AN

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the recognizable characters from the Twilight Saga.

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Oh and I almost forgot… thank you so much for reading, following and putting this story as a favorite – that's the reason why I keep updating after all. I hope you'll enjoy

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Chapter 9: You and me - Lifehouse

It had been a month since I've come to La Push. Most nights was spend at Paul's, not that we had gone all the way yet. I've become a lot closer to the pack and Felicity, but had spent very little time with the Cullens. Alice had taken me shopping a few times and it was not as bad as Bella had made it out. I always have a fantastic time with the pixie-like vampire and it really is a shame, I haven't spent more time with her.

Speaking of which I had just left the Cullens' in one of my new outfits – denim playsuit, gladiator sandals and a t-shirt with a V-neck – and I was actually more wearing it because it was comfortable and I liked the simplicity of it. Jasper managed to hold Alice back while I fled, as she did not approve – one of these days I would have to give in and let her put a dress on me, but as Arya Stark would have said: not today. Yes, Edward had made me get hooked on the Game of Thrones series, but I stopped reading after a few books – well, it was more like a break from the books as I was mad George Martin for killing some of my favorite characters. Moreover, I kept getting the urge to smash Joffrey's head in the more I read – that guy annoy the shit out of me. I might resume reading in the future as it was brilliant work, but right now, I couldn't handle all off those lives being killed and families torn apart. I know it was silly of me, but maybe I should just read something a bit more innocent and happy – don't judge, but I have begun reading the Narnia books, well, I was almost done seeing as the books in that series are rather short, but still.

I sped through the forest towards the treaty line. Paul was waiting for me. We were going to some sort of Quileute bonfire. I was rather nervous, because I have yet to meet the Elders and I knew they didn't like me because of what I was. No matter, I was not going to let it bother me much. The pack was going to be there with their imprints so it would be fun.

"Does Alice know you're dressed as a tomboy?" Paul asked after a long hello-kiss.

"I fled the scene before she could force me into a dress" I grinned.

He chuckled and gave me a peck on the lips before jogging behind some trees. He threw his cut-offs back to me and I giggled. I was slowly beginning not to be all that embarrassed about stuff, but let me tell you, it was really slowly. Soon we ran towards First Beach side by side, him in wolf-form and me with his cut-offs in hand. I was still astonished of how magnificent his wolf was. The grey resembled a thunderstorm and couldn't fit the temperamental shape shifter any better. The fur was so soft and fuzzy, and I loved snuggling into his side after a hunt. He had begun hunting with me – much to my dismay in the beginning, as I didn't want him to look at me in disgust – and he sometimes ate the carcass after I finished… granted it was a deer because the predators such as cougars or bears apparently didn't taste as good to him. Speaking of which, I didn't hunt cougars or bears when he was hunting with me, because he didn't like it when they fought back – not that they could hurt me in any way - but whatever made him sound and happy.

When the trees stood further apart and we could hear the musical rhythm of the ocean and laughter from the other pack members, he phased back and put on his cut-offs. He almost didn't give me any time to turn around, that jerk. I was so busy being embarrassed and frustrated with him that I didn't hear him coming up behind me. I yelped when he put his arms around my waist from behind and he chuckled in amusement.

"Either you're a really bad vampire or I'm just awesome at sneaking up on you" he whispered and kissed my neck. I didn't want to tell him that I was actually distracted as I would never hear the end of it. He would only turn it into something perverted and make me further embarrassed.

"You wish" I turned around in his arms on rested my hands on his bare chest. The contrast of our skin never seized to amaze me. I reached up and placed a delicate kiss on his lips – or it started out delicate at least. He gently bit my bottom lip and I kissed him back almost hungrily. He just knew which buttons to push.

"No, I'm just awesome" he smirked against my lips.

"Shut up" I mumbled making sure he wouldn't comment as I deepened the kiss. His hands held me tighter and I was flush up against him. My hands wandered slowly towards the back of his head, while his where going down my back until they rested on my hips. His tongue darted into my mouth and I couldn't stop myself from letting out a soft moan.

