"Oh my f-cking Jashin. I swear we've been here at least twenty f-cking times!" Hidan growled. Arashi stared at the familiar golden snake statue in defeat. "Can't help but agree with you," she mumbled.
"This whole base is a maze, hmm," Deidara pointed out. Kawauso nodded his agreement, "Maybe we should split up."
"I'll go with Arashi! (hmm)" Deidara and Hidan declared in unison. They shot each other a glare. Arashi rolled her eyes, "Great, I can't count on leaving either of you alone without killing each other…" She grabbed Deidara's arm and pulled him in one direction. Hidan shot the blonde a glare before heading the opposite way, Kawauso tagging behind him.
Deidara smirked to himself as he followed Arashi down another dimly lighted hallway, "I don't believe we've been this way before, hmm." Arashi stopped and surveyed their surroundings, "Yeah, I think you're right! And look, two doors!" She pointed to the doors, each at the end of the hallway.
"Which one should we take, hmm?" Arashi shrugged, "Guess we'll split up again." Arashi opened the left door and stuck her head inside, "Just don't get lost," she ordered and disappeared behind the door.
Deidara rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, like I'll get lost. I'll probably have to come looking for you.' He thought as he slipped through the other door. It led him down a hallway, even darker that the one he had came through earlier. He walked calmly over the gravelly path, observing every square inch of the hallway. Traps could be anywhere. It wasn't like they hadn't been through quite a few before.
Deidara stopped in front of a large wooden door. It was opening slightly, beckoning him inside with its invisible fingers. So when a wooden door invites you in, you might as well go in. And that's just what Deidara did.
The room behind the door was completely black. There was no source of illumination as the artist stepped inside. The door slammed behind him, and Deidara found himself smirking. What a cliché haunted house. Mazes, slamming doors, what next? Writing in… blood?
The lights snapped on, and Deidara got a first good look at his surroundings. The room was completely empty. There wasn't even an exit aside from where he came from. He groaned and turned to go back out to the hallway and find Arashi.
That was when he noticed a small girl standing in front of the entrance. She looked scared and held a small dagger in her hand, "Who are you?" she squeaked, "Why are you here?"
Deidara raised an eyebrow and bent down to meet her eyes. "Oh, don't worry, sweetie, I'm just passing by, hmm." Deidara told her in his sweetest voice. Then again, he was an S-ranked criminal.
She tightened her grip on the dagger, "Liar," She whispered. Deidara flashed her a smile, "What? It's the truth, hmm." She spoke the word 'liar' again, this time louder. She repeated the word louder and louder, loud enough that Deidara was sure that someone would find him if she didn't shut up. He whipped out a kunai and prepared to slit the young girl's throat.
But then suddenly, she wasn't a little girl anymore. Her body hardened into green scales, she lost her hair, her neck stretched and her eyes became snakelike and slit. The dagger in her now scaly hands lengthened so that it had to be at least ten feet long. She stretched her long neck so that it was inches away from his face and hissed.
Deidara gulped. What was with him and snakes? The sculptor jumped out of the way as the snake-girl attempted to sink her teeth into his torso. He tossed the kunai at the monster, but it harmlessly clinked off of her scale armor. He smirked, no matter. Just another chance to display his art. His hands whipped to his clay pouches and collected clay.
Snake-girl grasped the sword in her teeth and dashed at him. Deidara dodged each one of her swipes as his palm-mouths digested the clay. Finally, he grasped the ball of clay in each of his hands and molded them into clay sparrows.
Opening his palms, they flew at the snake and exploded. Snake-girl was blinded momentarily, just as tiny spiders crawled all up her neck. She glanced down at the clay insects that completely coated her head and neck.
Deidara smirked at the mutant, "Too bad you messed with the wrong guy, hmm." A single hand sign and the snake's head exploded.
Arashi growled as she wandered out of yet another trap. Why did she have to pick the door that led to a trap infested hallway? She had already set off five traps before turning around, only to be caught in two more.
She finally arrived at the door, only spikes sprouted from it. The end of the hallway began to close in on her. She sighed. 'I hope Deidara is having fun as well.'
