any other improper thoughts, John let go of her hand and put down his laptop on the desk. Kicking off his shoes, he folded back the covers of his bed and hopped in.
Cameron remained standing like a statue and cocked an eyebrow at him, as he pulled the blanket over himself and awkwardly started to pull off his jeans underneath, while at the same time trying hard to keep his shorts on in the process.

"What?" John asked, noticing her demeanour and the tiny smile forming on her lips.

"That" she said grinning, pointing at the jeans which had just emerged from under the sheets and fallen to the floor at the foot of his bed.

John gazed down at the heap of inside-out material on the floor which accounted for his trousers.
"Well I couldn't just undress in front of you, could I?" he exclaimed, fruitlessly trying to stem the colour from rising in his cheeks and pulling the blanket up to his eyes.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before" Cameron stated with an evil smirk.

Fortunately, the blanket offered John some form of security by obscuring his cheeks from view. Surpassing red, he had turned purple and was opening and closing his mouth like a frog, squirming at the recollection of their arrival in 2008.

Satisfied that John was lost for words, Cameron gave him a curt nod and strode off purposefully towards the door, swapping her grin for her blank machine expression as she opened it.
"Good night, John."

"What? Wait, Cameron. Where are you going?" he inquired hastily, his head popping out from under his blanket like a pod.

Cameron stopped dead without turning to look at him.
"I must go and retrieve your mobile phone. Your mother was right, it would constitute a security risk, should anyone find it" she announced in her most monotonous voice.

If she would have been facing him, he would have noticed the inner turmoil currently raging inside her. Her blank face twitched slightly as she regretted every word she said.
I don't want to lie to you anymore…

"No!" John cried, getting to his feet and completely forgetting he was only wearing shorts.
"Confound my security! You're not going back there all alone in the cold. I'm not letting you."

He rushed up to her side, placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her towards him.
"Cameron, please. I don't want to lose you again."

It took all the CPU power she could muster to keep her blank face in place and her tears at bay. Knowing she had to betray her John's trust and lie to him again generated a pronounced feeling of pain inside her. She didn't want to lie anymore, but she knew no other alternative. She had been built to infiltrate, lies and cunning had been the best weapons at her disposal, her second names, and even though that was no longer the case, she could not deny her origins.

"I'll be careful, John. I promise" she forced out tonelessly.

Retreating from his touch, she turned her back on him and strode through the door, leaving him standing in a state of shock as she closed it in his face.

She had wanted so much to stay and keep watch over him as he fell asleep. Like he had done for her as she had entered standby. Tears welled up in her eyes as she descended the stairs, threatening to spill any minute.
I should be with him…

She forced herself to stop second guessing her motives. She had done the right thing. John needed his sleep and she also needed him out of the way to be able to do what she intended to do. It had to be done tonight, there was no other alternative. She had to leave him.
I'm sorry John…

…

End of part two

Author's note & quotes:

This story will be continued and concluded in Cameron's Christmas pt.3, which I have already started on and which I will again release as soon as I have completed it.
Thank you for reading.

The phrase Every street lamp's her reminder and the scene preceding it is taken from and loosely based on a passage from the song 'Nightswimming' by R.E.M.

"Oh, tut mir leid. Entschuldigen Sie" is German for "Oh, pardon me. I'm sorry"

"Wo haben Sie denn die Lichterkette gefunden? Wir hatten schon überall danach gesucht." is German for "Where did you find those lights? We've been looking everywhere for them."

Notausgang and Ausgang are the German terms for 'emergency exit' and 'exit'.

John's revelation about Cameron is taken from Peter Weir's 1975 film of Joan Lindsay's 'Picnic at Hanging Rock' ["Now I know" – "What do you know?" – "I know that Cameron (Miranda, actually) is a Botticelli angel"…].

John's words as he slaps Cameron in the face trying to make her reboot are taken from a similar scene in James Cameron's 1993 film 'The Abyss' ["You never backed away from anything before – Fight! – Fight!"]. The guy who played Kyle Reese in T1 also starred in this film…

Cameron's enigmatic words before they are so rudely interrupted are also taken from Peter Weir's 1975 film of Joan Lindsay's 'Picnic at Hanging Rock' ["Everything … begins … and ends … at exactly the right time and place"]

Derek's gut-bashing scene was adapted from and inspired by 'Mr. Creosote' of Monty Python's 'The Meaning of Life – The Autumn Years'.

John's description of Cameron while she is lying in standby is a line taken from the song 'Nervously' by the Pet Shop Boys ["Your flashing eyes and sudden smiles are never quite at ease … and neither am I…"].

The main characters in the story unfortunately still belong to Twentieth Century Fox…