"What was that?" he teased looking me in the eyes as I thanked God for the umpteenth time that I did not have the means to blush. Oh, that was so embarrassing! I hadn't made a sound like that ever!

I could see a mischievous look in his brown eyes, but there was also something else. Something that made my inside turn to jelly and my knees buckle. It wasn't the first time he had looked at me like that, but the effects of that one particular look never lessened.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I said pulling back even though I knew it was a little too late to feign innocence or pretend – but knowing didn't stop me from trying.

"Oh, you know very well what I'm talking about, missy" he growled embracing me once more.

"Nope" I said popping the 'p' and giving him a quick peck on the lips. I smiled at him innocently.

"But maybe we should join the others before they start wondering why we're being so late?" I suggested and already started guiding him towards where I assumed the bonfire was.

"I think they might have an idea of what could be keeping us" he mumbled and I hit him playfully. He chuckled and intertwined our fingers.

When we got to the bonfire several of the other pack members –Brady, Collin and Embry – wolf whistled at us. I let Paul go so he could kick their butts, but it turned out that they didn't need any more than a simple glare before stepping back with fearful faces and I laughed. Kim and Emily joined me.

"What kept you?" Kim asked innocently giving my clothes a pointed look and I quickly looked down. One of the clippers on my playsuit was open while my t-shirt hung slightly askew. I scowled in fluent German.

"When did he… Paul!" I yelled angrily after quickly straightened my clothes and ran after him vampire speed. He could've told me! Did he want to make me embarrassed? Easy to answer that one.

"Yes, sweetie?" he asked all too innocently. Oh, he knew what was coming! He never called me sweetie unless he had done something. He'd so done that on purpose!

I could see Embry was about to make a comment I most likely wouldn't appreciate so I quickly stopped him.

"I will rip your limbs off starting with your most precious one, if you even think about speaking, Embry" I hissed and he shut his mouth with a click. I looked back at Paul who was still smiling at me.

"You could've told me how I looked, you jerk" I hissed in a low voice even though every member of the pack could probably hear us with their better-than-human hearing. Luckily, they pretended to not listen in, but I knew some of them were as I could see several smirking or sending me worried glances – as if I would ever hurt Paul. Well, maybe just a little.

"You always look beautiful to me" he smiled innocently. I gave him my best vampire death glare, but he didn't even flinch the slightest.

"You just be happy I don't particularly want the pack to kill me for ripping your arm out of its socket" I grumbled under my breath unable to stay mad at him.

He laughed as if I hadn't just threatened his well-being.

"What's with you and tearing people apart tonight?" he chuckled and gave me a smooch on the cheek before intertwining our fingers. The others around seemed to visibly relax and I wanted nothing more than to just dig a hole and bury myself in it. God, it was so embarrassing that they all had to witness my little insanity moment!

"Not my fault for being stuck in a hormonal body for all eternity, you know" I muttered embarrassedly.

"Geez, I didn't know Paul wasn't the temperamental one in that relationship" I heard Embry whisper to a chuckling Jacob, but it stopped as I gave them a glare. Luckily, my little entrance was quickly forgotten and soon laughter echoed through the air yet again. When food was served, all the guys threw themselves over it like a pack of wolves – I know, I make me laugh too! Not.

"Isn't it just lovely to be stuck to a nearly-human garbage can for the rest of your life?" I smiled sarcastically to Kim and Emily. They'd both managed to get some food before the pack got to it. They laughed good-naturedly.

"Yeah, but they are our nearly-human garbage cans" Kim said affectionately just as Jared plopped down on the blanket beside her.

"That… we are" he said and kissed her on the cheek before digging in to his Mount Everest-looking pile of food. Not that any of the others were any better. Paul sat down beside me while Sam sat beside Emily.

"Yeah, well, one can always close their eyes" I smirked and Paul elbowed me in the side with a playful growl so I almost tipped over.