Deidara smirked as he turned to exit the room. What a stupid little girl, challenging a full grown man like himself. He laughed quietly as he approached the door. Suddenly, a searing pain gripped his shoulder. His body froze with pain as Deidara felt sticky liquid drip from the wound.
He slowly looked down at his shoulder. A sword protruded from a wound on his upper arm, blood dripping steadily from the weapon. He winced and traced the weapon too its owner. None other then Snake-girl's mouth. She flashed him a smile and thrust the weapon forward.
Despite the pain it caused him, Deidara kept his mouth shut. Snake-girl apparently did not approve of this. She pulled out another sword and threw it. It sliced his side. He bit back a cry and sank to his knees. Blood flew out of his mouth as Snake-girl ripped her first sword out of his shoulder. She raised the sword above her head and brought it down.
Deidara rolled out of the way and got on his feet. The pain was too immense; he clutched his wounded side and knelt down on one leg. His eyes widened as another sword struck him in the chest, narrowly missing a vital spot. He hacked up more blood and cringed as the sword was pulled out of him.
Deidara slouched sideways as he gasped for air. The Snake-girl cackled and pressed the tip of the sword to Deidara's heaving chest. She leaned down to look at him in the eyes, apparently ready to enjoy his death. 'What a non-artistic way to die.' Deidara thought solemnly. The mutant began to dig the sword tip into his already bleeding chest.
"DIE, BITCH!" A flash of light blue and neon green tackled the Snake-girl. She hissed as she was knocked sideways, dropping the sword. Lion Arashi bared her teeth that sparkled with electricity. She sunk her teeth into the snake mutant's neck, piercing the scale armor with her electric addition to the bite. She let out a piercing shriek and slithered away from the lion.
Arashi snarled, "Did I say I was done with you?" Her mane sparked up and she sent an electric shock in Snake-girl's direction. She ducked out of the way and hissed. The snake flung herself onto the walls and scurried towards the exit. "Hey!" Arashi roared, "Get back here." She dashed after the serpent, only to slip and fall face first. The electric feline struggled to her feet and glared as the serpent escaped. She'd go after it. But as she prepared for a chase, Arashi noticed what she had slipped on.
She brought a paw to her face. Crimson liquid. Blood. Damn, the thing had hit her. No, it wasn't her blood. That reminded her. Wasn't she forgetting something? Uh… Began with a D. Day… Today was Saturday? … Or was it Friday? Dei… DEIDARA. "SHIT!" Arashi hissed out loud. She'd completely forgotten about him. She changed back to her human form before she got carried away again.
She turned around to find him lying facedown directly behind him, blood slowly gathering in a pool beneath his body. Arashi knelt down beside him, her knees becoming soaked in his blood. She gently rolled him onto his back and took a closer look at him. Deidara didn't appear to be breathing. Arashi grit her teeth and nudged him gently while calling his name. No answer of course. She leaned forward and placed an ear on his chest and listened.
He still had a heartbeat. There was still hope. She quickly removed his cloak and his shirt underneath it, trying to ignore the fact that she was stripping one of her boyfriends. Arashi flinched at the many punctures that littered his upper body. She placed her hands on the wound on his chest and began to heal him.
The Akatsuki's eyes wandered to the strange tattoo on his chest. So they were alike in a way. Arashi's own tattoo glowed an intense silver- she was angry. It was her fault Deidara was like this. Partially. If she hadn't been so caught up in fighting that stupid snake…
Arashi snarled and moved on to the next wound on his side. Deidara coughed up more blood; she paused to wipe his mouth. At least she could tell he was breathing. Arashi continued to yell at her self. She shouldn't have split up with him. She should have stayed by his side and protect him, like the Fenikkusu were trained to do. What ever the cost, protect the people they-
"Arashi…" Arashi stared at Deidara when he whispered her name. The wound on his side was patched up; she moved to the one on his shoulder. Deidara smiled weakly at her as Arashi fixed his shoulder wound. She avoided his eyes and focused solely on the injury. The tattoo on her shoulder stopped glowing silver and the light disappeared. Arashi opened her medicine pouch and wrapped bandages around Deidara's closed wounds to ensure they wouldn't open again.