"I'll flip your plate over" I threatened with an evil smirk. He pulled his plate closer to his body and mock gasped.

"You wouldn't"

"Wanna bet, sugarpie?"

"No wonder you're going to hell" he said and drew a cross in the air in front of me. I bit the air in front of him with a loud click and he stuck out his tongue at me. I couldn't help but giggle at how childish we were being and how good it was to not care about that.

"You two are so weird" Collin mumbled with food in his mouth.

"That's what you get from imprinting on a bloodsucker" Embry teased apparently not fearing for his own well-being anymore.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure they're just weird. We know Paul are" Seth commented.

Paul growled in annoyance, but I just grabbed his jaw and kissed him on the lips. He almost dropped his plate and the others laughed loudly.

"Oh the Tribe Elders are here" Brady said and I looked in the direction of his gaze. Paul had told me who was who, so it wasn't too hard for me to connect the names with the persons.

I shifted uncomfortable under their disapproving gazes, but didn't have much time to wallow in awkwardness as a very welcome voice rang through the air.

"Auntie Ann, you're here!"

"Claire, no, wait" I ignored Sue's stern whisper to the girl and opened my arms. She hugged me tightly and I gently put my arms around her.

"Quil, that's it, I'm taking your imprint and you can have Paul" I exclaimed and he quickly pried the girl out of my embrace.

"What!? Paul can be just as great as any other child!" I fake-pouted and the pack laughed. Quil stuck out his tongue at me, but before I had time to retaliate, Paul was over me.

"What did you say, woman?" he growled with his arms around my waist pining me under his upper body. I giggled and made my most innocent puppy-dog face I could muster.

"Oh, you know I was only kidding. I would never switch you with anyone, honey" I said sweetly. Paul growled yet again, but there was no annoyance behind it and I knew my puppy-dog face had worked. I kissed his nose before sitting up. Paul leaned back on his palms and I leaned into him. Billy had apparently begun talking, and I listened interested – or at least I tried, but it was proven difficult when Paul kept trailing circles on my arm. However, I got the essence of the story and it haunted my thoughts long after Billy finished talking. The word sacrifice kept twirling in my head and I thought about my turning.

My life was unwillingly sacrificed to a mad doctor's personal, morbid interest and human experimenting. So was my brother's life. In a long time I believed Tom drew the long straw; rather a quick death than excruciating pain followed by an eternity of misery. However, after meeting Paul I had to review that look on life. I knew life with Paul was more than I could ever hope for, but as I no longer felt envious of my dead twin, instead I had started feeling guilty. Why was it fair that I got to live with the love of my life – which I still haven't officially told Paul – when my brother's life ended in misery? It broke my heart thinking about our last moment together. I missed Tom every day, even though Paul helped a lot - without knowing.

I was pulled out of my painful thoughts by some really annoying sound. I looked around almost disoriented, but soon found the source of the sound to be Paul flicking his fingers in front of my face.

"How long was I out?" I asked sheepishly and he smiled affectionately.

"Just a few minutes. What were you thinking about? You looked so sad" he whispered genuinely concerned and I offered a small smile. No one besides Paul seemed to have noticed my spacing out. Good.

"Just… you know…" should I tell him about it? This wasn't the first time he'd caught me reminiscing my past and I could see how worried I made him.

"You don't have to tell me" he said kissing my shoulder, but I knew he was wrong.

"No, I think… would you like to go for a walk?" I asked with a nervous smile. How should I even begin to tell him? How would he react? Would he pity me?

"Yeah" he pulled me up and took my hand. The waves sighed heavily against the beach as if the earth was sleeping. We walked in silence while I tried to figure out how to begin and he gave me all the time I needed. How I could ever be worthy of him, I did not know.

"I wasn't bitten by a vampire, you know. I was turned by the worst kind of human" I paused. We had stopped walking and were sitting on some rocks. We could faintly see the bonfire in the distance, but my gaze wandered towards the ocean, past the horizon, not really seeing anything. Paul hadn't let go of my hand and I appreciated the silent comfort. It was almost as if his hand was the only thing still keeping me in the presence.

"He was a doctor working in Auschwitz, and he was especially fond of twins" I all but spat out the word as if tasting something utterly disgusting. Paul's hand squished mine, but I wasn't sure if it was in comfort or anger. I wasn't looking at him.

"He experimented on some of the prisoners there. Doing… awful things and… with twins he could compare the result in autopsies after…" I unnecessarily held my breath. Paul put his arms around me. I could feel him shaking, but I wanted… had to finish. I didn't think I would be able to start over another time and I wanted him to know how I turned. I wanted to finally be able to tell someone and not be afraid of the ghosts of the past, even though the pain would most likely never stop.

"He killed my brother and me in Auschwitz in 1944, trying to see if… if vampire venom could change you if… you were drained, and it turns out that you can't. My brother didn't turn with me and I loathed that man more than anything for taking my brother from me like that and sentencing me to live an eternity alone" I closed my eyes wishing for the first time that I could actually cry tears. It felt so strange to cry dryly like this. I recalled how I had cried for days on end after I overcame the thirst of a newborn and realized what I had lost. Paul was still shaking violently, but didn't phase. I dry sobbed as my mood drifted between seething hate and consuming pain while Paul held me close. When I had more control over my emotions and looked at my mates face. It broke my heart to see him silently cry for me like that, the tears making trails down his tanned cheeks. He looked so sad I regretted telling him.

I was just about to start apologizing, but he wouldn't let me. He took my face in both his hands and kissed my forehead before resting his against mine.

"My brave, brave, girl" he muttered in compassionate sadness and awe. I didn't understand how he could think of me as brave, but I didn't argue. He wouldn't let me if I had. I just simply crashed my lips against his in the best way I knew how to thank him for listening and just being there. I was filled with so much love and electrifying affection, I couldn't stop the words slipping out.

"I love you" I breathed into his mouth and surprised even myself. He froze and pulled away to look at me in wonder.

"Say it again" he said holding his breath and I giggled, kissing his jaw.

"I love you, Paul, more than anything" I smiled affectionately.

"About damn time" he growled before crashing his lips unto mine and laid me in the sand. I wrapped my legs and arms around him and kissed him back just as eagerly. When he pulled away, he was panting heavily and I looked at him in adoration. His forehead rested against mine. Hot and cold against the other. It was hard to focus – speaking of which, I was still wrapped around him in a rather… distracting manner.

"I love you too. I can't stand what happened to you. I'm just so…" he said through clenched teeth and I shushed him.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but… if you think about, something positive has actually come out of it" I realized as I spoke and almost smiled… almost.

"Don't you dare…" he growled and held me tighter to his body – not that I'd thought it was possible.

"I wouldn't have met you, if he hadn't experimented on me like he did" I said before he began to shake too violently.

"True, but still…"

"I know"

"If you ever want to talk about it. About your brother or… anything. Don't hesitate to talk to me, ok? OK?!" he almost shook me at the last part and I nodded with a grateful smile.

"Oh, Paul, how could I've lived this long without you?" I sighed and kissed his clenched jaw. He relaxed as I began to trail kisses all over his neck and face.

"Beats me" he growled in a husky voice that made me rip his shirt of in inhumane speed. He chuckled and captured my lips in a much gentler kiss. I let out a groan as he broke it off and he chuckled yet again.

"We better stop before it turns much more heated. I don't want to do this like that. It have to be…" he trailed of and I nodded. Yeah, pity-sex probably wasn't the most romantic way to do it as our first time.

I jumped to the ground.

"You're right" I sighed in defeat.

"Damn it, now I wish I weren't"

I hit him playfully.

"Should we go back to the others?"

"Nah, let's stay out here for a bit" I answered quietly and he nodded in understanding, pulling me into a tight embrace.