"Arashi?" Deidara asked hoarsely. She ignored him yet again and tied the bandages together. He sat up, "Arashi." Oh god, she was beginning to hate her name. Arashi stared at him for a while. He stared back just as intense. She gave up and embraced him in a hug, sobbing on his shoulder. Deidara sighed and rubbed her back gently, "Women…" He muttered.
The overwhelming urge to punch Deidara turned into more tears. "I'm… getting your bandages all wet," Arashi choked. Deidara glanced at his shoulder, "Yes you are, hmm." Guilt brought on more tears. So did the familiar sentence ender. Deidara sighed again, "Arashi, what are you getting so worked up about, hmm?" More tears. Smooth.
"That's the second time you've been hurt because of that stupid lion transformation," Arashi managed to spit out. Instead of making another stupid comment, Deidara decided to change the subject, "What about Hidan and Kawauso, hmm?"
Arashi buried her face in Deidara's shoulder, the tears finally stopping, "They're fine, probably..."
Meanwhile…
"AGH! KAWAUSO, DAMN YOU! GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME WITH THIS GIANT SPERM!"
"I WOULD BUT I'M TRYING NOT TO GET EATEN BY THIS THING!"
"HISSSSSS!"
"OH MY GOD (JASHIN)!"
Back to our lovers…
Deidara helped Arashi to her feet, "We should probably go look for them, hmm." Arashi sniffled and clung to his side as they exited the room.
They had walked in utter silence down the halls they had taken. Arashi's anger died, and her tattoo began to glow a sickly green. Deidara didn't bother asking her what it meant.
"What's with the Jashin followers and the Fenikkusu, hmm?"
Arashi glanced up at him; she had her eyes focused on the ground they walked on. "The Fenikkusu were devoted to anyone they fell in love with. If something bad happened to something or someone they loved, they would unleash their fury on anything. Jashinists found this too our liking and got some of my clan to fall in love with them. They used us to destroy their enemies."
Deidara raised an eyebrow, "So what? Is Hidan using you, then, hmm?" His hands curled into fists. Arashi shook her head, "Well, I thought he would. But… actually no. Some Jashinists who used the Fenikkusu actually did fall in love with each other. And then they happily… killed things."
CRASH.
The shinobi were on guard instantly. Deidara's hands had already flown to his clay pouches, and his mouths were chewing clay rapidly. Arashi's chakra had traveled to her fists and became crab pinchers. She snapped them anxiously as they followed the direction of the crash.
Smoke rose from the broken wall. A green figure burst out of the hole and scampered down the hallway. Arashi recognized the figure as the Snake-girl. She snarled, but Deidara pulled her away.
"Come on, hmm. We're going this way." He pulled her into the hole Snake-girl created. It was huge and dark; Deidara could barely see where he was going. However, Arashi had keen vision because of her animalistic attributes. She used this to pull the artist along.
"ow…"
Arashi paused, "Hear that?" Deidara looked at her inquisitively, "Hear what, hmm?"
"Ow…" Louder now. Arashi pulled Deidara further down the tunnel. "Ow, shit." The voice grew louder as they went deeper into the tunnel. "OW! Shit."
"OW! SHIT!"
"OW! That f-cking hurts, seriously. OW, SHIT!"
Arashi cringed when she recognized Hidan's voice. Her chakra pinchers grew longer and sharper as she quickened her pace, practically dragging Deidara behind her. Light began to filter at the edge of the tunnel. The shouts grew even louder. Arashi completely forgot about Deidara and sprinted out the tunnel. Her skin began to melt.
Orochimaru grinned as he drew more blood with his snakes. Their jaws had parted, exposing a single long sword. There were dozens of them, all swarming in the small room. The room appeared to be an infirmary. There were hundreds of vials containing liquids all on shelves bordering the room. And in the center was a table. And on that table happened to be a Jashinist.
At least ten snakes (their squirming bodies made it hard to tell what they were) had dug their swords into Hidan's body. Blood flowed from her side, chest, and mouth.
"So, are you ready to tell me the key to your immortality?" Hidan growled, "I kill assholes like you!" Orochimaru cackled. Another snake-sword was stabbed into Hidan's arms. Hidan growled again. Another sword into his leg.
Beside Orochimaru stood Snake-girl herself. And chained to the wall behind Snake-girl herself was Kawauso, himself. Orochimaru giggled creepily again and turned to the otter, "You're next." He smiled and rubbed his hand down the otter's neck.
Kawauso shivered, "Aw man, I think I wet myself." Snake-girl hissed. Orochimaru turned back to Hidan, "Do you mind cleaning that up?"
Just then, the wall burst open. Arashi toppled out of the debris, in full phoenix form. Deidara coughed, "THE PHOENIX? Why the hell did you use that thing, hmm? It's freaking huge! Couldn't you have gone for stealth with the weasel, hmm? Now our cover's completely… Oh… shit."
Kawauso made a feeble wave from the chained up position he was in. Hidan struggled to raise his head. Orochimaru and Snake-girl stared at the abnormally large chicken and girly man.
"Hi." Arashi said.
Orochimaru hissed and his snake-swords retreated back up his arm. Arashi's eye twitched momentarily before her form changed into a purple serpent. She returned the hiss, her teeth already leaking violet poison that dripped onto the ground. The floor that the poison hit sizzled and shriveled into dust.
Arashi closed her jaws and began generating massive amounts of poison in her mouth. She spewed toward a ball of gunk that splashed over the chains that held Kawauso down. The metal began to rust before finally breaking off into small chunks. The otter shook his fur as he fell to the ground.
Arashi slithered over to Hidan, who was struggling to a sitting position. He nodded at the serpent to signal that he didn't need any assistance. At that moment, a kunai was whipped in Arashi's direction. She whipped her tail around and the quills extended until they formed a spiky shield. The weapon clanged harmlessly off the spikes and onto the floor.
The serpent slithered over to the medicine vials and broke one of them that contained a yellow liquid. She slurped the liquid from the floor, hoping to God it wasn't pee, and turned to face Orochimaru. "I'll take the rapist, you three get the snake," Arashi hissed. Hidan snatched his scythe from the table and tossed Kawauso his battleaxe. The otter caught it and twirled the weapon in his paws.
Deidara tossed a few of his bombs at the snake mutant, and in the next second, the three were gone. Arashi and Orochimaru were left alone in the room. "Finally, just the two of us," Orochimaru giggled. Arashi hissed quietly. Hopefully, he didn't rape snakes. She began to gather poison in her mouth and mold it into tiny poison darts. Down and out of Orochimaru's arm slithered a large green snake. It opened its jaws and gagged up a long and pointy sword. A similar snake crawled out of the Sannin's other arm and did the same. To make things worse, a final sword appeared out of Orochimaru's own mouth. Oh, and the swords dripped green stuff.
Arashi cackled to herself and spit the poison darts at Orochimaru's left leg. Without feeling the slightest prick, he charged but only to find that his leg was paralyzed. He stumbled awkwardly and tripped. Arashi grinned at plunged her spiked and drenched in poison tail into Orochimaru's shoulder. He disappeared in a puff of smoke. Arashi hissed and was slashed by one of the snake swords.
The transformed kunoichi slid backwards into the medicine shelf. A few vials fell to the floor and shattered, their contents spilled everywhere. The chemicals immediately were soaked into Arashi's skin without her even thinking about it. Ignoring the wooziness, she spit a river of poison at her opponent. He dodged this, but the floor shriveled beneath the chemicals. Orochimaru's neck stretched as he slashed Arashi yet again.
This time, Arashi saw it coming. However, sudden dizziness prevented her from moving out of the way. Once again she was thrown backwards and shattered all of the medicine vials. The serpent hiccupped as the chemicals were absorbed. Her body felt like lead. Arashi lazily stared up at Orochimaru, who was approaching her. A lazy smile crept to her face.
"Hee haw. *hiccup* The unicorns t-told me th-that… pudding … tastes g-good on… *hiccup* t-turtle pancakes…" The snake's words were slurred. Orochimaru stared at her, gulping his sword back down. He poked Arashi's neck with one of his snake-swords. Chemicals leaked onto the floor. Arashi burst out laughing.
"*hiccup* S-stop. I never liked… acupuncture…" She began to blow tiny poisonous bubbles and rolled around. Orochimaru, meanwhile, stared. "Hee, *hiccup* *hiccup* C-can has virginity n-now?" Arashi continued. Orochimaru was getting annoyed with Arashi's behavior. He brought both swords above his head and plunged them downward.
Arashi slithered out of the weapon's way, "S-sorry. Arashi's gotta *hiccup* find the ligers now…" She stumbled out of the room. Orochimaru stared at the door she had left for a moment before dashing after her.
He saw her slithering lazily down the hallway, leaving a trail of purple chemicals. "I won't let you get away!" Orochimaru yelled. Arashi stopped and slowly turned around, "My leprechauns disapprove." Arashi spewed a gigantic amount of poison at Orochimaru. She missed by a margin and hit a…. hit… a… Crap. Arashi hit a support beam.
Hidan smiled with joy as his scythe slashed the snake mutant through the middle. Blood poured to the ground. Hidan stepped out of the way as water whipped forth and slammed the mutant to the ground. Kawauso froze the water, trapping the serpent. Deidara grinned as his clay spiders crawled over the mutant's body. "You're not getting away this time, hmm! Katsu!"
The snake exploded, and as the dust cleared, there was nothing but a spot of blood. Deidara smirked, happy to have his revenge. Hidan sighed, "Great, the dumbass got to kill it." He wiped some blood off of the corner of his mouth and slung his scythe onto his back. "Can we go-"
Hidan was cut off by a loud rumble. The ground started shaking. Kawauso growled at turned back to where Snake-girl was. No sign. Then… A rock hit the otter in the head. His eyes widened, "It's collapsing!" Kawauso hollered. "WHAT?" Hidan yelled, "Great, just f-cking great!" Deidara was already running down the hallway they had fought in, "Come on, hmm."
Hidan and Kawauso followed him. "Arashi!" Hidan called out, "Damn, where the hell did she go?" Deidara dodged a chunk of rock that nearly squashed him, "There! I think I see her snake form!" He pointed to the edge of the hallway. Rocks began to fill up the underground hideout. The three quickened their pace, but before they could reach Arashi, someone had scooped her up off the ground.
"NO!" Deidara and Hidan hissed. "Who ever took her must try to be escaping; we'll find her after we get out of here!" Kawauso called to them, "Now come on!" Reluctantly, the two Akatsuki members ran to find an exit.
Hidan glanced behind him. Rock piles were beginning to catch up to them, "HURRY THE HELL UP." Hidan yelled. "I see light, hmm!" Deidara called. Sure enough, the exit was only a few feet away. They managed to return to the hole they had entered just as the opening behind them disappeared under rock piles.
And before they could even be relieved, they realized the hole was crumbling as well. A rock clonked Hidan in the head, "Ow, shit!" He snarled and rubbed his sore spot. "The opening's, closing, hmm!" Deidara yelled. Water whipped out of Kawauso's fur and grabbed the edge of the hole. "Grab on to me!" The otter ordered. Deidara grasped his shoulder, and Hidan moved to do the same.
Or tried to at least. "OH HELL NO. I'M STUCK!" Hidan screeched. His foot was buried under rock and he couldn't move as he squirmed around. Deidara groaned and grabbed Hidan's hand. Still wouldn't budge. "Hurry!" Kawauso called frantically. The opening was beginning to disappear as more rocks covered the ditch.
Kawauso coughed and opened his golden eyes. He was lying on his back and also happened to be covered in dirt. But above him was a blue sky. Kawauso sprang to his feet, "I did it!" He shook Hidan and Deidara awake, who were sprawled out next to him.
"Guys, we're alive!" The otter yelled, "I dragged you out of there." He beamed.
"Keep telling yourself that, Kawauso." A sarcastic voice said.
Kawauso's eye twitched. He recognized that stupid voice. "Kashira," He hissed.